


The Requiem of C

by Blahzor



Category: Code Geass
Genre: Action/Adventure, Canon Compliant, F/M, Fantasy, Friendship, M/M, Post-Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion R2, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2020-10-20 09:06:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 96,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20672816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blahzor/pseuds/Blahzor
Summary: * As of 5/2/20, Arc 1 is complete!Caught in shambles, Suzaku struggles to carry on with Lelouch's vision, and hits a breaking point on the anniversary of his death. With nothing to turn to and no one to confide in, he agrees to the first sliver of hope he finds — a plan presented to him by C.C., who mysteriously visits him the same night without warning.





	1. Promises of Tomorrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Shameless plug: For anyone who may be interested, feel free to check out my other Code Geass story, “Our Final Hours”!)
> 
> I originally wrote this as my own take on a sequel for R2, since the anime left a lot of strings hanging and I wanted to continue the story in classic insane Code Geass fashion. Then one thing led to another and, well, here we are! ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> For the most part, all events intend to follow canon guidelines, including existing locations and characters. Content is derived from the main anime, along with relevant picture dramas. Spinoffs, manga and alternate universe materials, such as Akito the Exiled and Lelouch of the Resurrection, are not included, aside from one character in the story. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy!

"_Kill a man normally, and it's considered a crime. But kill many on the battlefield, and you become a hero._" — _Luciano Bradley_

* * *

"Fool!" Lelouch cried, pulling out a pistol. But it was of little use—the masked man Zero swept it aside with little effort, as if it were no more than a toy.

As Zero readied his sword before Lelouch's heart, the cameras zoomed in on the emperor's reaction, capturing his final smile.

_"One year after the demon tyrant was murdered by the crusader of justice, Zero, Britannia has since brought the world together with its reunification efforts."_

As per usual, Milly Ashford spoke with a contagious smile. This time, however, it seemed a bit forced.

_"Empress Nunnally, the heir to the throne and a descendant of Charles Zi Britannia, currently leads the country with the help of the masked hero. We hope our viewers have celebrated this holiday, and may we continue to commemorate the anniversary of true evil—"_

Suzaku switched off the TV, his hand shaking around the remote. He couldn’t stand it any longer. The fact that the grainy news reel—which barely passed for footage—held the last video evidence of Lelouch alive nearly made him sick to his stomach.

Like Lelouch had anticipated, the Zero Requiem had gone according to plan. Over the past year, Britannia had turned their focus towards social issues, causing rates of mortality to drop across the country. Thanks to Nunnally's decisions to assist the common people, the Britannian government had ushered in a new order of peace, causing a rippling effect across the globe. And Zero had also become the new symbol for justice, revered as the messiah who had defeated the demon king.

Although Lelouch may have had his shortcomings, the bastard had been a near flawless strategist.

For anyone else, bearing the title of Zero may have felt like an honor. A chance to be a hero. But he was no hero, and Lelouch's death was an eternally open wound, bleeding through him and leaving him hollow as the days came and went in a blur.

It was strange. After everything that had taken place, they were finally in a better place. Just like Suzaku had always wanted. And yet, he had never felt less alive.

Especially today.

_God damn you, Lelouch_, Suzaku thought, gritting his teeth. Tears stung the back of his eyes. _You were right all along, weren't you? But where does that leave me now, without you here? Why didn't you think of that too?_

He swung his fist down, nearly knocking over the table. Under different circumstances he might have been afraid of waking up Nunnally, but it didn't matter now. Nothing did.

A grunt escaped him as he doubled over, choking. He desperately clutched at his chest, his heart about to split into two.

"You're hurting again, aren't you?"

Suzaku's eyes snapped open. That voice—he would have recognized it anywhere. No one else sounded so lifeless. "C.C? Is that you?"

She was leaning against the open doorway, awash in her Black Knight ensemble. Unsurprisingly, her expression was devoid of emotion. There was something about her lack of warmth, the timeless calm of someone who had lost their humanity, that had always left him with an uncomfortable chill.

"Did you miss me, Kururugi?" she asked, flashing a smile.

"I…"

He cleared his throat. "What are you doing here, C.C.?"

She stepped into the cabin, examining it over (or was she judging? He could never tell with her). Aside from a wooden bench, a mini TV and the table he had almost broken, there was only a small mattress and a nightstand, complete with a photograph of him and the Lamperouge siblings from when they were children.

"Hm." C.C. walked over and hopped on to his bed, not bothering to wait for an invitation. "You know, there are much better rooms on the Ikaruga. Or the Imperial Palace. I don't understand why you insist on living in a closet."

Suzaku opened his mouth, then let it fall closed. Maybe he should have been more suspicious, but nothing regarding C.C. surprised him anymore. Even if he asked, he knew better than to expect a straightforward answer. "Rebuilding both took most of Britannia's resources, and there aren't many rooms available. I left them for those in greater need."

"Oh?" she pondered, gazing up at the ceiling. "Is that it? The great Zero sleeps in a cabin while his subjects live in luxury? You really are a hero, aren't you?"

"Stop it." He slumped back against the wall. "Don't do this. Not today."

"Where is Nunnally? I thought she'd be staying with you?"

"She's sleeping in the room next door. I didn't want her to see me like...well, like this."

"Hm." C.C. proceeded to stretch atop of the bedsheets, leaving him to wonder how dirty his covers would end up. The last time they met had been at Pendragon a few months prior. Who knows where she's been?

"I know you're lying. You're here because you're trying to keep her safe, but from what?" she questioned, her voice containing a rare spark of curiosity. "You never told me why you chose to hide out in the countryside."

"You never gave me a chance to," he said. "I've only seen you a few times since the Requiem."

"I thought there were no more threats," she pressed on, as if she hadn't heard him. "World peace is here, is it not?"

The scoff that escaped him was humorless. "Only for now," he said. "I doubt it will stay forever. This was the best way to avoid putting her at risk."

"Putting her at risk? So all our plans would have amounted to nothing?" She shook her head. "How depressing. Lelouch would be furious if he knew."

She pulled herself up. Without checking, Suzaku could tell that she was analyzing him over, as if she could see _through_ him, giving him the urge to shift uneasily. For someone who no longer knew how it felt to be human, she certainly knew how to make them uncomfortable. He remembered much about C.C., but he could not recall her being so_ irritating_.

"Suzaku." Her voice carried a weight of finality. "Do you regret what we've done?"

"Regret?" Suzaku repeated in disbelief, his eyes half closed. The exhaustion was settling in. Everything was becoming slightly hazy, as if he were in a dream. "Does it matter? It's too late for that, isn't it?"

"I know you're hurting, though I can't say I know why. You agreed to this."

"So did you." His words tasted bitter. "You mourned him as much as I did."

"My heart does not hold on to emotions for long."

"And now I know _you're_ lying." A razor edge had crept into his voice. Why do this today, of all days? Why dig the knife deeper on his anniversary?

"I know it's the anniversary," she said, as if she had read his thoughts, "of the day he died. If it's any consolation, the first few years are the hardest."

"That's easy for you to say." He dug his fist into the bench. "Everyone you've known over the last few centuries is already dead."

Though some tiny part of him had expected her to lash out, he was less surprised by her lack of a reaction. "And what of it?"

"You're used to this. Maybe you can 'move on quickly', but I...can’t." He gestured to the blank screen. "Have you seen the news? They're memorializing him as a demon."

"Yes, well, that was the goal," she replied matter-of-factly. "That was why Lelouch wanted you to kill him in the first place. And you succeeded."

"Did I?" He scowled. "Does it count as a success if I lost something valuable?"

"Lost what? Lelouch?" He could practically feel C.C. judging him, rolling her eyes. "Don't be so melodramatic—"

"No. There was something else."

When he turned to her, his eyes were blank. "I lost my final chance to find peace. For as long as I live, I will be marked as the man who killed him."

She tilted her head to one side. "I thought you hated Lelouch. For killing Euphemia."

Her name was a stab in the stomach. His expression twisted, the tears now streaming down his cheeks. "I did," he choked out. "For so long."

"And yet?" The way C.C. was observing him. Like he was some sort of lab experiment. He hated it.

"And yet, I...I don't know anymore." That much was true—his relationship with Lelouch had been torn beyond repair after Euphemia's death, even during their final days together. "For the longest time, I hated him more than anything. His crimes were unforgivable."

_Unforgivable._ The word played back in his head on a loop. He thought there would have been more time. A way to get the real truth on why he had killed her. Maybe find a way to reconcile after the fighting had ended.

He was a fool to have waited until it was too late. "Now he's gone because of me."

"Didn't you two plan this together?" C.C. said. "You were his sword. And a sword isn't restricted to just a weapon; it can also be a symbol for justice. Both of you knew that."

"I know. It doesn't make things easier." His gaze fell to the floor. "It was because of our 'justice' that Lelouch paid with his life. Now, my hands will always be stained with his blood."

C.C. seemed like she wanted to interrupt, but said nothing. Under the moonlight and trembling in his pajamas, he could only wonder what she thought of him. Likely as no more than some lost little boy.

"C.C.. Don't you hate me?" he said weakly.

She raised her eyebrows. "Why would I hate you?"

"I killed Lelouch." He spat it out as if it were a curse. "He was your accomplice. In the end, I'm nothing more than a murderer. I murdered my father, and then I murdered my best friend. That's all I'll ever be."

"Suzaku. That was the second Geass Lelouch cast upon you, wasn't it?" she asked cautiously, avoiding his question a second time. "This was to be your sacrifice as much as death was his. To remain alive, as Zero, along with your sins."

He sat back up, wiping at his eyes. He nodded stonily. "This is my punishment. I am Zero."

"So, do you regret it?"

"You asked me that earlier."

"Yes, but you didn't give me a straight answer."

Suzaku winced. There was a reason he had avoided the question. "No. I had nothing left. I was prepared to live, if that is how I must atone. But to be the one who killed him…"

His nails dug into his palms. "I wanted to be the one. To carry this burden so no else would. But now that I'm here...now, I know I won't ever find peace."

He fell back against the wall. At the very least, there was one good thing about being Zero: he no longer had to be Suzaku Kururugi. The Eleven who betrayed his country, the man who stabbed friend, family and foe. The one way he could disappear without somehow taking his own life.

His gaze traveled to the mask of Zero, tossed carelessly beside his bed. Although he loathed what it stood for, the costume held a fragment of something—a spark or a connection, maybe?—that eased him. It was probably his imagination, he knew, but wearing the outfit made him feel...closer to Lelouch, in a way. As if he could imagine him standing there, smiling, teasing him for being distraught over something as "minuscule" as his own death.

As silly as it was, it was the only comfort he had left.

A delicate hand on his shoulder made him jolt back. C.C. was beside him, watching him intently. "You loved Lelouch, didn't you, Suzaku?" she asked gently.

He shook his head. "Of course I did. He was my best fri—"

"No," she interrupted. "I mean, you truly were in love with him, weren't you?"

She had phrased it as no more than a simple question. Yet he shot back up, the color draining from his face. "I...no, that's not—"

"Not what?"

"That's not true! Lelouch, he was...I mean—"

"Relax, Kururugi." C.C. sat down beside him, their shoulders barely touching. The moonlight shone on her skin, making her seem paler than usual. "There's no need to hide it, you know. I've known for a while now."

Suzaku felt his face flush as he looked away, grimacing. How could the witch have suspected? He had not told anyone of his true feelings, not even Nunnally. And after Lelouch's death, he had planned to take the secret with him to his grave. Had it been that obvious all along?

"How did you find out?" he mumbled.

"You're not as clever as you seem, White Death," she said. Was she...teasing him? Now? "I found out before the Zero Requiem began. Everything fell into place."

"What do you mean?" he demanded, flustered. "What fell into place?"

"Why you hated him so much. Why you still loved him, even after you hated him. Why you had to be the one to kill him. Not Sayoko. Not Jeremiah. Not me." Her voice became hushed. "Even though you knew it would hurt you the most."

"I…"

He fell into silence before he could finish. "It doesn't matter now," he mumbled weakly instead. The truth only made him feel more broken. "There's nothing I can do. How I feel won't change anything. He's gone, C.C."

"Oh?” C.C. suddenly stood up, as if preparing to leave. She shot Suzaku a sideways glance. "What if I told you there was?" she asked, a glint in her amber eyes.

"C.C., I know you like playing games, but this is—"

"I'm being serious," she interrupted. There was something about the way she spoke that was enough to convince him. "You didn’t think I came here just to check on you, did you?"

He stared. "Well..."

"You have a role to fulfill, Suzaku Kururugi." She walked to the door, her feet making little to no noise on the wooden floor. "Now that I know you're invested, I can move forward."

"Move forward with what?" He got up as well, agitated. "What are you talking about, C.C.?"

"I'll let you know when I'm ready," she replied. "In the meantime, rest up. You look terrible."

“H-Hey, wait!" Suzaku called out as she swung the door open. "You're just going to leave me with that? Where are you going?"

He rushed forward to stop her. Until she glanced back with a smirk, halting him in his tracks. "I'll be in touch with you soon," she said. "Get some sleep, Suzaku."

She turned back. "Oh, and happy anniversary," she added lightheartedly.

Before he could protest further she had vanished into the night, the wind enshrouding her under their cover before slamming the door closed. Suzaku slowly lowered his outstretched hand, remained frozen for what felt like an eternity. _What just happened? Is this all some sort of dream?_ he wondered. _What plan was she talking about?_

He squeezed his temples, trying to ward off the building headache. Lelouch could be brought back. He could see him again. Alive. So why was he not ecstatic, or even relieved? The thought of it made his heart race, but after C.C. had left him with nothing to go off of…

Damn it, _what_ was going on?

Empty minutes passed. Finally, he released a sigh and flopped back onto the bench. Every part of him suddenly felt exhausted beyond measure. Nothing about her plan seemed reliable, but with no other options, he supposed he would have to trust her. For now, at least. Annoyed as he was, he couldn't say he was surprised. It was just like C.C. for her to appear and disappear at the worst possible times, the damned witch.

Shaking his head, his eyes traveled back to the window, watching the stars in the sky. A small but sad smile danced on his lips.

"Happy anniversary, Lelouch," he murmured softly before passing out.


	2. A Glimmer of Faith

"_In their heart, everyone has faith that their victory exists." _— _C.C._

* * *

Suzaku pulled back the curtains. Sunlight filtered through the glass panes. Although he had initially expected someplace far worse, Nunnally had chosen the perfect spot for them to call home. The surrounding woods provided more than enough cover, and the hidden routes gave him everything he needed to stay in contact with his connections in Britannia.

He glanced out, but there was nothing of interest. No trace of a white straitjacket, nor a glimpse of bright green hair. His eyes narrowed. Months had passed since C.C.'s visit, and he had yet to experience a good night's sleep since then. With each passing day, he felt more like a balloon about to pop under the slightest amount of pressure. How much longer was he supposed to sit and wait around for something to happen? He hated not being able to take action, or at least plan a—

"Good morning, Suzaku!"

Suzaku flinched. As he turned around, a smile quickly spread across his cheeks. "Good morning, Nunnally," he said, forcing himself to sound calm. "Did you get a good night's sleep?"

She was mostly dressed for the day, already bearing the officiated Britannian robes of royalty. Around her neck was her butterfly pin, along with a replica of Lelouch's locket, dangling from its center. Her posture was firm, and so was the look in her eyes. It was an image that Suzaku, at least during his Ashford Academy days, would once never have imagined possible.

She gave a brief nod, smiling sheepishly. "I tried, but I was too nervous. I guess I'm still not used to being Empress. I can't even get my hair to look nice by myself!"

"Well, that's why I'll be there," he reassured, walking up to her. He began pushing her back towards the bedroom. "And Schneizel and Cornelia, too. There's nothing to worry about."

"I know," she said, as they reached a stop before her dresser. "But I'm afraid. I don't want to make mistakes, and it's such a big responsibility!"

Suzaku reached down, taking her hand in his own. "Hey. I've got you, Nunnally," he said, squeezing lightly. "Remember, I'll be right next to you the whole time."

She let out a breath, the tension in her shoulders easing up. "Thank you, Suzaku," she said, glancing over her shoulder. Her expression was filled with gratitude. "Where would I be without you?"

"Oh, come now." He waved her question aside as he reached for the hairbrush on her dresser. "You'd be fine without me. You're a lot stronger than you know."

He began running the brush through her tan-colored hair, combing through and untangling the messy locks. Though he hid it well, some part of him was indeed afraid, as they all secretly were. Nunnally was definitely stronger than before, but not invincible. One false move, and the entire foundation of peace that they had so painstakingly built up would crumble and fall apart.

He can't let that happen. For Nunnally's sake. And not in Lelouch's memory.

"There. All done," he said, pulling back his hand. "Does it look okay?"

Nunnally eagerly reached for her mirror by the dresser. She let out a small giggle. "Suzaku, you missed an entire section," she said, pointing towards the back. "See?"

He glanced. "Oh! Sorry," he mumbled, moving to fix it. "I've usually bad at this sort of thing."

"That's alright," she replied cheerfully. "My brother wasn't great at this either."

For a moment, Suzaku froze. It was rare for Nunnally to mention her older brother. They both knew the loss had been as painful for her as it was for him.

He proceeded to continue, though it was more difficult to focus on the task at hand. Some part of him was wary to ask Nunnally for her opinion, and yet, since she had brought him up…

"Say, Nunnally," he blurted out, "can I ask you something?"

"Of course, Suzaku. What is it?"

He hesitated. "It's about Lelouch," he added.

Immediately, she tensed back up. "What do you want to know?" Though her voice sounded welcoming, there was a hint of suspicion underneath.

"Well, it's just…"

Suzaku fell silent, trying to find the right words. "Was Lelouch a good brother to you?" he finally asked.

Though Nunnally paused at first, she nodded. "Yes," she said. "Even when he was Zero, he looked after me when he could. He told me stories and cared for me when I was sick. Whatever he did, he tried to make me happy. I was lucky to be his sister." She looked away. "_Am_ lucky to be his sister," she corrected.

"He sounded like a good brother," Suzaku said. "I'm not surprised—he cared so much about you."

"He was." Her voice was bittersweet. "Without him, I wouldn't have survived. He had his shortcomings, of course, but I'm grateful for him.

"Do you mean his Geass?" Suzaku pressed on. "I know you didn't approve of his methods."

Nunnally straightened up. "Suzaku, I thought we were talking about him as my brother?"

Suzaku's brushing came to a stop. He bit his lip. "Ah...yes, of course. I'm sorry, Your Majesty."

She shook her head. "No, it's alright. If you wish to know, I shall answer."

"Are you sure? I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

She glanced at the framed picture of Lelouch, resting on her nightstand. A timeless look crossed her face, one that spoke of a deep sorrow. "No, it's all right," she repeated. "Every time we talk about it, it makes things easier."

Her hand closed into a fist around the mirror's handle. "But you are correct. I couldn't forgive him for that," she said, with more passion than Suzaku had expected. "Or rather, I still don't. People are not pawns to be used and thrown away."

"Even if it's for the greater good?" Suzaku pondered as he continued, lifting a section of her hair.

"Even if it's for the greater good," she affirmed. "There are better ways for us to achieve our goals. Ways that don't lead to corruption. If Geass is an example of what we must resort to, then we as a people have lost sight of what really matters."

Suzaku smiled. "You have such a compassion for others," he said warmly. "I've always admired that about you."

Her posture relaxed. "Why do you ask, Suzaku?" she wondered, sounding a great deal lighter than before. "Do you miss Lelouch?"

"Oh, no real reason. I was mostly curious how Lelouch was as a brother, that's all. I only saw him as a friend. Or as Zero. Or as a schoolmate." He internally kicked himself. Lying to Nunnally always made him feel awful inside.

"Oh!" She began blushing slightly. "I see. I...I'm sorry I was so difficult. I must have assumed incorrectly. If there's anything else you wish to know..."

"No need." His smile grew wider. "In fact, I think you just proved yourself wrong. You know how to lead with the kindness of your heart. You would make a fine leader."

The color in her cheeks intensified. "Suzaku…" she mumbled.

"There, it's finished," he said, backing away. "How does it look now?"

Nunnally lifted the mirror again. She let out a small gasp. "Oh, it looks beautiful," she whispered, her eyes shimmering with joy. "Suzaku, thank you so much!"

From the mirror's reflection, she saw Suzaku give a small, yet dramatic, bow. "Of course, Your Majesty."

* * *

As he stood behind Nunnally's wheelchair, Suzaku was finding it increasingly difficult to not fall asleep on the spot. Their monthly meetings with the United Federation of Nations often ran under the same structure: the leaders presented issues, compromises would be reached, and Zero mostly just stood watch as Nunnally's personal guard, only pitching the occasional suggestion here and there.

He was glad the mask hid just how exhausted he was, especially before the entire council. It did not help that politics were not his strong suit—the constant negotiations back and forth were too overwhelming for him. He was a soldier first, and his heart belonged on the battlefield, not within the conference rooms. But thanks to the Zero Requiem, he may never step foot in another Knightmare again.

He wasn't sure if he should feel grateful or disappointed.

On the opposite end, Tohdoh slammed his fist into the round table. "The districts are looking up, yes," he insisted in answer to…what was he answering again, exactly? Suzaku couldn't remember; he must have dozed off without realizing. Tohdoh continued on, "But Area 11 in particular is struggling to make ends meet. With a few more allocations, we could—"

"What exactly are you asking for, Sir Tohdoh?" Cornelia interjected, her eyes hardening. "Japan is not the only country struggling. Britannia is trying to rebuild as well. The policy we set last year laid clear implications for division of resources among the Eastern countries."

"I am well aware, Lady Cornelia, but we need—"

"Is Area 11 not filled with capable workers?" Schneizel implored, sitting to the right of Nunnally. "From what I recall, there is better quality of life after we agreed to funding hospital restoration. Increasing rates of participation—or requiring that citizens work a certain rate—may be a more reasonable solution."

"We considered that," Ohgi chimed in. He placed a hand on Tohdoh's shoulder, reining him back. "But the Japanese are focused on rebuilding their families and communities. We didn't want to take that away from them."

"So. You are asking for a share from Britannia, is that it?" Cornelia sounded as if she were interrogating a prisoner. "You realize this is in violation of—"

"Come now, Lady Cornelia," Lady Kaguya called out cheerfully. Suzaku nearly shook his head. His cousin had a knack for diffusing tense situations, whether they called for it or not. "Surely we can lend to a partner country in need? In fact, China would do the same thing. Isn't that right, Xing-ke?"

Though he had remained tight-lipped, Xing-ke cracked a forced smile. "Of course," he muttered. "That is, were we not caught up in a strict trade agreement with India."

"That's right!" Kaguya turned back to Cornelia, either oblivious to or ignoring her expression. She held out her arm in a grand gesture. "We're all working together as friends, aren't we?"

Cornelia's eyes narrowed. "Well, I wouldn't go that far…"

"Oh, lighten up, sister." Schneizel rested his chin between his hands. "After all, a nation is nothing if its disciples cannot keep up. And a unity is only as strong as the strength of its members."

Cornelia glared at him. Even with her knowledge of Schneizel being under Geass, she had little patience for his antics. "Don't try and use your idealist gibberish now," she snapped. "What are you implying? Out with it."

"Perhaps we can reach a compromise. We will provide the resources, but only if Japan promises to help us in return."

Tohdoh scowled. "And what does Britannia want with us?"

But before anyone could find out, Suzaku felt a tap on the shoulder. A young soldier stood before him, hunched over. "Master Zero. I have something to present to you." He held out a small piece of paper, covered in loopy handwriting.

Suzaku took it with a nod of thanks, then rapidly gestured for him to leave. The soldier gave another bow before slipping out of the room, silently enough for the UFN members to remain engrossed in discussion, much to Suzaku's relief; Kaguya in particular tended to be overly curious. He quickly lowered the paper behind Nunnally's chair and read it over before anyone would notice.

_Meet me in the garden immediately._

His heart dropped like a stone. With shaking fingers, Suzaku slipped the note inside his robes, then placed a hand on Nunnally's shoulder. He leaned in, whispering to her, "I'm afraid I must take leave, Your Majesty. This is for an emergency."

Nunnally turned back, her eyes wide. "Su—I mean, Zero. Where are you going?"

"I won't be gone for long. I promise." He gave her a reassuring squeeze. "Will you be alright if I leave you here?"

Though she faltered, Nunnally gave him a firm nod. "I will," she said with as much conviction as possible. "Do as you must. Just come back soon, alright?"

"As you wish."

Suzaku straightened up, then made to head out the door. The last words he distinctly heard came from Nunnally, behind him. "My knight, Zero, must temporarily remove himself for an immediate emergency. I apologize for the sudden turn of events."

As Suzaku closed the door, he just managed to make out the commotion. "What? Where is he going? Why?" he heard Kaguya questioning loudly through the walls.

_Sorry about this, Nunnally_, he thought, wishing he could push his guilt aside as he made his way down the hall.

* * *

By the time he had arrived at the Exelica Garden, Suzaku was out of breath. His fatigue had all but disappeared, replaced by an uneasiness that left him on edge. No one aside from Zero and the royal family had access to the garden grounds, at least not without special permissions. If this really was C.C., then how in the world did she get in?

As he stepped past the gilded doors, a sense of nostalgia overcame him. It truly had been a while, for not since his conversation with Lelouch had he returned to the gardens alone. Luckily, the lush glades of grass and clusters of trees were as beautiful as he remembered. Butterflies flew from flower to flower, their wings fluttering over the calm of the water by the gazebo. The soft chirp of hummingbirds filled his ears—a much needed change after the hours of arguing.

He headed first towards the gazebo, following the white-stoned path. But he was only met with disappointment; there was no one there. Trying to locate C.C. elsewhere gave him a view (albeit, a satisfying one) of the towering trees and bright flowers, sprinkled between blades of grass. "C.C?" he called out. "I'm here! Where are you, you damn witch?"

No response. His eyebrows furrowed together. How strange—it was unlike her to be late.

A hollow sensation filled the pit of his stomach. What if it had not been C.C. at all? Had he been tricked into coming here? Was Nunnally in danger?

"So. We meet again."

He whirled around, one hand reaching for the sword in his belt. Standing on the other side of the gazebo was a familiar woman, her hair a dull shade of crimson. The student's uniform she wore did not align with the fire in her eyes, one belonging to that of a warrior.

Suzaku blanched. He had never been more grateful for the mask, and how it hid his emotions from view. "Kallen?" he said. "What are you doing here? Did you—?"

"I brought her here." As if out of thin air, C.C. had materialized from behind a tree, her white straitjacket blinding under the sun. She stepped before him, blocking his view of her. "Welcome back, Zero. It's been a while."

"C.C.? Why didn't you come out when I asked?"

"You called me a damn witch. Rudely, I might add."

"B-but…" he stammered, backing up slowly. "Why is Kallen here? She doesn't..."

"I already know," Kallen said. Just as blunt as he remembered. "I know who you are, Zero. Or should I say, _Suzaku Kururugi_."

His footsteps stop as he nearly stumbled._ But how? _"C.C., did you tell her about my identity?" he demanded. "Does anyone else know?!"

"Relax. I didn't tell her anything she wasn't already aware of," C.C. answered, deadpan. "It's not that difficult to figure out."

"That doesn't make this any better!" He lunged out, grabbing her by the arm, her steady composure rattling him further. Didn't she understand the consequences? "We can't just have people figuring out who Zero is!"

"Calm down, Kururugi," Kallen called out. Her condescending smile pricked at him, like a thorn in his side. "I haven't said a word. After all, we're on the same team now, aren't we?"

Under the mask, he made a noise of frustration. Of course Kallen, out of all people, would have figured it out. The Black Ace had a knack for being quick on her feet, in battle or otherwise. It was one of the reasons he both hated and respected her. That, along with her undying loyalty to the man he loved.

"And the Requiem?"

"I realized it on my own," she answered. "What Lelouch had planned. Why he did it."

"So if you knew and came anyway, you must feel the same way we do."

"Indeed," C.C. chimed in. "All of us hold the same convictions. Either we bring Lelouch back, or we fall together." She brushed his hand off. "The conditions remain the same. Only six people know of Zero's identity. And three of them are here right now."

Suzaku remained unconvinced. "So what about the other three?"

"Both Jeremiah and Sayoko are committed," she said. "The only person not involved is the Empress."

"Wait a minute. Jeremiah?" Suzaku's voice betrayed his surprise. "As in Sir Orange? Didn't he retire to the farms with Anya?"

"His loyalty to the royal family supersedes the life he lives now," she said. "When we spoke, it was clear that he, too, wishes for Lelouch to return."

"And Sayoko? I thought she disappeared."

C.C. raised her eyebrows. "You sound surprised. You know that's her job, right? She is literally a ninja."

Suzaku could hear Kallen snickering off to the side. He scowled. Lelouch must have had the patience of a saint.

"To answer your question, she's been serving as an assistant and guardian at Ashford Academy," C.C. continued. "But once she heard about our plans—"

"Before we move on, can't you take off your mask first, Zero?" Kallen was now approaching them. She stepped past C.C. and went up to Suzaku, her hand extended. The gesture was far from welcoming. "We all know who you are here."

Suzaku tensed up. "I hardly see how that's relevant."

She came to a stop. "You're right. It's not," she said, her eyes suddenly filled with scorn. "But I can't stand seeing someone as undeserving as you carry the title. It makes me sick."

"You have no idea why I'm doing this." Suzaku's hand instinctively reached for the sword's hilt. He could feel Lelouch's command already alerting him, which was mildly surprising. Kallen did not seem like much of a threat. "Let it go, Kallen."

"I refuse to work with someone who degrades Zero's legacy. You of all people know nothing about honor!"

Her hands curled into fists. "Take it off, Kururugi."

Suzaku dropped into a fighting stance, like an arched bow preparing to fire. "I'm warning you, Kallen. I don't want to spill blood in these gardens."

"Neither do I." The look Kallen gave him was one of loathing. "I won't repeat myself. Remove your mask, before I make you remove it."

Suzaku's jaw clenched. "You dare to—"

"My goodness," C.C. called out loudly. They turned around. She stood in the flower beds behind them, surrounded by waves of pastel shades and colors. She knelt down to pluck a lily in bloom, the petals as white as chalk.

"Both of you should learn to stop and smell the roses," she remarked. Holding it up, she took a gentle sniff. "Besides, do you think this is what Lelouch would have wanted? His two closest confidants to fight in his own home?"

_Lelouch._ Suzaku came back to his senses. “Kallen, stop this," he commanded. C.C. was right. If they fought now, they would only be dirtying his final wish. He sheathed the sword back into his belt. "You know better than to do this here."

She glared in response. Then, following a deep breath, her hands unclenched. Shining in her right palm was the handle of a switchblade, emblazoned with the symbol of Japan.

_So that's what the Geass detected_, Suzaku thought as he stared. _And it knew about the danger before I did. This power...it's stronger than I imagined._

"...Fine. But only because of Lelouch," she spat out. "This isn't over, Kururugi."

"Perfect." C.C. spoke before they could continue. "Now that you're best friends, we can start the plan."

"Plan for what, exactly?" Kallen shouted. Her hostility reminded Suzaku of Arthur with intruders. "You didn't even tell me the details."

"So why did you come along then, Kallen?" C.C. sounded like she was smiling.

"Because you told me this involved Lelouch," she retorted, "and I took your word for it. Don't make me regret trusting you."

Off to the side, Suzaku shook his head. Threatening C.C. wouldn't get them anywhere. The witch was immortal; she had nothing to be afraid of. But instead of firing back, C.C. silently walked past them and beyond the gazebo. She continued further, down the stairway, until she had reached the lowest platform by the edge of the river, the water only inches away from her straitjacket.

She sat down with a sigh. Her gaze followed the path of the lotus flowers, drifting slowly in full bloom. Coated in shades of bright pink, their fragile beauty reminded Suzaku so much of the candles that had once graced the pool of the Fuji Mausoleum. He still remembered his sending off of Euphie's candle, his tribute to their love and in honor of her memory. The sight of hundreds of flame, all lighting up the darkness in harmony, was not one he would soon forget.

_Euphie. This is what you would have wanted, right?_ he thought, saddened._ A world where the four of us could have lived in harmony. Us, Lelouch and Nunnally. I promise, this is for the future we wished for. Together._

"The path you two will walk...I cannot promise where it may lead you," C.C. said. Though she sounded calm, her words carried a grave threat. "Are you both prepared for what lies ahead? Even if it goes against what Lelouch wanted?"

Kallen stepped forward. "You know that I am," she declared without a moment's hesitation. "As long as you promise me results."

"Your dedication is impressive, Kallen," C.C. remarked. "You truly were his most loyal soldier."

"That's not it." Her shoulders were set. "Lelouch still owes me some answers. I'll drag him out of the depths of Hell myself if I have to."

"I am prepared as well," spoke Suzaku, joining her. All of his misgivings seemed to have disappeared, as they often did when it came to Lelouch. "Tell us the plan, C.C."

C.C. chuckled, continuing to watch herself in the water. Her reflection was that of a young girl, but they all knew the depths of her experiences extended far beyond her seemingly youthful appearance, beyond the limits of human comprehension. She dipped a finger in, warping her picture with the ripples.

"I'll never understand that man," she muttered under her breath. "How he managed to make the two of you fall for him."

"What did you say?"

"Oh, nothing." She stood back up. "If you both are ready, then we can begin. We make for The Island of the Gods in forty-eight hours."

Kallen raised her eyebrows. "The Island of the Gods? The place where Suzaku and I got washed up years ago?"

"Correct," C.C. said, walking back up the steps. "The Thought Elevator there holds a very special importance to our goal. We'll have to activate it first."

Her response only made Kallen more confused. "The Thought Elevator?" she blurted. "What is that? How is it supposed to help us?"

"Suzaku can fill you in on everything that happened." Her answer did not seem to satisfy Kallen at all. Nor Suzaku. "Ask him."

Right upon joining them, she began striding off in the opposite direction. "Jeremiah will be in touch with you both shortly. I recommend you start preparing."

"Wait, C.C.!" Suzaku cried.

She stopped, though she did not turn around. Regardless, he continued. "This won't work. You were there—the entrance into the Thought Elevator on Kamine Island was destroyed after we went in. And there's no way of using it now, not after we ruined the Sword of Akasha."

Kallen stared back and forth. "Sword of Akasha? What sword?"

"You are correct, Suzaku," C.C. said, ignoring her. "And you are right to assume so. But you're forgetting something."

When she looked back, the sigil on her forehead seemed to be glowing. Suzaku recoiled. It must have been a trick from the sunlight. Unless…

"I was also a part of Marianne's and Charles' plan." The corners of her mouth lifted up, as if teasing a secret. "Which means I know how to use the Sword, with or without them."

"But you need two codes to make it work, and you're the only one here who's capable!"

"Who said I wanted to make it work?" C.C. said. "The access is all we need."

Under the mask, Suzaku blinked. "Access?"

"Don't worry too much about it." Before he could figure it out, C.C. was making for the exit again. "Just meet me there, and I'll explain then."

Suzaku made a noise of complaint. "H-Hold on! That's what you said to me before!" he exclaimed. "You can't keep leaving without explaining yourself! And what do we do about Zero? What should I tell Nunnally?"

"I don't see an issue," C.C. remarked, now in the distance. "There's nothing more you need to know at the moment. Besides, I'm sure you'll figure something out—you are the Knight of Zero, aren't you?"

She soon reached the opposite end of the garden, making to pull open the heavy gilded doors. The sight of it perplexed Suzaku. Wasn't security waiting on the other side? Why were they not interfering?

"I'll see you both there," she emphasized again, standing by the doorway. "And don't be late."

She was gone. Just like before, she had vanished in a moment's notice. Once again, he had no idea what to expect. Knowing Nunnally, he would have to pull a miracle to explain this without making her upset. And now there was Kallen to deal with, not to mention Kamine Island too. He felt his blood turning cold. He had never expected to set foot on the island again, not after Lelouch had destroyed the last remnants of Geass. Of all the places...

"Suzaku." Kallen's voice from behind, sharp as a knife, nearly made him flinch. "You have a lot of explaining to do."

Suzaku shook his head in bewilderment. "Yes, I suppose I do," he muttered unwillingly, still staring after C.C. "Where do you want to start?"


	3. On the Road to Hell

"_A remaining piece of hope, a faint sign of wishes, will be born from despairs." — C.C._

* * *

The faint chirping of crickets could be heard outside. His time to prepare was running out.

Suzaku ran a hand over everything on his mattress. According to Jeremiah's info, they shouldn't be gone for long if the mission turned out successful. There was Zero's outfit and sword, the key to the Lancelot, an extra bundle of clothes, and Euphemia's hairpin—the last memento of hers he owned. A worry pricked the back of his head. He had the feeling he was forgetting something, though he could not place his finger on what.

And then there was the issue of his letter, still eagerly waiting to be finished. Guilt tore at his insides. Two hours later and he had yet to wrap up his thoughts. But an inner voice told him it did not matter—regardless of what he wrote, Nunnally would never forgive him.

He glanced at the clock on the wall. Only a few more minutes until Jeremiah was set to arrive. Only a few more minutes until he left on what was basically a suicide mission.

_"If the mission turned out successful." Not when. If._

A sobering thought overcame him: if they failed, then this would likely be the last time he ever stepped foot in the cabin. Which meant the last time he ever saw Nunnally would have been a few hours ago, back at Pendragon.

The guilt inside of him intensified. The goodbye in his letter would have to be enough.

"Greetings, Master Kururugi." Sayoko had appeared out of nowhere, waiting by the entrance. She was dressed in her usual maid attire, her hands crossed before her. "We are proceeding as planned. The Empress is on track to arrive in thirty minutes, and Sir Jeremiah is on his way now. There should be no conflict between routes."

"Perfect." He gave her a single nod. "Thank you, Sayoko. Your loyalty means more to me than you know."

"It is my pleasure." She smiled. "Are you prepared to depart?"

His eyes traveled to the sheet of paper on the table. He bit his lip. "Nearly," he said. "There's only one more matter I need to attend to."

She followed his line of sight. "A letter?"

"I wrote it to Nunnally. I'm not sure how to finish it."

"Well, what do you wish to say to Miss Nunnally?"

"There's much I want to say." He began rocking back and forth, the floorboards creaking. "But I don't know how to say everything."

"Such as what, if I may ask?"

"That I wish I could see her one more time. That I'm sorry for leaving her like this. That I'm sorry I lied about her brother, how I felt about him." His movements came to a stop. "But mostly that I'm sorry I won't be here for her anymore."

"Won't be here for her anymore?"

"I don't know if I'll return from this, Sayoko." His face creased with pain. "And if I don't come back, I will have failed to protect her. She needs me."

"Is that all, Master Kururugi?" She entered the cabin, approaching him. "You have nothing to worry about. I shall deliver your message to her myself, if you so wish."

"You...you will?"

"Of course. And you can apologize to her all you want after your return."

"Sayoko…" Suzaku shook his head. The dying rays were casting their final glow, bathing them in gold. "I appreciate it, but we know there's a strong chance I won't make it out."

"You will." Her smile vanished. A glint began to sparkle in her eye—could it be from the sunlight? "You will come back to us, Master Kururugi."

"Sayo—"

"You_ will_ return." The sincerity in her voice startled him. Sayoko was usually so genial; it was rare to see her talk back. "The world is waiting for you, Zero. You will be successful, and you will bring Master Lelouch back to us. I know you will."

His eyes grew wide. "I…"

"Empress Nunnally and I will await your return. You need not worry about her, I promise. But please, make sure you come home safely." She took a step back, the moment ending as quickly as it had begun. "For all of us."

Suzaku caught his breath, her words followed by silence. Never had he heard a servant speak so bluntly to the master they served. Especially Sayoko, who always fought and obeyed without question.

I_'m not just fighting for myself anymore,_ he realized._ Nunnally, Sayoko, Jeremiah, even C.C.. They're all depending on me to stay alive, to bring him back._ Perhaps that was why Sayoko had kept his identity secret, why she had agreed to this. So that he could continue his role in keeping the world, and now Lelouch, safe.

He straightened up, crossing an arm before his chest in salute. He would not give himself the opportunity to let them down. Not this time. "Very well. I shall return, and with Lelouch," he declared. "You have my word as Zero."

The look in Sayoko's eyes disappeared, replaced by her usual motherly warmth. "Thank you, Master Kururugi," she said gratefully. "I do wish to apologize if I overstepped my privileges."

"No, of course not." He placed a hand on her shoulder. "Please protect Nunnally, Sayoko. I hope to see her again, now that I know I am returning."

"Yes, Your Highness." She gave a small bow. "With my life."

A shriek whistle pierced through the air. Suzaku jumped back, startled. "What was that?" he said. "Is he here already?"

He made towards the window, pulling the curtains aside. The dying sunset was a warm gradient, a smear of burning gold against the shaking foliage. Leaves and branches scattered to the floor, the sound of hooves growing louder with each passing second. He could have sworn the ground was trembling.

"So that must have been the signal."

"Yes." Sayoko joined his side. "It seems Sir Jeremiah has arrived."

With a final shudder, the surrounding forest parted ways for a carriage pulled by two marvelous steeds. The vehicle was pure white, embellished with gold markings and emblazoned with the emblem of Britannia. Sitting at the helm was a man in a white buttoned shirt and farmers overalls, an orange mask covering one of his eyes.

"That is most definitely Sir Jeremiah," she said in amusement, watching him brandish his whip with glee. "He was incredibly eager for this entire ordeal. Apparently, playing coachman was once a fantasy of his."

"I see." He drew back from the window. "I suppose that's my cue to head out."

He moved toward the bed, preparing to scoop up his belongings. But right as he reached for Zero's cloak, his hand froze in midair.

"Is everything alright, Master Kururugi?" Sayoko inquired from behind.

"Yes. I just had an idea." He pulled the cloak up in his arms. "You should hold on to these, Sayoko."

Her mouth dropped. "Me? But…"

"Nunnally's protector is Zero, and you are her protector now. Please, look after her with this. If Zero disappears without warning, people will start to notice." He pushed it towards her ever-so-slightly. "Take it."

A booming voice interrupted them. "Greetings, my Britannian heathens!" Jeremiah decreed from beyond the front door, and with great relish. "Your royal carriage awaits! Presented by none other than I, the brilliant Sir Orange himself!"

Suzaku narrowed his eyes. "Please ignore him."

Sayoko giggled slightly. "Well, if this is a direct order from Zero himself…"

"It is." He held out the cloak a second time. "Please, Sayoko. It's better if this stays with you than with me."

"I suppose it cannot be helped." She accepted it with a small nod. "Thank you, Master Kururugi. I shall watch after the Empress and bear these with pride. You have my word."

"I know." Suzaku quickly gathered up the rest of his belongings, leaving the mask untouched atop his bed sheets. He could see his reflection within the helmet's gleam, the portrait of a driven soldier. "I shall see you again. It's a promise."

* * *

The woods were dense, and the lack of light had left Suzaku worried, but Jeremiah had turned out to be an effective coachman after all. The trip had remained surprisingly free of disaster, aside from a few bumps in the road. The farmer had even turned out to be a constant source of conversation, happily sharing stories of his experiences on the orange farm. He and Anya—who also sent her regards to Zero and the Empress—had apparently grown close, forming a bond that resembled those of siblings. Surprisingly, she had adjusted to a farmer's life quite well, and Jeremiah had never felt more fulfilled than from seeing the literal fruits of their labor.

"That is, before I see His Majesty again!" Jeremiah had announced joyously. "You do not know how long I've waited for this day, Kururugi."

"Really, Jeremiah?" Suzaku had asked, half paying attention, distracted by the fireflies swarming around their cart. He had not seen one in years, not since his childhood back in Japan. "I thought you enjoyed being a farmer."

"Ah, I have. But what I really long for is a chance to carry out the will of my Emperor." He had cracked his whip forcefully, as if to make a statement. "You see, I knew one day that he would return. And when he did, I would be there to prove my loyalty! All hail Britannia!"

He had let out a laugh, striking the horses to gallop faster. Right as Suzaku had fallen silent, his pained expression caught under the illumination of the fireflies. _At least one of us is excited, _he thought. If only he could have felt as positive about the whole thing.

They had eventually arrived at an open clearing following another downhill trek (He had lost count of the winding paths). The woods opened up to a patch of flat dirt, surrounded by pine trees that reached up to the stars. Jeremiah had driven the horses to the center before reining them to a stop. "Come along now, Kururugi," he now said, hopping out. "We've arrived."

"We have?" Suzaku glanced around. All he could see were more trees. Roots and vines crawled along the ground. Nearby stood an entanglement of fallen tree trunks, forming a makeshift barrier. "But there's nothing here."

Jeremiah chuckled. "So it seems."

As if nothing were out of the ordinary, he approached the entanglement, pulling out a large knife.

"Jeremiah, what are you doing?!" Suzaku hissed.

"Watch and learn, my dear Zero."

He began to slash repeatedly, hacking at a portion of the wall. Pieces of vine rained down like sparks from clashing metal. It was not long before the structure began to give way, a jagged crack splitting down.

"There it is!" Jeremiah muttered excitedly, sweat dripping down his forehead. "I knew I'd find you again!"

"Wait! Is this really necessary?" Suzaku swept over their surroundings, alarmed. "With all this noise, someone might catch us!"

"It should...be...somewhere…here!"

Jeremiah pulled with all his might, the stretch of bark bursting apart. Suzaku could see fallen branches within, haphazardly thrown together to create a makeshift tent of sorts. Inside was a massive machine, barely able to fit inside the walls, coated with dirt and dead leaves.

He gasped. "Is that a Knightmare?" he said, awestruck. "How do you have one? Britannia strictly forbids distribution unless it's an emergency!"

"You forget, Sir Kururugi, that I was once a knight of royalty." Jeremiah lowered the branches behind him as they entered. "Exceptions can be made every so often. And I told them this was for an emergency. I was not lying, was I?"

"But this is…" Suzaku approached the Knightmare, bent over in a crouched position. He ran his hand over the outer armor. "How did you hide this? And without anyone knowing?"

Jeremiah shrugged. "Anya and I kept it on the farm. If people asked questions, we told them it was for gathering produce. Though, obviously, we could not hold on to it forever. When the time was right, I dropped it off here, as per Lady C.C.'s instructions, and hid the entrance."

"C.C.?" Suzaku whirled around. "How did she know about this place?"

"I do not know. She only told me how to find it." Jeremiah came forward, glancing up with a mixture of admiration and longing. "Ah, to drive a machine like this again...I'd forgotten what it felt like. But they provided me with an older model, I'm afraid; I was informed this was an extra unit."

Suzaku examined it over. The machine bore a resemblance to mass-production units, back when the army had crafted them as military weapons. Its overall body was a dark blue, but the cockpit and arms were a faded red, the paint already starting to peel off. He stepped back. "Are you sure this will get us there, Jeremiah? It seems to be broken."

"But of course," he replied soundly. "I tested it myself. It holds just enough space for us and Kōzuki. I, once again, shall act as grand chariot."

"And Kallen is meeting us here?"

"No, outside Ashford Academy. After I pick her up, we fly to Kamine Island."

"Ashford?" Suzaku's voice rose to a shout, jarring against the calm of the forest. "Why Ashford? They'll see you!"

"Nonsense." Jeremiah scoffed. "Our rendezvous point is a fair distance away, and it will be quick. Besides, no one will see us in the dark. There is nothing to worry about, I promise you."

Under the darkness, Suzaku failed to make out Jeremiah's expression. "You're sure about this, Jeremiah? If either of us were caught—"

"You have my word, Zero. I would not toss away a chance to save Master Lelouch's life. Or to save yours," he tacked on at the end.

Suzaku glanced back. Aside from its condition, the Frame's construction was worrisome at best. The cockpit jutted out like a massive bruise, its arms clunky rather than streamlined, with one larger than the other. Dirt clung to its joints. Parts of its limbs seemed to be under disrepair, if not already broken. He sighed. It was during times like these that he missed his Lancelot.

His next breath was sharp. _The Lancelot._

He lowered a hand into his pilot's suit, his fingers wrapping around the key. "Jeremiah, why did you tell me to bring the key to my Lancelot?" he said. "It was destroyed, remember?"

"You're in luck." Jeremiah chuckled. "I wanted to keep it a surprise. Sir Lloyd has, in fact, been working on a prototype with Miss Cecily. Now, it's not as advanced as your old model," he added upon seeing the look on Suzaku's face, "but it's a start. I was told it would be delivered to Kamine Island, should you need it."

"The Lancelot? Rebuilt?" Suzaku stammered, as if Jeremiah had spoken in a foreign language. "B-But how? Was it in secrecy? Does this mean Lloyd knows about me? And Cécile too?!"

"That, I do not know. But regardless, let us embark!" Jeremiah waved a hand, brushing aside Suzaku's rambling questions. "Kōzuki is waiting!"

He jumped onto the Knightmare's cupped hands, preparing to open the cockpit. He gestured to Suzaku. "Come along, Kururugi! There's no time to waste!"

* * *

Suzaku had to hand it to Jeremiah; the farmer had been true to his word. Their flight to Ashford Academy (How did he even remember where the school was?) had been uninterrupted, though the Knightmare's turbulence had made him fear for his life a few times. And Kallen had indeed been ready and waiting, wearing her crimson pilot's suit.

After landing on the roof of an abandoned building, the academy resting in the distance, Jeremiah had opened the hatch. Kallen had boarded with a grateful nod. Unsurprisingly, she had ignored him. "Thank you, Sir Orange. It is good to see you again."

"Splendid of you to join us, Black Ace," Jeremiah had commented cheerfully. "And with that, we are off! To Kamine Island!"

Suzaku broke out of his thoughts. He leaned over, his nose pressed against the outer glass. At last, they were making progress across the ocean, two entire hours later. He could just make out the reflection of the moon in the gentle waters, a crescent of shimmering white. Although the Knightmare was flying at the pace of a turtle, they had definitely gotten lucky. Not only did it have enough capacity for four people, but it also came equipped with basic aerial capabilities. Given its run-down condition, he had not expected it to be capable of even basic travel.

"Almost there!" Suzaku snapped forward at Jeremiah's voice; the first voice he had heard since picking up Kallen. "We land in ten minutes."

And just like that, silence blanketed the cabin once again. As if no one had spoken. Suzaku sagged back into his seat. They were getting closer to Lelouch. The one whom he had both despised and loved for so long. The turbulence of emotions made him want to vomit.

_Lelouch...are you really there, waiting?_ His expression twisted, his hands balling into fists._ Is this what you would have wanted? To be brought back into the world you left for us? Or are we being selfish?_

He looked over. Kallen was staring off into space, leaning idly against one arm. Her usual anger had disappeared, replaced by an expression he couldn't put into words. One with hints of grief, uncertainty, maybe even regret. Something about it made Suzaku uneasy, seeing her so vulnerable.

"Say, Suzaku," she remarked, breaking the silence. It was her first time addressing him all night. Maybe she had noticed him gawking, though he sincerely hoped not. "Are we making a mistake?"

"A mistake?" he repeated, not fully understanding. "What do you mean?"

She paused. For once, it seemed like she had dropped her guard. "Are we only thinking of ourselves?" she mumbled. "What if Lelouch wouldn't want this?"

Suzaku did a double take. They were the same thoughts, the same misgivings. So he was not alone in his thinking. But Kallen had been so steadfast and stubborn back at the Exelica Garden—she was the last person he had expected to change their mind.

"I thought you wanted him back," he reminded her, "and that you would go to Hell yourself to save him."

"Yeah, that hasn't changed." She peered out at the stars, searching for an answer. "But I was so caught up with the idea, I didn't stop to think about what Lelouch might want."

It was as if he were speaking to himself. Suzaku's eyes traveled to the floor. "I wondered the same thing," he mumbled. "If this was a mistake. But it's too late to turn back now."

"I don't know the answer anymore. What's right and what's wrong." She shot him a sideways glance. A mixture of curiosity and suspicion filled her eyes. "Why do you want him back, Suzaku?"

With effort, he bit down on his tongue. Something told him that now was not the best time to reveal his true intentions. Her feelings toward Lelouch were passionate, to say the least. "Because he was my best friend," he answered, hoping she would buy into his explanation. "He doesn't deserve the legacy he has now. Besides, he should get a chance to see the world he's created."

"You really think so?"

"I do." Technically, he was not lying either. "I've missed him, Kallen. Just like you."

She snorted, though not unkindly. "That's different than what I remember. I thought you hated him. Didn't you agree to kill him, too?"

"I did," he answered steadily, pushing down the sudden flare of irritation. "You know how the Zero Requiem worked."

"So you've had a change of heart?"

"Something like that. But I would be lying if I said I had a solid answer." He wearily rubbed at his eyes before checking outside. More ocean waves. The flight to Kamine felt a lot longer than he remembered. "I do hate him. The things he did were unforgivable."

"But you miss him anyway."

"Yes. I know, it doesn't make sense."

More silence. He wondered if she had fallen asleep, or was considering whether he'd gone insane. Even he was not sure anymore. With hesitation, he looked over. To his surprise, the corners of Kallen's mouth had curled into a small smile. "No. It does make sense," she finally said. "I understand."

"Y-you do?" he stammered. "Really?"

"Mhm. It's complicated, isn't it?"

She leaned back, watching the night sky through the roof. "I was furious at Lelouch for the longest time. He used me. Used the Black Knights. But at the same time, I admired him. Without him, Japan would've remained a slave under Britannia's heel. He was our first real beacon of hope."

"Ah, right. Starting with the rebellion in Shinjuku."

"The one that changed everything." Her eyes glazed over. "I would’ve died if Zer—I mean, Lelouch didn't come. And then Japan would have lost for good. The Black Knights would’ve never existed."

"Maybe that would have been for the best," Suzaku muttered, "considering how many people were killed."

She ignored him, her expression scrunching up. "But his methods were cruel. He treated us like the pawns in his chess games. I never fully respected him as Lelouch, but I looked up to him a lot as Zero. It was…complicated."

_Complicated._ When it came to Lelouch, that sounded about right. "And has anything changed for you? Over a year later?"

She pressed her lips together. "I don't know," she admitted. "I understood why. But it was a selfish thing for him to do."

"What?" Suzaku blinked. "Selfish?"

"He left everyone behind. Nunnally, us, the students at Ashford Academy. Those of us who knew him have to carry on his legacy, while the rest of the world gets to stay naïve." She grimaced. "It's fucking hard to love someone after you've seen what they're capable of. I wish I could hate him instead."

Her last words struck him with a pang of familiarity. There were countless times when he had tried to convince himself that Lelouch was a demon, that his murder of Euphemia had warranted death on its own. But it had not been enough. No matter what, he had cared about the damn prince until the very end.

"I know the feeling," he said, his voice hollow. Something tugged at the corners of his lips. "Say, Kallen, we may not be so different."

"Don't get ahead of yourself." The sharpness in her tone had returned, though she sounded more amused than angry. "The only real thing we have in common is Lelouch. That's all."

"Of course. I wouldn't have expected any different."

Out of the corner of his eye he saw her smile as well, though she struggled to hide it. "If only Lelouch could see us now," she contemplated, shaking her head. "Or at least, before he died. Although now…"

"Now we're about to bring him back to life," he observed, finishing her thought. Saying it out loud made it sound more absurd than it already was. "How did we end up here, Kallen?"

She chuckled. "I don't know," she said. "But somehow, this mission feels…right."

"Oh?" Suzaku asked. "How so?"

As if rekindled by a match, the flame seemed to have returned to her eyes. "I don't know if this is what he would have wanted. But now, I know what I want." Her voice hardened, no longer shaking. "Lelouch needs to come back. To see the world he's made for us, if anything. We need him to come back." She held out her hand to him. "Right, Suzaku?"

Her voice was imploring, the gesture a request in and of itself. But Suzaku could only stare in disbelief. Was this _Kallen_ asking for a truce? Lelouch's right-hand soldier, the one who had tried to kill him only a few days earlier?

Though he initially paused, he wrapped his hand around hers. His handshake was firm. "Yes. We're in this together."

Kallen nodded. "Together. For Lelouch."

"Sir Kururugi. Lady Kōzuki." Jeremiah's voice made them both flinch. "Apologies for interrupting, but we are beginning our descent. Kamine Island is but a few minutes away."

Suzaku pulled away from her. "Thank you, Jeremiah."

"It was my pleasure." He glanced over his shoulder, smirking. "It's comforting to hear you and Kallen have sorted out your differences."

"Hey, it's rude to eavesdrop!" Kallen snapped.

"You have nothing to worry about, Kōzuki." The farmer sounded like he was on the verge of laughing. "Your secrets are safe with me."

She crossed her arms. "They better be. Or I'll tell Lelouch to kill you myself."

"By the way, you mentioned Ashford earlier, right, Kallen?" Suzaku brought up, eager to change the subject. "How is everybody doing? I haven't spoken to them since—"

_Since I should have died._ The thought struck him like a wrecking ball. Upon continuing he sounded marginally heavier than before. "Since, well, I became Zero."

Kallen did not seem to notice. "Oh, they're doing fine," she said. The ocean was but a short distance away now, the waves rushing to greet them. "Rivalz is following in Milly's footsteps and staying an extra year as Student Council president. He's doing well, but he's so scatterbrained. I don't know how he's going to take care of himself, honestly."

"That does sound like Rivalz," Suzaku said fondly. "And what about Nina? Is Milly still around?"

"Nina tends to keep to herself, but she's calmed down a lot since the war ended. Her and Rivalz have actually gotten really close. She's studying to become a professor one day, so she's taking on graduate courses."

"Of course she would."

Kallen grinned. "And Milly is considering working at Ashford once she moves on from reporting. Kind of like Viletta. When she has the time, she still drags us into her dumb schemes. Spying on Rivalz at the mall, dragging us to the news station, that sort of thing."

"With Gino too?" he wondered. "Isn't he studying there now?"

"Oh, him." She snorted. "Yeah, he's having a great time. Doesn't take anything seriously, skips half his classes, calls our food 'commoner's cuisine'. And brags to everyone about how he was the Knight of Three, and was destined to fight against the greatest soldier in the empire."

Suzaku clapped a hand to his forehead. "Gino…"

"It's weird, to be honest." Kallen pulled her knees up to her chin. "For him to keep talking about me like that."

"Wait, hold on," Suzaku said. "Bragging about _you_?"

"Well, yes. Who else did you think he was referring to when he said the greatest soldier in the empire?" She gave him an odd look. "He keeps joking I would've lost anyway, had we fought like planned. Hell, he even tried asking me to dinner once. Apparently it was his way of 'making up for false promises.'"

"Gino asked you out to dinner?" Suzaku sputtered, incredulous. "Gino Weinberg? The infamous womanizer?"

"Yup. That's why I said no." She rolled her eyes. "Not that that stopped him. He keeps trying to talk me into it. Giving me crap like 'you're just too scared to give it a shot'. It's kind of annoying."

Taken aback, Suzaku shook his head. Knowing Gino, that was definitely out of character. "That's actually different for him," he remarked.

"You think so?" She could not have sounded less interested. "It's just Gino being stupid, like usual."

"I mean it, Kallen. You know what kind of guy Gino is. He won't ask a girl out if he doesn't mean it." He gave her a look. "Are you interested in him too?"

"What?! No, of course not!" Kallen spat out indignantly, nearly jumping out of her seat. The slight flush in her cheeks spoke otherwise. "It's Gino, for God's sake!"

"All I'm saying is he's not such a bad guy once you get to know him better. Maybe you should—"

"Can we drop it?" Her tone indicated that she would not tolerate disagreement. "Now is not the time. We're almost at Kamine, and—"

"Actually, we're already here," Jeremiah spoke up. "Sorry to interrupt your, ahem, conversation again, but we in fact landed a little while ago."

"Wait, what?" Kallen shared a look with Suzaku, bewildered. "We did? But we're not—"

As if on cue, the hatch to their compartment flew wide open. A gust of wind battered against Suzaku, strands of chestnut hair blowing into his line of vision.

He covered his eyes, trying to squint into the darkness. Standing before them was the entrance to a colossal stone cave, the curved walls stretching tens of feet into the air. Shattered rocks and destroyed pillars, worn over time, blocked the otherwise straight path ahead. At the end of the cave glowed a familiar light, one that made his blood run cold. The bright red glimmer of Geass, pouring through the desecrated sigils on the Thought Elevator's gates.

His heart began beating at a mile a minute. It was finally time.

"Your Majesty, I have returned!" Jeremiah stood on his seat, brandishing his sword in the air as if it were a torch. The wind scattered his words into the night. "Allow me to prove my loyalty! _All hail Lelouch vi Britannia_!"


	4. Descension

_"I shall gamble on the Geass known as people's wishes. For the sake of the world's future." _— _Lelouch vi Britannia_

* * *

"So this is it." Kallen made a face as they ventured in. "I never would've imagined Geass came from this dump."

"It didn't really come from here," Suzaku corrected. "This is more of a gateway."

"A gateway to the World of C?" she asked, studiously examining their surroundings. Clusters of rocks were scattered across the ground. Aside from the broken pillars, the cave was more or less the same as before, back from when he had tried to assassinate the Emperor. "You said it was the collective human consciousness? How does that work?"

Suzaku pondered for a minute. "It's difficult to describe," he eventually said. "I'm...not sure how to put it into words. Why don't we focus on making it in first?"

"Well, that's not reassuring," she muttered, kicking a rock aside. "I don't like not knowing what to expect."

"You can expect it to be tough," he said bluntly. It was hard for him to pay attention now that Lelouch was within reach. Was he waiting for them in the World of C? Was C.C. already at the Thought Elevator? And if they saved Lelouch, what would happen next?

But before he could ponder further, Kallen had come to a stop. "Wait, Suzaku," she said. "Do you hear that?"

He perked up. "Hear what?"

"Machines." Her eyes swept over the cavern, waiting for something to jump out. "I don't think it's coming from inside the cave."

"Really?" Suzaku strained to hear for anything suspicious. He could hear noises from the forest, accompanied by the wind. And the occasional roar of ocean waves. But nothing unusual. "I don't hear it, Kallen. Are you sure you didn't imagine it?"

"Positive." She swiveled back to the entrance, watching the treetops sway in the wind. "It sounded like...almost like Knightmares descending. More than one."

"You're saying we've been found?" he blurted out. His mind began to race. Could it be the Britannian government? Schneizel or Cornelia, maybe Tohdoh? But why here, why now?

"I thought you said we wouldn't be discovered," Kallen hissed. "What kind of plan did you come up with?"

"This wasn't my idea!"

He swore under his breath. Without the Zero mask to hide behind, they had little to no options. "We'll have to hide. They can't know I'm alive!"

"Damn it, where the hell is Jeremiah?" She squinted, searching for a sign of him. "He's supposed to be guarding the entrance, but I don't see—"

"Right here."

His voice came from some distance away, off to the right of Kallen. "What are you doing, Jeremiah?" Suzaku demanded as Kallen jumped back, her hands clapped over her mouth. "Shouldn't you be watching the entrance? There are intruders!"

"Not intruders, Kururugi." He grinned. "More like an old friend."

Suzaku paused. "An old friend? Here?"

"Aha, so you _are_ alive, Suzaku!"

The familiar voice came from behind Jeremiah. It was light, airy, and filled with amusement, and caused Suzaku's jaw to drop to the floor. "It can't be. Is that you? Sir Lloyd?"

"My goodness, has it been a while! More than a year, in fact!"

The Britannian researcher took a step out from under Jeremiah's shadow. He adjusted his coat and glasses, his signature smile plastered across his face. "I knew you were too stubborn to be dead, Suzaku!" he said, opening his arms wide. "When I heard you died in battle, I asked myself, 'Suzaku? The Knight of Zero? _Defeated_?'"

"Lloyd, I'm sorry that—"

"So imagine how surprised I was when they told me you were not only alive, but also taking care of the Empress!"

"I-I…" Suzaku's eyes darted back and forth, from Jeremiah's humored expression to Lloyd's dramatic grin. "Well, you see, I…"

"Ah, and this must be Kallen Kōzuki,” Lloyd said, approaching her. He leaned forward, his face only inches away from hers. "Pilot of the Guren, and retired Ace of the Black Knights, hm? I've heard much about you."

"Oh! I, uh…" Kallen stammered, gawking back. "I mean, yes. I am Captain Kōzuki. It's, uh, nice to meet you. Sir. I'm sorry about destroying your machine."

"Oh no, the pleasure is all mine." He giggled. "Do you know how long I've wished to meet the soldier with the skill to destroy my Lancelot?"

He twirled past Kallen before she could respond, haphazardly tossing an arm over Suzaku's shoulder. "You thought you could avoid me forever, Suzaku, hmm? Well, I brought you a little gift to show how much I appreciate you staying alive!"

"Listen, Lloyd, if this is about the Lancelot—"

"Aha! So you already know!" Lloyd waved at Jeremiah. "Did you spill my secret, Orange?"

"Forgive me for breaking protocol," he said, "but I may have, ahem, accidentally told Sir Kururugi already."

"No, no, this is better than I'd hoped," Lloyd said excitedly, not picking up on the sarcasm. "Well, since you already know, Suzaku, are you ready to get back into piloting? It's been a while for you, hasn't it? Have you been getting some training in?"

"Lloyd…" Suzaku began, shaking his head. "I have so many questions. How did you build the Lancelot in secret? How did you know about me, about the island? In fact, don't you have any questions for _me_?"

"Hm? For you?" Lloyd repeated, raising his eyebrows. "No, not really. I was told you were Zero, and you plan to bring the Emperor back to life. Sounds quite clear to me. Which reminds me," he added, now facing Kallen, "you two truly are a pair, aren't you?"

"A pair?" Kallen said. "What do you mean, Sir Lloyd?"

He smiled again, but this time it seemed indicative of something heavier. A hint of apprehension. Which was odd for Lloyd, indeed. "You're both taking a great risk, you know. Are you sure this is the right idea? What will you do with your prince afterwards?"

"That's a decision for later," Kallen cut in before Suzaku could respond. "Our priority is bringing him back from the dead. We'll handle the rest when it comes."

"Action first, sensibility second, hmm? How foolishly absurd!" Lloyd let out a hearty laugh. "You soldiers haven't changed a bit!"

Suzaku pulled away from him. "Lloyd, where is the Lancelot? Isn't that why you're here?" He gestured towards the entrance. "I don't see it."

"Yes, yes, it's on it's way," Lloyd brushed aside. "In fact, it should be arriving any minute now."

"The Lancelot?" Kallen wondered. "Sir Lloyd, you've redeveloped the Lancelot? Why?"

"What a silly question! Because it was my life's work," he said cheerfully. "My absolute pride and joy. And knowing the long road ahead, you'll both need all the help you can get."

"So...you're on our side, then?" Suzaku asked, in disbelief. "You'll help us bring Lelouch back?"

"Aha, well, I never explicitly said _that_," Lloyd added nervously. "Consider me a neutral party, but with a gift. If anyone asks, you didn't get it from me."

"_Suzaku!_" A shrill voice, projected through a communications system, came from above. "Are you down there?"

Suzaku gasped. "Don't tell me that's—"

"Mm. She's finally here." Lloyd casually strolled past him, heading towards the cave's entrance. As he watched Lloyd walk away, Suzaku released a heavy sigh. More and more people were getting involved, and the stakes were growing exponentially higher. He could only wonder how Lelouch must have managed an entire army; worrying over everyone was _exhausting_.

Kallen must have noticed; she put a hand on his shoulder. "Suzaku, are you alright?" she asked, concerned. "I know this is...well, a lot."

But before he could respond, something caught his eye. Lloyd had begun waving his arms wildly in the air. "Hey, be careful!" he screamed. "That's my masterpiece you're working with! _Drop slower!_"

But it was already too late. Before Suzaku could realize what was happening, the Lancelot had materialized from above, rushing in and collapsing like a fallen star. Massive gales of wind rose from the impact, causing the cave to shake wildly. Dust and dirt rushed at him like a tidal wave. There was barely enough time for him to brace himself against the oncoming debris, right as it struck. Through all the chaos he could just make out Lloyd's panicked screams of _"Stop, stop! I told you to be careful!"_

Once the trembling had died down, he lowered his arms. He caught his breath. There, kneeling and towering over a distressed Lloyd, was the familiar Lancelot Frame, his ace in the hand that had won him so many a battle. For a supposed prototype, it looked the same as what he remembered.

_Thank God_, he thought, dusting himself off. He glanced over. Kallen was coughing, and Jeremiah was coated in dirt, but otherwise they seemed fine. _Now we'll have a fighting chance if we need it._

"Alright, I think it's undamaged." Lloyd stepped back, breathing a sigh of relief. "Cécile, for goodness sake, you have to control your falling speed—"

"_Suzaku!_" The pilot's hatch flew open. A woman made to scramble out, already jumping down and pushing past Lloyd. "Is it really you? They told me you were alive!"

Ignoring the scientist's complaints entirely, Cécile Croomy sprinted across the cave, closing the distance before flinging herself at him. He stumbled back, nearly falling over. "Thank goodness," she whimpered, burying her face in his shoulder. He could feel tears staining his suit. "I'm so happy. You're still here. Oh, thank goodness."

Suzaku smiled, albeit with sorrow. "I've missed you, Cécile," he said, returning the hug. "I'm so sorry for lying to you. For everything."

"No, don't you apologize." Cécile pulled back, her eyes shining wet. "You're here. In front of me. You're alive. That's all that matters."

She pressed a hand against his cheek. "Look at you," she said softly. "You look like you've grown so much."

"It's only been a year, Cécile," Suzaku gently reminded her. He reached up, taking her hand in his. "It's good to see you. Did you develop this new Lancelot with Lloyd?"

Cécile nodded. "It's a prototype, unfortunately, so there's not much built in. We only got around to installing the energy wing last week. Sir Lloyd and I have dubbed it 'Lancelot P'."

"Hey, that was your idea," Lloyd brought up as he joined them. "I suggested Lancelot Origin, but Cécile said it was too unoriginal of a name." He gestured to Kallen. "Say, Cécile, have you met Kallen Kōzuki? She is—or was, I suppose—the pilot of the Guren."

"Ah, the famed Black Ace," Cécile said, smiling sweetly. She gave her a small bow. "It is an honor to meet you, Miss Kōzuki."

"Oh, no, please don't." Kallen raised her hands, laughing nervously. "I'm no royalty. I was a regular soldier who worked for Zero."

"More like the best in the empire." Jeremiah walked up, giving her a hearty clap on the shoulder. "The one person who faced off against Kururugi and won."

_The best in the empire_. Gino's image popped into Suzaku's head. He barely suppressed a laugh as Kallen glared at him. "Yes, thank you Jeremiah," she muttered. "But it doesn't matter what my title was; I'm a student now. Besides, can we drop it? I'm not the important one here."

"You bring up a good point." Lloyd broke off from the group, trying to examine the door in the distance. "The demon emperor is inside that door, hm? Goodness, I never imagined I'd see this day come."

"So it's true, Suzaku?" Cécile asked nervously. "You plan on bringing His Majesty back?"

"Yes." He gave her a nod, his mouth drawn in a firm line. "We must do this. For us, and for Lelouch too. I know it's hard to consider why, but please Cécile, try to understand."

Cécile shook her head earnestly. "You mistake my intentions, Suzaku. You and Lelouch were both good men. Sir Lloyd and I have discussed it and, though we cannot betray Britannia, we believe in your mission. You do what you must," she added carefully. "As long as you stay safe."

"Let's hope so."

The entire group turned around. C.C. was heading towards them, the moonlight trailing after her footsteps, her white straitjacket grazing against the cavern floors. "I should inform you that our mission will be dangerous, Cécile."

"L-Lady C.C.!" Cécile stammered, her mouth dropping open. "Dangerous? But what will happen to them?"

"I don't know. That's the danger; I cannot predict what may happen in the World of C. I can only guide them, and even then, my hands are tied."

As she approached, walking as if they had all the time in the world, Suzaku felt something jab at him, a nagging curiosity. He couldn't come up with a reasonable explanation as to how she had made it to Kamine on her own. Or better yet, how she had brought this plan to fruition—attributing it to luck seemed ridiculous. Yet another secret out of the millions she kept hidden under her wing, sealed off from the rest of the world.

That is, with the exception of one other person. Now that he thought about it, Lelouch had likely meant more to her than he realized. The thought bothered him more than it should have.

"Ah ha, I've heard about that place," Lloyd chimed in. "Rumors abound. People insist it's where your wildest dreams come true. Or where you can meet God face-to-face. In fact, I heard this was where Charles zi Britannia came to be blessed by the hand of Heaven."

"Yes, something like that," C.C. said. "But more of a cursed power than a blessing."

"You mean Geass." Kallen spat the word with disgust. "An awful curse indeed."

"It's only a curse if you treat it as one, Kallen." The look C.C. gave her held no anger, nor judgement. Just a distant coldness. "After all, Lelouch used it to his advantage."

"Advantage? You call what happened to him an advantage?" she snapped. "Just look where he ended up. Dead."

"Not for long." Suzaku gave C.C. a nod. "Can we get a move on, C.C.? We have a job to do."

"Very well. I'll be waiting by the entrance. Come meet me when you're ready."

She walked off, her silhouette soon vanishing into the darkness. Suzaku watched her disappear with a shake of his head. So this was what had become of the Zero Requiem in the end. The two halves of Lelouch's heart, defying his grand vision. No wonder they called him the Knight of Betrayal. "Come on, Kallen," he said, trying to keep his voice from trembling. "He's waiting."

"I suppose you're right," she said. "I have no idea what I signed up for, do I?"

"None at all." Lloyd chuckled. "But if neither of you end up dead, well, we'll be waiting here. Don't give up yet. Who knows, a miracle could happen!"

"_Sir Lloyd!_" Cécile reprimanded sharply. "Why would you say that?"

"Hm? Did I say something wrong?"

"You're only making things worse!"

"I was trying to be realistic," Lloyd said, confused. "Were we not going to wait?"

"Kururugi. Kōzuki." Jeremiah stepped forward. One arm was raised before him, the other behind his back. "Best of luck to both of you. Bring Master Lelouch back, I implore of you."

"And please be careful," Cécile said, visibly trying to stop herself from shaking. Suzaku hid a smile. She looked just like the caring mother he had always wanted but had never known. "Whatever you do, come back to us safely."

"We will," Suzaku said, giving them a small bow. "Thank you all for your help. May we see you on the other side." He turned to Kallen. "Come on, Kallen."

"Y-yes." Kallen gazed at the door, beckoning them forward. She gulped. "No turning back now."

As they moved ahead, trying to break through the rubble, Suzaku heard a final chorus behind him, speaking in unison. Despite everything, and for the first time in a long time, his heart felt lighter than usual.

"_Glory to his Majesty! All hail Britannia! All hail Zero!_"

* * *

Kallen's eyebrows furrowed together. "This is it, then?" she asked. They had arrived at the bottom of the staircase, right before the looming doors. Her face was crimson under its glow. "The Thought Elevator?"

"Yes." Suzaku eyes hardened. Although the doors had collapsed under Lelouch's explosives, a red light was still filtering through whatever stood behind, stronger than anything he had seen in the past. Memories were rushing back. His discovery of Zero's identity. Anya, collapsing in his arms after Marianne had left her body. Walking out with C.C. and Lelouch, the latter's parents banished to a fate unknown.

So much suffering had been experienced at those very steps. But now, and for the first time, they might bear witness to a miracle.

"C.C.," Suzaku called out. "Have you been waiting for long?"

"Come now. I've already gone through centuries of waiting."

The witch stood right before the gates. She turned to face them, a shadow against the sea of red. Something about her seemed solemn, almost resigned, as she spoke. "Welcome back to Kamine Island, Suzaku and Kallen." She held out her hand, her delicate fingers extended. "Are you both ready?"

"I am. I have to be." Kallen began treading her way up the stairs, struggling to hide her fear. "You say Lelouch is beyond these doors, C.C.? Where?"

"One can only hope," C.C. said. "I cannot predict what will happen after we enter."

"So what you're saying is, you don't know," Kallen observed. "You don't even really have a plan, do you?"

She gazed back, unprovoked. "It's too early to act high and mighty, don't you think?" she said. "Don't tell me this was how you spoke to Lelouch."

Kallen stepped towards her, fuming. "That's not what—"

"_Enough_," Suzaku called out. "This is getting nowhere. C.C., surely you must have some idea of what will happen inside?"

"You both think I'm some kind of oracle," she stated blandly, "but I'm not. The last time I had anything to do with the World of C was with Marianne and Charles."

"If you weren't sure, then why bother coming here? What's the point of all this?"

"Because it's the last strand in the universe that connects the world of the living with the souls of the dead," she stated. "You both wanted a chance to bring him back. Questionable or not, this is the only way."

Suzaku grimaced. So without her or the World of C, they realistically had no chance at all. But a world continuing on without Lelouch was one too painful to consider, especially after so many weeks of prospective hoping. "Fine," he forced out. "We'll do it. But under one condition."

"Condition?" C.C. said. "What are you talking about? I'm already going in with you."

"I want you to clarify something."

"I don't think now is the best time."

But Suzaku ignored her. The light was washing over them, painting them the color of blood. Before he could hold back his curiosity, the words poured out of him like a rushing river. "Why do you really want to bring him back, C.C.?"

He held his breath. Nothing. He stared into her eyes, searching for something that wasn't barren and hollow. It was like trying to find a speck of light within an abyss.

Finally, she sighed. "Suzaku, why are you asking me foolish questions now?"

"What?" He jerked back, as if kicked in the stomach. "What do you mean?"

"Your question. You know the answer already."

"Can you stop toying around for once?"

"I'm not. I was his accomplice, and he failed to complete our contract. That's all. Why else would—"

"No." There it was, the excuse he had seen coming. The same excuse she used every time. "I know that's not it."

"Oh?" she pondered. She sounded tired, almost bored. "And what do you know of our relationship?"

"You said it yourself. Your contract with Lelouch, as 'accomplices', was so you could lose your mortality. But if all you want is to die, then why did you not forge another contract after Lelouch was gone? You could've easily passed your Geass and Code on to someone else."

"'Easily passed'? You don't know what a Code is, do you?"

"I don't need to. You didn't even try. You say this is about the contract, yet you haven't done anything to fulfill it."

He waited. C.C. said nothing to retaliate. So his premonition had been correct. Like always, she had been hiding her intentions. "I want the actual truth this time," he demanded fiercely. "Tell us why you're here C.C., or else I walk."

"I don't know why you're threatening me now," she said coldly, hardly louder than a whisper. "I know you want Lelouch back more than anything. I'm here to help you."

"And so do you," Suzaku countered. "Or else you wouldn't have done all this. This was never about contracts or accomplices, was it?" He clenched his jaw. The sands of his patience had run out. "This is your last chance, C.C.. Why are you here? _Why did you come all this way to save him_?"

A ragged breath escaped him as he finished, a weight having been lifted off of his chest. But like before, C.C. said nothing. The silence blanketed the cavern, swallowing them whole. Seconds passed by. Then minutes. She must be toying with them, trying to waste their time for whatever reason. Maybe she was actually here to put an end to their efforts, or to hold them out from reaching Lelouch. Maybe that had been her plan from the start. But it did not matter—he would wait for eternity if that was what it took.

Still nothing. Kallen, too, was now watching C.C. intently. But she remained still, as if frozen in time. He may as well have been talking to a statue. Right when he was about to start worrying, she opened her mouth.

"Did you know all along, Suzaku?"

A tear slowly slid down her cheek, leaving a shining wet trail. Suzaku felt his heart drop. He had expected anger, retaliation, contempt, but not this. "C.C.?"

"You and Kallen aren't the only ones who need him." Her voice, somehow, remained steady. "I've survived for so many centuries. But the only time I ever lived, ever wanted to not die, was during my time with him."

The color drained from Suzaku's face. "You...are you saying you love him?"

"Who knows?" Her smile carried the weight of countless heartbreaks. "I am immortal, remember? Like I once said, I have no emotions."

She gazed up at the Thought Elevator, chuckling to herself. Her teardrops formed into refractive rubies as they fell. "Isn't it absurd?" she pondered, to no one in particular. "That after all these centuries, he still found a way to prove me wrong? Making me realize life is more than a series of…"

Her voice caught in her throat. "A series of—"

"A series of accumulating experiences," Kallen finished for her. "I remember."

"Yes." C.C.'s eyes closed slightly. She stood inches away from the door, bathing under its glow. From where Suzaku stood, she looked just like an angel, preparing to ascend to the heavens. How ironic, considering they were about to descend into Hell.

"That's why you went through all this trouble," Kallen murmured. "It was because you never gave up on Lelouch, did you C.C.?"

"I…"

For once, C.C. seemed to falter. There was something about the whole exchange that left Suzaku unsettled. It was like watching a diamond shatter under pressure. "I always knew," C.C. continued on, a warmth creeping into her voice, "he was there. That one day, this world would see him again. I refused to believe otherwise. I refuse to now."

"Because he saved you?" Kallen asked gently.

"Yes." Her words fell into a hush. "Because he knew. He, out of all of them, was the only one who understood."

"C.C.." Suzaku's voice echoed within the stone walls. "Now I understand why you brought us here. And you were right from before. It's like you said—all three of us hold the same convictions. Let us help you bring him back."

Kallen nodded. "We've made it this far, C.C.," she said. She reached out her hand. "We can bring him back tog-"

But as soon as her fingers grazed C.C.'s shoulder, the witch recoiled. She knocked Kallen's hand away, jolting back in shock. Her eyes nearly doubled in size as she stared back. Like she was seeing Kallen for the very first time.

"C.C.?" Kallen said, concerned. "Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?"

"W-What?" C.C. stuttered. "What? No. I mean, yes. I mean, everything is fine." She shook her head. "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."

The moment ended so quickly that Suzaku thought he might have imagined it. When she looked down at him, her eyes were empty again. There was no hint of the C.C. from before, the C.C. who had spoken every word as if they could fulfill a broken promise. "Well, are you joining us Suzaku? I think we'd all rather get off this island as soon as possible."

He blinked. "Right. Sorry, I'm coming."

* * *

"Since I am the only one who possesses a Code," C.C. said as they gathered by the looming doors, "I'll need you both to hold on to me. On my command, we reach forward and touch the door at the same time."

"And then?" Kallen asked.

"And then we go in. And pray we can find him in there, somewhere." C.C. nodded. "Whenever you're ready."

Hesitantly, Suzaku reached out to touch her shoulder; Kallen did the same. The red light before them pulsed steadily like a heartbeat. As if the Thought Elevator could detect their presence, eager to devour them whole.

He could feel himself trembling. His heart felt like it was about to beat straight out of his chest. Never again did he expect himself to be dealing with Geass. And yet, here they were, at last. The final barrier between him and the person who had torn his world apart. Something twisted inside of him, though whether from disgust or anxiety, he did not know. Not even when he stabbed Lelouch during the Requiem had he felt so uncertain—at least back then he knew what Lelouch had wanted.

But they were too close to turn back now. He ground his teeth together. He would dive through the gates headfirst if that was what it took. Lelouch had once sacrificed everything for them. For Nunnally, for eternal peace. And he would do the same to bring him back, the Zero Requiem be damned. _Just a little longer Lelouch_, he thought. _Whether you desire this or not, I'm coming._

"Ready?" C.C. commanded. She leaned forward, giving a slight nod. "On the count of three. One...two...three!"

He swallowed. With the weight of every hope and promise in his heart, he shot out his hand.

Right as he touched the cold stone, he felt it. A shock wave slamming into him, passing through every nerve in his body, rattling him to the bone. The light of Geass flared brighter, pouring through the sigils, showering over his senses. He pushed harder, trying to hold on. Out came the collective cries of millions of lost souls, bleeding through the gateway. Aching, wailing, screaming for salvation, they pounded through his skull, threatening to drive him mad. As if he had been blinded, his vision suddenly whited out. The only thing left was emptiness, as far as the eye could see.

Then came the pain. It caught him by surprise, nearly wiping him off his feet. A thousand blades were stabbing through his body, over and over again, shredding him apart. Lava filtered through his veins, igniting his blood into liquid fire. He had become an inferno, his ragged body burning as it fell into the depths of the Sun.

An excruciating shiver choked the air out of his lungs. He clenched his jaw, certain he would bite his tongue in two. Tears poured down his cheeks in streams. Oblivion threatened to overwhelm him, whiter than the void by his feet. The idea of death sounded more comforting now than ever before.

_Hold on._ C.C.'s voice rang through his mind, though he had no idea how._ It's a defensive system, a test. For Lelouch, for the world...you must endure, Suzaku Kururugi!_

_A test?_ Within the last bits of consciousness, he remembered. A similar experience to last time on Kamine Island, though this was infinitely more painful; torture was too kind a word to describe it. But he was so close. To finding Lelouch again, to returning to Nunnally as promised.

He had to survive. If not for himself, then for the world awaiting him.

With every ounce of willpower left, he dug his feet into the nonexistent ground. He zeroed in on the peaceful expression of Lelouch. Euphemia, as well. Before they had been caught in suffering. Before they had been embroiled in the flames of war. Their smiles were a beacon, a lighthouse to the fog surrounding him, holding him on by a thread.

After what felt like an eternity, the pain began to subside. The fire had died down to a heated warmth. Piece by piece, he could feel his humanity returning. He clenched and unclenched his hands, feeling the blood flow through his fingers.

Suddenly he gasped, his head caught in a whirlwind. The ground rushed up to meet his shoes. He stumbled back, on the verge of collapsing, his chest heaving for air. Thick beads of sweat covered his forehead. There was gray in his vision, and black. Shakily, he glanced over to the side. He could make out Kallen there too, her hands on both knees, choking as if she had just gone through the most difficult training of her life.

Relief washed over him. They had made it in. Alive.

"You both survived," C.C. observed, walking up from behind. "Impressive. Under that amount of pressure, most people would have died within a minute."

"And...you didn't think...to warn us?" Suzaku rasped, wishing his lungs could inhale twice the amount of air. "Are you serious?"

"I didn't know it would be so dangerous. Something is different in here. There is a force that holds great power, far greater than normal."

"And what...about you? Are you alright?"

"What I felt was not quite as stressful," she said with a shrug. "If anything, I knew what to expect. The power of Geass is not a mystery to me." Her eyes wandered over their surroundings. "Hmm. Nothing's changed here, has it?"

With effort, Suzaku pushed himself up. He had to agree—the Thought Elevator was just as decrepit and broken as they had left it. The stone platform they stood on was suspended in space, with no way forward nor back. The defunct Sword of Akasha surrounded them in a sphere-like megastructure, as if they were in an enormous half-dome of a colosseum. The metallic silver and black walls eventually gave way to an orange sphere floating in the sky, large enough to resemble a planet. Clouds floated on its surface. A strange power resonated off of it, strong enough to leave his head spinning.

It seemed to be glaring at them. The World of C. As bright and omniscient as before, back when Lelouch had requested for God to continue the flow of time. Even with Lelouch likely somewhere within, Suzaku found himself loathing it entirely.

"This place…" Kallen murmured, nearly struck speechless. She stumbled in a half-circle. "There's nothing here. I can't hear anything. No birds, no insects, no wind blowing."

"A realm entirely separated from the world of humanity," C.C. answered, their voices disrupting the eerie peace. She walked across the platform. "Where time knows no bounds."

"It can't be...this has existed here? All this time?"

"For centuries, millennia, possibly an eternity," C.C. informed her. "A dimension that bridges the dead, the living, and the power of the king. Charles zi Britannia attempted to destroy God via the machine you see around you."

"Using the Sword of Akasha?" Suzaku could see the World of C reflected in her wide eyes. "That's completely insane. How do you kill God itself? And Lelouch kept this from us? Why?"

"Yes." C.C. had reached the end of the platform. Her foot teetered on the edge. "He wished to condemn himself and his father to this personal hell. I suppose, in a way, his wish was fulfilled. This is exactly where he ended up."

Kallen wrapped her arms around herself. "Lelouch, you stupid bastard," she muttered.

"Now what?" Suzaku said, shivering. The whole place felt like a graveyard. In a way, he supposed it was. "C.C., how do we find him?"

"I already told you back at the Garden. There's only one way I can think of." She raised a hand over the edge. Her hair began to billow out, as if blown by a gust of wind. "I restart the Sword of Akasha."

He almost choked. "What?! You can't!"

"I can. The Sword won't work, but at least we may get the chance to speak with God."

"Wait!" Suzaku cried out. Panic gripped at him, clawing at him, freezing his insides. "What if this ends up erasing you, like it did to Marianne and Charles? We can't lose you now!"

"This is the only way. And you want Lelouch back, don't you?"

A red light poured from her Geass mark. Her head tilted back slightly. She lifted her arm up, pulling on an invisible string, as if drawing forth some sacred power. Powerless to do anything but watch, Suzaku ground his teeth together. Tears blurred his vision. If she ended up dying in the process, regardless of whether she wanted to live or not, he wouldn't be able to live with himself. Not with another loss he could have prevented.

"C.C.!" he cried out. But it was too late—she had already begun speaking.

"Are you there, God? There is something I must ask." Her voice reverberated through the air. "Tell me. What is the meaning of power? Where does it come from?"

"Wait," Kallen said. She frowned. "I've heard this before."

Suzaku whipped his head towards her. "You have? Where?"

"Does it arise from status? From wealth? From acceptance?" Every word C.C. said was unwavering, like a proclamation from up high. "Or is it a privilege granted to us by birthright, where the strong must dominate the weak?"

"No," Kallen muttered next to him. "It comes from the human heart."

"What?" Suzaku exclaimed. "Where did you—"

"Lelouch said it himself. After his battle with the Chinese Federation. Ohgi told me about it after I escaped from hostage." A knowing smile crossed her face. "Not surprised that Lelouch said it, of all people."

"True power lies within us," C.C. declared right after. Suzaku could see her mark shining brighter, a crimson symbol of hope within the dreary realm. "The human heart is the source of all our power. We fight with the power of our hearts!"

Suzaku held a hand up to his own chest. He could feel something racing underneath. "The power of our hearts...Lelouch really said this?" he muttered.

"Can you hear us now?" C.C. raised her other arm up. "If so, then see within us. See the power that we hold. For our desire, _for a new tomorrow_!"

Her last words rang through the chamber. Slowly, as she lowered her arms back down, the light from her forehead faded. Suzaku gave Kallen a look, but she seemed just as confused and lost as he was. What had they just done? 

He winced. He thought he had felt something. A tremble. But it was slight, so slight he must have imagined it. But no—there it was again, a miniature earthquake. Shaking from the depths of the megastructure, like the awakening of some mythical beast from ancient slumber. He felt his Geass starting to trigger. Images of their dead bodies filled his head, sealed away in this forsaken temple. Panic gave way to desperation, crushing him in its hold. They could not die here. Not without saving him, not without seeing him one more time.

"What?" Kallen's gasp broke through his thoughts. She jutted a finger. "Oh god, Suzaku...what the hell is that?"

He followed her line of sight. As soon as he saw it, the blood drained out of his face. "That's—"

"The Sword of Akasha?" Kallen whispered. "Is this what you told me about?"

His attempt at an answer was incomprehensible. Appearing from straight out of his nightmares were two distorted coils, intertwining into a gruesome helix. It reached up from the depths and into the heavens above, piercing the World of C. He could see the skulls of restless souls within, contorted and shining, like some perverted work of blasphemous art. Every inch of him screamed at him to run away from it, as fast as he possibly could. Instead, he muttered in astonishment, "She actually did it. That's it, Kallen. The weapon Charles used to try and destroy the human consciousness."

"But...how?" she croaked out, barely audible. "You said it needed two Codes to work. C.C. only has one."

"I…I don't know."

"It's simple." C.C. was walking back to them, her hair continuing to flow around her. "Did you both forget what I said at Pendragon? One person can start up the Sword. It just requires another Code to be activated."

"C.C., are you alright?" Suzaku quickly looked over her. Not a single scratch or bruise, though he could have sworn the mark on her forehead was more distinct.

"Don't worry, Suzaku," she answered coolly. "I've been through worse. Much worse."

"So Charles could only complete the first part?" Kallen pressed on.

"Correct." C.C. looked back at the spiraling pillar. Was she...admiring it? "But even then, Charles was unique. A normal human with a Code cannot set it into motion. Otherwise, Marianne or V.V. would have started the plan sooner by themselves."

"So what does it take?"

"Aside from a Code? A significant amount of willpower. Getting a chance to speak to God requires more willpower than normal humans are capable of." C.C. absentmindedly raised a hand to her forehead, her fingers grazing over the mark. "And only two people throughout history have done so. One who attempted to use the machine, the other to destroy it."

Suzaku's eyes narrowed. "Lelouch and Charles."

"Correct," she said. "Theoretically, the Ragnarök Connection can only be affected by two separate Codes. But Lelouch found another way. He reversed the process by influencing God itself."

Kallen shook her head. "Influencing God itself…" she muttered incredulously.

"So how did you do it then?" Suzaku inquired. The more C.C. spoke, the more it sounded like some corrupted fairy tale. "On your own?"

C.C. turned to him, a small smile dancing on her lips. "Would you believe me if I told you I had the willpower necessary?"

"I...I mean—"

"I'm just kidding." Her eyes shone with the depth of an incredible wisdom, the knowledge of a hundred lifetimes. Yet here she was, teasing him instead. "You were right, Suzaku. The strain was too much. It was only after starting that I realized I didn't have the power to see it through."

He knew it. Even with her immortality, C.C. was only human. "So what happened?"

"A familiar voice called out to me. It offered to grant me its strength."

"_A familiar voice?!_" Suzaku grabbed C.C. by the arm, his fingers digging into her sleeve. "Who answered you? Was it Lelouch?"

"You really need to stop grabbing me every—"

"Answer the damn question!"

The moans of suffering filled his ears. Even with the twisting pillar in his line of sight, the only thing he could see before him was C.C. observing him with curiosity. She was glowing, the incandescence from the World of C shining down on her. It was just then that he realized with a start how beautiful she was, if not entirely maddening. To his surprise, she smiled. "Yes," she said. "I believe it was him."

It was as if he had heard her from a mile away. The blood in his veins froze, his heartbeat swallowing up his ears.

It couldn't be.

"He's here then." He could barely whisper the words. "He's alive."

"I wouldn't say alive," C.C. mentioned hastily, "but yes. I felt something, a voice that may be his, offer to help me. Whoever it was, they provided the remaining strength I needed."

"He's here." He stumbled back, not hearing a word she had said. Maybe if he repeated them enough, the words would magically come true. "Lelouch is here."

"But...how?" Kallen implored desperately, her eyes shining. "How do we save him? With the sword activated, what do we do next?"

"We wait," C.C. answered calmly. "And hope that the World of C answers our request."

"_Here is your answer__._"

Suzaku stiffened. That voice—he had never heard anything like it. As if it were composed of a million others speaking simultaneously. It echoed through his head, just like C.C.'s from before, both everywhere and nowhere at the same time.

"What was that?" Kallen exclaimed. She searched wildly back and forth. "Who's there? Show yourself!"

Only C.C. remained at ease, as if this were a regular day for her. "So you finally respond to us."

A loud groan interrupted them. The cry of someone—or something—going through intense pain, like an animal being tortured. He squinted. Either he was imagining it, or the massive coil had begun to contort inwards, collapsing. "The Thought Elevator…it's breaking down again."

"So it is," Kallen said, astounded by the sight. "Should we do something?"

"No," C.C. commanded. "It has already served its purpose. They know we are here. Besides, there's no way we could save it, even if we wanted to."

Suzaku bit down on his lip, witnessing its destruction in awe. Like before, the Thought Elevator was disintegrating into countless tiny fragments. Small black humanoid shapes scattered down from the helix before fading into nothing. The structure released a wailing noise as it fell apart, a scream of pain that barely passed as human. "Just like before," he mumbled, unable to shake off the sense of déjà vu. "Just like the first time."

C.C. nodded. "It was never meant to work. Charles' plan was far too ambitious for his own good."

"So you brought it back just to get the attention of God," Kallen established, trying to wrap her head around it all. "Didn't you say you didn't have a plan?"

"Not a solid one," C.C. said. "I told you I didn't know if this would work, or if we would survive. Every part of this was a risk."

"Isn't that lucky for us," Suzaku muttered under his breath. C.C. did not respond, the three of them watching in silence. Before long the wailing had disappeared, the last bits of the Thought Elevator vanishing into thin air. As if it had never risen in the first place. A strange tranquility fell over the Sword of Akasha, settling back into a graveyard.

"_Welcome, mortals._"

Suzaku flinched. There it was again, that horrible sound that made his skin crawl. Except now it came from an actual source.

He whirled around. Facing them was an unfamiliar girl, both slim and tall, her skin a pale shade of gray. A short black bob with purple edges surrounded her slim face with two thick strands reaching down to her chest. Her features looked just like C.C.'s, complete with sharp cheekbones curving into a pointed chin. Her eyes glowed a bright purple—the same color as Lelouch, Suzaku realized with a start—and she wore a loose black jumpsuit with a Geass-shaped collar, the same symbol marking her knees and neck. Two thin, purple ribbons extended from her waist. There was something about her that emanated an incredible power, a power not even C.C. possessed.

"Who are you?" Suzaku could only mumble in bewilderment.

The girl slowly turned her head to him, smiling. A shiver passed through him. Whoever she was, there was nothing human about her.

"_Welcome, Suzaku Kururugi_," she—or rather, it—said, the combined voices speaking in tandem. "_I have many a name. Most of which your kind cannot pronounce. You may refer to me as the Dimensional Supervisor._"

"The Dimensional Supervisor?" Suzaku repeated, eyeing her up and down.

"_Correct. I am what you would refer to as the collective human consciousness. The embodiment of will, both living and dead._"

He froze. This young girl, who looked no older than a college student, was the God humanity spoke of? Was this some sort of trick? Or had he simply gone mad?

C.C. stepped forward. "We finally meet," she said. "Do you remember who I am?"

"_You._" The Dimensional Supervisor acknowledged her with a strange fondness. "_The immortal witch. We heard your call. To what do we owe the visit?_"

"I realize we have no right to ask of this. But I've come to request a favor." The corners of her mouth quirked up. "We hoped to bring back a very special friend, and we need your help."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (As mentioned in the first chapter, the Dimensional Supervisor is the one character who's not from the main anime series. Instead, her origins are seen in Akito the Exiled. For anyone interested, I highly recommend watching it!)


	5. Trial of the Gods

_"In this world, evil can arise from the best of intentions. And there is good which can come from evil intentions." _— _C.C._

* * *

"Sayoko, could you come help me with my outfit please?"

Nunnally struggled to pull her arm through the sleeve of her silken robes. They were a pale ivory, with lines of fuchsia running throughout, the Britannian emblem stamped on the edges. She had wanted to wear something simple, something that would seem more human to the Japanese. But Cornelia had insisted that her first public appearance in over a year be a display of nobility for whatever reason.

She shook her head. It was always the same with Cornelia: status and power over peace and negotiations. No wonder she and Lelouch never got along, even as kids.

"Sayoko?"

"Coming, Your Majesty!" Sayoko promptly walked in, holding an ornate teapot. "I apologize, Your Majesty. I was making tea, and before that I was outside, taking care of the plants."

Nunnally smiled. "It's okay. And I _told_ you to stop addressing me like that. Please, call me by my name."

"I know, Your Majesty, but—I mean, Miss Nunnally. I apologize again. It is difficult to drop old habits."

"I understand, but please." She watched Sayoko pour into the cup atop her dresser. "It feels strange to be addressed as royalty."

"But you _are_ of royalty, Miss Nunnally." Sayoko passed it to her with a gentle hand. "As empress, you are in charge of leading the world."

Nunnally took a sip, letting the bitter taste clear her senses. "Thank you, Sayoko," she said gratefully. "You always did make the best tea. Lelouch found a way to burn the leaves half the time."

Sayoko gave her a knowing smile. "He was mature, but he had quite a lot to learn, that one. Now, what is it you called me in for?"

Nunnally lifted her sleeve, the garment only halfway up her arm. "My robes don't seem to fit. Could you help me put it on?"

"Of course."

Upon placing the cup down Sayoko began undressing her with care, her fingers making quick work of the braids in the back. "How are you feeling today, Miss Nunnally?" she asked, carefully trying to remove the fabric.

"About the Annual Commencement? I'm not sure, really. I haven't thought too much about it."

"Is that so?" Sayoko undid the final knot. The robes slipped off of her shoulders. "Is something else on your mind?"

"Yes," she said. "I keep going back to Suzaku."

"Ah, of course. He's been gone for a while now."

Sayoko picked the robe off of the floor and dangled it before her, observing the length. "My goodness, Miss Nunnally, who made these for you?"

"Cornelia insisted that I wear it," Nunnally said. "She left it at our quarters in Pendragon where Suzaku and I are supposedly living together. One of our messengers dropped it off this morning."

"Well, whoever prepared this got the proportions wrong." Sayoko scoffed. "The twist in the front is far too tight, and the knots in the back go too high up. No wonder it wouldn't fit you correctly."

Nunnally let out a small giggle. "Thank goodness I have you here. Suzaku would have been clueless for sure."

"It is my pleasure." She laid the garment on the bed, analyzing it over. "You said you were worried about him?"

"Oh! Yes, that's right." Nunnally looked out the window above her bed. It was a beautiful day—perfect for the Commencement of Japan, only a few hours away. If only he were here to share it with them. "I know he promised he'd be back, but I can't stop thinking of all the things that could go wrong."

"Oh, I wouldn't worry too much if I were you," Sayoko reassured. "Sir Kururugi is more than capable of taking care of himself. He was more worried about you, in fact."

"Worried about me?"

"Quite, actually. You recall the message I delivered, correct? He was scared he would leave you behind if he—"

She paused, her hands freezing. The ivory silk nearly slid out of her fingers. "I apologize. What I meant to say was _when_ he returns, everything will be fine."

"I see." Nunnally's tone was ambiguous. "Sayoko, do you think he will be alright?"

"I do. I must. He made a promise to me for the both of us. And knowing Suzaku, I believe he will make good on that promise." She flipped the dress over, now working to retie the strings. "There's something else I wish to ask, Miss Nunnally," she brought up. "Forgive me if I'm being too forward, but—"

"Go ahead, Sayoko. There's no need to apologize."

She paused again. "Well, I was wondering if you were still upset, Your Majesty."

"Upset?" Nunnally's voice cracked ever-so-slightly. "You mean from the night before?"

"Yes," she said. "When I shared why he'd disappeared, and what he'd done. I'm sorry if I went against orders. Please forgive me—I only wished to help you both."

Nunnally sighed. "I know, Sayoko," she said. "And I was concerned at first, but I feel much better now after a night of sleep. I'm fine, really. There's nothing to worry about." She made a tutting noise. "Besides, we both know Suzaku. He's like Lelouch in many ways. Once he cares about something, there's nothing in the world that can stop him."

"Very true." Sayoko chuckled. "Those boys...what a pair they were."

"He reminds me so much of my brother," Nunnally said, giggling. "Even the way he talks! And how he's never realized it, not even after—"

She cut herself off. "After Lelouch died," she finished, in an effort to sound lighthearted. The light in her eyes seemed to dim, if only a little.

Sayoko bit down on her tongue. There were many parts she had kept secret from Nunnally. How Suzaku was not only risking his life, but also flying to Kamine Island and confronting the power of Geass. And especially the part about bringing back her brother. The truth would only overwhelm Nunnally, at best.

"I'm sorry, Miss Nunnally," she said. "I miss Master Lelouch as well."

"I know, Sayoko," Nunnally said softly. "Your service through the years has been invaluable. Thank you for being there, and here now."

Sayoko smiled to herself. Both the siblings really _were_ like Suzaku and vice versa. "Always, Your Majesty."

She raised the dress up, turning it over. "There we go. This should fit you much better."

"Oh, wonderful!" Nunnally clapped her hands together. "Would you mind putting it on for me?"

As Sayoko began draping it over her, the delicate fabric covering her skin, the corners of her mouth lifted. "And Sayoko, remember what I said earlier about my name?"

"Ah, that's right. I will keep it in mind, Your Ma—I mean, Miss Nunnally."

* * *

_Galaxies, filled to the brim and overflowing with stars. Streams of color, mixing with beams of light, flashing in the blink of an eye. Ocean waters, their depths made of crystal, more pure and reflective than any mirror. A gorgeous sky with white clouds, both soft and puffy—just like the pork dumplings Father used to make._

Reality was gradually coming back. Suzaku blinked. He lifted a hand to his head.

"Ngh...what happened? Where am I?"

He wearily looked down. And saw his groggy reflection staring back at him. What was he standing in? It seemed to be water, at least for a second, but that was before the surface transformed into something crystalline, more reflective. A floor made entirely of molten glass.

He blinked. Suddenly, there was a mass expanse of light underneath, an infinite cosmos. Like he was observing the depths of space through a clean window. It had all occurred so _quickly_, the waves coiling and exploding into stars before his eyes.

It was coming back. Stars and ocean waves, frothing beyond glass. Kamine Island. Kallen and C.C.

He jerked up, the fear clenching him in its vice. The world around him must have been changing this entire time, shifting between space and blue skies, night and day, ocean and land. As if the facets of the universe had been caught in an infinite cycle. He spun in a circle. There was only the expanse of empty space, made up of the crystal floor, reaching into the distance for eternity. No wind, no people, no architecture. Just a silent emptiness that suffocated him, like he had been cut off from the rest of humanity. The last person on Earth.

But this couldn't be on Earth anymore. In fact, where was he? And where was everyone else? The last thing he remembered was that strange girl, smiling in a way that made him shudder.

No, not just any girl. She had called herself the Dimensional Supervisor, the embodiment of human will. There had also been a strange power, some ominous force of nature, that had radiated off her in waves. Perhaps it was the same power C.C. had spoken of when they entered the Thought Elevator. Then everything had gone black, and now...now, he was in the middle of nowhere with nothing in sight, yet somehow everything in sight. He fought back the urge to consider the worst.

"Hello?" he called out, his hands cupped around his mouth.

No response. He may as well have been shouting from the peak of the Mausoleum of 88 Emperors. A sinking feeling settled into the pit of his stomach. "Kallen? C.C.? _Anybody_?"

"Suzaku, over here!"

He spun around. She was racing across the glass-like surface, each step forming ripples under her feet. His whole body sagged. "Kallen, there you are," he breathed. "I thought I'd lost you."

"Lost me?" she said incredulously as she ran up to him. "What are you talking about? I've been here the whole time. Hell, I thought I'd lost _you_." Her grin lasted a second. "You don't happen to know where we are, do you?"

"No idea at all."

A dim ray of sunlight washed over him. Suzaku turned back, squinting against the light. A falling sunset had taken over the horizon, lighting up the entire realm. The once-blue skies were a blur, the colors of a dying flame. In the distance he could see the sun, a waxy orange and no larger than a baseball, slowly sinking into a puddle, soaking the floor in gold. Even with their current situation, a tiny part of him could not help but admire the sight—it was like no sunset he had seen before.

Perhaps Lelouch was there with them now, watching. He certainly hoped so. "This can't be our reality though, is it?"

"No way," Kallen mumbled, hypnotized. "We must be in a different place altogether."

"Maybe we're in the World of C?"

"Maybe," she said, doubtful. "But I can't find C.C.. I only came to a few minutes ago."

"You're not the only one." He raised a hand, shielding his eyes. "The same thing happened to me. I just woke up."

"And you didn't see C.C. either?"

"No. Nor that girl from before, the Dimensional Supervisor."

Kallen stepped forward, joining him. She wrapped her arms around herself. "That girl...whoever she was, she definitely wasn't human, was she?"

"Definitely not," he said. "You heard her, didn't you? If we're to believe her, then she is the God humans speak of."

Kallen shook her head. "God, huh? Goodness. I know you mentioned it before, but I never thought it would actually get this far."

"At least it's not your second time here," he said. "Seeing the World of C once was enough for one lifetime."

"But this was your first encounter with that young girl?"

"Mm." The rays of light were already beginning to disappear, the sun melting under the horizon. "I had no idea it could turn into a person."

"'It'?"

"The human consciousness. I thought it was just a giant ball of gas."

She let out a short bark of laughter. "Now _that_ would have been interesting. Imagine traveling to another planet."

"Very much so," he said. "Now we just have to negotiate with God. Definitely easier."

Kallen stretched out her arms, her suit orange under the dying sunlight. "You know, if she's the collective human consciousness, then that means Lelouch should technically be a part of her, right? How are we going to get him out?"

"Simple. We kill her."

"Wait, what? Suzaku—"

"Relax. I'm only kidding."

Kallen's mouth fell shut. She turned her back on him. "So you have a sense of humor after all," she muttered indignantly. "But I can't believe you'd joke around at a time like this."

"I'm already being forced to live. It makes things easier," he responded, trying not to smile. He supposed he could not blame her for being on edge. "Anyways, what do you suggest we do?"

Kallen unfolded her arms. "What else can we do but look around? We should search for C.C., or the Supervisor."

But before Suzaku could say anything, night had fallen. The sky became packed with fragments of white, filling up the darkness. Bursts of colored light rose up in pillars, like the Northern Lights he once read about as a child. He could see every last detail caught in the floor's pristine reflection. As strange as it all was, it more than managed to take his breath away.

He rubbed his eyes, trying to adjust to the changing seasons. "But look around—there's nothing to search for, is there? If we couldn't find them earlier, we definitely won't now."

"Well, we can't do _nothing_," she stressed. "Otherwise, we're stuck. And Lelouch is waiting for us."

"Find who here?"

Kallen's ears perked up. She turned around, locking on someone in the distance. "C.C.? Is that you?"

"Who else would it be?" C.C. was strolling towards them, the Dimensional Supervisor by her side. Neither of them seemed human in the slightest.

"Where did you two come from?" Suzaku demanded. "Neither of us could find you."

"Sorry to keep you waiting. We were back at the Sword of Akasha, where I was having a conversation with our, um—"

She cleared her throat. "Friend here."

"A _conversation_? About what?"

The Dimensional Supervisor held a hand to her mouth, giggling. Or at least, the closest sound to a giggle Suzaku could define. "_You are a curious man, Suzaku Kururugi. You question the world, yet are unafraid of the answers you'll find. For many humans, that is an uncommon trait._"

He scowled. "Uncommon?"

"_Indeed. Humanity is a fickle wheel, you see. It turns and spins, but once something falls out of place…_"

She lifted her hand, making a loop with one finger. "_It all comes tumbling down. That is why we demand routine, authority, order. Search too far and wide, and you put the system at risk. You may discover secrets not meant to be found, venture into places best left unknown. And then your remaining years, whether short or long, will walk a very different course._"

She giggled yet again. As if the folly of man were a game to her. Suzaku could only blink. Was this young girl here really lecturing him on the nature of humanity?

_Not some regular girl. _Once again, he had to remind himself that it was God standing before him. But, dear Lord, somehow that was even worse. He was literally talking to God.

Kallen had been right—how did it ever come to this?

"The human condition," C.C. said. Suzaku turned to her, eager to look anywhere else. He could see the stars glittering in her eyes. "Always desperate for an answer, but never ready for the truth."

"Well, there's an answer I want." Kallen stepped forward, scowling. "Tell us: where are we? I think you owe us that much."

"_Owe you?_" The Dimensional Supervisor looked to her, as if she had just noticed her existence. "_You must not know who we are_."

"I do know. God, or the Supervisor of Dimensions, or whatever. But that doesn't—"

"_Your name is Kallen Kōzuki, correct?_" The Dimensional Supervisor began walking around her in a circle, examining her up and down. "_Half Japanese, half Britannian. Yet you side with the oppressed to give voice to justice. Some would call you brave, others attention-seeking._"

She stumbled. "I—well, yes, I guess that's true. But I don't see what that has to do with anything."

"_That fire inside you,_" The Dimensional Supervisor continued, curiosity tinting her voice, "_it burns brighter than most. Your passion for what you believe in is incredible._"

"Maybe it does," Kallen snapped. "What's your point?"

"_Temperamental as well._" She gave C.C. an amused look. "_You truly know how to find them, witch of Britannia._"

"I would say it's more like they found me," C.C. answered, a smile in her voice. "If you think they're special, wait until you meet our friend."

"_You speak of the previous heir to the Britannian throne. The three of you think this is a good idea, don't you? Reviving a man like him? Someone who almost destroyed the world?_"

"If you know what he did, then you must also know why he did it," Suzaku brought up. "It was to recreate the world for the better."

"_Of course. We know all and see all. His goal was to achieve peace._" The Dimensional Supervisor's eyes narrowed. "_But peace by nature cannot be sustained. Humans have too many conflicting needs._"

"So you're saying he died in vain," he said. "Then doesn't he deserve something more? For the things he gave up? The people he tried to save?"

"_Those were his own decisions. Lelouch vi Britannia was a man of his own design. He alone determined his path._"

"But the choices he made were good in the end," Kallen persisted. "Look at the world now. The peace he fought for might not last, but you can't deny things are better than before. And we wouldn't have got there without someone like him."

"_You speak of his past as if it could predict what comes in the future,_" the Dimensional Supervisor responded flatly. She raised a slender hand to the sky. "_Look around you. As the universe expands, so do the steps we take in our lives. Death is but one stepping stone we must learn to accept._"

"Don't talk about his death like that," Suzaku said. "Like it was meant to happen." It did not matter whether she was God or a regular citizen; brushing aside Lelouch's sacrifice felt like a slap in the face. "He deserves better than that."

"_Many people do. What do you say to casualties of war, or people who die from disease?_"

"They, too, deserve more. Death is inevitable, but it comes too soon for the best of us. To most of us." His last memory of Euphie in the hospital room, holding onto him as her life slipped away, crossed his mind like a wavering shadow.

She tilted her head. "_You contradict yourself, soldier. Believing his life was more important, yet stating that life is important to all. What are you hoping to achieve?_"

"Look, we know it's not the most logical or moral thing," Suzaku emphasized. "And I'm not asking you to bring everyone back. But can't you make an exception? Lelouch was different—surely you can see that. The world needs him back. _We_ need him back."

"And Lelouch meant more to us than you know," Kallen interrupted, stepping forward. "Please, your, er, Highness. We've come all this way; it must count for something."

"_You have persevered, that much is true. But that speaks to your tenacity, not to his benefit._"

"We'll do anything," Suzaku gritted out. He could feel his last strand of sanity about to snap. She had to help them. Even if he had to beg on both knees. "Please. We'll do whatever it takes. We only need a chance."

Instead of answering, the Dimensional Supervisor looked down, watching the ripples distort the fabric of space. "_My goodness. Humanity...I've forgotten how fragile they've become._"

"As if you're not made up of humanity yourself," C.C. said lightly. "Come now, Caretaker. We talked about this already. Can't you move on with it?"

"_Oh, fine._" She snorted softly, her lips curving into a smile. "_For an immortal witch, you care about humans far more than you should._"

C.C. glanced up, watching the stars spin with the light in their graceful dance. "You can thank Lelouch for that," she murmured.

The Dimensional Supervisor gazed at Suzaku first, then Kallen. Her eyes seemed to penetrate to his core, flipping through the pages of his soul like an open book. She gave them both a single nod. "_Very well. We have decided to answer your plea._"

"You will?" His heart dropped like a stone. Beside him, Kallen gasped. "But...really?"

"_Yes. But on one condition. And should either of you fail this condition, the contract will be null and void. You have one chance to prove your worth._"

"Prove our worth? What are you talking about?" Kallen glowered. "We've come this far to find you. We activated a sword. We almost died trying to get in. What more could you want from us?!"

"_Control yourself_." The look she gave Kallen could have frozen water into ice. "Y_our request extends beyond the privileges of mortality. Thank the stars above that you have been granted leniency.”_

But Kallen refused to back down. "So...what? This is the only way then?"

"Careful, Kallen," C.C. said. "God is agreeing to hear us out only because I spent so long convincing them."

"_The witch and I forged a contract_," the Dimensional Supervisor said. "_Both of you shall pass a test to show the strength of your will. Complete it successfully, and we will bring back the prince. Simple as that._"

"It can't be," Suzaku muttered. "Nothing with Geass is ever simple."

"_Such a jaded young man._" The Dimensional Supervisor eyed him with amusement. "_Unlike the contracts of your friend here, there are no hidden agendas. Take it for what it is, Suzaku Kururugi, and be grateful."_

Grateful. Like they owed her a debt, or were subject to the grace of her will. "You promise us, God?" he demanded. "That if we do as you say, you'll bring him back?"

By now the world had shifted to bright blue, the night transforming into day. Massive clouds floated by lazily, ignoring the conversations below. Despite the pleasant weather, Suzaku held back a shiver. Under daylight the Dimensional Supervisor seemed even more otherworldly. The color of her skin was a silverish white, a mixture of mercury and dirty snow. He could clearly see her body, both elongated and slender, resembling that of some breathtaking alien. Nothing flashed in her eyes. No spark, no fire, no sense of longing. An empty void.

"_You have our word,_" she said, the clouds billowing impossibly far behind her. "_And as you would know, the word of God goes beyond any other. Overcome the trial, and we shall deem you worthy._"

"Worthy of what, exactly?" Kallen said.

"_Of our good graces. No normal human can step foot within this realm, much less earn the privilege of speaking to God. If your hearts, like the witch said, are as strong as they seem…_" She smiled, though there was nothing warm about it. "_Then your request shall be granted. A token of admiration for your persistence._"

"And that request is giving us Lelouch. Alive."

"_Correct._"

"The terms are simple," C.C. said. "The World of C wishes to test how badly you want Lelouch. How far you are willing to suffer. Survive, do as they say, and you pass."

Kallen made a noise of disgust. "Sadistic bastards."

"Fine," Suzaku agreed begrudgingly. Not that he had a choice in the matter. "What do you want us to do?"

The Dimensional Supervisor's grin twisted into something more sinister. Against her youthful demeanor, it seemed out of place. "_You both say you will give up anything to save him, correct?_"

"Yes." There was no doubt in Kallen's statement. "Hit us with anything you want. We can handle it."

"_Very well._" She raised a hand, her fingers extended. Strands of her hair began to fly around, as if blown by the wind. The clouds in the sky slowed to a stop. The blue skies melted into the ground, leaving behind a curtain of shadows, as if the universe were giving up to the darkness.

"_As dictated by the Gods, let the trial commence!_"

From her palm radiated the Geass symbol, glowing with light, as white as the stars from before. Then came the shaking. Another small earthquake, the world around him groaning in pain. The same symbol flared up beneath his feet, now the color of dark crimson. It flickered at a rapid rate, matching the beats of his pulse, like an ill-fated prophecy before disaster struck.

He swallowed against a dry throat. There was no turning back now.

"_Suzaku Kururugi. Kallen Kōzuki._" Her voice was more foreboding than any omen. "_Best of luck to both of you. Perhaps you will need it._"

A tingling sensation overcame him, traveling up from the tips of his toes. Balls of light were clinging to him, like moths to moonlight. His skin, his suit, every inch of him emanated a white light, glowing softly against the black. He stared at his hands, alarmed. What in God's name had he signed up for?

"Kallen?" He looked over, but she was going through the same thing. Staring around her, confused, fearing for her life.

"Suzaku...what's happening?" She gasped. The light was becoming stronger, about to swallow them whole. He could barely see anything, let alone her anymore.

"I don't understand. C.C., what's—"

His words cut off. He, along with Kallen, had disappeared into thin air, phasing out of existence and into the light. As if they had been part of a wakeless dream the entire time. Only traces of their glow remained, but that too was fading into the dark.

C.C. exhaled. "Bring him back for us, Suzaku, Kallen. I'm depending on you."

Eventually, the shaking came to a stop. The Dimensional Supervisor turned to her, her hair settling back down. She raised her eyebrows. "_Say, C—_"

"Don't."

"_Hm? Don't what?_"

"Don't say that name." C.C. spoke so quietly, she wondered if God could even hear her. "I don't want to hear it."

"_Oh?_" Like clockwork, the rotation of the universe had resumed its dance. Millions of stars studded the sky, followed by galaxies and columns of lights. Auroras and falling comets lit up the spectacle. Maybe regular humans would have found it impressive. Maybe she would have, too, in a different lifetime.

"_So only one human is supposed to know your name, hm?_" the Dimensional Supervisor poked playfully. "_And no one else is to speak of it?_"

"Yes. And I intend to keep it that way."

C.C. walked off without another word. Watching the ripples that rose with every step she took. What was this feeling in her chest? A heaviness, a sensation of incoming dread? She had not felt such emotions since…since…

Well, since the final day of the Requiem. Once she had known Lelouch was gone for good.

"_Can you tell me about him, then, Britannian witch?_" the Dimensional Supervisor called out to her. "_About Lelouch. He was special to you, correct?_"

"But of course," C.C. responded without looking back. "Do you think I would have come all this way otherwise?"

"_Then why not volunteer for the trial when we formed our contract? Not enough confidence?_"

"No." C.C. came to a stop. She watched the final ripples disrupt her reflection. "There's no trial that I would not put myself through. For I am not limited by the bounds of human nature. But you, like all humans, are inherently cruel. You wished for a challenge."

"_Aha_," the Dimensional Supervisor said cheerfully. "_You know God quite well._"

"I have to. Every person I've met leaves me behind. Who else do I have at this point?"

"_Quite true. Humanity is too weak, too fragile. Only the eternal passage holds stability for people like us._"

C.C. snorted, though not unkindly. "'People like us'?"

"_Why, yes!_" She was dancing towards her now, spinning in circles. Like she was not the keeper of mankind, and had just condemned two of the best people she knew into suffering. "_It is like you said. We belong to the realm of humans. We eternally watch over them. Hence why I understand them, their fears, their hopes. Though I must admit, I can't understand you, witch._"

"Because I'm immortal?"

"_Because you do things we cannot understand. And unlike the others, your humanity is too far gone for us to read you._"

"Oh?" C.C. grinned. "Like what?"

"_Like when you lied to Suzaku,_" she said. "_What a strange thing to do. Were you trying to protect him?_"

"Lied about what?"

"_You know what,_" the Dimensional Supervisor accused with mock severity. "_Telling him you heard Lelouch._"

"Are you really going to hold that against me?" C.C. said, with a slight wave of her hand. "Even if you can't read me, you must know that I have done worse."

"_You're avoiding the question,_" the Dimensional Supervisor said in a singsong voice. "_We know you started the Sword on your own. Your willpower was more than enough._"

"Perhaps I did," she remarked coolly. "But I don't see why you're questioning it now."

"_Just answer me, Britannian witch,_" she teased. "_Why tell the boy you heard otherwise?_"

C.C. shrugged. She looked up, searching the sky for familiar constellations. There it was—the figure of the lion. Next to it, the twins. Just like all the other times she had searched for them, a hundred times over throughout the past centuries. "I don't know," she said. "I guess I wanted to give Suzaku something to fight for, some faith that not all was for nought. Or…"

"_Or what?_"

"Or maybe I was afraid of telling them the truth."

"_Too scared to admit you're in love?_" the Dimensional Supervisor pressed on, leaning forward. "_Could it be?_"

"Scared to admit the determination I possess." C.C. played with the strands of her hair. "I didn't know I had it in me. When it comes to Lelouch, I surprise even myself."

"_So the witch has some emotion after all,_" the Dimensional Supervisor said with a smug expression. She sounded pleased with herself.

"He is also in love with Lelouch, as I'm sure you're aware of," C.C. brought up. "So there was that to consider as well."

"_I am indeed. My, my. What an awkward thing to tell the man who's in love with him._" The Dimensional Supervisor shook her head in wonder. "_You humans are so very complicated._"

C.C. smirked. "Well, how else do you think we got here?"

* * *

At last, he could start to see. Suzaku weakly raised an arm, squinting against the light. It was like someone had shined a flashlight into his eyes. "Hello?" he called out. "Is anyone there?"

Slowly, but surely, it was coming into focus. He was not outside, but sitting in an enclosed space, with a glass ceiling curved around him. Knobs, screws, and metal plates surrounded him on all sides. Something about it all seemed very familiar.

His fingers securely wrapped around the handle before him before giving it a small thrust. He felt movement, the sound of activating fuel thrusters. Something inside his head clicked—this had to be a Knightmare Frame, albeit an older model. There was enough space for two people, a passenger and a pilot. While not as outdated as Jeremiah's, its interface was not cutting edge either; the specs seemed much weaker than that of the Lancelot. But at least it possessed a Hadron cannon, and basic flight capabilities.

He exhaled in relief. If he ended up having to fight, it would prove good enough.

With hesitation, he looked out the window. From what he could see, it looked like a residential area. No doubt within Japan, given its poverty-stricken attempts at proper construction. Only something was clearly off. Smoke was pouring out of shattered windows and up into the sky, an oily haze of gray. The remaining buildings were covered in cracks, their foundations on the verge of collapsing. Bullet holes scattered relentlessly up the concrete walls. Bits and pieces were all that remained of nearby houses, as if blown apart by a powerful explosion.

From somewhere far off he heard screams for help, footsteps pounding on concrete. Then the sounds of guns shooting. Something twisted inside him, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. Had he been dropped in the middle of a war zone?

He looked down—and felt the twisting intensify. It was Zero's outfit, not his pilot suit, that he was wearing. And, he noticed with a start, the mask as well. Which meant that, despite everything, he was likely back in the present. Lelouch was still dead. Only now the people were at war, the Zero Requiem forgotten. How could this have happened?

"Kill them all!"

The scream almost threw him into a state of shock. A far too familiar voice, one that ripped him back to another place in time. But...no, it had to have been his imagination. Nothing more.

He glanced out the window, just to make sure. And felt the world around him come to a stop.

It couldn't be. It wasn't possible.

A young girl stood some feet away, coated in stains of blood. Her long, pink hair flowed behind her, with two strands reaching down to her waist. She wore a frilly white and purple dress that cut off at the knees, exposing her bare skin to the smoke and blood. She was searching frantically, a broken Knightmare in ruins by her feet.

He forgot how to breathe. Never in this life did he think he would see her again. Especially not like this, so seemingly desperate and deranged, covered in the blood and broken dreams of what was likely harmless citizens. "_Euphie_," he choked out, the words so thick they nearly caught in his throat. Tears welled up in his eyes. "It's you."

Every inch of him wanted to burst through the glass. To run down and call out her name. To remember the sweet scent of cherry blossoms in her hair. Comfort her, protect her as her loyal knight, even if it was only within a false memory. Use whatever power he had to guard her from the world and the cruelty of war. Like he had promised her. And before he had failed. Before Zero had killed her.

_Before Zero had killed her._

He lurched forward as if shot. He remembered now. Where this was, whose blood it was that stained her garments. Why she was holding a gun in her arms and aiming it straight for his head.

_No._ Everything was turning white, as if bleached through with acid. From far away he thought he heard the sound of himself gasping, so rapidly that he might pass out. _This can't be. Please, God, no. Anything but this. I'll do anything._

But he knew. He wished with every fiber of his being that it was a cruel joke. That he would magically wake up any minute and find out it was all part of a dream. A command that tore through him the same way his sword had once torn through Lelouch's chest.

_Kill her._

"I must kill all the Japanese!" she declared. She attempted to fire at him. The bullets bounced off the Frame without so much as a dent.

"Euphie…" Suzaku strangled out. "_Why?_"

"Why now?" Euphemia exclaimed, mirroring his plea. The gun was already out of ammo. Her eyes desperately scanned among the debris and piles of bodies. "Quickly, quickly!"

_She's searching for more bullets._ The realization came to him slowly. _She's actually trying to _kill_ me._

He felt like he was about to vomit. This had been the one act Lelouch committed that he had never forgiven him for. Never _will_ forgive him for. And now…

With shaking fingers, he pressed the eject button. Slowly, four wires lowered him down from the Frame's cockpit. He could see her now, frantically searching by the soldier's corpse. As if she was not aware of who she was, nor the fact that she had just committed mass genocide. Oblivious to how Lelouch's intentions had jeopardized the future of peace in Japan.

His hand nearly slipped on the wire. Even during her last moments, and possessed by Geass, she still took his breath away. She was so close in front of him. His princess, his heart, his Euphie.

_Not your Euphie anymore_, he realized. The thought struck him like an arrow, filling him with sorrow.

"Um...I think it goes like this," she muttered, unsuccessfully trying to squeeze a round of bullets into the gun's chamber. It was a pitiful sight to see.

_Kill her._

Suzaku opened his mouth to scream her name, to beg for her to stop. But nothing came out. He tried again, but no words would form. Leaving the Knightmare had turned him mute, powerless to change the course of fate. He cursed internally. Of course things would not be that easy.

_Euphie, please_, he thought desperately. _Please recognize me. Then none of this has to happen. I can save you._

He began walking towards her. She looked up at him—and his stomach dropped. There was nothing in her expression. Not a glimmer of humanity. Only a former shell of the woman he had once loved.

"Oh, I thought you were a Japanese," she said, relieved. "So, I was thinking, we can run the specially administrated zone of Nippon together."

She paused, her face scrunching up. "Nippon…" she murmured, like she was trying to remember something. Maybe trying to resist the Geass.

He could feel the pistol in Zero's coat pressed up against his rib cage, begging to be released. Hot tears sprung to the back of his eyes. _I can't do this_, he thought. _I can't pull the trigger. Not on Euphie._ Some part of him was tempted to give up, to drop everything and rush to her and hold her in his arms. Even if she tried murdering him. Even if it only lasted a second before he went back to C.C., and he would have to tell her that he'd failed.

"Um, excuse me," she called out, interrupting his train of thought. "Are you Japanese?"

_Kill her._

Suzaku jumped. Was it possible that she had recognized him? But—no, if anything, she had recognized Zero, and maybe him as Lelouch.

_Lelouch_. Suzaku could see him now. His face set in a smile, the sword hilt protruding from his chest. His last expression, one of peace and hope.

He gritted his teeth. His fingers wrapped around the pistol.

"Yes. I really wanted to, if I could." The words left his throat before he could stop them. It was not his voice, but Lelouch's speaking over for him, taking control. "You and I, together."

Without thinking, he pulled the pistol out. It nearly fell out of his hands from how badly he was shaking. _Euphemia, why don't you run?_ he thought, even though he knew the answer. _Go and save yourself before it's too late!_

But she did nothing. Only watched him with that blank expression on her face, as if awaiting her own death.

_Kill her._

The smell of smoke mixed with blood, cloying and thick, filled his nostrils. Nausea threatened to knock him off his feet. He squeezed his eyes shut, forcing himself to think of Lelouch's smile. And Euphemia's. The real Euphie, _his_ Euphie, watching down on him from above. Maybe, by some miracle, she would find it in her heart to forgive him one day.

_I'm sorry, Euphie._

Bracing himself, he pulled the trigger.

It was as if everything had happened in slow motion. The gunshot, releasing a deafening blast. The world around him, blurring into the background. And Euphemia falling backwards, like a rag doll that had been pushed over, a bloody hole in her chest.

He wished more than ever that he could finally die.

"_Lelouch...why?_"

He froze. Her voice rang through his head, softly and in pain, hitting him harder than any bullet he could have fired.

"_Farewell, Euphie_." Lelouch's response, too, echoed within. "_You may have been the first girl I ever loved_."

Amidst everything, Suzaku caught his breath. He must have heard wrong.

What did Lelouch say?

That he had once _loved_ her?

But what about the confession he had made at the Kururugi Shrine? Controlling Euphie to use Japan? For so long it had been the reason he despised Lelouch, the center of his hatred, the reason he had forsaken him to the Emperor. Lelouch had killed Euphie. Therefore, Lelouch had deserved retribution.

It could not have been a lie. Not this, too. Not the reason he had betrayed his friend.

_I can't lose anything else._

The dizzying smell of iron brought him back to his senses. Lying before him was Euphemia, crumpled on the ground. Her eyes were closed. Blood flowed out of her chest, pooling around her, staining the cracked debris. Some tiny part of him considered how the original Suzaku should have flown in by now, but it did not matter. She was already beyond saving.

_In the end, I'm nothing more than a murderer. That's all I'll ever be._

His legs buckled. He crawled, on his hands and knees, to her body. Blood soaked through his robes. He gathered her in his arms, her head lolling back. Desperately, weakly, he clasped her lifeless hand in his. "_Euphie_," he whispered, his speech returning, his voice cracking. He pressed her hand up against the helmet. "Please, Euphie, open your eyes. It's me, Euphie. I'm right here. I've got you. Please don't leave me."

He silently prayed with all of his heart. She was right there, finally in his arms. All she had to do was see him one more time. So he could tell her how much he loved her. Like before. Just one more time, and then everything would be all right.

But it was different this time. It was already too late for her, for both of them. Her body was as cold and lifeless as the concrete surrounding her.

Euphie was gone.

Something inside of him shattered. The tears finally came forth, pouring down in waterfalls. He was plummeting down an endless abyss, far too fast, with nothing to catch his fall.

He raised his head to the heavens. Out from his throat rose a guttural scream.

_I have lost everything_, he thought. _Everything_.


	6. The Day a Demon Was Reborn

** ** _"Even so, I long for tomorrow!" — Lelouch vi Britannia_

* * *

"Suzaku? Are you all right?"

Suzaku was dimly aware of someone speaking. The world had faded into a blur of color and sound. He had no recollection of how long he'd been there, on his knees, staring ahead.

"Hey, Suzaku? Can you hear me?"

With effort, he lifted his head. "C.C.?"

"Do you know where you are?" She kneeled down. "How do you feel?"

"What? How do I feel?"

"Yes. Tell me, quickly."

"I…" His voice trailed off. He couldn't think of anything to say. "I'm fine."

"No, you're not." She cupped one hand to his cheek. "Your face is the color of chalk. And you're sweating."

"I am?" He raised a hand to his forehead. Sure enough, his fingers came away wet. "But I don't feel warm."

"No, your skin is cold." She leaned in closer. "Do you realize you're trembling right now?"

"What?"

"You're trembling. Can you hear me?"

She sounded far away, as if muffled in a haze of fog. A looming sense of exhaustion tingled at the corners of his mind, tempting him into darkness.

"Suzaku, stay with me!" C.C. cried from a distance. Or maybe she was shouting into his ear. He could not tell. "After everything you've gone through, you cannot die now!"

_Die?_ Suzaku wondered, his thoughts clouded._ Is that it? I'm dying? At last?_

If so, then his Geass was not activating as expected. _How strange. _He felt like he should have been scared. Most people, normal people, likely would have been. But was this such a bad thing? Maybe all of this had been hopeless from the start. Maybe this was the only way to be reunited with Lelouch. And Euphie.

Maybe it was meant to be this way all along.

He could feel himself relaxing, the feeling seeping out of his body, as if he were sinking into a cloud. His eyes glued shut. C.C.'s voice had also faded, leaving him to his solitude. Something tugged at the edges of his memory. Something important. But he could not bring himself to respond. The turbulence of thoughts calmed into a quiet—the first time they had done so in years. He had always imagined dying to be painful, but this...this is what he had wanted for so long.

To find peace.

_Finally._

But right before he could succumb, something pricked at him. A numbing sensation, as if he had fallen into a lake. Before he could wrap his head around it, a rush of emotions spiked through him—despair, fear, confusion, jealousy, followed by others, too quick for him to process. Shocking through his nerves, as if he'd been struck by lightning. His eyes flew open. He could see angels soaring. The remnants of war-torn countries. Strewn bodies, floating in the rivers of Hell. Wails of suffering echoed in his ears, followed by warm laughter, lighter than sunshine.

_What is this?_ he thought as everything swept past him, making his head spin. _Am I already dead?_

But everything disappeared as quickly as it had come, vanishing into the void. Now he was alone, floating, stranded in limbo. Nearby was the ticking of a clock. Then the voice of someone speaking, a light breaking through the darkness.

"_...what you wanted. You knew the risk._"

_Wait. _He knew that voice. He wrapped his senses around it, like a drowning man clinging to a lifeline, letting it guide him back to reality. Slowly, the darkness peeled away. He could see something else now, a light that spoke of—

Suddenly, he jerked up with a loud gasp. Sweat coated his forehead—he could feel it this time. Air filled his lungs. _Fresh_ air, no longer polluted by smoke. 

_I'm alive._ The acknowledgement came with a rush of gratitude, and a hint of disappointment. _I'm still here. But how?_

"Suzaku!" he heard someone call out. Then, warm arms surrounding him. "Thank goodness, it worked."

"C.C.?" he mumbled, still in a daze. "Is that you?"

She pulled back, her hair trailing over his shoulders as she looked at him with a mixture of relief and confusion. "Of course it is," she said. "Are you all right?"

"Huh? I feel…"

He raised a hand to his head. "Strange. Like I was pulled back from jumping off a cliff."

_"Because you were."_ The Dimensional Supervisor walked up. "_You were on the verge of death, Suzaku Kururugi_."

"Were?" he asked. "What do you mean? How did I come back?"

"You were going into a state of shock." C.C.'s eyes wandered over him, searching for injuries. "You don't remember? We were close to losing you."

"What?" He drew back. "But that can't be possible. I wasn't hurt. I didn't lose any blood."

"_The stress of traveling between dimensions was likely too great for you_," the Dimensional Supervisor said. "_You may not have been injured, but your body could not cope with the constant shift in reality. I suppose it went into shock thereafter._"

"After consideration, the Caretaker agreed to give you a fragment of humanity," C.C. said. "A shard of the human consciousness."

"Human consciousness? Then all those things I saw, those sounds—"

"_A piece of the collective_," the Dimensional Supervisor interrupted. "_The entangled mass of human dreams, hopes, fears and experiences. Though but a sliver, it was enough to shock you back into the world of the living._"

_The world of the living._ So he really _had_ almost died. At the last step of the trial, no less. Only a hair's breadth away from losing Lelouch for eternity.

Suzaku buried his face in his hands. Maybe all of this was a nightmare. The trial. Lelouch's fate. His nearly broken promise to Sayoko. And worst of all, Euphemia. How her murder continuously played back in his head, as if burned into his brain. Her plea with Lelouch. Her dress, soaked with blood. The way her eyes bulged when the bullet pierced her heart.

Maybe he would wake up any minute, the familiar wooden ceilings above him. Nunnally would be next door, asking him to assist her. Just a nightmare.

"Oh God, I can't—I mean, I don't—"

"Shh." C.C. wrapped herself around him, holding him to her chest as he trembled. "It's okay, Suzaku," she murmured, the same way she had comforted Lelouch after Euphemia’s fall from grace. The same cycle of suffering, repeating itself yet again. "It's over now. There was no other way. You did what you had to."

"_Indeed, he did_," the Dimensional Supervisor agreed. "_Congratulations are in order, Suzaku Kururugi, though I suspect the most difficult part is yet to come. Not to mention_," she added with a sly smile, "_the consequences that may arise from your actions. How bold of you to shoot her._"

Her words were a slap in the face. Snarling, Suzaku pushed C.C. aside as he got to his feet, only to stumble as his legs gave way. He weakly clung onto her shoulder, the world spinning. "This was your fault," he spat out. "You put me through this. You made me kill her."

"_Nonsense_." The Dimensional Supervisor scoffed. "_She was already dead. You were only reliving a moment in time._"

"This was your idea. How could you do this? To _Euphie_?!"

"_You agreed you would do anything, did you not?_" Her expression was unreadable. "_This should have come as no surprise. You were being challenged, after all._"

"To hell with—"

But C.C.'s hand slipped into his before he could finish, her skin as cold as ice. Without saying a word, she gently squeezed his fingers.

He bit down on his tongue, the warning clear. He supposed God was in the right—she had given them a challenge. Just as promised. But he never would have imagined Euphie to be involved. Her death was the one line, the one act of cruelty, he had not expected them to cross.

"Fine," he forced out. There was nothing more he could do. Not for now, anyway. "So, what now?" He looked around as he spoke. They were back at the Sword of Akasha, atop the floating platform, the realm deathly quiet. "Where is Lelouch?"

"_The contract had two parts. Kallen Kōzuki has yet to return._" The Dimensional Supervisor gestured to the space beside him. "_Should she fail, the deal is null and void_."

"She won't," Suzaku snapped. "Kallen won't give up so easily."

"Suzaku, relax," C.C. said. "We have time. We'll wait for her."

She gave his hand another squeeze, this time more reassuringly. But it did nothing to suppress the surge of hatred, one that drove him to wrap his fingers around the Dimensional Supervisor's throat. Until she felt the weight of his suffering and begged for mercy. Instead, he reluctantly nodded. "Alright," he said. "For Kallen."

Silence fell as they waited. Seconds turned into minutes, stretching into what felt like years, the Sword of Akasha paying no heed to his impatience. Suzaku's thoughts began jumping around, one after the other. Could Kallen be in trouble? Would she also go into shock? And how would he find her, and Lelouch, if she didn't make it back? _It can't end here._ They had come too far for it to end here. Going back without either of them was a reality he could not accept.

Finally, he heard C.C. break the silence. "I think I see something."

He whirled around. There, by the edge of the platform, was someone wearing red. Lying on the ground, curled up in a ball.

"Kallen!" Suzaku found himself sprinting, nearly tripping over a broken pillar. "Are you all right?"

Upon reaching her, he knelt down. She was trembling, like a fallen leaf against the autumn wind. Her face was devoid of color. "I...I..."

"Kallen, come on." He gently placed a finger under her chin, lifting her up. "Hey. Look at me. We're here, Kallen. We're back in our reality. You made it through."

"It doesn't matter." Her eyes were wet. She stared past him, as if he were not there. "I had to kill him, Suzaku."

_Her, too?_ "Who, Kallen?"

"Naoto. My brother." Her voice broke. "He was the last one alive. He almost made it out of the ambush. And I was forced to...to…"

"...To kill him, weren't you?" said C.C., walking up. She crouched next to him, her expression one of pity. "You had to cut his life short. One life for another."

"I thought," Kallen mumbled to no one in particular, "that it would be us getting hurt. Getting tortured. I didn't think...I didn't expect—"

"Kallen, it's okay." Suzaku pulled her close to him, allowing her to bury her face in his shoulders, unable to stop herself from weeping. He could feel his own tears threatening to leak out. The self-hatred, the breaking, the sense of complete loss—he would not have wished a fate on his worst enemy. If only there was something he could have done.

"I'm sorry, Kallen," he murmured. "I'm so sorry."

"_Well done, both of you._" The Dimensional Supervisor approached them. "_The witch was right. Consider us wrong in our assumptions. Both of you hold greater willpower than ordinary humans._"

"Spare us your compliments," Suzaku hissed. "You got what you wanted."

"_You forget, I exact no reward from this._" She shrugged. The movement seemed so...human. As if she actually possessed a shred of humanity. "_What pleasure could I derive from your suffering?_"

"Stop," Kallen protested weakly. "Please. Just...where is Lelouch? We passed. We did everything you asked for. Please, give him back to us."

"Remember your word, Caretaker," C.C. reminded. "No hidden agendas."

"_Yes._" She nodded. "_The contract has been fulfilled. In return for proving the strength of your hearts, we shall heed your request._" She lifted her arm. The Geass in her palm was glowing. "_Lelouch vi Britannia will be reborn. A second chance at life._"

Kallen gasped. "Wait, really?" she whispered. Her fingers dug into his shoulder. "We did it, Suzaku. _We actually did it_. Lelouch is coming back."

But Suzaku's eyes narrowed. "Yeah...we did."

He looked over at C.C.. She, too, did not seem at ease, nor even excited. Instead she was watching the Dimensional Supervisor intently. As if she had detected a hidden detail amidst a sea of false promises. "Caretaker…" she began. "You promised."

"_And we intend to fulfill our promise. You want your friend back, do you not?_"

"This was not part of our deal." Her tone grew darker. "Do you realize the implications?"

"_Do you?_" The Dimensional Supervisor seemed to have no intention of backing down. "_You understand the universal law, correct? For your wish to be granted, this is what must be done._"

C.C. pursed her lips together. "Still…"

Suzaku heard Kallen take a sharp breath. Her fingers dug in deeper, almost painfully. "C.C.?" he said, staring back and forth between them. "What's going on?"

"It's nothing." Her tone implied that it was anything but. "At least, I hope it's nothing."

The symbol in the Dimensional Supervisor's palm was glowing brighter. Once again, her hair was blown by an invisible force, the ribbon around her flowing freely. "_As it was written, so it shall be done. Lelouch vi Britannia shall be there when you reawaken. In the world of humanity._"

Suddenly, she grinned. A cruel smile that sent a chill through Suzaku, down into his bones. _Why_, out of all times, was she smiling like that now?

"_But remember this_," she said. Her voice had grown deeper, arising from the mouth of a demon. "_The greater the desire, the heavier the consequence. And for every wish made true, there comes a price to be paid._"

Before Suzaku could react, a white light radiated out from her Geass, overpowering them as it covered the Thought Elevator. He braced himself, trying to shield Kallen with his body. As he fell in, his senses giving way to the blinding light, he could not help but feel that they had made a terrible mistake.

* * *

The first thing he noticed was the wind. Suzaku gasped, his feet landing on solid ground. Gusts of wind were blowing at him. Battering his hair. Spitting gravel in his face.

He coughed. Slowly, he lowered his arms. He was back in the cavern, the first glow of daylight emerging on the horizon. The countless rocks and pillars were gazing out, watching the sky in silence. Surprise overcame him. They had arrived at Kamine in the dead of night. Had they really only been gone for a few hours?

He looked down—and grimaced. His Knight of Zero suit was completely ruined. The fabric was covered in dust, dirt, and blood—Euphie's blood?—and torn in multiple places. No more than evidence now; he would have to dispose of it when he got the chance.

Behind him, the Thought Elevator lay in silence. The red light it exuded from before was gone, leaving an immovable wall of stone. As if it had been in slumber for the past millennia. He exhaled, not realizing that he had been holding in his breath. They had survived the World of C. So if they had completed the trial and returned to the real world, then that must mean…

He looked around. C.C. was kneeling by a pile of rocks, watching over something—or someone—else. She had her back turned to him, her hair flowing down her straitjacket, covering it from view. He gulped, his throat as dry as sandpaper. And took one step towards her. "C.C.?"

She glanced over her shoulder. Her eyes were wet. A small smile rested on her cheeks. She looked happy—truly, genuinely happy—for the first time in a long time. "Do you want to see him, Suzaku?"

It was coming back. The sensation of falling down an endless chasm, beyond the point of no return. He took another step. "Is...is it him, C.C.?"

Her expression softened. "Come see for yourself."

She shifted to one side, gesturing before her. His mind a complete blank, Suzaku staggered forward. It was as if he were wading through a pool of quicksand. He had never felt a greater distance than the few feet between him and C.C. at that moment.

Finally, he could see him. His head was propped up against the rocks, and he still wore the white robes of Britannian nobility, just as pristine as the day he had died. His expression belonged to that of a man who had found peace.

Lelouch.

The ground beneath him gave way, causing Suzaku to collapse to his knees. A multitude of feelings—hatred, anger, joy, confusion—bubbled up inside him, about to overflow. His heart lurched desperately, an incredibly painful force, trying to claw its way through his chest. Everything they had gone through had been for this. For Lelouch to be alive. Within physical reach. Existing beyond the scope of his most heartfelt dream.

"Lelouch." The name floated off of his lips like a prayer. "He's…"

"Unconscious." C.C. swept aside a lock of his hair. "He will be for a while, I assume. That's what she told me."

"She?" Suzaku mumbled. He was not entirely listening, nor did he actually care.

"The Caretaker. After forging the contract, she warned me that it would take time for him to recover." She shook her head. "How long, I do not know."

"So...he could be unconscious for days. Weeks." The disappointment was grounding him back in reality. "We have no idea."

"Mm. But more importantly, he's alive." She stood up, facing the entrance. "Amazing, isn't it, Suzaku? We persuaded God to bring a mortal back from the dead. I have experienced many things, but this was…"

She smiled to herself, watching the sun rise ever so slowly. "A first."

Suzaku did not respond. There was no blood on Lelouch's chest, the open wound from where Suzaku stabbed him having disappeared. The sunrise covered his face under its glow. He seemed happier now than Suzaku had ever seen him while alive, the same smile still resting on his lips. Back when he realized the Requiem had succeeded, and he had rebuilt the world anew.

He traced a thumb down Lelouch's cheek. A shiver racked through his body. Desire and hatred, in a simultaneous outpour, flooded through his veins. His heart felt like it was about to split it in half, the same pain from that night when C.C. had visited him. It seemed like a lifetime ago. A part of him still wasn't convinced it wasn't all just a dream.

"C.C.." Suzaku didn't know how, but he pushed himself up. He towered over Lelouch, his expression empty. "We did it. The Emperor has returned."

She turned around, her silhouette outlined in gold. "So we have. The Zero Requiem, in the end, has failed."

"Does that upset you?"

"Do I look upset?" The creases around her eyes softened. "Would I have done this otherwise? You know Lelouch is an exception."

"Then it seems we have more in common than I thought," he said, echoing the same words from when Kallen had offered her pact. He walked towards her, holding out his hand. "Will you join me, C.C.?"

"Hm? Join you?"

"In protecting Lelouch. You were once his shield. Will you continue to protect him, so long as I act as his sword?"

"Do you think that will be necessary?"

"Unfortunately, yes. Once the world finds out Lelouch has returned…"

"...they will be unforgiving," C.C. finished. Though her expression did not change, her eyes hardened. "You believe the world will fight back."

Suzaku nodded grimly. "We can't let his safety fall into jeopardy. Things are precarious enough as is."

C.C. let out a small snort. "We're not even home yet, and you're already preparing for the worst. Truly the logic of a soldier."

"So is that a yes?" he pushed on. "Will you help me protect him?"

For a moment, C.C. seemed to be considering it. Then she reached out, her delicate fingers wrapping around his. "Yes," she said. "We traveled to Hell to save him. I refuse to let them take him away."

He nodded, a load having been lifted off of his shoulders. "Never."

"Hey C.C., Suzaku!"

Suzaku looked up. Kallen was standing by the entrance, along with Jeremiah, Cécile and Lloyd. "I brought them back, C.C.," she called out. "Like you asked."

He tensed up; were the other three ready to see Lelouch? Perhaps it was too early for them to—

"Relax," C.C. murmured, leaning in to his ear. "Remember—we need all the help we can get. You know that they're on our side."

Suzaku reluctantly nodded, watching them approach. "You're sure, C.C.?"

"No. But faith has gotten us this far. I believe it can get us a little further."

She drew back, stepping out of the way.

"Did you see him, Suzaku?" Kallen came up to him with a forced smile. The dark circles beneath her eyes betrayed her exhaustion. "We actually did it. _We saved him_. Saved Zero. My God, I still can't believe it."

Suzaku shook his head. "Neither can I. What have we done, Kallen?"

She gazed down at Lelouch's sleeping form, her face caught between conflicting emotions. Was she angry? Relieved? He couldn't tell. "I don't know," she said, as if answering his question. "But Lelouch...you have a lot of explaining to do when you wake up."

"When did you come back, Kallen?"

"The same time as C.C.. We woke up a while ago and found Lelouch unconscious before the Thought Elevator. C.C. took care of him, and I went to retrieve the others from the forest."

"Speaking of which," said Suzaku, spinning around, "where have you three been this whole time?"

"Like Kōzuki said: staying in the forest, of course," Lloyd said cheerfully. He kicked at a pebble, watching it clatter across the floor. "You didn't expect us to sleep in this nasty old cave, did you?"

"Not that Sir Lloyd helped us," Cécile mentioned, grinning. "He did nothing to help us find shelter. Jeremiah had to set up camp by himself."

"You know I'm a man of science, not of nature!"

Cécile ignored him. She dusted off Suzaku's shoulders, checking him up and down, concerned. "Are you okay, Suzaku? You look horrible. What happened in there?"

"I'm fine, Cécile," he reassured, hoping she would not notice the lie. Images of Euphie, fallen angels, and the crooked smirk of God flashed through his head. "We're all fine. What's important is that we made it out. And with Lelouch, no less."

"So you have." She gazed past him. "Lelouch…"

"The demon king himself," Lloyd remarked. "I suppose it's too late for regrets, eh, Suzaku?"

"You know why we wanted to do this, Sir Lloyd," Suzaku said. "Whether you are with us or not."

Cécile giggled. "Well, one of us is definitely with you," she said, gesturing with her chin.

Suzaku turned. Next to Kallen was Jeremiah, kneeling on the floor as he trembled uncontrollably. His hands were clasped before him, begging for deliverance. "Master Lelouch! You have returned!" He let out a shaky laugh. Suzaku could see tears flowing down his cheeks, pummeling the cavern floor. "I knew you would come back! Finally, the day has arrived! The royal family lives on! _All hail Lelouch!_"

"He's so _eager_," said Lloyd amusedly, watching Kallen comfort Jeremiah. "You'd think they were related by blood."

"Blood is not thicker than water, Sir Lloyd," Cécile objected. At that, Suzaku couldn't help but think of his father. "Lelouch was a beacon of hope to many. Before his ascension to the throne."

"And Jeremiah's loyalties lie with the royal family." C.C. joined them, nodding at Suzaku. "We should head out soon. The longer we stay here, the greater the risk of Britannia finding out. We have to hide Lelouch somewhere safe."

"Right. He can stay with me for now—our cabin is hidden from Britannia. Sayoko should have told Nunnally about our mission." He gestured to Lloyd. "Sir Lloyd, do you have a way off the island?"

"I rode a ship here, in fact," he said. "Told the captain it was for classified business. Should be waiting down by the shore. Cécile and I will head back together."

"And C.C.? How did you get here in the first place? You didn't ride with Jeremiah."

"Ah." A smile crept onto her lips. "I was hoping to keep it a surprise. But now is as good a time as any."

She walked away before he could ask, leaving him bewildered. On her way towards the entrance she tapped Kallen on the shoulder, disregarding the sobbing Jeremiah by her feet.

"Come with me, Kallen. I have something to show you."

"Oh? C.C., what do you—"

"It's a surprise. I promise you, you'll like it."

She tugged at her suit, causing Kallen to let out a yelp as C.C. dragged her along. Both soon vanished out of the cave and out of sight.

Cécile rested her cheek in her palm. "So...should we follow them?"

"Curious, are you?" Lloyd teased. "Suzaku, why don't you go observe and report back, hmm? You know the ladies better than we do."

"I don't know if that's—"

A scream rang through the air. Kallen's scream. Before he knew what was happening, Suzaku was already racing across the cave. "_Kallen!_" he shouted, his stomach flipping over. The break of dawn shone against his eyes as he ran out the entrance, the sun rising above the sea. If C.C. had hurt her, or betrayed them…

He looked out over the cliff side—and froze. There, nestled in a spot within the trees, was another Knightmare Frame. Except this model was a dark red, with an orange cabin behind the helm, its build hauntingly familiar. An enormous claw with five steel appendages was attached to one arm.

Suzaku gasped. It was the only Frame that could keep up with the Lancelot, and the very same that almost ended his life in the Battle of Damocles. "That...but that's—"

"Knightmare Frame Guren." C.C. joined him, expressionless. "Since you asked, I flew it here and hid it in the forest."

"But...how?"

"Rakshata owed me a favor after the Black Rebellion. I helped her escape Britannian capture."

Suzaku could make out Kallen below, staring up at it in awe. "So that was why we couldn't find her? _You_ hid her?"

"And Diethard. Before Lelouch returned as Zero. After the Zero Requiem, Rakshata continued work on a backup version, much like Lloyd and his Lancelot."

"You mean a prototype?"

"Exactly. Once she heard Kallen would be the one piloting, she generously lent it to me."

"C.C.!" Kallen called out. She was observing it as if it were a newborn child, her fingers gliding over the outer shell. "Is this why you told me to bring the key? Were you planning this from the start?"

"You're going to give it to her?" Suzaku asked incredulously. "Just like that?"

"What use would I have for a machine like that?" C.C. said. "Besides, Kallen can use it much better than—"

She stopped. Suzaku turned to her, only to see her eyes going round. There was something within that turned his blood into ice, an emotion he had not seen C.C. experience before.

Fear.

"Suzaku. We have to leave, now."

"What?" He whipped his head up, searching through the burning sky. "Why? What did you see?"

"We've been discovered." Her eyes narrowed. "Go inform the others. You need to get off the island."

"What? But—"

"Go. And take Lelouch with you."

She leaned over the edge. "Kallen, do you remember how to pilot the Guren?"

"Huh? Oh, I guess—"

"Get in, now. The enemy is coming."

"Wait, what?" Kallen whirled back, the color draining out of her face. "From where? Britannia?"

"I don't know." The look on C.C.'s face told him everything he needed to know. "But I feel something approaching. Start it up, quickly!"

"A-Alright! I'll try!"

C.C. pushed Suzaku towards the cave. "Why are you standing around? I said, go get Lelouch! _Now!_"

Stumbling, Suzaku ran back, as fast as his legs could carry him, his mind racing uncontrollably. Though he was sweating bullets, it felt like he was drowning in a sea of ice. Right when he thought they had made it out of Hell, disaster continued to follow.

"Lloyd! Cécile!" He slid to a stop. "You have to leave! Someone's found us!"

"What?" Cécile said. "Hey, relax. No one would—"

"There's no time. C.C. said we've been discovered. We need to get out of here, now!"

"Breathe, Suzaku," Lloyd said, visibly concerned. "Let's take a moment to think this through. Did you see anything?"

He opened his mouth to argue, but no words came out. It was true—he had not actually seen anything.

"What is all the commotion?" Jeremiah walked over, scowling. "You'll wake His Majesty up at this rate."

"_Come out, Kururugi!_"

The voice came down from above, a command from the Heavens. Except it belonged to Cornelia, the last person he ever would have wanted to hear at a time like this, echoing from a Knightmare Frame. "_We know you and C.C. are in there!_"

Suzaku choked. He could feel the cave spinning before him, the nausea nearly making him black out. Not Zero, but _Kururugi_.

Somehow, Cornelia had found out. They knew where he was. Which likely meant they knew about C.C.'s plan, too.

They knew he was alive.

"It can't be," he strangled out. "Why now?"

"Well, this is quite a pickle," Lloyd stammered nervously, tugging at his collar. "Caught in the crossfire, eh, Cécile?"

Her eyes were wet. "But...how?" she said, with a small hiccup. "Oh God, Lloyd, if they find us here—"

"Yes." He drew his coat tighter around him, as if it were a shield. "We'll likely be imprisoned, if not executed."

Jeremiah was the first to recover. He shook his head, steeling himself. "No choice then. We fight," he said, his hand reaching down to his belt, wrapping around the hilt of his sword. "We must protect His Majesty. They will be coming for his head."

"And if they destroy the cave instead?" Lloyd said.

"Then we die. Unless we battle in direct combat."

"What?" Cécile blanched. "But that's impossible! We have no weapons!"

Weapons. Of course. Maybe they did not have physical weapons on hand, but they had something else. Suzaku turned to Lloyd, his eyes alight with desperation. It was their only chance. "Lloyd, the Lancelot," he said. "Where is it?"

"Unfortunately, I don't think—"

"_Tell me!_"

"_Suzaku, you and that witch C.C. have thirty seconds before we raze this island to the ground. Starting with that disgusting Geass cave._" Cornelia's command was more of a promise than a threat. "_You're entirely surrounded. Surrender, now!_"

Suzaku's expression darkened. "Lloyd."

"Very well. Cécile and I hid it in the forest. But it's not anywhere close."

"Where?"

"About two miles north, near the waterfall."

"_Two miles?_" Suzaku's jaw dropped. "We'll never make it if we go by foot! They'll shoot us down!"

"Better think fast, Kururugi," Jeremiah muttered. He was already crouching in front of Lelouch's body, preparing to spring into battle. "We're running out of time. Any ideas?"

Suzaku wanted to slam the wall out of frustration. He desperately racked his brain for something, anything; even a false hope might have been comforting. But his mind was as blank as a sheet of paper. There was no way he could handle Lelouch, fend off Cornelia, and escape all at the same time. No matter how he tried to tackle the situation, it all led back to the same conclusion. Death.

"There's nothing we can do." He felt the sting of tears near the back of his eyes. Lelouch's Geass was starting to burn, commanding him to run for it. But it was of no use—he would just get shot down if he tried escaping. "We're surrounded."

His nails dug into his palms. Was this really it? Without ever finding out who had betrayed him, or hearing Lelouch's voice one more time? He had failed Sayoko. Failed Nunnally. Worst of all, he had failed Lelouch. After being granted a second chance, and after all they had gone through, Lelouch would never even get to see the light of day.

"_Your time is up._" Cornelia sounded almost pleased. "_Soldiers, we fire on my mark!_"

His eyes turned to Lelouch, sleeping peacefully. At the very least, the Emperor would continue resting in peace—the thought provided him with a bit of comfort. But there had been so much that he had wanted to say, so many questions that needed answers. And Lelouch would never come to know the contents of his heart. Although he told himself otherwise, it left a hole in his chest even now.

"I'm sorry, Lelouch," he murmured, broken.

"My, you give up quickly, don't you?"

Her voice came from nowhere. He jumped back in surprise. "C.C., what are you doing here?" he exclaimed. "They're going to blow this place up!"

"Not yet. We have one last resort." She nodded at the entrance. Suzaku could see the Knightmares floating dangerously close, preparing to open fire. "Did you forget about Kallen?"

He sucked in a breath. "Are you telling me she's us—"

"_Cornelia!_"

Kallen screamed as the Guren soared into the air. All Suzaku could see was red as it charged with the force of a dragon, the Radiant Wave Surger forcing the soldiers back. Two green energy wings extended from its back. Like a crimson harbinger of death, it shone against the rising daybreak, blocking out the sun.

"That's the Guren!" Cécile sounded breathless. "But how is it here? Where did it come from?"

"Damn it, Rakshata," Lloyd muttered to himself. "Stealing my idea again? You _snake_."

"_The red demon? But it can't be!_" As he ran to Lelouch's body, Suzaku could make out the horror in Cornelia's voice. "_It was destroyed in the war! How could this—"_

"Surprised, Cornelia?" Kallen's face broke into a twisted smile. "Let's see your pawns fight this!"

She slammed her fist down. Small, black spheres shot out from behind the cockpit, leaving trails of smoke in their wake. Each produced a disk of energy as they flashed green, surrounding the soldiers' Frames. She flew past them without a second thought.

"A Gefjun Disturber net?" Suzaku mumbled, glancing back in wonder. Shaking his head, he leaned down as he wrapped his arms around Lelouch's chest. "Kallen, you just saved our lives. Thank you."

* * *

"The Knightmares are stuck!" a soldier cried out. "Princess, what should we do?!"

"_Attack them inside on foot!_" she commanded. "_You are to kill whoever you see! Take no prisoners with you!_"

"Yes, Your Highness!"

Kallen whirled back, zeroing in on the soldiers descending. "Oh, no you—"

"_I'm afraid not._" Cornelia's Gloucester was suddenly floating behind her, its lance poised to strike. Kallen froze. Didn't her Knightmare get destroyed during the Black Rebellion? And since when could it _fly_? "_You will face me, pilot. I, Cornelia li Britannia, am your enemy!_"

"Damn it," Kallen muttered, her knuckles white against the levers. "So, you want to fight, Cornelia?"

She spun the Guren in a circle, the heel of its foot connecting with the Gloucester's helm. A crunch could be heard as she launched it back. Kallen followed in pursuit, the claw crackling with red energy. She was going to end things, and she was going to end things _now_.

Cornelia steadied herself, flying out of harm's way as Kallen lunged. In one fluid movement, she spun the lance above her head and brandished it before her. "_This shall be your last fight. You and those traitors are to die here!_"

Suddenly, she charged straight ahead like a raging bull at a matador. Kallen felt a spark of adrenaline watching Cornelia close the distance, the colors of the rising sun behind her. Once she wrapped her claw around that lance and activated the Radiant Wave Surger, it would all be over. The Gloucester would be destroyed, and Cornelia's treachery along with it. "That won't work, Cornelia!" She leaned forward in her seat. Victory was within reach. "Take this!"

She swung the arm forward, aiming straight for the weapon's tip. Her jaw clenched, waiting for the Guren to close around its target. But it never came—the claw grabbed at thin air. Kallen gasped, too late to react as Cornelia feinted, before diving below and stabbing upward, striking at her leg.

"No!" she cried, the Frame shuddering from the attack. She slammed down on the thrusters, the Guren flying up. But not before the Gloucester released its Slash Harkens, chasing after her. A frustrated grunt escaped her as she attempted to outmaneuver them, the Guren somersaulting in the air. Three Slash Harkens flew past her, narrowly missing their mark. Her relief was short lived as the final blade stabbed into her chest.

"_Is that all you've got, soldier?_" Cornelia called out, her voice dripping with contempt. "_Whether or not you're the original Black Ace, you may as well be dead already._"

Instead of closing in for combat like Kallen had hoped, the Gloucester withdrew the blades back into its shoulders. She scowled. Of course—it was Cornelia, the Military Princess. She should have known better than to expect her to challenge the Radiant Wave Surger head-on.

She glanced at her damage output levels. Noncritical, but the injuries already placed her at a disadvantage. "I don't remember it being so fast," she muttered. "They must have upgraded it." She gazed down. The Gloucester was below, taunting her. "If you want me dead, you'll have to do a lot better than that!"

Suddenly she made the Guren drop, spinning vertically, its injured leg soaring down like a hammer. Cornelia dodged out of the way—just as expected. Slamming to a stop, she immediately slashed out with her Fork Knife, cutting across the Gloucester's shoulder. Sparks flew as the blade sunk into metal. Before Cornelia could react, she swung the claw into the Frame's chest, seizing hold.

"I've got you now, Princess!"

"_Not yet!_" Before Kallen could start the reaction sequence, the Gloucester swung its lance up and inward, stabbing into the arm. It suddenly began to twist, faster and faster, forming into a drill. Circuits tore out as it destroyed the machinery.

"Shit!" Kallen immediately drew back in retreat, fearing the worst. Wires were hanging out of the claw. Entire sections had been torn off. But it seemed to be functioning, at least. 

"_So. You do have some skill in you_," Cornelia said, amused. "_Good. I was hoping this wouldn't be too easy_."

A section of the Gloucester's hip flew open. Cornelia drew forth an enormous silver rifle, the size and build of a small cannon. She aimed it at the Guren's head. "_Regardless, you shall not escape!_"

Kallen gasped. Glowing lines of green ran throughout it, a piece of alien technology. It had to have been on the same specs as the Lancelot's cannon, if not better. One critical hit and her machine would be destroyed.

But Cornelia wasn't the only one with a long-range weapon. And yet, she had limited resources. Rakshata would not be there to save her this time. The Radiant Wave Surger would have to be enough.

"That's what you think, Cornelia!" Kallen cried. The massive claw rushed forward, as if it had a life of its own. A beam of red energy, thick as a tree trunk, shot out from its palm, slicing through the air. Cornelia blasted her cannon, a crackling pillar of white energy at breakneck speed. As the two met head on, a force surged outwards—a collision between two forces of nature, the trees shivering under its might. Gusts of razor wind, sharp as knives, blew up against her. Waves pushed out against the ocean. Clumps of the Earth tore up, the fields of grass sent flying.

Kallen watched on, gaping, her face glowing under the light. "The Radiant Wave Surger...it's not enough? What the hell is that? How could a gun be as strong as a Hadron Cannon?"

"Just as I thought," Cornelia said as she withdrew her rifle, the light from their collision fading away. "_Your machine is naught but history, red devil. Now, prepare yourself!_"

She soared ahead, poised to strike Kallen at her core. Barely recovering in time, Kallen dodged back before jerking her elbow out, chipping the Gloucester in the shoulder. They were soon dancing around one another, soaring in circles. Striking out, blocking, retreating, attempting to capitalize on the other's weak point.

As she released her Slash Harkens, Kallen could feel her frustration growing. If she could just break through Cornelia's defences and hit her again with the Radiant Wave Surger, the Princess would be done for. But she had little chances to spare, and time was not on her side—the longer their battle drew out, the more likely Cornelia would receive backup. She had to finish things, and quickly.

Her expression twisted. A part of her was screaming to check if they were still at the cave. But that would mean letting her guard down. And the instant she looked back or lost focus, Cornelia would be all over her, like a wolf pouncing on its prey.

"Come on, Suzaku," she muttered to herself, narrowly avoiding another thrust from Cornelia's lance. Sparks flew past her ear. "You better make it out of this. Lelouch needs you."

* * *

"L-Lord Jeremiah? And Sir Lloyd? What is going on?!"

The Britannian soldiers stood before the entrance with guns in their hands, frozen in place. They looked as if they had seen a ghost.

"Yes, your eyes do not deceive you." Jeremiah had a wide grin plastered on his face. The light from the sunrise shone off his orange mask. "I have returned, soldiers. Pay your respects to Jeremiah Gottwald, previous captain of the Royal Guard!"

"W-What do we do?" The soldier who spoke looked to his comrades. "The Princess didn't mention them being here!"

"Well, she gave us strict orders. Shoot th—"

"Ah, ah, ah, I wouldn't do that if I were you," Lloyd interrupted, wagging a finger. From further back, crouching against the wall and hiding in the shadows, Suzaku almost shook his head. The amount of confidence Lloyd had was remarkable. "Your orders were to kill Suzaku and a witch. But as you can see, we are the only ones here. Do we look like either of them? You don't want to betray your country, do you?"

"What? Why are you even—"

"I doubt it's your place to question the actions of a higher-ranking official," Lloyd teased. With one finger, he pushed his glasses up. "Now why don't you three put down the guns, hm? I'm sure we can settle this peacefully."

The soldiers faltered for a brief moment, slightly lowering their arms. It was all the time Jeremiah needed. He reached into his overalls and pulled something out before flinging with expertise, as quick as lightning.

Lloyd backed up as the three soldiers toppled forward, a silver kunai jutting from each of their heads. "Good Lord, Orange, where did you learn to do that?"

"I fought a ninja once. We ended up as comrades, and she taught me a trick or two." Jeremiah shrugged. "A surprise attack is the best weapon. They were fools to let down their guard."

"Well done, Jeremiah." C.C. stepped out from the shadows. She gestured towards the back of the cave. "Hurry, Suzaku. Take Lelouch and head towards the waterfall. You'll find the Lancelot along the way."

"But what about the rest of you?" Suzaku said, hoisting Lelouch by the chest as Cécile carried his legs. Perhaps it was due to his exhaustion, but for someone so frail, Lelouch felt like a bag of bricks.

"I can leave with Jeremiah. Kallen is battling Cornelia, but I don't know how much time that will buy us. You're the only way Lelouch can make it out of here."

"But…" Suzaku looked to each of them. "I can't just leave you all here!"

"Soldiers can't be sympathetic, remember, Suzaku?" Lloyd leaned an elbow on him, seemingly unaware that he was carrying a body. "Besides, Cécile and I can talk our way out if we need. Right, Cécile?"

Under the darkness of the cave, Cécile smiled sheepishly. "Well, I've never been one to tell lies...but I suppose, if I must. You're the most capable of us all, Suzaku. Take Lelouch and run. Get somewhere safe. You're his last hope."

_His last hope_. Suzaku grimaced, as if in pain. Then he nodded, steeling himself with resolve. "Okay. For His Majesty. I promise, I won't let you down."

"Then we have a plan." Jeremiah raised a hand to his eyes. The Guren and the Gloucester were still dueling in the skies, a clash between two furious blurs of color. "Kallen is holding her own, though I'm not sure how much longer she'll last."

C.C. walked out, her straitjacket swaying in the wind. "You'll have to move fast, Suzaku. If you travel through the forest, you should be ab—"

Her words came to a stop. A jarring explosion had risen from the trees—the sound of a gun being fired. Suzaku looked up, alarmed. "C.C.?"

"Lady C.C., are you all right?" Jeremiah asked. He reached out to help her before his expression gave way to shock. "Lady C.C.!"

She was stumbling backwards, as if she could no longer remember how to walk, her arms hanging lifelessly by her sides. As she slammed against the cavern wall, eyes wide and gasping for air, Suzaku saw the gaping wound in her chest.

"_C.C.!_" He nearly dropped Lelouch. "Are you—"

"I'm fine," she gritted out. Her hand flew up, trying to slow the blood as it dripped through her fingers. "You know this is temporary. Don't...let this stop you!"

"We got her!" Suzaku felt his heart sink. The voice of a soldier, coming from the treetops. Which meant there had to be a whole army waiting. "We shot the witch! Quickly, go after her!"

"Damn it!" Jeremiah spat. His veins looked like they were about to pop out of his neck. "More of them?!"

"What do we do now?" Suzaku said, tightening his hold around Lelouch's chest. He could feel Lelouch's chin digging into his arm, his hair caressing over his sleeve. "We can't let them get to Lelouch!"

"They won't." Jeremiah's lips curled into a snarl. His hand flew back to his belt. "Not if I can help it."

"Jeremiah, what are you—"

"Is that all you can do, you vermin?" He pulled out his sword and held it above his head, as if it were a beacon of hope. A crazed laugh escaped him. It seemed to shake the cavern walls. "Pathetic. Let me show you what real power looks like! _You will not make it past Sir Orange!_"

Before Suzaku could stop him, Jeremiah was sprinting out the cave. Bullets rained past him as he leaped over the edge, shouting out a battle cry. Then he was gone from sight. Suzaku's jaw dropped to the floor. "Is he insane?" he shouted, his voice strangled. For all he knew, the farmer could be dead already. The thought of it made him sick. "He just went and got himself killed!"

"It's more than that," Cécile said solemnly. "He sacrificed himself for us."

"But why? How could he be so—"

"Stupid?" Lloyd finished. "That's what soldiers do, Suzaku. At least with half his body being made of metal, he'll stand a chance. And he _is_ an experienced fighter."

"But—"

"You would have done the same thing." Cécile nodded down at Lelouch. "For him."

Suzaku's face contorted with pain. So this is what things had come to. _For Lelouch..._

"Now, you must go. Quickly." Suzaku had never heard Lloyd sound so serious. "Take Lelouch and go through the forest—you're more likely to lose them that way. Head north from here until you reach the broken tree, then follow the path east. It will take you to what seems like a dead end. The Lancelot will be hiding on the other side."

"Understood." Though his heart still ached, he nodded. "Thank you Lloyd, Cécile. Please get back safe."

"You too, Suzaku." Cécile gave him a thankful nod. "Now leave, while you still can. Hurry!"

She released him. With some effort, he swung Lelouch up, carrying him in both arms. As he marched towards the exit, his eye caught on to C.C.'s still form. She was sprawled on the ground, her eyes closed. A pool of blood flowed beneath her.

"I'll save him, C.C." he whispered. He could now hear bullets being fired, the cries of soldiers being struck down. Against all odds, Jeremiah had given them a second miracle. He would not take his, nor Kallen's, for granted. "We had a deal. I'll be his sword, no matter what it takes."


	7. The White Knight Falls

_"We both knew it back in the World of C. How people long for the future." — Suzaku Kururugi_

* * *

"_Damn it._"

Suzaku grimaced in pain. Blood was soaking down his leg, the bullet wound making him see stars. The soldiers' ambush had taken him by surprise, though they had not been swift enough to kill him. His years of martial arts training, along with his Geass, had given him the upper hand.

Their bodies lay unconscious on the dirt. But a few had scurried off into the trees and escaped, no doubt planning to return with reinforcements. He would have to find the Lancelot, and quickly. They would not survive a second attack.

"Come on, Lelouch, wake up," he muttered, knowing it would be of no use. "I could use your help right now."

No response. He swore under his breath. Escaping alone was doable, but ensuring that they both survived seemed nigh impossible. Kallen was busy with Cornelia, C.C. was incapacitated, and Jeremiah…

A twinge of pain blossomed in his chest. He was on his own.

He struggled to limp onward, trying to ignore the agony shooting up his leg. He could hear commands being assigned in the distance. Probably to swarm him in a pincer movement, or to cut off his retreat. If only he had the time to hide and wait them out.

_God damn Britannians._

His eyes turned down. The muddy trail below his feet was barely discernible. Ferns and hanging vines were reaching out, trying to block his way, desperate to touch him. Small branches and pine needles were caught in his hair. The sunlight was now breaking through the treetops, casting him under a mosaic of light.

Every muscle in his body ached. He must have looked a mess, being coated in muck and injuries, his suit torn beyond repair. If Nunnally were to see him now...

_Wait a minute._ He perked up. Was that the sound of rushing water? Or was he hearing things from loss of blood?

_The waterfall. Lloyd said it was by the waterfall._ He tried moving faster, despite the pain. _We're near. We have to be. Please, God. If you can hear me, let me save him._

It was growing louder. He could hear riptides. Waves crashing into one another. A steady rumbling, like the roar of a lion. It came from beyond the trees and to the north.

The leaves and sunlight seemed to blend before his eyes. His mind was turning numb, his thoughts slowing. The Lancelot. He had to find the Lancelot. With its protection and firepower, he could make it off the island. And then he would take Lelouch home. And then they would be safe. And then—

"No," he said out loud, shaking his head. No, it would not be that easy. Now that Cornelia was out for blood, she had taken them by surprise. They were already three steps behind. The battle was far from over.

His foot knocked against hardened wood. He looked up in surprise. The path had come to a stop before a dip, the ground curving down into a ravine. Dead trees surrounded the miniature cliff side like guards standing on duty. An alarm went off in his head. What was it that Lloyd had said? That the Lancelot would be on the other side of a dead end?

"There has to be some way around here," he mumbled, looking left and right. The forest enshrouded him, hiding his surroundings. "The waterfall is near. This has to be it."

He made to move to the side. Maybe he could find a way around. But the pain flared up before he could explore, making him almost drop Lelouch. He fell to one knee.

"Ugh," he groaned, his eyes falling shut. His arms had become numb after carrying Lelouch for so long. Colors danced before his eyelids. "I can't. I'm sorry, Lelouch."

As gently as he could, he set Lelouch down onto the dirt, the soft moss brushing against his cheek. It still felt strange, seeing Lelouch so at peace. Even while unconscious the emperor looked so _serene_, like some prince out of a fairy tale. Perhaps he was dreaming of the peaceful world he had created.

Well, used to be peaceful. That illusion was definitely gone now.

He collapsed, falling against a tree, before glancing down at his wound. And winced—it was much worse than he had thought. Warm blood was trickling down all the way to his shoes. Using his teeth, he tore off a strip of dirtied cloth from his sleeve and bound it around his leg, forming a makeshift tourniquet. As his hands worked, he silently thanked Cécile—her constant nagging at him to learn first aid had paid off.

There. It was not much, but it would keep him from bleeding out. Hopefully keep him alive long enough to see Lelouch home. His head knocked back against the trunk, the rough bark scraping against his neck. Thankfully the shade kept them under its cover, sparing them from the heat. He could feel his eyes sliding shut, his limbs turning into stone. He should not be resting, he knew—the Britannians could stumble upon them at any moment, and then they would be good as dead. But if he passed out along the way, they would end up dead regardless. And he was tired. So incredibly tired, as if he had walked the last few miles with lead weights in his shoes.

He doubted sleep alone would cure the weariness in his soul. But for now, it felt more than enough.

"So. This is where you were hiding."

Suzaku's eyes flew open. "Who's there?" he demanded, his eyes searching among the shadows. Leaning against the trunk, he shakily rose to his feet, the panic taking hold. A brief lapse in judgement, a moment of weakness, and now they had been discovered. _Stupid, stupid, stupid_. "Show yourself!"

"It's been a while, Suzaku."

The first thing he saw was white against green. He scowled. Another Knightmare pilot? But before he could guess, a young man broke through the foliage. He wore the outfit of a knight—the Knight of Rounds, to Suzaku's surprise—and had his blond hair combed back, with three long braids falling past his neck. They floated gently in the breeze.

"When they told me you were alive, I thought it was a joke. I couldn't believe it. Now, I kinda wish it was."

"_Gino?_" Suzaku was too shocked to even be alarmed. The Knight of Three looked no different since the last time he had seen him, nearly a year ago. "What are you—"

"Hold up. You're in no position to ask questions, buddy." That was when he noticed the gun in Gino's hand. "Last I remember, you supposedly died after fighting Kallen. And now...what? You've come back without telling me? Without telling anyone?" Determination filled his blue eyes. "I can't just accept that quietly, you know."

"Gino, you have no idea what's going on." Suzaku's voice caught in his throat. He had to still be asleep, lying against the tree trunk, caught in a dream. Or maybe he was awake and hallucinating. Either way, this couldn't be real.

"I bet you're wondering how I got here, huh?" Gino smirked. "Ha, your face is priceless. You totally are."

"That's the least of it! Gino, _please_, listen to me—"

"Why should I do that," he interrupted, "when you've been hiding from us this whole time? You know, for someone who wants the truth, you sure do lie a lot. And you've even brought back—"

He glanced to Lelouch. His expression darkened. "_...him._"

"I can explain." Suzaku moved to stand in front of Lelouch, limping weakly. He spread his arms out. "But you can't kill him."

"I heard you and Lelouch had returned. They told me you resurrected him." Gino raised one eyebrow. "I know you're best friends and all, but really, Suzaku? The demon emperor?"

"There's more to it than that," Suzaku said. "Lelouch did more for this world than you realize."

"Yeah? And what'd he do, besides almost destroy it?" Gino shook his head in disgust. "God, Suzaku, why, out of _everyone_, would you bring him back? Matter of fact, how the hell did you—"

His hand tightened around the gun. "Never mind. You were helping him from the start. I don't know what I expected."

"To protect you! All of you!" Suzaku could hear his voice rising into a scream. "You don't know the truth. About any of this! How do you know Britannia isn't lying about this too?"

"I know enough. And even if they are, as long as it prevents this guy from coming back," he said, gesturing to Lelouch with his pistol, "then maybe they're not wrong."

"Have you gone mad?" Suzaku said. "Cornelia is starting a war. She's disrupting the peace he created! You don't have a problem with that?"

"You don't know what you're talking about, Kururugi."

"Do you?" His heart was pounding so loudly, he wondered whether Gino could hear it. "What did they offer you, Gino? Higher standing in the army? Ten pieces of gold?"

"Ha! Looks like you still got some bite to you." Gino chuckled. "That's good to see. I was afraid you'd turned into a zombie or something." He stepped forward, knocking the gun against his hip. "It's too bad. If it weren't for my duty, I would've loved to catch up."

"Duty?" Suzaku warily moved back, not taking his eyes off of the pistol. "What duty? You're in charge of the soldiers?"

"Yeah. Temporary captain of the ground force. They're low on officers, since, y'know, we haven't gone to war for a while. Cornelia requested me specifically to lead the mission. Said to go after you if you made it out the cave." He gave Suzaku a wink. "Guess it's my lucky day, eh?"

"Gino, no." Fear spread through Suzaku like wildfire. With his injury and Lelouch as an open target, there was no way he could win. Even without the gun, Gino was just as good a fighter as he was. "Please don't do this."

"Do what? Follow orders from my superior, as a captain should? What else would you have me do?"

"You don't have to listen to her. You could help me. Help us—"

"You're kidding, right?" Gino said. "It's a personal request from the government. Did you forget what country I'm loyal to?"

"If you're loyal to Britannia, you should be helping me!" he exclaimed. "Lelouch was once Emperor!"

"And look how that turned out." Gino shrugged. "He brought the world to its knees. Sorry for not feeling bad, but I think my decision was right in the end."

"It wasn't. You don't understand."

"See, you keep saying that, but even I realize Lelouch is bad news. And then you go about bringing back the damn guy like he's the Messiah." He tapped the gun's barrel against his head. "Come on, Suzaku. You know how this works."

Something kicked through him. The pain from his wound had disappeared, the adrenaline settling in. Along with the familiar burn of Geass screaming at him to live. "I can't let you do this," he said. "Kill me if you have to, but spare Lelouch."

"Not to burst your bubble, but Lelouch is the one I should kill," Gino pointed out. "That was my order—eliminate Zero. Lelouch specifically, but both of them if I can."

"So you would betray me? Sell me out? Sell out Kallen?"

"Look who's talking." Gino's expression twisted, his cheerfulness gone in an instant. "You sold out everything to get where you are. Hid your identity, brought back a tyrant, and lied to your own country. You think you can lecture me on betrayal, Suzaku?"

"It was for the greater good. That's something you could never see, Gino. That's why you were on the wrong side before."

"Because I had a shred of integrity!" His lip curled into a snarl. "At least I didn't stand by an usurper to the throne. At least I remained loyal to my country!"

"'Loyal to your country'?" Suzaku narrowed his eyes. "Is that what matters most? Then I'll ask you, once again—stand with me now. Like it or not, Lelouch is part of your country, Gino. Use this to atone for your betrayal."

"Bargaining won't—"

"I'm not. I have nothing left to lose." Had he said it but a day ago, it would have been much closer to the truth. "Gino. Don't let Britannia determine your destiny again. I'll explain everything after we escape, but I need you to trust me. Choose the right side this time. Please."

He crossed his arms. "And what makes you think I'd wanna help you?"

"Some part of you does. Otherwise you would have killed us already. I know you—you're hesitating." He stared him down. "You're more than some blind follower, Gino. I know there's a good man in there. Prove to me I'm right."

Silence. Gino said nothing, his mouth drawn into a firm line. The gun trembled in his grip. Suzaku could hear the leaves rustling, could see the ferns swaying back and forth. The crashing of the waterfall echoed in his ears. It all sounded just like that time, long ago, back when he had first crashed on Kamine with Kallen. Before everything had fallen into chaos.

"Suzaku…" Gino shook his head. "You always were a charismatic guy. When everyone else doubted you, I always had your back. Aside from the whole Lelouch thing."

"So...what does that mean?" Suzaku's heart leapt into his throat. "You'll listen to reason? You'll join us?"

"You sure do make a convincing argument." His eyes fell on Lelouch, his head nestled against the moss. He scowled. "But I can't forgive him. Or you. Or either of your crimes."

"Gino—"

"I'm sorry it has to end this way, Suzaku, I really am. But duty calls. You get it, I'm sure. And it doesn't matter what you tell me—Lelouch ain't coming back. Not if I can do something about it."

"He is." Suzaku instinctively dropped into a fighting stance, guarding Lelouch's body, knowing Gino could easily overpower him anyway. "You can't stop us, Gino. I won't let you."

Gino scoffed. "With what? The bullet in your leg?"

He rushed forward before Suzaku could react. His fist rammed into his chest, knocking the wind out of him, with such force that it sent him tumbling. His head slammed against the trunk with a sickening crack. Slowly, he crumpled to the ground, dazed, his leg about to break in half.

"Don't worry, Suzaku. I'll kill you first. That way, you won't have to see your prince die too."

His lungs burned with each breath. It felt like his skull was splitting open. With effort, he forced his eyes open. Gino was towering over him, the branches grazing against his hair. His eyes were empty as he aimed the gun at his head. "Don't take this too hard, Suzaku. It's nothing personal."

His finger circled around the trigger.

"_No!_" The scream surged out of Suzaku's throat. Never had he felt the Geass flash so painfully. As if it had a mind of its own, his fist flew out in desperation. But the movement was slow, clumsy; he had no strength left. And Gino had caught the attempt with little effort.

He gazed down at him with a look of pity. "For what it's worth, you were one of my closest friends," he said. "I looked up to you. I'm sorry."

As if time were coming to a stop, Suzaku watched him pull the trigger in slow motion. The end had come. Despite everything, he was going to die on this godforsaken island, and with Lelouch following soon after. Killed by his own friend, no less.

He shut his eyes, bracing himself for oblivion.

The boom from the gunshot was deafening. Followed by nothing. A silence that felt eternal, almost overwhelming. But there, at the very edge, he heard something else. Was that...wind? And there, in the near distance, was the rustling of branches. The chattering of animal life. The roar of the waterfall. Like nothing had changed.

Not believing his fate, he slowly opened his eyes. Gino was still standing there, holding the gun slightly above Suzaku's head. A trail of smoke rose from the muzzle.

"Gino? What is—"

"Shh." His eyes scanned the forest behind him. "Do you hear anything?"

"Huh? Hear what?" Suzaku mumbled in disbelief.

"Rustling. People. Anything weird." His face scrunched up in concentration. "I think they're gone."

"What?" Was he losing his mind? Or was this some sort of strange, personal hell? "Who's gone? What's—"

"The soldiers," Gino said, not looking away. "They were watching me. Making sure I followed through."

"Soldiers?" Suzaku said. "You mean your soldiers? The ones you've been commanding this whole time?"

"Yeah. That request I talked about earlier? Well, it was more of a demand than an actual offer. And even though I agreed, Cornelia was afraid I'd have second thoughts. So she made sure I knew that, even though the soldiers were mine to boss around, I was also their bitch. And they'd be watching my every move."

Suzaku said nothing, his mouth falling closed. He definitely could have been lying. Or putting up a facade. But that did sound like something Cornelia would do, and if Gino were not telling the truth, he and Lelouch should have been dead by now. Besides, what else could he do but take his word? "But they're gone now? We're safe?"

"Yeah...yeah, I think so." He scanned among the leaves one last time, then nodded, satisfied. "Pretty sure we're in the clear. Otherwise I'd be on the ground with a bullet in my brain."

"Christ, Gino," Suzaku said. "What about all the stuff we talked about?"

"I mean, I had to sound convincing. Taking the shot must have sealed the deal. They're probably reporting back to the other generals right now."

"And punching me into the tree?" Suzaku ruefully rubbed the back of his head. Definitely bruised, at best. "Was that necessary too?"

"'Course it was." He did not seem bothered. "A hug and a slap on the back would've looked suspicious, no?"

"Whatever you say." Struggling, Suzaku rose to his feet. He wobbled slightly. "But we're alone now, right?"

"For now." Gino sighed. He rubbed a hand over his face. "You owe me for this, Suzaku. Big time."

"I do." Suzaku crossed an arm over his chest. "Thank you, Gino. You gave me another chance to live, though I do not deserve it."

"Yet you keep coming back. Lelouch too, apparently." He snorted softly, though not unkindly. "Crazy bastards, the both of you. But you're welcome."

"Does this mean you'll be joining us? We could use your help. There's something coming, Gino, and—"

"Hold on. I never said I was on your side." The look Gino shot him was not a friendly one, the blue in his eyes containing all the warmth of an iceberg. "I don't agree with your mission, nor Lelouch's. And the stuff I said back there? Those weren't lies."

He raised his chin towards Lelouch. "I won't be part of any plan that involves him. I bought you guys a ticket out. That's all."

"Then...why do it at all?" Suzaku asked, confused. "Why not kill us and be in Britannia's good graces?"

To his surprise, Gino chuckled. "I got a better question for you, Suzaku. What makes you think this'll work out?"

"Huh?"

"Think about it. You're on the run again. Compromising everything. All for a guy who tried taking over the world. What's the deal? He owe you a gambling debt or something?"

"No." Suzaku shook his head, his hair falling messily over his eyes. "I'm tired of explaining it, Gino. I've tried many times. And almost no one could understand. But I need Lelouch, and he needs us too."

"Ah." Gino shot him a strange look. "So you need him, eh?"

"Yes." Suzaku squirmed slightly. He could have sworn he was blushing. Why was he blushing? He hated the thought of it. "Why are you looking at me like that? It's not what you think it is."

"Uh huh. Whatever you say." Gino gave him a wink. It only flustered him more. "Hey, don't worry. I'm in a similar boat. There's someone I—"

He paused, as if he had caught himself on the verge of making a mistake. He tore a leaf off from a nearby branch. "Well, someone I care about."

Suzaku raised an eyebrow. "Is that so?"

"Yeah." The leaf became a cigar between his fingers. "Someone strong. Bold. Beautiful. If I let you or Lelouch die, well, she wouldn't be too happy. And that wouldn't make me happy either."

"You're joking." He could hardly believe his ears. Was this really happening now? After Gino had nearly murdered him? And on _Kamine Island?_ "You're doing all this—betraying your country, sparing the lives of fugitives—for a girl you're interested in?"

"Surprised?" He grinned. "You know me, Suzaku. Besides, love ain't such a bad reason if you ask me."

Suzaku blinked. He supposed he had no right to argue.

"Besides, I'm done following rulers and governments." His voice turned uncharacteristically bitter. "I can't trust them anymore, especially after what happened with Schneizel. Don't know when they're telling the truth and when they're lying. All I can trust is my own feelings. So that's what I'm going to do. Don't act like you don't do the same."

"Yet you went with their orders until now," Suzaku pointed out. "You agreed to this, didn't you? I don't understand."

"I mean, I'll listen when I have to. No reason to put a hit out on me. And I am Britannian, after all. But otherwise, my ideals are my own." He glanced over his shoulder. "I should head back. I'll tell them you fended me off and somehow found a way to escape. It should buy you some time."

"Won't that sound suspicious? Especially for you?"

"Nah. For better or worse, they know you're capable of crazy shit." He turned his back on him. "But that's as far as I'll go. Don't turn to me for help, because I won't save you again."

"I see." Suzaku bowed his head. "Thank you, Gino. I am in your debt."

As he watched Gino walk off, his silhouette fading, Suzaku could not help but smile. "Hey, Gino?"

Gino stopped.

"I'll look after her for you, don't worry. Your secret is safe with me."

At that, Gino turned back halfway, partially obscured under the green. His playful smirk had returned. It reminded Suzaku of brighter days, back when the two of them and Anya used to tease each other at Ashford. Maybe, someday, they would all find themselves there again, their differences set aside. Together.

"Heh. Guess it's not much of a secret if you figured it out. But...I appreciate it. And try not to die out there, you hear me?"

He raised two fingers up and out in salute. And then he was gone.

* * *

Suzaku's mouth dropped. "No way..."

Sure, Lloyd had mentioned that it would be similar to his past versions. But now that he was up close, he had not expected the prototype to be an exact copy, a scale-to-scale remake, of the Lancelot he remembered—head, body, and all, along with an energy wing compartment, a pair of Maser Vibration Swords, even a VARIS rifle. Its glittering green sockets for eyes seemed to follow him as he approached. As if it were trying to spell out its joy upon reuniting with its pilot.

"How did they do this?" he wondered, treading carefully around its legs, his shoes sinking into the mud. The ravine was so tight, he had to inch against the walls. He could not stop himself from smiling, his exhaustion temporarily forgotten. "I guess it doesn't matter. Thank you, Lloyd, Cécile. This is more than I need."

Using his free hand, he pulled the key out from his suit. The pilot's seat broke through the cockpit's floor, suspended by ropes. The smell of machinery, combined with the scent of fresh pines, reached his nostrils. All of it too familiar.

"Hang in there, Lelouch," he murmured, glancing down at his unconscious form. Their chariot shone under the sun. "We're almost there. Don't die on me now."

As soon as he sat down, the chair began ascending. But Lloyd must have built the Frame with room for only one, for his efforts to fit Lelouch proved futile, like trying to force two incompatible jigsaw pieces together. In the end, Lelouch had to lean against his shoulder, his head nestled under Suzaku's chin, his body wrapped around his. It was even worse inside the cabin—he could barely reach out without hitting him somehow.

Suzaku stiffened. Lelouch felt awfully warm. The heat of his body was pressing up against him. His breath cascaded down his neck, making his spine tingle. It was likely the closest that either of them had ever been to one another.

He bit his lip. This may be tougher than he had expected.

He stuck the key in the ignition. A promising whirr rose from the engine, the Yggdrasil drive coming to life. One by one, the panoramic monitors flashed green. Detailed specs—damage status, energy levels, remaining ammo—popped up, the outside cameras and sensors coming into focus. His attention was caught by a name in bright colors on the central screen.

_LANCELOT P: GENERATION NULL_

_PROPERTY OF THE GREAT EARL LLOYD ASPLUND_

Of course he would. He could imagine Lloyd in the laboratory, patting himself on the back, coming up with ways to make it flashier. Lord knows how Cécile ever dealt with him.

His fingers wrapped around the levers. He could feel the Frame pulsing, begging to be released into battle, as if it were alive. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes. "Now, Lancelot...launch!"

His arms surged forward. Like an arrow from its drawstring, the Lancelot shot out of the pit, past the trees and into the open sky, leaving swirls of leaves trailing behind. He was soaring higher, at the speed of a comet, the Frame soon twirling among the clouds. A wave of exhilaration washed over him. He had forgotten how _liberating_ it felt to fly.

He spun the Lancelot in a circle, surveying his surroundings, before dropping back down. Rays of sunlight broke through the clouds. He could see Kamine Island below him, coated in green, the cave sticking out in the distance like a sore thumb. But aside from foaming blue waters up to the horizon, he saw nothing else. Cornelia and Kallen had disappeared.

A sense of unease overcame him. Had it been that long? And where was Kallen now? If she had been taken prisoner, or fallen in battle...

He shook his head, as if to ward off his thoughts. "I can't worry about that now," he said to himself. Reluctantly, he turned back forward, the seemingly endless ocean greeting him. "Lelouch. We're going home."

But then he heard a noise. The whistle of something slicing through air. He turned around—and felt the Lancelot shudder, as if caught in a whirlwind. He jerked forward, his head inches away from the overhead screens. The lights above him flickered.

"What?" He recoiled, struggling to regain stability. A wisp of smoke was rising out of the Lancelot, right beside its core."What was that?"

"Shit, we missed!" Whoever it was, their voice came from within the forest. "Fire at him again! Don't let him get away!"

"There's more of them?" Suzaku exclaimed, narrowly dodging another shot. Then another. A bitter taste formed in his mouth. Again. They were after him again. Just what would it take for them to leave him alone?

He guided the Lancelot up, spinning through the sky. Rows of bullets shot past him, one clipping his arm. He clenched his jaw. He couldn't let his frustration get the better of him; it was already starting to make him careless. Especially since the model needed time to reach its maximum energy potential, and it did not help that Lelouch's body was in his way. With every move he made, there came the fear of accidentally crushing him.

But none of that would stop him. The Lancelot was still more powerful than any mass-produced Knightmare Frame, and he was more than prepared to spill their blood. He reached for the VARIS gun. The pride of victory, hot as fire, burned through his veins. Where they hid was not important—he would blast the island to smithereens if he had to.

_"Now!"_ The Lancelot fired. A massive round of energy flew down, then another, cutting through the treetops like a knife through butter. He could hear their screams as the bolts collided, incinerating them on the spot. Dirt flew out in waves, the Earth collapsing under their force.

Slowly, he lowered the rifle. At one point he would have felt guilt for days on end. Now, there was only relief. The means no longer mattered, so long as they produced results.

But his peace of mind did not last for long. He felt the Geass flash, catching him off guard. By the time he whirled around, it was already too late. Another shudder wracked through the Lancelot. Only this time it was much worse, as if it were about to break apart and fall through the sky. A grunt escaped him as he was ripped forward again, his hands braced against the levers, trying to stop himself from cracking his head on the glass. Lelouch toppled forward and onto the dashboard. The sound of metal crunching reached his ears.

His heart skipped a beat. He looked down, past the warnings on the screens. And saw the tip of a blade, tiny yet lethal, sticking out from the Lancelot's chest.

"How?" His eyes nearly doubled in size. "But those soldiers...were they distractions? Then who—"

"_Got you, traitor!_" The voice of Guilford came from behind, filled with scorn. "_This is for the Princess!_"

"Guilford? Where did he come from?" His Geass was activating again. It seared through his head like a white-hot brand, consuming his senses. He gripped the handles so hard he thought they might snap off. Why must they _keep interfering_?

He could feel the Lancelot beginning to give out, the life draining away as it remained pinned in place. _Damn it._ He had fallen right into their trap, and this time the damage had been fatal. Alarms were going off, the machine slipping into critical condition. Before he had yet to leave the island. Yet to see his plan—C.C.'s plan—be more than just a hopeful dream. _Cornelia, you vindictive witch_, he thought, the hatred welling up in his chest. _You thought of everything, didn't you?_

He raised the Lancelot's knee before jerking it back. The movement was slow, but he felt the foot connect with something hard. Something metallic.

"_Urgh!_" Guilford drew back. Slowly, the Lancelot slipped off the tip of the sword. Then fell out entirely, leaving a gaping hole behind, the circuits sparkling within as it spun out of control and towards the ocean. Suzaku struggled to bring it back, the nausea making him sick as it tumbled. But the Frame had gone obsolete. And the water was getting closer, a solid wall that would break him upon impact. Desperately, he tried pulling up, one last time—

—and stopped. He opened his eyes. The Lancelot was barely floating, no more than a foot above the water. Its limbs were crumpled like a broken doll. But it still seemed to be working. Somehow. He exhaled in relief. They were still alive.

"_You will not escape!_"

Alarmed, Suzaku turned back. Guilford was rushing in, his sword drawn. Behind him were two other Knightmare Frames chasing in pursuit. "_Kururugi...your time has come!_"

"He wants to fight me?" Suzaku wondered out loud. He reached for the Vibration Swords. If it came to close combat, he might have a chance at fending them off. But the Lancelot remained frozen in place. He felt his heart stop. The blood drained out of his face. Was it broken? But the Frame was still functioning, wasn't it? He inputted the controls a second time. Perhaps it was only a temporary system error.

The arms remained stuck to his sides. He swore. Whatever Guilford had struck must have been enough to paralyze the Frame. Panic was settling in. He had no way to fight back. And the Gloucester was rapidly closing the distance, eager to slash him in half.

_Run._

He smashed a button on the dashboard. Though they sputtered weakly, the wings in his float system managed to activate. And, to his relief, propelled him forward at great speed. The waves parted beneath him as he flew, the Lancelot cutting across the water, its legs dangling dangerously close to the surface. Against his intuition, he spared a glance back. The Gloucester was directly on his tail.

"_After him! Do not let him escape!_"

The Gloucester drew forth a massive rifle—was it _bigger_ than his VARIS gun?—before blasting out a laser, as large as that of a Hadron cannon. At the last second, Suzaku pulled up. White energy cut across the Lancelot's leg, clipping it off in one blow.

"God damn it," he muttered, watching it fall into the ocean, the Frame trembling under the attack. Blood pounded in his ears. His hands shook around the controls. "I can't shake them off."

He looked up. His heart sank further. There was nothing but ocean ahead for miles. Even with the Lancelot's speed it wouldn't be enough. Bullets were pummeling the surrounding waters. Grimacing, he twisted the handles to the side, expecting the Lancelot to do a barrel roll. It leaned lazily to one side.

"_Is that all you can do, Kururugi?_" Guilford mocked. "_I must thank you—you've made my job much easier. Prepare to bow before Britannia's might!_"

He could see the gun in his rear view, charging up energy. His breath caught in his throat. If this shot met its mark, then they would be good as dead. His vision grew blurry, the Geass forcing him to react. But how? The Lancelot was no more than a flying vehicle. His weapons were obsolete, his options almost nonexistent. If Lloyd could only see what had become of his pride and joy…

Another warning flickered on his display. The Yggdrasil Drive was nearly out of energy, leaking after being penetrated by Guilford's blade. His knuckles turned white around the handles. He would have to pull off a miracle. They could not die out here, stranded in the ocean with no traces left behind. Not with so many unfulfilled promises still in waiting.

_It can't end here. Not like this._

The Geass flared up again. It was their only chance. Every muscle in his body exerted as he pushed the controls up and out, making the Lancelot fly at an angle. It was not a moment too soon—another energy burst surged past him and into the ocean, causing a geyser to erupt.

It was faint, but he thought he could hear Guilford cursing at the top of his lungs. "Thank God," Suzaku breathed. "The Geass can predict it. If I can keep this up, we should—"

He cut himself off. A gasp of pain escaped him. The Lancelot felt like it was exploding from within. Tremors, more violent than ever, wracked up the Frame. Electricity sparked out from the controls, rendering them useless. He could see the screens going into a frenzy, showing the state of the destroyed Yggdrasil Drive, before fizzling to black.

"What?" Red overcame his vision. The cabin was awash with the color of blood. "But...how? How could this...?"

He weakly tried pulling at the controls. No use. He felt himself falling. Faster and faster, a comet spinning out of control, with no way to stop himself from crashing. The last thing he saw before the Lancelot slammed into the waves and everything turned to black was Lelouch, caught in his eternal slumber, unaware of the grave they now shared.


	8. His Own Beating Heart

_"The human heart is the source of all our power." _— _Lelouch vi Britannia_

* * *

Kallen latched onto the edge of the cart, holding on for dear life. There were a few things she simply couldn't handle; unfortunately, motion sickness was one of them. "H-Hey, could you drive slower? It's kinda—ow!—rocky back here!"

"Sorry 'bout that, ma'am," the farmer called back. "This part'a the path's real rough. Been so for years. It'll clear up soon!"

Right as he spoke, the flimsy wheels ran over another bump. A yelp escaped her as she rocked up and down. Of all the places C.C. could have gone into hiding, why did it have to be so far? Somewhere near the city (and Ashford, preferably) would have made things much easier. It was during times like these that she loathed the ban on Knightmares—the Guren could have cut her time by tenfold.

She sighed. More wheat stalks, breezing on by. Then again, the trip had not been all bad. Leaving the mainland was a nice change of pace, away from the hustle and bustle of Area 11, or the school bells of Ashford. And the outskirts were certainly beautiful. She had not expected so much farmland, much more than she had ever witnessed at one time. Seeing farmers tend to so many crops had been a fascinating sight.

Or, at least, it had been the first ten times. Wheat stalks could only seem interesting for so long. The smells of dirt, gasoline, and fertilizer were starting to make her sick.

_At least it's a beautiful day. _She laid back, resting on a stack of hay. Clouds were floating across the blue canvas. _Naoto would have loved this. It hasn't been this clear out since..._

Her expression darkened. _Since Kamine Island._

She soon lost track of time, her thoughts scattered among the clouds. Eventually, the horses came to a stop.

"We've arrived, ma'am." The farmer tipped his hat to her. "Sorry 'bout the ride."

"Don't worry about it." She dropped a few coins in the wagon, gave him a nod of thanks, and hopped out. A cloud of dust kicked up as the horses galloped away. There were a row of small trees before her, and another row beyond that, and another, down into the distance. Ripe oranges clung to each of their branches, begging to be picked.

"So this is it." She scowled. The farm must have been over two hundred acres in size. How the hell did C.C. expect anyone to find her in this maze? "But why here? Where am I supposed to go?"

"Hi."

Kallen spun around. Standing by a tree was a young girl in farmers' overalls. A yellow ribbon ran through her pink hair, tying it back. Her red eyes regarded Kallen with curiosity.

"Hello." Kallen blinked. "We've met before, haven't we?"

"You're the Black Ace, correct?"

She sucked in a breath. "Depends on who's asking."

"I'm Anya." The girl did not hold out her hand, nor come any closer. Just stood there. "We've fought before."

"We have?"

"I piloted the Mordred."

"What?" Kallen took a step back. No wonder she looked so familiar. _Standing among Britannian royalty. Acting as one of Schneizel's royal guards. _"So you're the Knight of Six, then?"

Anya did not respond. Rather, she glanced behind her, at the drooping branches. With a gloved hand, she reached out and plucked off an orange, one larger than Kallen's fist.

"'Knight of Six'." She spun it in her hand, as if it were a crystal ball and she could see her past within. "I haven't heard that name in a long time."

"That's right," Kallen said under her breath. "You were also at Ohgi and Villetta's wedding. But all this time, I had no idea you were one of the Rounds."

"Good." She tossed the orange into a sack, then reached for another. "It is a life that no longer belongs to me."

An awkward silence fell as she continued picking, as if she had forgotten Kallen entirely. There was something...off about the young girl, something Kallen could not quite put her finger on. Like she had been removed from reality altogether. Hell, even C.C. had more life than her.

She perked up. Speaking of C.C….

"Anya, I'm here to meet with someone," Kallen said. "The green-haired girl."

"I know. That's why I'm here." Anya tossed the last orange in. "I'll take you to her."

"Oh. You know her too?" Kallen asked. "Are you two friends?"

"No. But Jeremiah is."

She twisted a knot and hefted the sack, now bulging at the seams, over her shoulder. Without a word, she started down the dirt path. The endless rows of trees seemed to watch her as she passed.

"Are you coming?" she called out, without turning back. "You'll get lost without me. Come on."

Kallen hesitated. Then, shaking her head, hurried after her.

* * *

Anya knocked on the wooden door. "Hello? Are you in there? I've brought her." They stood before a small barn, worn with age, hidden in a corner of the grove. A circle of trees—some barren, some covered in flower buds—surrounded the building, haphazardly concealing it within the branches. As they waited, Kallen felt a nagging thought poke at her: how did C.C. find this place? It was in the middle of nowhere. And hidden within a sea of oranges, of all things. The witch must have been a scout in one of her past lives. Or something.

The door creaked as it slid open. C.C. stood in the doorway, dressed in nothing but a white top and her underwear. Her eyes went straight to Kallen.

"You're late." She gave Anya a nod. "Thank you for bringing her."

"Mhm." Anya turned on her heel. Kallen watched as she made her way back into the grove, disappearing among the oranges. She frowned. "Doesn't Anya live here too?"

"She and Jeremiah stay elsewhere. It's a big farm. And she most definitely does not want to be involved with us." She looked Kallen up and down. "You look formal. Did you have class today?"

"It's a Saturday, C.C. I'm just wearing my uniform."

"That's right." She seemed bored. "I must have forgotten how school works. How silly of me."

Kallen ignored her. "How are they, C.C.?" she asked. The urgency in her voice was palpable. "Can I see them?"

C.C. sighed. She stepped to one side. "Come on in."

The first thing that caught Kallen's attention was how cramped the room was. The floors, walls, and ceiling were comprised of aged wood, the color of soot. Bags of mulch and piles of hay stacked up against the walls. Two bunk beds were placed at one end, a tiny window standing between them, covered in dust. Hiding in the corner was a Japanese divider (for bathing?), leaving barely any space for furniture: a small table, some wooden chairs, a disfigured mini TV, and a rotting shelf, as short as C.C. herself.

"Is this where you normally stay? Here?" An opened box of pizza sat on the tabletop, its contents already half-eaten. How, and where, did she manage to get _pizza?_

"When I must." C.C. slammed the door shut. She slid past Kallen, reaching to tear off another slice. "When I have nowhere to go, or need a place to hide. Jeremiah was kind enough to keep its doors open."

"Goodness." She took a step towards the bunks—and came to a complete stop. Two lifeless forms lay under the covers, one in each bed. One with black hair, the other brown.

"Are they…?"

"Alive? Yes." C.C. took another bite. "Lelouch seems fine, although he's grown quite thin. Suzaku, however, needed more tending to. He came close to death multiple times, more than he could handle. It took a heavy toll on his body."

"Christ, Suzaku," Kallen muttered under her breath. "Are you out of your mind?"

"You sound surprised. You got my letter, didn't you?"

"Y-Yeah. Yes. Yes, I did."

She reached into the pocket of her blouse. Between her fingers was a piece of paper, its creases worn from being folded and unfolded many times. "But you only told me your location, and that they were alive. I don't know anything else." Her eyes hardened. "I want answers, C.C.. Tell me, what happened out there? On the island?"

But instead of answering, C.C. patted the seat beside her. "Relax. Do you want some water?"

"I don't have time for—"

"Of course you do. It's a Saturday, remember?"

Kallen bit her tongue. Every time the witch opened her mouth, she wanted to slap her across the face. Nonetheless, she begrudgingly obliged, the chair letting out a squeak. "Fine. I'll _relax_. And yes, water would be nice."

"There you go." There was a smug air about C.C. as she rose to her feet. She walked over to the shelf, her hands reaching for a pitcher.

"I can only tell you what I went through," she said as she poured, her back turned to Kallen. "Which isn't much. By the time I awoke, it was mostly over."

"Anything is better than nothing." She gratefully accepted the glass as C.C. handed it to her. The cold liquid was soothing against her parched throat.

"I assume you have much to share." C.C. leaned back in her seat. "Where is the Guren? What happened with Cornelia?"

"Hold on." A small rush of satisfaction went through her. "I'm not giving you any answers until I get some of my own. And I asked you first."

"Oh?" said C.C.. "Is that how you're playing your hand?"

"Yeah, it is," she shot back. She had to admit—having power over C.C. for once felt kind of nice. "You want answers? Then speak up."

There was a pause. "Fine," C.C. finally said. She flipped the pizza box back open. "I'll go along with your contract. I tell you my side of the story, and you tell me yours. Deal?"

Kallen slammed the cup down so hard that the table shook. "Deal."

* * *

"Lelouch!"

_Suzaku was running up a hill. A sea of soft grass surrounded his ankles. The sunlight felt warm, almost comforting, against his skin. With each step he took, his shoes sank slightly into the dirt. But he wasn't paying attention. Somehow, he knew he was waiting for him at the top. His Emperor, his best friend, the one he cared for beyond rhyme or reason._

_There _— _he could see him. Black strands of his hair, flying in the wind, among the whirling leaves and lilac petals. The old uniform from Ashford Academy. A calm smile rested on his cheeks, a smile that lessened the burdens in Suzaku's soul, as he gazed up at the cloudless sky. It physically ached him to be so close, yet somehow still so far away._

_He was sprinting now, as quickly as his legs would carry him. But the closer he got, the more something seemed off. The hill was stretching into eternity, its edges wavering, like a mirage consumed by temptation. The dirt was getting thicker, now clinging desperately to his ankles. Once-clean air felt damp in his lungs. He could barely breathe._

"_What?" It did not matter how he struggled, for he was trapped. The ground had turned to stone. Blades of grass drooped over, wilting. And the sky, the sky was...turning dark? Except it could not have been nightfall, for there were no stars, no moon, no light. Only dust and shadows._

"Lelouch!" _he screamed at the top of his lungs. "I'm down here! Wait for me, I'm coming!"_

_He must have heard him, for Lelouch turned. He was no longer smiling, but pale as snow, his expression frozen with fear. And he was looking down; not at Suzaku, but at the red stain blossoming over his chest._

_Lelouch stumbled back, his eyes glassy. Suzaku could only watch as he teetered over the edge, plummeting faster and faster _—

Suzaku shot upright, the covers slipping off of him. Sweat covered his forehead. His lungs gasped for air.

"What? Where am I?"

He rubbed at his eyes. It was dark, and he could barely see. But at least the moon was there now, a blur of white through the filth-covered window by his bed. _This is...some sort of barn? _he wondered, trying to scrutinize what little of it he could make out. _Could it be Jeremiah's?_

He lifted the linen sheets. Underneath, he was entirely naked, his body washed and his wounds treated. Fresh bandages were wrapped around the wound in his leg and seemingly dozens of other places. Which caught him off guard. He must have gotten more injured than he had realized.

With hesitation, he slowly twisted his leg. And instantly regretted it. The pain was enough to make his head spin.

"It won't heal that quickly, I'm afraid."

His eyes flew open. "C.C?"

She was sitting in a chair, wearing only her undergarments. Her golden eyes bore into his.

"You're awake." She did not sound excited. How long had she been watching him like a hawk, waiting for him to wake up? "Do you feel better?"

"Better?" He rubbed the back of his head. Just as he thought—a bump, as big as a rock. _Damn it, Gino_. "I suppose so, given the circumstances."

He glanced over. Lelouch was in the other bunk, his hair a matted mess on top of the pillow. A shiver went up his spine. _Blood spilling over his chest as he tumbled down the cliff side_—

"Hey, C.C.," he said, almost too eagerly, "What happened? Where are we? How did we get here?"

"Ah, yes, here come the questions. Are you sure you don't want to rest longer?" She tilted her head to the side. "You almost died. Multiple times."

"Yes, well, I'm fine now," he said firmly. It was a lie—his body felt like one giant bruise. "Or I will be. Just answer the question."

"This is Jeremiah's orange farm." She uncrossed her arms. "You've been out for about a week now."

"A week?" He flinched. "That long? But the last thing I—"

His voice caught in his throat. That's right. He was supposed to be dead. The last thing he remembered was the Lancelot, on the verge of pieces, sinking into the ocean waves. And then, nothing. "How am I alive? I'm certain that something destroyed the Lancelot. I thought I was done for."

"You almost were," said C.C.. "You avoided Guilford's pursuit, but Cornelia ambushed you at your most vulnerable. If I hadn't been there, you'd be at the bottom of the ocean."

"Huh?" Suzaku said. "Cornelia was there? _You _were there?"

"Yes. Underwater, in Jeremiah's Knightmare. That Frame in particular was designed for traveling through universal conditions. I saw your fight. I saw the Lancelot falling into the sea."

"But how did you save us?" C.C. had been right. There were still so many questions on the tip of his tongue. "How did you get here without being found?"

"I swam with the Lancelot around the coast. By the time I came up, I was on the other side of Britannia. So I abandoned the Knightmare and traveled here, trying to avoid detection. It was the only place I could think of on short notice."

"Wow. You got here while handling _both _of us? And without being found?" He blinked. "That...that's impressive, actually. But what about the Lancelot?"

"You'll have to ask Lloyd." She smiled. "When I reached out and told him what happened, he spewed a bunch of curses, asked me for its location, and hung up. It's in his hands now, I presume."

"So he made it off the island. Cécile too."

"Yes. They left with the rest of Britannia. As far as I know, they are unharmed and under interrogation."

He clenched at the blankets. "And Jeremiah? You two left together, right? In that Knightmare of his?"

C.C. said nothing, though she suddenly seemed very interested in the floor. She picked at the skin around her thumbnail.

"No." He blanched. "You don't mean—"

"I searched for him. But I couldn't find him. When I woke up, there was no one left. And I haven't heard from him since."

"It can't be," he murmured. "Jeremiah—"

"He knew what he was getting into, Suzaku." Her voice sounded thick. "His life belonged to Lelouch, and he went down fighting for his emperor. There is no shame in that."

"Maybe he was taken prisoner." He knew he sounded desperate. Was grasping at straws. But if there was even the slightest hope—"Or he's hiding somewhere. There must be some kind of explanation."

"One can hope." It was clear from her tone that she did not believe it. "But even so, he would likely have been executed by now. Or killed. I'm sorry, Suzaku. There was nothing we could have done."

_Nothing we could have done_. He hated that excuse. But if C.C.—someone who had already experienced everything there was to experience—chose not to believe in it, then what hope did they really have?

His fingers nearly tore through the sheets. "It doesn't matter," he said. "He didn't deserve this. He was only trying to do the right thing."

"Suzaku—"

"Don't." He suddenly wished he were anywhere else but there. Trapped in another nightmare, one he could not wake from, with the witch responsible for all of this. And his best friend, who may as well be dead. "Don't try and turn this into something it's not. The truth is we failed him. We messed up. And look what we're left with. Nothing."

"What are you talking about? Lelouch is right there."

"And for what?" His voice turned bitter. "He might never wake up. He could be asleep for years for all we know. Jeremiah is gone. Kallen is gone. We're all that's left."

"Actually," C.C. brought up, "Kallen is fine. She visited you and Lelouch earlier today."

"What? She did?" For a split second, his grief subsided. "But she disappeared after her fight with Cornelia. I assumed the worst."

"You assumed wrong," said C.C.. "She told me herself. Her battle with Cornelia was a close call, but Cornelia called off the fight before either emerged victorious. Apparently she was furious, but Kallen didn't stay around to find out why."

She looked out the window. No stars were out tonight. Perhaps the sky was aware of the cataclysm to come, and was afraid of releasing its children into the world, of losing what little light it had left.

"So she managed to get away." At that, Suzaku sighed in relief. "That's good to hear. I was so afraid we'd lost her. But Jeremiah is—"

He grimaced. Just the mentioning of his name felt physically painful. They had all been prepared to leave their lives behind, even possibly give them up, to bring Lelouch back. And that's exactly what Jeremiah had done. So why did it still feel like there was a hole in his chest?

_That's what soldiers do, Suzaku. _Perhaps Lloyd had been right. If anyone would have been proud to fall in battle, it was Jeremiah. Yet he could not shake off the awful feeling that they had let him down.

He glanced at C.C.. It could have been a trick of the shadows, but she seemed slimmer than usual. A haunted look rested in her eyes, their depths as hollow as the day Lelouch had lost his life. His anger from before gave way to guilt. He shouldn't be blaming her for Jeremiah's death—she had nothing to do with it.

"Hey, C.C.." She looked up, almost fearful. "I never thanked you for saving me. If you hadn't been there or taken care of me until now, Lelouch and I would be dead. So...thank you."

She stiffened. There was something strange about the way she stared at him. As if he were holding a gun to her head, and was about to pull the trigger.

"What?"

He stared back. "Did I say something wrong?"

"I..." Her mouth fell closed. "What did you just say?"

"Er, I said, thank you?" He scratched the back of his head. It was common for C.C. to make him feel irritated. Or confused. But never awkward. "For saving me? If there's something wrong with—"

"No." She shook her head earnestly. He caught his breath. Were those..._ tears _falling down her cheeks?

When she spoke again, her voice was fragile, like a single drop of dew hanging off the edge of a leaf. "It's just that no one other than Lelouch has ever thanked me before."

_Dear God. _His gaze fell. "C.C.…"

"Just like last time." She wiped the back of her hand across her eyes. "It feels so strange. To be thanked. I haven't felt like this in such a long time. Felt anything at all. But it feels good."

She wrapped her arms around herself, as if they could heal the wounds hiding inside. Seeing C.C., who had always seemed so sure of herself, break down before his eyes felt wrong in some way, a sin in and of itself. He was tempted to go to her, to hold her and tell her that everything would be alright. But she was beyond his comfort now. Beyond anyone's.

At a loss, he sat in silence. It was not long before she regained her composure. "Forgive me, Suzaku," she said, "but I must make a selfish request."

"What do you need?"

"Say it again." Her eyes fell half-closed. He could see them glistening. "Spoil me, just this one time."

"C.C.—"

"Please."

He hesitated. Then he took a deep breath. "Of course," he said. He might have imagined it, but he thought he saw the tension melting out of her shoulders, a ghost of a smile hovering on her lips. "Thank you for saving my life. For saving Lelouch's. Thank you, C.C.."

* * *

Hours passed by. Suzaku tossed and turned, to no avail. He was exhausted, yet sleep was avoiding him, taunting him as it danced around the corners of his mind. Fears of what was to come. C.C.'s last words before going to bed. Lelouch, sleeping under the covers, as if he were to never awaken.

With an exasperated sigh, he sat up. The covers slid down to his belly, his chest exposed to the night air. Goosebumps ran up his skin. Though he shivered, he didn't mind. The cold made him feel more alive than usual. A reminder that he was more than a walking corpse, as cursed as he was.

He looked around the room. And frowned. Apparently the barn had no spare clothes. He wrapped the blanket around himself before pushing himself up, wobbling on one leg. As he inched his way over to the shelf, the rotting wood moaning beneath his feet, he could not help but think of Anya's question from a lifetime ago.

"_Suzaku." She had stared straight ahead. "Are you a masochist or something?"_

_That's right. _The glass shook in his hand as he poured. _Nothing's changed. When you get down to it, I'm no more than a sinner._

He downed the glass in one go. Grimacing, he wiped a hand across his mouth. Some part of him was tempted to smash the cup on the floor, to hear something break like the organ in his chest. He didn't.

His eyes turned to Lelouch. Though not sure how, or why, he soon found himself standing by his bedside, as if pulled there by some invisible force. C.C.'s words were still there, haunting him, repeating themselves for the hundredth time.

_Where does your purpose lie now, Suzaku Kururugi?_

He must be going mad. He could not get himself to look away. Lelouch was pale, as pale as in his nightmares, the veins practically visible under his skin, his cheeks hollow. He seemed so fragile now, and would shatter like glass if dropped. A million scenarios for when he woke up ran through Suzaku's head. Yet not a single one felt right. The words were not enough. And there was the other possibility, too, that Lelouch may never wake up, leaving them in waiting for eternity. The thought of it made his nerves weak.

If only he could tear out his own beating heart to give to him instead.

Suzaku fell to his knees. He tried to resist—and failed—before reaching out, trembling, his fingers brushing aside a lock of his hair. Something twisted inside him. What if Kallen had been right? What if Lelouch was happier here, resting in his own perpetuity, than awake? Who were they to take that away from him?

"Lelouch." The name was ripped out of him. "You have so much to answer me for. This world you left behind. It needed you. And you, you—"

He doubled over. There was an urge to cry, but no tears came. Minutes passed before he found the strength to continue. "The Zero Requiem. I thought I was ready, but I wasn't. I was too weak. To carry on without you. And now, I have to ask you for one more favor. Even if the world is better off, or it breaks the promises we've made."

He laid his head onto the mattress. "Lelouch, you begged to me once. For Nunnally. And back then, I couldn't understand how anyone could sink so low. But now..." His eyes opened by a sliver. "I failed you. I cannot ask for forgiveness. But I must ask for something else. Come back to us. Your sacrifice was not enough to save the world. And I—"

He swallowed. If he spoke it now, the words would be lost into thin air. And no amount of preparation would be enough for him to admit the truth.

"I miss you," he whispered instead. "Do you remember, Lelouch, how we met after the Second Pacific War?" Despite everything, he smiled. "When I was a kid, I really wanted a best friend. I had no one. But you and Nunnally made me happy. Finally, there was someone who got me. So when you became Zero, I had to be the one to kill you. Because—"

His expression changed. _Euphie._

"After we finished, I was so angry. First at myself, then you. And confused. So many questions left behind. I had lost so much already. You were the last one who understood. And I couldn't lose the other half of me."

Silence. Lelouch was completely still, his breathing shallow and uneven. Struggling, Suzaku rose to his feet. With every passing heartbeat, he loathed himself a little more.

"Tch." _How pathetic. _"I'm sorry, Lelouch. You were always stronger than me. Even now..."

Slowly, he turned away. The night air was biting into his bare skin. He rubbed his hands over his arms, shivering from more than just the cold.

"_...Suzaku?_"

He froze. It couldn't be. It had to have been his imagination. But that voice. Clear as his fondest memory. Clear as the tears he had cried from watching Lelouch bleed to death at the bottom of the stage.

He turned around. "Lelouch?"

_"Suzaku." _It sounded more like a breath than someone speaking. But he could have sworn he saw his lips move. Saw his eyelids flickering weakly. Saw him _alive._

"Lelouch." His legs could no longer support him. "It's me. Can you hear me?" He crawled back up beside the bed. The tears were there now. They welled up in his eyes. "Hey, Lelouch. If you can hear me, say something. I'm right here."

Silence again. Scrambling, he reached out, his fingers finding their way into Lelouch's, intertwining. "No, please," he whispered. "Don't leave me again."

The words left his mouth numb. The same words from when he had begged for Euphie, only for her to fade in his arms. But there was nothing. Lelouch felt like a corpse, and every passing second was slowly killing him inside, as if the life were draining out of him instead. Until suddenly—a gasp, more ragged than usual. Like Lelouch was trying to breathe life into his lungs.

"Lelouch?" _Please, not again. _"Can you hear me?"

Suzaku held his breath. At last, he saw his eyes open ever-so-slightly. Their deep shade of purple, as pure as lilacs, had not changed.

"Suzaku?" he whispered. He sounded like he was on the verge of death. "Is...is that...you?"

He lurched forward. "Yes. It's me."

A pause. Then: "But...how?" Lelouch's head tossed back and forth. "Where...where am I? Am I in Hell?"

"No." Suzaku gripped tighter, almost crushing his fingers. "You're alive. You're back with us again. C.C. and I are here."

"Back...with us again," Lelouch mumbled. The corners of his mouth lifted. "How cruel of you."

Suzaku's grand notions slammed to a screeching halt. "What?"

"To taunt me like this." His eyes were rimmed with red. They searched over Suzaku's face, studying every detail. "Does...this give you pleasure? To—"

He coughed viciously. "To mock me, God? Have I...have I not suffered enough?"

"Lelouch, no." If Suzaku had not been worried before, he definitely was now. "It's really me. We brought you back from the World of C. It sounds crazy, I know, but—"

"You could not leave...me in peace, could you?" Though it was slight, Lelouch squeezed back. He sounded feverish, to the point of delirium. "God...I should have let her kill you when I—"

Again, he coughed, his frail chest heaving. Suzaku felt a wave of agony wash over him. The same from watching Nunnally sob over her brother's corpse. From seeing Euphie die in the hospital. Was he so helpless as to watch the people he loved suffer?

He placed one hand, his free hand, on Lelouch's forehead. And recoiled. "Lelouch, you're burning—"

"_Don't patronize me!" _Lelouch hissed. "You think...because you won, God? That you can toy with me? You accursed—"

Another cough. Only this time he did not continue on, but fell back into his pillow, his eyelids nearly falling shut. His pulse felt weak, like the flutter of a butterfly's wings.

_Bastard. _Suzaku internally kicked himself. _You did this to him. What did you think was going to happen? That he'd rush into your arms? That he wouldn't see the mask you hide behind? Your sins cannot_—

He caught his breath. _The mask I hide behind._

"Lelouch." He doubted this would work. But what other choice did he have? "Do you remember what we said in the Thought Elevator? Before The Zero Requiem?"

Lelouch did not answer. When he turned to face him, his eyes were blank. Part of Suzaku wondered whether he could understand him at all.

"Charles said that all humans lie behind a mask. That he and Marianne would destroy them to bring humanity together." He brought their laced hands up to his bare chest. "I still remember what you told me. That we wear our masks for a reason. We create false realities to protect ourselves. And I never forgot, Lelouch, for it spared me from casting others aside for the mask they wear. Even with mine on, I know you can see me." He leaned in closer. "I know you can see beyond that. Tell me I don't look like your Suzaku. "

_Your Suzaku. _He was surprised at himself. It was a bold statement to make, and one he would never say under normal circumstances. But Lelouch's expression did not change. Rather, he eyed him with suspicion. "You say you...hide behind a mask?" he said. "Then drop yours."

"I—what?" Suzaku paled. Even in his weakened state, the ferocity in Lelouch's gaze was undeniable. "What do you mean?"

"Drop it." There was an edge to his voice. "Prove you're more than what you seem. More than an illusion. Do something out of line, something Suzaku would never...never do."

"You mean something I normally _would _do? Lelouch, I—"

"No."

He drew back. "What?"

"Too easy. The real Suzaku," Lelouch said with a weak grin, "would never...give up a chance to...to disobey norms. To defy expectations. Not for the world...he believed…in…"

His head lolled back. Under his chest, right beneath the surface of his skin, Lelouch's heart was pumping irregularly. And far too quickly, Suzaku suddenly realized. Like it was about to give out.

"Something I would never do?" he mumbled to himself. "But that's—"

_Absurd. _His voice caught on the final word. It was more than absurd—it was hopeless. It was the dead of night, and Lelouch was struggling to breathe, practically out of his mind. Telling him to do something he wouldn't expect. It almost sounded like a joke.

He buried his face in his hands.

_Something I would never do_.

His fingers parted slightly. _No_. There was one option, insane enough to possibly work. But it was too much. The thought of it paralyzed him with fear. He was not ready to make it come true, to let it be more than a fragment of his desire. Not now. Perhaps not ever.

But he was running out of time. Lelouch was spiraling, and he doubted his body could take the stress for much longer. And deep down, the thought of it tempted him. For if he was already on the path of a sinner, and if this was what Lelouch demanded, then…

"Very well, Lelouch." He closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. _Damn it all. _"I'll do it."

"Oh?" He turned to face him. "Then...surprise me."

Suzaku bowed his head. It was now or never.

"Yes, Your Majesty."

He closed his eyes, right as the tears streamed down his cheeks. And leaned forward.

Before Lelouch knew what was happening, before Suzaku knew what was happening, their lips had come together. He heard Lelouch make a noise of surprise. Heard his heartbeat pounding in his ears. Against him, Lelouch felt soft, warm, and strangely foreign. And awkward, for he was not reciprocating, but Suzaku was too far gone to notice. Time seemed to stop, and he was melting in, despite the voice in his head screaming for him to pull back. A burning sensation tore through him, the desire and anguish tugging at his heartstrings.

_Where does your purpose lie now, Suzaku Kururugi?_

Finally, he drew back. And immediately felt horror pierce through him. Lelouch was staring at him, wide-eyed, like he had witnessed the birth of a monster.

_What have I done?_

"Lelouch...I…"

"I see." His expression softened. "So. You are...still full of surprises, old friend."

"Old friend." His eyes fell shut. _Thank God. _"So you believe that it's me."

"Well," Lelouch began, "it was nothing I expected. So…"

"It was enough for you?" Despite himself, Suzaku gave him a half-smile. He wiped at his tears. "The fact that I can still surprise you?"

Lelouch returned the smile. It was enough to put him at ease. "I don't...understand," he murmured. "I'm alive? How did any of—"

"Hey, don't worry about that now." Suzaku reached out, his hand sweeping back the mess of his hair. "Get some rest. It's been a long road for you to get here. You're awake—that's what matters."

Lelouch looked down. "Suzaku...why aren't you wearing anything?"

"Huh?" Suzaku followed his line of sight. And felt his face flush. "Oh. Right. I couldn't find any clothes, and this blanket was all I had, and I got up for a glass of water earlier, and—"

He forced his mouth closed. Why couldn't he ever shut up when he needed to?

"Hm." Lelouch coughed again, this time more lightly. He looked up, studying the bottom of C.C.'s bunk. His smile widened. "You're an idiot, you know that?"

"Yes, I do." At that, Lelouch shot him a sideways glance. "You wouldn't be here if I wasn't."

"So it seems."

He reached out before Suzaku could react. The tips of his fingers feebly traced down the side of his cheek.

"You are real." His voice, at last, held a fragment of warmth, of life. "Thank you. For guiding me back. When I thought...when I gave up earlier."

Slowly, gently, Suzaku raised his hand up to Lelouch's. His fingers slid through his.

_For now, this purpose is more than enough. More than what I deserve._

"Of course," he whispered, his burdens lighter than air, "Your Majesty."


	9. (Picture Drama 1): The Jester and the Flame

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A part of what I wrote while I'd been working on the next chapter. Found it didn't quite fit in (and made the original much longer), so I decided to post it separately. Consider it a picture drama, if you will. Hope you all enjoy!)

"_I walked across an empty land.  
__I knew the pathway like the back of my hand.  
__I felt the earth beneath my feet.  
__Sat by the river and it made me_—_"_

"Damn it, wrong chord," Gino muttered. "Hope no one heard that." But then again, it was late, and a Friday night to boot. With the annual commencement slated for tomorrow, everyone was out partying the night away, as per Ashford tradition. Who the hell would be indoors aside from him?

"_Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?  
__I'm getting old and I need something to rely on.  
__So tell me when you're gonna let me in.  
__I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin."_

He slid the guitar pick. Felt it vibrate across the strings, humming delicately. And paused. Was that a knock at his door, just now? All he had on was a tank top and boxer shorts, but it was not like he had been expecting guests. Besides, his lights were off, and he lived all the way across campus, away from the vast majority of students. Which meant that it was probably security outside. Or a serial killer.

"Come in."

The door propped open. A familiar face peeked in, her crimson hair spilling through the doorway. "Um…"

"Well, shit." He smirked as he set the guitar down. "If it isn't Kōzuki. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Kallen pushed further. The sliver of light turned into a wide beacon, illuminating the wooden floor. She must have been in the middle of getting ready for bed, for she was wearing nothing more than her slippers and a white nightgown. Her eyes turned down to the floor.

"I'm sorry for bothering you at a time like this."

"Hm?" He frowned. "Hey, what's gotten into you? Why're you all scared?"

He leapt to his feet. Just as she stepped in, her hands clasped behind her, the door beginning to slide closed. She really _was_ breathtaking, even more so than the picture-perfect models who chased after him. He had dated many girls before, but none that had made him stumble over his feet the same way. Forced him into daydreaming during class. There was an edge to her that no one else possessed, a fire that could not be calmed. And he could not deny how the flames left him enraptured.

Except all of that was gone now. This was someone entirely different. Some meek little girl, waiting for his guidance. The sight astonished him. Kallen, of all people, did not need guidance. She did what she wanted, when she wanted to.

"Uh…" His arms hung uselessly by his sides. "Is everything okay? You need a hug or something?"

She looked up. Her eyes were wet. "Well, it's just that—"

The door slid closed. And she leapt into motion, a rapid blur, her fist launching into his chest. Stumbling, he fell back onto the bed, the air knocked out of his lungs.

"Hey! What the—"

But something pricked the base of his neck before he could finish. The tip of a switchblade, as cold as ice. Kallen was on top of him, her fist in his hair, her knees pinning him in place. The flame had returned to her eyes—beautiful, bold, and most of all, frightening.

"Now listen here, you piece of shit," she snarled. "I know you were on Kamine Island. What the hell is your game plan?"

"Kamine Island?" Realization dawned on his expression. "Ohh. You mean the Geass place."

"You know exactly what I mean. Why were you there? Huh?" She pressed down on her knees, making him grimace. "Talk, and I won't have to report a murder to the Student Council."

"Report to who? Rivalz?" Despite the fact that he was being crushed, Gino snorted. "You think he'd know how to handle that? Besides, this ain't—_urgh!_—the way to get answers. Y-You talk to all your friends like this?"

"Not my friends." She leaned in closer, a wicked smirk on her face. A trickle of blood dripped down his neck. "Just the pieces of trash I don't have time for."

His eyes widened. "Pieces...of trash…?"

Suddenly, Gino whipped his head back, his body shaking uncontrollably. The wooden bed frame trembled.

"Huh? What are you doing?" Kallen shifted back. "Hey, why are you laughing? Cut it out!"

"Ha...hahaha!" Gino was howling, loud enough to wake the entire academy. "Wow, Kōzuki, you haven't changed a bit!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" she cried. She slammed her palm against his lungs, the twin-sized bed squeaking under her force, the wind knocked out of him. "Will you _stop that!_"

"W-Would you look at that," he wheezed out, nearly in tears. "The Black Ace, threatening her peers for answers. What a riot! You do this for your classes too?"

"Ugh!" She slammed again, one more time for good measure. Watched him shudder under the blow. Then backed off. "Damn it. You're not even worth my time."

Gino coughed as he rose, caught between gasping for air and shaking from laughter. "Gotta say, Kōzuki," he said, sputtering, "I can't think of any girl with the nerve to barge in like that. You're wild."

"Yeah? Aren't you into that? Girls chasing after you?" she snapped. "Or are you too busy gawking at the swim team to care?"

"Aw, come on." He rested his arms on his knees, his chest heaving. "Give a guy a break, won't you? They call me a womanizer, not a pervert."

"Same damn thing to me."

"It's really not."

"Like you would know the difference." She faced him. "So, will you talk? Or am I gonna have to beat you for good this time?"

"Okay, okay, I'll talk," he said cheerfully, holding up a hand. "Let me breathe for a sec. Pretty sure you bruised my lungs."

"Hmph." Kallen crossed her arms. "Be glad I didn't do more to you."

"Actually, I was kinda hoping you would." He winked. "Been a while since I got into a good fight."

"Ugh. You're a pig."

"And you're an intruder. I should be reporting you to security, but I'm not, am I? You oughta thank me." At last, he straightened up. God, was she intimidating when she wanted to be. The look she gave him could have broken a mirror. "Alright, what do you want to know? Now that you've broken in and invaded my privacy?"

Kallen scoffed. She leaned on his desk, her eyes flashing in the dark. "Kamine Island. Tell me everything."

"Pretty vague topic, Kōzuki," he pointed out. "What about it? I mean, the nature is pretty nice. Great for hiking, or if you're—"

"Cut the shit, Weinberg," she interrupted. "We both know you were there that day. When Suzaku and I were saving Lelouch."

He said nothing, though his expression turned blank. Until—"Like I said, what about it?"

She plopped down in his chair, making direct eye contact. As if it wasn't difficult enough for him to keep his breathing steady.

"Why?" she spat out. "Why were you there? On that day, at that time? What is your motive?"

"My motive?" he repeated, stunned. "What're you talking about? The only reason I was there was because I got assigned."

"Don't play dumb," she said. "There's no such thing as coincidences. None that convenient."

"Y'know, sometimes there are." He shook his head. "I dunno what to tell you. I was there because Cornelia picked me to be captain. I followed her orders. I found Suzaku, but he escaped. Then she ordered me to retreat. That's all."

"Not enough. Why were you assigned there? What is Cornelia planning?" She grabbed a fistful of his tank top. "And why shouldn't I kill you right here, right now, to stop you from exposing us?"

"Damn, are you always this uptight?" He raised his eyebrows. "Look, I'm not gonna 'expose' anyone. If I was going to, I would have done it already, alright? I don't have anything to gain."

"Then why?" she demanded. "I don't like owing favors."

"It's not a debt. I'm doing this because I want to." He looked down. "Now, can you let go of me? I don't have the answers you want."

With a flick of her thumb, the blade popped back open. "Bullshit."

"Easy there, Kallen," he warned. "It was a one-time thing. In fact, how 'bout you leave me out of it? Sounds like it's your mess. I don't want any part of it."

Silence. She looked him over, trying to decide whether he was worthy enough for her knife. Despite the lack of light, he could see the outline of her shoulders in her nightgown. They were slim and tense, the muscles carved out. Likely from carrying heavy objects all her life. And those eyes. He could get lost in them all day.

It was almost embarrassing. Even when she was threatening him, he could not take his eyes off of her.

"Hmph." She tossed him back onto the sheets. "Fine. I'll trust you. For now. But if I hear anything different, I'm coming back here. With my knife."

"I expect nothing less." He leaned over, reaching for the guitar on the floor. "Now how 'bout you tell me how you figured out I was there?"

"Huh?" She froze up. "What do you mean?"

"Come on, Kōzuki." With slim fingers—probably better suited for the piano, as mom always said—he twisted the tuning machines, and plucked a string. Off-key already. "'Don't play dumb', remember? I didn't tell you I was going. Pretty sure Cornelia didn't tell you. Suzaku could've, but I doubt it." _Especially not if he kept his promise to me_. "And I know you couldn't have seen me there, not when you were busy dealing with Cornelia. So…"

His eyes turned up, piercing through her. "How'd you find out?"

Kallen quickly looked away. "It was a friend," she mumbled in a hurry. Why did she suddenly seem so intrigued by the textbooks on his desk? "No one important."

"Let me guess. Green hair? Yellow eyes? 'Bout yea high?"

Though she tried to hide it, he saw her flinch. "Uh. W-Well, you see—"

"You're not good at thinking on your feet, huh?" He chuckled. His lungs ached under the effort. "It's fine. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." He strummed a single chord. "By the way, how is Suzaku doing? He still alive?"

She scowled. With the flush in her cheeks, she looked more adorable than fierce. Not that he minded. "I don't owe you any answers."

"So he's alive. Good to hear." His grin widened upon seeing her eyes do the same. "Otherwise, you'd be grieving after I brought him up."

"Hey! T-That's—"

"Say, want to hear a little song?"

Again, she froze. "Wait, what?"

"A song?" He reached out for the guitar pick, lying on his bed stand. "Dunno if you heard me earlier, but I was singing something before you barged in. It'd be nice to get some feedback." His smile was warm, inviting. "C'mon, it's the least you could do after you ruined my night."

Now it was her turn to raise her eyebrows. "Ruined your night, huh? Doesn't seem like you had one to begin with."

"Alright, I'll give you that one," he admitted. "But I promise, it's not bad. The song's a classic—I've been practicing for a special someone. Was gonna save it for her, but I guess I could make an exception. If you're down for a preview."

Despite herself, Kallen giggled. "Poor girl."

He rolled his eyes. It was getting harder to ignore the trembling of his fingers, the butterflies filling up his stomach. Ah, well, such is the price of love, he supposed. "So, what do you say? I know we had our, uh, differences earlier. But now that I'm not bleeding, and you're not trying to kill me…"

The look he gave her rang of hope. "Care to keep this old man company on a Friday night?"

She glanced out, past his window. Was it his imagination, or did she seem to be considering it? "You're insufferable, you know that?"

"I've been told that. Yeah."

"Did you forget how I just tried to murder you?"

He waved her comment aside. "Past is in the past? Hell, this could be you making it up to me. No apology necessary."

She sighed. And looked back at him. For a moment, he thought he saw something in her eyes. Adding on to the fire, making it burn brighter, setting him alight from within. But she shook her head. "That's sweet of you, Gino, but I can't tonight. It's getting late. I should head back. My mom will get worried if I'm not home soon."

"Your mom?" he said. "Seriously? Aren't you nineteen?"

"Yeah. I told her the same thing." She rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry. Next time for sure though, yeah?" She cleared her throat. "And I am sorry. About the knife thing. And the bruises."

"Uh, yeah," Gino stuttered, blinking. She may as well have apologized to the guitar. "Sure. Next time."

His mouth fell shut as she pushed herself to her feet. Already walking away, the distance between them growing wider. He could feel his mind racing as she reached for the door, only to draw a blank._ Come on, you idiot,_ he thought furiously. _Say something._

But it was too late. He already heard the familiar creaking noise, of wood scraping on top of wood. His face fell. The chance had slipped out of his fingers. Maybe, if he was lucky, he would find another way for them to talk. But it would have to be one hell of a coincidence. They were in different years. Their class schedules were all over the place. And besides—

"Hey, Gino?"

He looked up. Kallen was out in the hallway, peering back in. Smiling warmly at him. A smile that made him want to sing to her on the spot, guitar or no guitar.

"Yeah?"

Her expression softened. "I forgot to say this earlier, but I'm interested in someone."

It was like someone had shocked him with a cattle prod. "What? Who?"

"It's Lelouch. I mean, I know it's not that surprising, but—" She shrugged. "Why else do you think I went all the way out there? To Kamine? Because it wasn't for Suzaku."

"Lelouch?" His mouth was agape. "Lelouch...vi Britannia?"

"Do you know any other Lelouch?" she inquired innocently. "Anyways, just thought that, since I asked you about your motives, it's only fair I told you mine. That's all."

The door began to close. "I'll see you around. Hope your friend likes your song."

"Wait!" Gino shot out his hand. Saw her pause. But he was frozen, a deer in the headlights, his tongue wrenched out of him by the way she stood there. By being Kallen.

She looked him over. "By the way, you should put on some pants. It's rude to only wear boxers when you have guests. Especially around a lady."

Then she was gone, the door slamming shut in his face, leaving him alone in the dark with his disbelief. All he could hear was the ticking of his clock. A solid minute passed before his expression gave way to a scowl.

"Son of a bitch." His fingers absentmindedly pressed over the wound on his neck. "She ran circles around me. Guess I'm the fool after all." He glanced down at the guitar, waiting patiently in his lap. And sighed. "Well, might as well finish up. Not like I got anything else going for me on a Friday night."

He slid his fingers into position. Placed the pick at the edge, before gliding it across the strings. Then came the words, flowing out of his lips, like water rushing down a stream. His eyes closed as he sang, lost in the harmony of the chords, entirely unaware that Kallen could still hear him as she made her way down the hall, in awe. Entirely unaware of how her heart skipped a beat, and how, if that was possibly a betrayal of her true feelings, then she chose to ignore it.

_"And if you have a minute, why don't we go_  
_Talk about it, somewhere only we know?_  
_This could be the end of everything.  
_ _So why don't we go somewhere only we know?"_


	10. Dreams and Cherry Blossoms

_"Can dreams change destiny? Can your passion overcome everything?" _— _C.C._

* * *

"How are you feeling?"

C.C. pressed her hand to Lelouch's forehead. Finally, he was no longer burning. It had taken another week, along with continual rest and checkup, but he seemed to be getting better. Far from well, but alive nonetheless.

_Alive. _She still didn't know what to do with that fact.

"Don't you get tired?" Lelouch was in bed, under the blankets, watching her every move. He was speaking normally, the color having returned to his cheeks. For that, she was silently grateful—she had expected far worse. "You and Suzaku have looked after me everyday. I can handle myself."

"You say that every time." She wrung her cloth over the metal bucket. "'Let me handle Nunnally. I can take care of the Black Knights. V.V. is mine to deal with.' When will you learn that there are people to help you?"

"Says the witch herself," he remarked. "You won't accept help from anyone."

"I'm immortal, remember?" She slapped the rag onto his face and wiped. "There's nothing and no one waiting for me."

"Stop using that as your excuse. It gets old." Smothered, he looked over to the side. "Where is Suzaku? Out again?"

"Yes. Said he wanted to go for a walk." There he went again, bringing up Suzaku. Ever since regaining consciousness, and whenever Suzaku was not in immediate sight. She still had no idea what happened that night, after Suzaku had awoken her in desperation, stammering that Lelouch was alive. It was not without trying, either; her attempts at asking had always led to nowhere.

It bothered her more than expected. Whatever Lelouch thought, whatever he felt, she used to experience as well. What could have changed?

"It's the middle of spring, isn't it?" He smiled to himself. "Back at Ashford, Nunnally's favorite thing to do was—"

"Pick flowers from the garden," C.C. finished. "You've told me."

He paused. "I have?"

"Many times. She loved camellias, because they reminded her of Marianne's garden. Correct?"

He stared back. So his short-term memory was still spotty, it seemed. Though she knew of a way to fix that, so long as he desired to do so.

"Do you remember what happened before?" she asked. "Are your memories coming back?"

"Most of them. The important ones. The rest can remain forgotten, so long as they don't get in my way."

"Tch." She dropped the rag. Watched it sink into the clear liquid. "Why do you talk like you've been immortal your entire life?"

"What's wrong?" He smirked. "Not used to someone understanding you for once?"

"Bastard." She returned the smile. "You haven't changed at all."

The moment was brief; his smile vanished soon after. "Have you heard anything?"

"Regarding what?"

His arms trembled as he pushed himself up. Wet strands of his hair clung to his cheeks, forming sleek blades of black. "About—"

"I really don't think that's a good idea," C.C. said. "You need more time to recover."

"I don't have more time," he said. "I have to know where she is."

"Nunnally?" C.C. placed a hand on his chest. His heart was beating steadily. The heat of his skin reminded her of something. A heartfelt memory, too long ago to recall. "Just because we can't contact her doesn't mean she's in danger, Lelouch. Breathe. The stress will only tire you more."

"I can't." His hand grabbed at hers. Even for Lelouch, the grip was pitifully weak. "It was my selfishness that broke her. My fault."

"I told you. She's fine." She tore her fingers out from his. "Sayoko is looking after her. And she is handling Britannia well. The people look up to her as Empress."

He scowled. "Not enough."

"Hm?"

"That's not enough." His eyes roamed over the blank sheets, searching for an answer. "This world is beginning to crumble. Suzaku told me. I wanted to give her peace, and I failed at even that."

"She's found it, you know," C.C. said. "I know you're worried, but she was happy the last time I saw her."

"And how long ago was that?"

"A few months back. At the Exelica Garden. And with Zero too." She tossed her head back, smiling. "What a kind girl. I didn't think she would remember me. She said she missed drinking tea with me at Ashford."

Lelouch buried his face in his hands. "Drinking. Tea."

His voice broke. C.C. looked down. And sighed, as she watched him tremble. _Not again_. Misery constantly found a way to reach the poor boy. And once Lelouch was under its influence, pulling him back to reality was impossible. She was exhausted of being scared for him, of fearing for his well-being. Of waking up in the middle of the night with her heart in her throat, hearing Lelouch scream or curse at his father, locked within a slew of nightmares.

"Come now, Lelouch." Gently, she shook him by the shoulder. "This is not the time for you to break."

"I'm not," he hissed. "I'm just—"

"Overwhelmed?" She leaned into him. "Here, let me help."

"Huh?" At that, he jolted back up. "What are you—"

"Calm down." She pushed him back onto the pillow, not nearly as gently. His eyes were the size of saucers, his heart beating like a hummingbird's wings. "This will help, I promise."

"C.C.!" She couldn't tell whether he was displeased or excited. "This is—!"

"Don't worry, I'll stop. But only if you tell me to."

Carefully, she set herself down, nestling herself on his shoulder. Draped an arm over his chest. His skin felt hot, but not burning, as she wrapped her body around his, partially above the covers. The length of her hair drew down, nearly as long as his entire frame. He was still _so _skinny, made up of no more than bones and skin. But at least she could take solace in his warmth; the most human thing she had felt in ages.

"Is this helping?"

"N-No." Yet he did not move, nor tell her to stop. As expected. All boys were the same.

"Liar. I can feel your heartbeat." She tapped his chest. Her own pulse was racing, but thankfully he seemed too caught up to notice. "You're enjoying this, aren't you? Do you feel better?"

He made a noise of disgust. "Is this why you brought me back? To mess with me like this?"

"Don't be so full of yourself." She looked up, only to see him gazing down in disapproval. "If I wanted to mess with someone, you wouldn't be my first choice. Not with that skinny little frame of yours."

"Do you ever tire of being so irritating?"

"Not at all." She pushed herself up. Her lips grazed against the edge of his ear. With one finger she traced down his jawline, and felt him flinch beneath her touch. "That's why I'm C.C., remember?"

"W-Would you stop that!" he exclaimed. "I don't need this distraction right now!"

"Tch." Slowly, as if to make a point, she drew back. He was panting slightly, the veins clear in his neck. A shame he was such a prude. Marianne must have been an incredibly restrictive mother.

"Tell me, Lelouch. Have you grown tired?"

"Of what?" he said, in between gasps. "Of you?"

"Of being powerless." She wrapped her arms around her knees. It seemed like a beautiful day out, but the grime coating the window made it impossible to tell. "It's been a week. But it hasn't returned, has it?"

Lelouch's expression darkened. "The Geass? No, it hasn't."

"I'm not surprised," said C.C.. "I didn't expect God to be so lenient. Not for a human."

With effort, he rose back up as well. "It's all too simple," he grumbled. "I know there's something hidden behind it."

"Well, the Caretaker said so," she pointed out. "'For every wish that comes true, there is a price to be paid.' Something along those lines."

"And Britannia has gone silent," he continued on, too absorbed in his concern. "Two weeks, yet we hear nothing. They must be planning something. A coup de grace. A public condemnation. Cornelia would never let us roam free."

"Do you ever catch a break?"

"Stop taking this so lightly!" he snapped. "Look at us—we have nothing at our disposal! If Britannia finds us, they'll, they'll—"

"So you do feel powerless," she observed. "Is that correct?"

He halted, consumed in thought, before frustration cracked across his face. "Yes. Without the Geass, I have nothing. No advantage to play."

"I thought you might say that." Once again, C.C. moved in closer. "What if I brought it back? Returned your Geass to how it was before?"

He jolted up. It was the most energy she had seen out of him in a week. "Of course. Your Code."

"Would you agree to it?" she said. "The ultimate power, and the curse that follows?"

That look. Whatever it was, something was beginning to stir in Lelouch's eyes. Was he eager? Nervous? Willing? "I...I don't—"

"You realize the consequences, don't you?" C.C. reminded him. "The nature of Geass. You experienced it yourself. All who touch it are doomed to isolation, one way or another." _Even if it comes from a desire as simple as to be loved_. "The decision is yours, Lelouch. Just don't forget about our contract."

For once, Lelouch seemed at a total loss. His mouth hung open, his lips forming around the words, but failing to make a sound. Blindly, as if searching for a way out, his eyes fell on her. "And what about you?"

"Me?"

"I remember that much. Our contract. Why you kept me alive." It turned into a glare. "You want to die, don't you? Why are you giving me the option now?"

"Since when do you care about anyone aside from yourself?" She said it lightly, without malice, yet he reacted as if she had struck him. For someone who claimed to have a heart of ice, Lelouch was far too compassionate. And sensitive. "You are Lelouch vi Britannia. Have you forgotten who you are?"

"Don't give me that!" he exclaimed. "I know damn well who I am!"

"Won't you answer me then?" It was more of a command than a question. The bed creaked as she leaned in, her lips almost touching his. "Do you wish for power, Lelouch? Will you pay the price of sacrilege for the power of the king?"

Not to her surprise, he hesitated. She could still see it, the look in his eye, flashing at the thought. Growing in size. It told C.C. everything she needed to know, even before he spoke his answer aloud.

* * *

"Cherry blossoms."

Suzaku lifted a hand. Under his fingertips the floret felt soft, almost silky, the tiny white petals bunched together. It was but one of many swarming the branches, surrounding the barn within their maelstrom.

He stepped back. With enough luck, it was to be his first year seeing them bloom in person. Normally he was too preoccupied with his duties—battling the Black Knights, reporting to Britannia, _hiding _from Britannia—and it remained one of his greatest regrets, considering how much Euphemia had loved them. How they reminded him of her. Her scent, her grace, the purity of her spirit.

_Euphie_. His hand traveled into the pocket of the jeans Anya had lent him, worn and torn after years of farm work. If only he still had her hairpin—it must have fallen out during their escape. _After what I did. What we did. It wasn't supposed to be like this. What would you think of this world now?_

He looked up. Not a cloud in the sky. The wind was gentle today, tossing strands of his hair up, the warmth of the sun a welcome change. Far and away from the polluted breaches of the city, the factories and military centers that had turned his country into a breathing war machine.

Perhaps Anya and Jeremiah had been the smartest of them all. If only he, too, could liberate himself from the chains of his past.

If only things were so easy.

"Suzaku."

He turned. C.C. was outside, sliding the door shut. She began walking towards him, her movements graceful, like a feather in the delicate breeze. "I thought you went for a walk. Why are you out here?"

"Not a walk. I just...wanted some fresh air." He gave her a knowing look. "How is Lelouch?"

"He's fine." Her sandals made no sound on the cracked dirt. "Woke up a little while ago. He's resting now."

He exhaled. "Good. It's been another week. I doubt we have much time."

"There's progress. He's not ready, but he's gained back some weight. And starting to remember what happened." Something in her expression shifted. "And he mentions you. Quite a lot, I might add."

"Does he?" Suzaku spun back to the flowers. Somehow, he managed to keep his voice steady. "That's strange. I don't think I've noticed."

"Because he only does it when you're not around." She was by his side now, her fingers inches away from his. "You're both keeping something from me. I wasn't born yesterday."

"No," he muttered, "you certainly weren't."

"Did something happen?" It was not the first time she had asked him. He doubted it would be the last. "When you woke him up?"

"I didn't wake him up, C.C.," he said pointedly. "I told you what happened."

"Hm." She stared ahead, as if she could find her answer in the white of their buds. "So you have. If that's all, then why have you been acting differently as of late?"

His heart skipped a beat. "What do you mean?"

"You're more relaxed. At one point, you couldn't sit still without worrying. Now," she said, gesturing to him, "you go on walks. Take care of the chores. Help Anya pick fruit from the gardens."

"I'm just trying to help out," he said, surprised. "We know this won't last. It's not a bad idea to breathe while we can."

"That's what I'm talking about." There was something in her tone that put him on edge. "You wouldn't say that before. You were so morbid and suspicious."

"Wasn't that a bad thing?"

"Maybe. But it was you." She shot him a sideways glance. "What's happened to you, Kururugi?"

His tongue tied into a knot. What was he supposed to tell her? That now that Lelouch was back, there was something he couldn't bear to lose? That he no longer felt cursed, and could feel life, _real _life, in his system, rather than watching it slip out like water between his fingers?

"Or is it," C.C. began, "that you found what you were looking for? In Lelouch?"

"I—well, I—"

"You love him, don't you?" She reached up and pulled down a branch, the florets tickling her nose. As he watched, Suzaku couldn't help but wonder how many blossoms she must have smelled throughout her lifetimes. "What was the saying that goes with love? It heals all wounds?"

"It's time," Suzaku corrected. "Time heals all wounds."

"Clearly it doesn't." She took a gentle whiff. And sighed with pleasure. "If it did, neither of us would be here."

"Some wounds cut deeper than others."

"Especially when it comes to the ones you love," she added. "Am I wrong, Suzaku?"

His jaw clenched. "No. You're not."

"Hm." C.C. let go, the branch snapping back into place. "So, what is it? Has your love given you purpose?"

"Purpose?" he repeated.

"Did you forget?" There was something in her expression when she turned to him. Something soft, bordering on empathy. "I remember you the night of his anniversary. Grieving, almost hopeless. Like you forgot what happiness was. Your will was gone, I could tell."

"It was gone for a while," Suzaku admitted. "Nunnally's safety was all I had left. And Zero."

"And now?" she said. "You feel differently? Does Lelouch mean that much to you?"

Instead of answering, he gazed back at the barn. Watched it bask under the sun, the shoddy walls trying to hold their own against the wind. He frowned. "I do care for him," he said.

"But?"

"But I don't know the answer. I thought," he mumbled, "that Lelouch might be it. When he woke up, I felt something. It made me—"

"Fulfilled? Complete?"

"More like happy." The words came with hesitation. "Yes. Happy. I knew I'd missed him. I didn't realize how much."

"Have you forgiven him?" C.C. asked. "I wouldn't have expected that from you."

"No." There was no hesitation now, for it was the truth. In every image of Euphie he also saw Lelouch, taunting him from the shadows. "I can't forgive him for what he's done. I don't know if I ever will."

She tilted her head to the side. "Are you a man of contradiction, Suzaku?"

"In what way?"

"I can't understand you." She sounded amused. "You hate him, yet you would sacrifice yourself for him. Yet having him here makes you whole? What is your answer?"

"I…"

He looked around him. At the orange groves watching them for miles, spectating. The branches, covered in white, trying to hide them within. What was his answer, indeed?

"I guess...having Lelouch is enough. I don't know. He gives me reason. I can't say if it's love, or hatred. But it's a reason." He turned to C.C. last. "I think Euphie would have agreed, too. In having him back. Perhaps it's all the purpose I need."

C.C. said nothing. He wondered whether she was paying attention, or even cared. Until she smiled. Though not out of understanding or kindness, but...pity?

"Hm. Pathetic."

Her words crashed into him like the Lancelot into the ocean. "Pathetic?"

"Is that all, Suzaku?" she asked, reaching for another bud. "If your faith lies with Lelouch, then you have no faith at all."

He stiffened. "Who are you to say where my faith lies?"

"Even the most lost of individuals have a glimmer of faith. It comes from within. Your own desires, dreams, hopes, fears. Not in someone else. If you convinced yourself otherwise," she added, "then you are hopeless, indeed."

"Hopeless?" The way she was looking at him. Like she was _disappointed _in him. He hated it. "You dare say that, when you have no soul yourself?"

"Correct. My purpose faded long ago. But you—you are not condemned to live forever, are you?" Her tone was blunt, unforgiving, without a trace of anger. "My life should be temporary. Yet I am denied the luxury."

"You're lying," he retorted. "I know you wish for more than that. And what about Lelouch? The Black Knights, the Zero Requiem—it was all for Nunnally's sake."

"So he says." She nodded. "But you and I know him well enough to know otherwise. His cause was for a just world. Not solely for his sister."

"A just world_ for _his sister," Suzaku pointed out. "Or are you saying Nunnally doesn't matter to him?"

"Of course not. But—and be honest with me, Suzaku—do you really think he would have rebuilt the world in her favor, had she not believed in peace?" She gazed up at the blue canvas. "If Nunnally wanted, say, world domination, do you think Lelouch would have done the same thing?"

He blinked. It was not a scenario he had considered before. "Well—"

"His dream was his resolve. Defying laws his father had set in stone. Nunnally was a guiding light to show him how." Her hair was a wave of green, the wind blowing it about. "Was that not also your dream? You wanted a better world, did you not?"

Her last words cracked something within. His face fell. "It was," he mumbled, his fingers trembling ever-so-slightly. "But after what happened. The lives I took. The lives taken from me. I had given up on the idea."

"Just like me," C.C. said. "Stripped away. You had a soul once."

The trembling worsened. "Once. But now, with Lelouch back. Maybe—"

"You wish to use Lelouch as a reason," C.C. claimed, still staring at the sky, not noticing him recoil, "to feel whole again. A mask to hide what's inside you." She sighed. "Then tell me, Suzaku. What will you do if he dies again?"

The sun was unbearably warm, yet Suzaku suddenly felt cold. "You don't mean—"

"I cannot say. But given where we are, death may not seem so out of the cards." Her eyes narrowed. "Well, for most of us, anyway."

"Stop. We agreed to keep him safe." The razor edge had returned to his voice. "Did you forget already?"

"I'm simply—"

_"Hey!"_

He looked up. Standing outside, leaned against the shed door, was Lelouch, almost hidden within the white shirt draped over him. He was hunched over his jeans, panting weakly, already out of breath.

"What is he doing?" Suzaku said. "Didn't you say he wasn't ready?"

"He's not." There was a puzzled look on her face. "I don't know why he's out here. He's not well enough to be moving around."

"Why leave him in the first place?"

"He said he'd be fine. I didn't tell him to do _this_. Besides, it's probably you he's after." Suzaku could have sworn there was an accusation hiding in there. "You know no one can stop him once his heart is set."

"Suzaku!" Lelouch called out raggedly. With both hands, he pushed himself up. "I must speak to you. Now!"

"What? He...wants to talk? To me?" Suzaku stuttered. "Why? Should I—"

"No, it's fine. I'll go get him. He wanted to see the flowers too." The pity in C.C.'s voice had vanished, now back to a blank slate. She moved past him without sparing a glance. "Don't worry. As far as Lelouch is concerned, this conversation never happened.

"Hold on. C.C.—"

"Keep it in mind, Suzaku. What we said today. I won't speak of it again."

Her hair tumbled behind her as she walked off. Suzaku suddenly felt lightheaded. The sweet scent wafting through the air had turned sour, making him sick._ Damn it, C.C._, he thought, watching as Lelouch slung an arm over her shoulder. Lelouch, stumbling over his own feet. _What am I supposed to do now? After you left me like this?_

She was cradling him so delicately as they walked, as if she were the only thing keeping him together. Her body was turned in, trying to shield him from the wind, one hand on his chest. Worry weighed down her shoulders.

Just as he thought. Ever since Kamine Island, when she cried before the Thought Elevator. _And she said she had no purpose._

"Lelouch?" Suzaku could see the top of his head as he got closer. "Why are you out of bed? What do you need?"

"I must talk to you." They came to a stop. "Alone."

C.C. raised her eyebrows. "Don't worry," she said, letting him go. "I won't intrude on your lover's spat."

Suzaku nearly choked. "Stop it! You know that's not it! Right, Lelouch?"

"No." He sounded like he was trying not to laugh. "That's saved for later."

"Hey, don't joke—"

"Fine." C.C. sighed. "I'll be inside if you need me." She spun around, but not before she gave Suzaku a look. One that made him catch his breath, and seemed to say, _be it on your head, Suzaku Kururugi_. Then she was gone.

At last, Lelouch managed to regain his breath. He straightened up. He still seemed frail, much to Suzaku's concern, though there was nothing weak about the look in his eyes. Their usual clarity was obscured, kept behind fogged glass, as they always were whenever Lelouch tried to hide his true feelings.

"Suzaku." At least his voice was steady. "Where is Zero now?"

Suzaku stepped back, nearly crashing into the tree. "Zero?"

"The mask. The suit. I didn't see you bring it with you." Lelouch lifted his hand. "You still have it, don't you?"

"Well, yes," Suzaku said, staring down at his fingers. They were thin and slender, and covered in calluses. "I left it with Sayoko. She took my place as Nunnally's guardian. Didn't I tell you this?"

"Did you? You told me about Nunnally, but not what happened to Zero." Lelouch grinned. "I never got to thank you. For fulfilling my last wish."

"Oh. Of course, Lelouch. I guess I must have passed over it." It was hard to keep the disappointment out of his voice. "Is that all?"

"Not quite." He inched past him. "Are these cherry blossoms?"

"Yes." For some reason, they did not seem as beautiful as Suzaku had originally thought. As if something had tainted their purity. "It's my first time seeing them."

"Is that so?" Like him, Lelouch raised a hand to their sealed buds. "Wasn't this Euphemia's favorite flower?"

The name twisted in his gut like a knife. Especially coming from Lelouch, from _Zero_, out of everyone. "Yes."

"I remember." Lelouch leaned forward, his eyes closed. "These were her favorite. Whenever we played in the garden, she wanted to pick them. Cornelia, on the other hand, loved her tulips. And Nunnally, camellias."

"And you? What did you pick?"

He was still grinning when he turned back around. "Nothing. I watched the nobles play chess."

"Wow." Suzaku shook his head. "Of course you did."

"I couldn't bring myself to appreciate them. They were just flowers. Nothing special." His gaze fell. "But I do miss their beauty. You're never quite aware of how precious something is until it's gone, are you?"

Suzaku's half-smile disappeared. "No, you aren't."

The wind was growing in strength. Lelouch stood still, lost in thought, the hanging sleeves of his shirt billowing out. He looked nothing like the tyrant who had once brought the world to its knees. Just a college student working on a farm.

It was moments like these that Suzaku missed the most. The two of them together, cut off from the world. Before Lelouch had been consumed by power, or ambition, or whatever else it was that had driven him to madness. With his hair in the wind and the soft smile on his cheeks, he looked so..._happy._

"I never thought," Lelouch murmured, "we would find ourselves here, you know. I thought The Zero Requiem was a guarantee for the future." His smile became tinged with scorn. "My sacrifice was for nothing."

"Not for nothing," Suzaku blurted out. "You brought peace to the world. For a whole year."

"It was not meant to last a year. It was meant to last for eternity." He chuckled. "I guess even back then, my power wasn't enough."

Suzaku's mouth hardened into a line. "Your power?"

"Geass." He said it as if it were obvious. "I built an army. Conquered Damocles, the FLEIJAs. What more could I have done?"

"It doesn't matter now, does it?" Suzaku asked, his voice slightly strained. "The past can't be changed. Your Geass is gone."

Lelouch's smile returned. Except something about it was different, and in a way that caused Suzaku's stomach to flip. "Maybe not the past," Lelouch began, "but tomorrow is a different story."

"What are you talking about?"

"Suzaku." He looked back up, making direct eye contact. Though it was slight, Suzaku could see something flashing within. Red. Glowing. As despicable as God's crooked grin from when she had condemned them to suffer. "Perhaps I was naïve before, thinking we wouldn't need it."

"Lelouch." Suzaku could feel himself turning numb. "Don't tell me—"

"The world turns. Wishes fall, desires rise. But what do people accomplish with their mindless pleas for change?" He raised his arm, his fingers arched, as if they held the answer. "Power should only be wielded by those who know how to use it. If given the chance, wouldn't you want to make those pleas a reality?"

It was like Suzaku had been pulled back in time. For so long now—an entire lifetime, it seemed—he would have given anything to go back, if only to relive how Lelouch used to be. When he had been alive, and driven by purpose, instead of a dead man walking.

But not like this.

"You did it?" The words dripped out of his mouth like melting candle wax. "Even after everything? You chose Geass? _Again?_"

"A necessary evil," Lelouch said, unwavering. There was no mistaking it now. No matter how Suzaku wished it was a trick of the sunlight. The sigil was branded into his eyes, distorting their purple, a splatter of blood against lilac. "For what is to come. This was how I changed the world before. How the Black Knights, the Zero Requiem, was possible."

"And did you forget," Suzaku said, dumbstruck, "what came out of it? The destruction it caused? How it killed you?!"

"Geass may destroy others," he said, "but it helped me realize who I was. A bringer of change among mortals. And I would do it all again. I will reform the world, if I must."

_Do it all again. _His words were like gunpowder, igniting Suzaku's veins with hatred. This was Zero speaking—no longer his best friend, and certainly not the Lelouch who had whispered his last dream while bleeding in his arms. The man who would cast humanity aside without looking back. Who cared not for life, nor morality, but only his corrupt ambitions.

"God damn it, Lelouch," he snarled. "You haven't changed at all, have you?"

"'Change'?" Lelouch snorted. "You wanted me back. Yet you expected me to change?"

"I wanted my friend back." His anger was barely contained, a crackling fury beneath a sliver of ice. "Not this. Whatever the hell you're supposed to be!"

"Nonsense. You know who I am. You believed in me as much as I did." He took a step forward. "What about the Requiem? We agreed that sacrifices are—"

"—inevitable for change," Suzaku finished. "I remember. But that was when we had no choice. Not now. This is..."

"The same thing," Lelouch cut in. "Don't be a hypocrite, Suzaku. We both have killed, right or wrong be damned. It was inevitable."

Suzaku drew in a sharp breath. _Blood, soaking through his cloak. Her body in his arms_. Inevitable, perhaps, but not forgivable by any means. "I don't understand. Why would you give up your soul for this? Does having power mean that much to you?"

"You don't understand?" The corners of Lelouch's mouth turned up. "Suzaku. Do you remember the conversation we had? About how Geass is like a wish?"

A short pause, the silence disturbed only by the delicate branches in the wind. Then: "A wish?"

"Have you forgotten?" Lelouch moved closer, close enough for Suzaku to catch his breath. His shirt fell just below his neck, his collarbone sharp and jagged against paled skin. "It's a request for someone to give you the power to achieve what you can't on your own."

"When we were in the royal hall." Suzaku gave a single nod. "The day before the Requiem. But I don't—"

"I shall shoulder this Geass," Lelouch continued on, "as my request to save this world, and us from danger. If it gives me any power at all, I will bear it."

"You've done more than enough there, Lelouch," said Suzaku. "You brought peace before, but at what cost? This isn't worth it."

"I refuse to cower before fate." Lelouch scowled. "I will sin as many times as I must. Even if it makes me undeserving of this second life." He ran his fingers through his hair. "My soul is already far beyond saving. Lord knows how you managed to do it."

_He's right. _Resolve, as tough as steel, coursed through him. The trembling of his fingers disappeared as they curled into fists. _He doesn't deserve it. For everything he did, he ought to be burning in Hell. He killed Euphie. So why? Why did I do all this?_

Then he heard another voice. Not a foreign one, but wretched in its familiarity. Clawing up the walls, ignoring his attempts to block it out, whispering from the hiding place at the bottom of his heart.

_You know why._

"Lelouch, no. Your faults cannot be forgiven," Suzaku said at last. At that, Lelouch raised his eyebrows. "And now that you've returned, you have a second chance to right your wrongs. To _live_, like you told me to. Don't give me reason to regret what we've done."

"Do you regret it already, Suzaku?" he wondered. "You hated me once. I'm surprised you went this far."

"I did." There was something within that sliver of truth that sparked him into motion. Driven by impulse, he dug his fingers into Lelouch's shirt. "And I still do."

"Suzaku, what are—"

"I don't care how well-intentioned you are. Whether you have Geass or not. You owe me an answer." Suzaku pulled him in close, until he could clearly see the whites of Lelouch's eyes, pulsating out of shock. Just like Euphie's when Zero had shot her. "Tell me, Lelouch. Why did you kill Euphie?"

"Huh? Are you serious?" Suzaku didn't think he could get any paler than he already was. "You're asking me this now?"

"I want an answer. I've waited for too long." Her death felt like eons ago. Eons of questioning his faith, their friendship, and what could have been different. He was beyond weary of waiting. "You murdered her. Because of your Geass. And I want to know _why._"

Something he said must have triggered Lelouch; like clockwork, his fear was gone, replaced by something else. Resignation?

"Ah," Lelouch said softly. "Of course."

"Of course _what?_"

"I remember. I shot her after the massacre, didn't I?"

"The massacre _you _started," Suzaku accused, his grip tightening, "as your explanation to kill her. To manipulate the Japanese. Right?"

"Yeah." Lelouch looked away, unable to meet his eyes. "It was a mistake. She served no purpose in the end. The rebellion was too weak for us to follow through."

"Served...no purpose…" His vision was turning red. "You used her, didn't you? Another one of your pawns?"

"Yeah."

"Why? Because you hated her?"

"No." His conviction was weaker than the grip of his fingers as they wrapped around Suzaku's. They felt warm, and slightly dry, the texture of dull sandpaper. "I looked down on her. She wasn't taking advantage of her position. So I thought I could—"

But he never got to finish. The next second he was lying on the dirt, the fallen buds beneath him, his body contorted in pain. A red mark was spreading across his cheek as Suzaku drew his fist back.

"You son of a bitch," he hissed. "You're lying to me again, aren't you?!"

A groan escaped Lelouch as he tried to get up. And failed. "Suzaku—"

"I know you're lying, Lelouch!" Rage had clouded over his senses. Only Lelouch was left, sprawled on the ground, along with whatever lies he was spouting now. "I know you loved her once, too!"

"I—what?" Lelouch looked as if he had seen a ghost. "Where did you hear that?"

"You think I don't know?" He was towering over him now. With how weak Lelouch was, he could easily break him in half if he wanted to. Only a hairs' breadth away from avenging her lost memory. "Answer me, Lelouch. Tell me the truth, damn it! Or I swear, I'll—"

He grimaced. The words would not come out. Sweat was dripping down his brow, the sun glaring down on them. How could it be that, even now, the other half of him still longed to sweep him into his arms?

Lelouch covered the wound with his hand, wincing. "The truth? You, a traitor who lied to get where you are, wish for the truth?"

"Don't pull that on me now," he fired back. "You don't get to speak of morals, you bastard!"

Lelouch sucked in a breath. His eyes widened. "Suzaku, I…"

"You don't understand." Shaking, Suzaku lowered his arms. He still couldn't do it. Not even with the fire in his veins. "She was my first love too."

Lelouch looked away. "I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to fall in love with her."

"No. That's not it. You can't control who you love." _I would know better than anyone_, he thought, as he fell to his knees. "But everything else, Lelouch—why? How could you do that to her?"

His voice cracked near the end. He couldn't help it. He yearned for it, the words that would calm the war raging inside of him. And yet, now that the truth was before him, part of him was deathly afraid. Once he got his answer, what was he to do then? Act as if Lelouch had not left him shattered, and continued on without so much as a second glance?

"Suzaku." Lelouch gingerly touched his arm. "I'm sorry. I wish there was some way I could change it."

His trembling stopped. For the first time since Lelouch had begged on his knees at the Kururugi shrine, there seemed to be remorse in his voice.

"It was too late to save her." Lelouch was gone, a faded look in his eyes. He stared at the ground, as if the fallen blossoms could change the course of history. "The Geass took over before I could stop it. It was the only way out."

"For her?" Suzaku said. "Or for you?"

Lelouch flinched. "For both of us," he murmured, rubbing his cheek again. "The Geass, it went out of control. And I told her to kill them." His eyes closed halfway. "The Japanese. It was never her fault. You have to know that."

"How did it activate?" he demanded. "By accident?"

"Yeah." His voice was thick with loathing. "An accident. I joked that she should kill them. Then it cast over her."

"Huh? Lelouch, if you're lying—"

"I'm not," he answered. He did not seem to know where to look. "I wish. I wish it wasn't true."

"But...it can't be." Suzaku felt like he was wavering—he wasn't sure if it was in his head or not—and about to topple over the edge. "A joke? The massacre, her death—it was all because of a _joke_?"

Pain sprung across Lelouch's expression. "You have every right to hate me, Suzaku, but if there's anything I could've done different, I would have saved her. It is one of my greatest regrets. I know my words are worthless, but—"

"Lelouch. Lelouch, please. Stop."

Something inside of Suzaku was coming undone, his vision blurry. The swaths of white swung over his head, laughing at him, laughing at Euphie's memory, their cloying scent inescapable. Colors, scents, all reminding him of her. And her murderer, the same man who held his heart captive, lying no more than a few feet away. Entirely reborn. Because of him.

He almost wanted to laugh. To think he was no longer cursed.

Lelouch's voice, soft and out of nowhere, reached him. "Suzaku—"

"Hello?"

He and Lelouch both snapped up. Back at the barn, C.C. was standing in the doorway. "You wanted to see the Annual Commencement, right? Well, it's starting."

"The commencement?" Suzaku mumbled, not fully understanding. "Now?"

Still smarting, Lelouch tried to sit up. "Suzaku, perhaps we should—"

"Yes. We should go back." His words came out lifeless. "We've been here long enough, anyway."

Lelouch's gaze fell. "Yeah. I guess so."

But neither of them moved. Even with the cherry blossoms, orange trees, and cloudless sky surrounding them they were isolated in the middle of nowhere, a crippling emptiness to their name. The silence between them stretched into years, speaking what no words could. How regret, pain, and blood could be spilled by the hands of sorrow.

"Come on." Finally, Suzaku stood up. He held out his hand. "Or we'll miss it."

Lelouch blinked, surprised, before placing his hand in his. Suzaku lifted him to his feet and wrapped him around his shoulders, cradling his weight as Lelouch leaned against him. He could feel his hair pressing up on the side of his cheek. His breath, warm and shallow, running down his neck.

"I'm sorry, Suzaku," Lelouch mumbled as they began walking. "For everything."

Suzaku froze. He closed his eyes, if only for a moment. Then nodded before continuing. "So am I."

* * *

"Goodness, what happened to you?" C.C. wiped carefully at Lelouch's cheek with her cloth. "The one time I leave you alone, you get yourself injured?"

"I fell." He was staring intently at the TV, watching the commercials blabber on about tutoring classes at Ashford. Some part of Suzaku wondered if they would ever see the Academy again. "The ground is harder than you think. Nothing more."

"Hm." C.C. did not reply, though she glanced suspiciously in Suzaku's direction. "Was that all, Suzaku?"

"Yes." It was his first time speaking since their return, after he had set Lelouch down for C.C. to tend to before standing back and observing them in silence. His expression twisted as he leaned against the bed frame. "Is he going to be okay?"

"Mhm," C.C. said, clearly not believing him. "The bruises are mild, so it—"

"Hold on," Lelouch interrupted. "It seems to be starting."

The screen was flashing, the static interrupting the broadcast as the cameras focused in. Suzaku squinted—and recognized the room immediately. It was a massive stage of shining wood, the same stage Charles and Lelouch had both stood on as Emperor, with a trailing red walkway leading up the stairs to the Britannian throne. Drapes of red and gold hung down the back wall, next to the dual maroon columns, the royal Britannian crest hanging between them. Even with the camera's angle, he could see the crowd gathering near the front. Japanese, Britannian, a mix of every age and social class, from peasants to nobility. All waiting eagerly.

Lelouch smiled to himself. "The makings of royalty. How quaint. Do you miss it, Suzaku?"

Suzaku said nothing. C.C. gave him another look, this time out of curiosity, but remained silent. The sound of trumpets, fizzled and distorted, blasted from the speakers.

"You would think," C.C. mumbled, turning forward, "they'd be more on time, given the delay. It should have started twenty minutes ago."

_That's right_, Suzaku thought. _It was supposed to take place two weeks ago, the morning after we left. Nunnally was talking about it nonstop. _Worry coursed through him. Hunting after them must have thrown a wrench into Britannia's plans, and her guaranteed safety. _Nunnally, will you be there today?_

"She should be there," Lelouch said, mirroring his thoughts. "Nunnally...you must be there. Please."

C.C. placed a hand on his shoulder. "Relax. I'm sure you'll see her. Look, there's Cornelia coming out."

"Indeed," Lelouch muttered, watching as Cornelia marched towards the stage, her white cape gliding across the floor. A legion of knights followed in her footsteps. "She looks exactly as I remember. Still as angry and uptight."

C.C. smirked. "So, like you?"

"Shut it, witch." His eyes narrowed. "Why did she stop at the front? Only the Empress should be delivering the address."

_"People of Britannia!" _Cornelia swept her cape aside, revealing her white and crimson bodysuit. _"No_. _People of the world! I come with a declaration from the Empress herself!"_

"What?" Suzaku lumbered forward. "That can't be right. Nunnally would never—"

"Shh!" C.C. hissed. "Listen."

_"...of terrible times!" _Cornelia said to the crowd. _"We once banded together in the face of evil. Now, I am afraid to inform that it has returned. Waiting at our front doorstep. We must not back down, but gather together! To ensure peace continues to last!"_

"The irony of it all," Lelouch muttered, watching the crowd cheer. "They're nothing more than sheep."

_"You see, my knights and I discovered a horrible truth. As you all know, over one year ago, the demon Lelouch was slain by the masked hero. Now," _Cornelia said, lifting her spear into the air, _"he has returned! Risen from the dead to destroy the world once again!"_

She gestured behind her. One of the drapes fell to the ground, revealing a portrait pinned to the wall. A gilded painting of Lelouch, in his Emperor robes, staring dead at the camera.

Suzaku could see people gasping. Heads turning. Hear their frightened mumbling, questions being asked. He frowned. "Nunnally isn't here for any of this."

"Exactly." Lelouch gripped the edge of the table, his fingers turning white. "She's committing subterfuge. Nunnally could still be in danger."

_"We have more despairing news." _Cornelia clutched at her chest, as if horrified. _"The knight of betrayal, Suzaku Kururugi_—_he lives on as well. Hiding from us and deceiving us, working with the demon himself!"_

"What?" Suzaku paled. As if in slow motion, he saw the second curtain drop. And saw his own painted reflection glaring back. "Did she—"

"Damn it, Cornelia," Lelouch snarled. "I knew this was coming. You played all your cards before I could make a move!"

"They're really getting riled up," C.C. observed, watching the uproar grow louder by the second. "She's manipulating their worst fears. And no one is speaking against it."

"Which makes everything that much harder," Lelouch said. "With the people rallying behind her, we have no forces to count on."

_"Citizens, please!" _Cornelia raised one hand. Almost at once, the chaos died down. _"I understand your concern, your fears. But we must remain strong. To conquer the demon and vanquish his knight for good. We must see to it that tomorrow comes! Our own knight shall ensure that peace lives on!"_

Suzaku's brows furrowed. "'Own knight'?"

"There's Schneizel," Lelouch said, in disgust, watching the prince rise up the stage to stand by Cornelia's side. "Why is he there? Shouldn't he be following after you, Suzaku, as I commanded?"

A sense of dread coursed through him. "Yes. He should be."

_"My fellow Britannians. Japanese. To those gathered before us. And those watching at home." _His smile had not changed, back from when he fooled the world over a year ago. Warm, yet jagged, like the edge of burning steel. _"I sincerely thank you for joining us. There is no greater honor for me than to introduce our savior."_

"No." C.C.'s eyes went wide, her voice catching in her throat. A shiver went up Suzaku's spine. Was C.C. _scared_? "It can't be—"

But Suzaku would never know what couldn't have been, for her train of thought was cut off by someone dropping from the high ceiling. Gasps of shock came from the crowd. The person landed gracefully on their feet, as if the fall were nothing. As they stood up, Suzaku could make out a cloak, the color of black and gold, circled around a dark purple bodysuit, the sheath of a sword wrapped around their waist. And there, sitting at the very top, was the spiked obsidian mask.

"What?" Lelouch pushed himself out of his seat. "That...that's—"

"Impossible." Suzaku's mouth dropped. He stumbled back, almost crashing into the bed. "Only Sayoko—"

_"People of the world!" _Slowly, dramatically, Zero walked up to their place between Cornelia and Schneizel. They raised their arms out, the crowd chanting the name in glory. "_There is no reason to fear. I, Zero, shall lead you to tomorrow!"_


	11. Prelude of Chaos

_They do say that war is the mother of invention..." - Lloyd Asplund_

* * *

"So, what now?" Kallen asked, her fingers drumming on top of the table. Here she was again, across the country, the tension in the barn only second to a sense of desperation. When it came to Lelouch, it wasn't the first time. "Surely you have some idea?"

"No, I don't," Lelouch said. Ten minutes later and he was still staring at his glass on the table. "They've forced us into a corner. We have no soldiers, no resources. No weapons or bargaining chips either. There's nothing to our advantage."

"But you got your Geass back, right?" Kallen said. "There has to be a way to use it."

"Don't you hate Geass, Kallen?" C.C. wondered from her place by Lelouch, her hands resting on his shoulders. She had been floating over him since Kallen's arrival, comforting him like some guardian angel. As if Lelouch were fine china, and she were the tape over the cracks. The sight of it was ridiculous, and more than a little maddening.

Not that it was any of her business what they did, of course. Lelouch was free to see whoever he wanted. Even if the jealousy biting at her said otherwise.

"I do," Kallen replied, "but if it's all we have—"

"You've never approved of our methods," C.C. continued, "as far as I could tell."

Kallen frowned. "'Our' methods?"

"I don't know what we can do," Lelouch mumbled. "We cannot assume they don't have Nunnally. If we make one false move—"

"They wouldn't kill the Empress," Kallen cut in hastily. "No way. That'd be an act of treason. They wouldn't go that far."

"I'm sure they could spin it in their favor. They have the world wrapped around their finger. With enough support, they could do whatever they wanted." His smile was bitter. "That's how politics work in this world. Nothing but corruption and lies."

"But..."

"He's right, Kallen," Suzaku spoke up. He was standing off to the side, leaning against the wall. "We can't afford to go too far. Not if Nunnally could get hurt."

She turned to him. "Not you too."

"We have to look at the whole picture," he said, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You think I enjoy sitting around? I hate waiting as much as you, but—"

"But what?"

He opened his mouth. Nothing came out. Aside from a noise of disgust. "Waiting is all we can do."

"I don't believe that," Kallen countered. "It's not going to get us anywhere, especially if they're already after us. Listen, Lelouch: you have your Geass, right? And you have us."

At that, he looked up. "Us?"

"Suzaku and I." She stood up, determined. "The two strongest knights in the empire, fighting for you. Don't tell me you can't think of something. You haven't gone soft, have you?"

It was a meager strand of hope, but hope nonetheless. If she were to risk her life, it might as well be for the one person who could change things around. A little nudge in the right direction wouldn't kill him. Or Nunnally, despite what he believed.

"Hm?" Something flickered in his eyes. Faint, but definitely there. Thank God. So he wasn't too broken. "_Soft?_"

"You want to save Nunnally?" she asked, approaching him. "Then find a way to make it happen. It's not like you haven't before. Be the leader that turns dreams into reality, like you promised."

Suzaku straightened up. "Hey. Kallen."

"So what if you don't have an army?" she pressed on. C.C. was staring at her, expressionless, but she couldn't have cared less. _Someone _had to light the fire in him, and they were too afraid to do so. But Lelouch was not made of porcelain. He would not break. She knew that better than anyone. "You're a miracle worker, aren't you? So overtake them with strategy. Convince whoever needs convincing. Become the symbol I know you can be. Are you going to let Nunnally remain in danger?"

His intake of breath was sharp. "You—"

"Or are you going to be a good brother," she persisted, ignoring the look on his face, "and actually do something about it?"

Now it was clear. The flicker, growing into a spark, as bright as it had been on the day of his reawakening in Babel Tower. "Do you think I would be wasting my time here if I could?" he snapped. "What would you do if you had the government on your tail?"

"No idea." She grabbed his shirt and pulled him to his feet. "That's why I'm not Zero. I never was. _You _are."

"Kallen..." he started. Recognition dawned over his expression. "I see. Are you done trying to antagonize me?"

"That depends," she said. "Are you done feeling sorry for yourself?"

He did not answer immediately. Instead, he looked over her, considering her as if she were a chess piece, deliberating the best position for him to call checkmate. Eventually, he opened his mouth. "Fighting for me, huh?"

Her grip on him weakened. "What?"

"Nothing. I'm glad you've come to my side."

"Well, I did go through the trouble of saving you."

"Indeed. It's good to see your heart is still with me."

"My heart? Still with you?" she stuttered, her fingers about to slip. "That's a weird way—"

"Hey, Suzaku." C.C. walked around her, over to where he stood by the stacks of hay, and tugged at his sleeve. "I think we should go."

"What? Why?"

She leaned in, whispering in his ear. It lasted a few seconds, but whatever she said must have convinced him—he straightened up again and nodded. "Kallen, we'll be outside," he said. The look he gave her told her nothing. "Let us know when you're ready."

"Huh? Why are you leaving?" Kallen burst out. "We're not done yet!"

"Enjoy your time with Lelouch," C.C. called over her shoulder. She followed Suzaku as he stepped out. "If you need us, let us know."

"Hold on—"

The door slid shut. Kallen stared after them, dumbstruck. Until she heard Lelouch's voice, saying, "Uh, Kallen? Can you let go of me now?"

"Huh?" She turned back. And let out a yelp as she dropped him unceremoniously. "Crap. Sorry."

"You haven't changed either, have you?" he said as he regained his footing. "Though it's been over a year since we've seen each other. Hasn't it?"

She said nothing in response.

"Where was the last time we spoke? Before, well…"

"You died?" she finished. "At Ashford. For the United Federation Conference. When you took everyone hostage."

"Ah. That's right," he mumbled. "I remember. On the stairwell."

Kallen's gaze fell to the floor. "I thought for sure it was goodbye. Then came what happened after, and—"

"That's right," he said again. "You kissed me."

Her pulse shot up like a rocket. "What?" she stammered. "Oh. Oh yeah, right. That. That happened. Look, it wasn't—"

"You caught me by surprise. Why did you—"

"H-Hey, why don't we talk about something else?" she blurted out, suddenly very aware that she and Lelouch were alone. Their first time alone together since that parting kiss, long ago. Not to mention that the barn was awfully cramped, and the distance between them small. In fact, small enough that she only needed a step or two to move in closer, and—

"Um, how are you feeling? Better?" she asked. Why, in Heaven's name, was she _blushing? _"When I saw you a week ago, you were still knocked out."

"Well enough." There was a hint of amusement in his voice. She hated it. "How did you make it here on such short notice?"

"It's a Saturday, remember? I don't have class. I booked it as soon as I heard the commencement."

"No, I'm aware of that," he said. The chair creaked as he sat back down. "I mean, how did you get here so quickly? The trip should have taken you hours, but you arrived not long after the commencement ended."

"Oh." She looked away. "I, uh, may have taken something I shouldn't have. To get here."

"Such as?"

Her voice was basically a murmur. "The Guren."

"What?" he said, gawking at her. "Isn't there a ban on Knightmares outside of government affairs?"

"...Yeah. There is."

"So how did you fly one without being detected? And the _Guren, _at that?"

"Well," she began, "It's nighttime, isn't it?"

"That's of no importance! The constant surveillance, the public eye—there's no way you could have snuck past. Not by normal means." His brows furrowed together. "What are you hiding?"

_Crap. _She knew she should've come up with an excuse. "Look, I promised I'd keep it a secret," she said. "But I used a...a network of sorts."

"A network? A _secret _network?" he said. "Why do I not know about this?"

"Because it's C.C.'s. She didn't want to get you involved."

"I think it's too late for that. Don't you?"

She sighed. He was right, but she'd hoped the fake reasoning might have stopped him. C.C. had made it clear the details were to be kept secret. But the thought of ruining Lelouch's trust in her seemed worse, a hundred times more so. The trust of _Zero._

"Well, it's not so much a network," she finally answered, "as it is a route. A dangerous route. It's what C.C. used to travel before Kamine Island."

He stared. "To travel?"

"There are specific routes that connect from one side of the country to the other. Most of them are dangerous. Going by foot is impossible. But if you have a Knightmare, it's doable. Really difficult, but doable."

"I see. So we can use it to escape from here?"

"Technically, yes," Kallen answered. "Almost all the routes are sealed off, so no one considers them."

"What about the government?"

"There's surveillance, but barely. Apparently the cameras switch for maintenance during the night. The time frame is small, but if a Frame is fast enough and the pilot can dodge through, then they can avoid getting caught."

It took a while for her words to sink in. "Why did I not know about this?" Lelouch eventually said, and for the second time.

"Because it's pretty much unusable, as far as I know. Jeremiah had government access. Plus, his frame was a literal tank. And I'm a good pilot."

"So you are," he murmured, one hand over his mouth. "C.C. knew about this? From where?"

"Don't ask me," Kallen said unhelpfully. "She just gave directions in her letter. Not that it helped the first time—I still had to travel by cart."

"Hm," he mused. "So we can not only escape, but also move around when needed. Perhaps, then..."

Kallen said nothing, watching him as he considered his options. She had been so afraid that the announcement, along with Nunnally's disappearance, would have left him in pieces. Like the day his sister had been declared Viceroy, and she had found him sitting at the construction site, moments from shooting Refrain up his arm. A part of her was still scared—Lelouch was so _bad _at handling any major loss—but maybe things were different now. With C.C. around and Suzaku on his side, there was more of a cushion around his heart, and the thought comforted her as much as they might comfort him.

Still, there was an uneasiness she couldn't shake off. Provoking Lelouch with his past glory had seemed like a good idea, but watching him now brought a bitter taste to her mouth. There was no trace of hesitation. She could see it forming, the smirk of a madman. As if the previous bloodshed, the sacrifices he made, had amounted to nothing. What could he be thinking? Especially after what had happened before?

_What happened before. _Her expression gave way to a frown, one she couldn't hide. _I can't let him blind me, _she thought. _I still need to know._

"Lelouch. I need to ask you something."

"Hm?" he responded, half-listening. "What is it?"

"Tell me why you did it," she said. "The Zero Requiem."

That snapped him out of his musing. "The Requiem? You know about it?"

"It was for Nunnally, right?" she said. "I didn't figure it out until it was over. But when I saw Zero, it fell into place. I knew. I knew there had to be another reason." The roughness to her voice disappeared. "Lelouch, tell me. Why? Why did you give yourself up like that? I thought Rivalz would never smile again. Milly cried for days. Nunnally was heartbroken for months. And I—"

She wavered. All the times she'd practiced this speech in her bedroom, believing the day would never come. And now it was here, and so were they, and it didn't even matter. "You should have told me. What you were planning. I just...I don't understand. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Kallen." His voice was hushed, exhausted. She looked up and saw him watching her, seemingly with remorse. Probably her imagination. Since when did Lelouch experience remorse? "I was on the road to hell. There was no longer a reason to save me. The only ones who should kill—"

"Are those prepared to be killed. Yes, I know," she mumbled. "I don't care about that, Lelouch. What about the people close to you? Suzaku? Nunnally?"

He hung his head. "I'm sorry." She could hardly see him in the dark. When he spoke again, his voice was a whisper. "Out of everyone, you were the hardest."

"What do you mean, the hardest?"

"...No. Never mind." He shook his head. "It's nothing."

"Lelouch—"

"Kallen, listen. The path I walked was damned since my birth. I had no other fate, no other choice. But you. Your loyalty was too respectable to be aligned with sin. You deserved to live."

_Kallen. You have to live. _It was coming back. Zero, without his mask on. The rifles, ready to fire. Her body the last line of defense against their bullets. How she had walked away, only to hear him whisper what she thought would've been his final words to her.

Something snapped. "For Christ's sakes, will you _stop that!" _she exclaimed. The tears were definitely there now—she could hardly see. "I'm sick of seeing you like this!"

He drew back. "Kallen, that's not—"

"That's not _what, _Lelouch?" she demanded. "You and Suzaku, you both keep saying how you can't change things. How you're broken beyond repair. Don't give me that crap!" Her voice rose, almost at a scream. Maybe the other two could hear her from outside. To hell with them. "You're not cursed, or damned, or whatever other excuse you've made for yourself. So stop pretending like you're beyond saving!"

Lelouch recoiled. "I appreciate the sentiment, but you don't have to pretend I'm worth more than—"

"No. Stop it, Lelouch. You are _not _damaged goods." She clenched her jaw. "You're _Zero_. How many times do I have to remind you of that?!"

Out of the blurriness, she could see his shoulders slumping. "Kallen..."

"No more, Lelouch." Whatever had overcome her was already bleeding out, like a Knightmare deprived of fuel. She collapsed into the chair opposite of him. "You have a responsibility again. To save your sister, to stop whatever Britannia is planning. No more excuses."

She was met with no response. Minutes trickled by. The sounds of the night were a cacophony to their silence. Growing heavier, almost suffocating her whole. She wished to break it and move on, but what more could she say?

"I tried, Kallen." Desperation had leaked into his voice. "I tried saving all of you."

"I know," she said, with difficulty. "But along the way, you gave up on yourself. Didn't you?" She could no longer hold them back; the tears were falling. "You're not. You're...you're Lelouch. The world is yours to change if you wanted to."

More silence. Then: "You truly believe that," he said incredulously. "After everything I did."

"I followed you for a reason. Maybe they were right. That you're a demon. But I believed in the world you wanted. Then you chose a suicide plan instead...I don't—"

"Kallen." The way he muttered her name. Like it was something he held close to his heart. He sank to one knee. "The Requiem was for the world _we _wanted."

"You think I don't know?" she said. "I saw how it turned out. And it worked. And I'm grateful for that. But," she continued, her voice hushed, "you left us with no answer. I never thought I'd hear from you again. Telling me why."

She felt something warm slip into her hand. His fingers had wrapped around hers. "I won't leave you," he said softly. "Not this time."

With her free hand, she wiped at her cheek. Lelouch was kneeling before her, his eyes gleaming in the dark, luring her in as she spiraled. She thought she could hear something from afar; perhaps it was the sound of her heartbeat, overtaking her. Her lips curled up at the corners. "You say that now. Watch you go and get yourself killed. Unintentionally this time."

"I promise to you." And to think he'd lost his determination. Then again, Lelouch had a habit of proving her wrong. "You bought me a second chance. I will not put it to waste."

He pushed himself up slightly. She could see every part of him clearly now. The delicate lining of his jaw, the slight curl to his lashes. What was it about Lelouch that made him so persuasive? Was he that good with his choice of words? Or was it the way he spoke with conviction, how he brought his dream close enough for her to reach?

Either way, he was pulling her in. He gently squeezed her fingers, as if trying to prove his promise. She didn't need anymore convincing. "Lelouch—"

"This world," he began, moving closer, "remains a shadow of what it should be. You were right—I cannot sit and wait longer."

"You would try and change it?"

"If that is what it takes." His smile was crooked, but genuine. "For what I believed in."

"You mean," Kallen said, "for what _we _believed in."

That sound. It was all she could hear. Something tugged at her. Like that final moment on the staircase, when the goodbye had been solemnly hovering over her heart. She leaned forward—

The door burst open. "Kallen, Lelouch. We have to go."

"Huh? What?" Kallen immediately jerked back. "Suzaku? Why? What's going on?"

"There's no time." Under the light of the moon, she could see countless wounds over him. Blood dripped down the corner of his mouth. "They've found us."

* * *

"Are you jealous?" C.C. had asked him. They had moved some distance away from the barn—_they deserve their space,_ according to her—and were treading further into the grove. She was observing the night sky, though he hadn't the slightest idea why. What could she possibly be seeing now that she had not already a million times over?

"No," Suzaku answered. "He and Kallen haven't talked since...well, since everything happened. She needs this as much as I did. Besides, it's not like he belongs to me."

"Do you wish that he did?"

"You keep bringing them up." He glared at her. "Why? Is this fun for you?"

"Wow. Someone is sensitive." She looked to the side, somewhere above him. "There it is. Can you see it?"

"See what?"

"The lion." She pointed upwards. "See? There's the tip of its mane."

He looked. And saw a muddled cluster of stars. "Uh...no, not really. Do you normally look for constellations?"

"Sometimes," she said. "When they're bright enough to see. Spring and summer are usually the easiest. Less clouds."

"Hm. I never thought you'd be interested in something so…"

"Human?" she finished. "How original. What else am I supposed to do?"

There was nothing Suzaku could say to that. Instead, he held back a shiver. Goosebumps were rising under the fabric of his shirt. The air was cold, colder than expected given the earlier temperature, but at least there was no breeze. For a night in spring, the farm was awfully quiet. No animals could be heard among the oranges. The scurrying of insects had disappeared.

He tensed up. So that's what felt off. Why was it so quiet?

"Suzaku." He turned. Anya was approaching them, dressed in her nightgown. "Were you expecting guests?"

"No, we aren't," he said warily. "Why? Why are you asking this now?"

She came to a stop. "Oh. That's not good."

"What is it?"

"There are soldiers here. From Britannia. Asking for you."

"What?" he exclaimed. "Already? What did you tell them?!"

"I told them you weren't here. I don't think they listened." She glanced behind her, down the path from whence she came. "They're coming to investigate. You should get out of here while you can."

"Get Kallen." The tone in C.C.'s voice brooked no argument. "She has the Guren. You three can escape."

"Us three? What about you?"

"I'll buy you time." She looked up. Her eyes grew to double their usual size. "We're too late. They're already here."

"_There you are." _Suzaku felt his heart drop. The Frame had materialized out of thin air, its build silver and familiar as it floated above them, a spear in its hands. How had he not seen it earlier? It was as if it had teleported to their location, drawn to their blood.

A voice came out of the Frame, distorted. The leaves seemed to shiver under the din. "_It seems I've found the rats in hiding."_

So it wasn't just any soldier hunting them, but Guilford. Suzaku whirled around. "Anya—"

But he was speaking to thin air. Anya had disappeared. He swore loudly. He thought that there would have been more time. That Britannia wouldn't have pressed their advantage so quickly after two weeks of radio silence. He should've known they'd act after the Commencement; how stupid of him to have believed their bubble of peace and oranges would last. Their location was the one advantage they had going for them, and now they've lost even that.

_Do something._

Fear tore at his insides. They had nothing here. No defenses, no escape route. They couldn't go back to the barn; it would be a dead giveaway. But surrendering was out of the question. Unless it spared Lelouch's life, perhaps. But then, with just Kallen—

"You've got us, alright," C.C. called out. "What are you going to do? Kill us?"

"_Tempting, but I cannot," _Guilford said. _"My order was to take you in as prisoners. Though what happens after is anyone's guess." _He sounded like he was smiling. "_I, for one, look forward to the interrogation process."_

"How terrifying." How was she so _calm _at a time like this? "Very well. We'll surrender."

"What?! C.C.—"

_“Hm. How wise of you." _The Frame began descending, a blocky shadow against the full moon. "_Hands up. No sudden movements. Or it will be very painful for you."_

Suzaku whirled to C.C.. She looked beautiful, a figure of flowing green and white, and he hated everything about her. "C.C., what are you doing?!"

"Relax," she muttered out the corner of her mouth. "When it happens, take Lelouch and run."

That caught his attention. A plan? With no weapons? No Geass? "When _what _happens?" he stressed. "You have nothing on you!"

"Do as I say. You want to save him, don't you_?"_

Before he could ask, the Frame had crashed to Earth. Clouds of dust flew up, the branches drooping out of fear. Nearby oranges tumbled to the ground.

"_T__he soldiers are coming," _Guilford declared, surprisingly softly. "_Hold still. Nothing suspicious, or both of you die."_

"I thought you were to take us prisoner?"

"_By __force, if need be. However, things could change. Suppose you put up a fight and refused to be taken." _Christ, was he playing with them? As if their lives were marbles in his hand? "_A __sad turn of events, were it to come true."_

Suzaku saw the Frame's hands tighten around the spear. His heart stopped. "You would kill us?" he said. "Isn't that going against your queen's orders?"

"_Not at all. _She _was the one who wished for your heads. Zero, however, insisted otherwise." _His voice dripped with contempt. "_But__ perhaps...her Highness was correct. You're better off dead. Fewer worries for her. I could kill two birds with one spear."_

Suzaku gritted his teeth. "You disloyal—"

C.C. took a step forward, her hand raised. "Suzaku, go. _Now."_

_"You would dare to—"_

Her fingertips grazed the foot of the Frame. The ensuing shock wave nearly threw Suzaku off his feet, an incredible force of indescribable intensity, a massive whirlwind ripping through paper. Radiating energy wormed its way into his ears, making his head throb. He could see her hair flying up, an aurora of green, the sigil on her forehead glowing red.

_I remember this. _During the battle at Narita, when C.C. had done the same to him. "Are you paralyzing him?"

"Temporarily." She spoke of it as if it were nothing, but the trembling in her voice told him otherwise. "A shock image to buy you time. Go, while you have the chance."

_"What? What is this?!" _he heard Guilford scream. "_I can't_—"

But Suzaku stood staunch in place. "I'm not leaving you behind. Not again."

"Don't waste your breath. Go save Lelouch." Something sounded different: a breach of emotion, like an animal desperately trying to break through its cage. "You and Kallen are his last chance at staying safe."

"So are you! I said—"

"Leave me!" She looked back. Sweat glistened along her brow, the exertion clear as daylight. But it was her glare that made him flinch; filled with rage, the most furious he had ever seen her. "Hurry and _go!"_

He hesitated for another second. Then, with a nod, began heading back, as fast as his injured leg would allow. Trying to push the sight of C.C. out of his mind. Her form, small and defenseless, against the towering war machine. There was no telling how long she would last, though it couldn’t be for long. Then Guilford would be able to do with her as he pleased.

_I have to save her too, _he thought as he stumbled towards the barn, crouched within the trees. _There has to be enough time. Hold on, C.C.. Hold out for just a little longer._

The door was within sight. Still shut, too. He breathed a sigh of relief—the soldiers had yet to break through. If he could just get there in time, they could—

"Hold!” Three soldiers burst from behind the cherry blossom trees, their lances drawn. "You are under arrest, Suzaku Kururugi! Surrender immediately, or we'll use force!"

Suzaku stumbled back. Already here, this far out? But how? "What? But—"

"Quiet! You have until the count of three to surrender yourself. I suggest you follow orders, if you want to live." The captain was pointing straight for his head. "I'm counting. One…"

_Crap._ He was still too far away for them to hear. Unless he screamed at the top of his lungs. But that would reveal Lelouch and Kallen's position. Given that they had attacked him first, they must not know still. It was their last bit of protection; he couldn't risk it.

He squeezed his eyes shut. A panicked frenzy was taking over. There had to be something more he could do, anything. Surrendering would lead to his death. They would kill him anyway, he knew, and then Lelouch and Kallen would be next. He had to protect them somehow. Even if he had nothing to defend himself with, or he gave up his life in the process.

_"_Two…"

_Wait a minute. _That feeling of adrenaline rushing through him. He should have known. _Give up my life. That's it._

His eyes flew open. As if they were under a magnifying glass, he could see the soldiers clearly in the dark, their movements wading through water. Then felt his injury throbbing, the pain flaring up, causing his leg to tremble. His Geass was one thing, but what if he was too weak to fend them off?

_No. _There was a promise he intended to keep. Lelouch was going to live, no matter how many bodies it took.

"_Three!"_

The soldier lunged. Suzaku nimbly dodged to the side, then down, the blade stabbing where his head had been a split second ago. Instinctively, he shot his hand up—and felt his fingers clench around the pole. He swept his foot in a circle, hearing the soldier shout in alarm as his legs gave way. Then pulled the lance out of his hands as he danced back.

"W-What the—"

He jumped forward. The lance felt like an extension of his arm, almost second nature. A scream pierced the air as the blade tore into flesh, pinning the soldier to the dirt.

Satisfied, Suzaku released and slid back, panting. "Stop this. Both of you. While you still can," he snarled, as the other two soldiers stumbled back. The Geass had taken control over his limbs. Slowed down the passing of time. The darkness was but a whisper of a haze. If this was what Britannia had to offer, then they might survive after all. "Stop, and you'll live."

His words only motivated them. They charged, their blades desperate to find their mark. He dodged again, twisting to the side, feeling one lance swing past his shoulder. Then dropped and pushed himself back, sliding on the dirt, out of range, as the second blade stabbed into thin air. With a grunt, he pushed off his hands and kicked up, spinning outwards, his foot colliding with something metallic.

The lance toppled to the ground with a clatter, followed by the other. "How did..." the soldier stammered, backing away. "Who the hell _is _this guy?"

"Doesn't matter. There's only one of him," his partner said. "He can't take all of us!"

_All of us? _Suzaku turned. Half a dozen of them, at the very least, approaching from afar, some holding swords, others spears. No guns in sight. Slashing silently at the trees as they marched, destroying whatever was in their path. _They must be trying to keep quiet,_ he realized with a start. _This isn't just an ambush. It's an assassination attempt._

"Had you come quietly, we might have spared your life," the soldier called out gleefully. "Now you're a dead man."

Despite the situation, Suzaku held back the urge to smile. _A dead man. _It was strange. At one point, he might have been grateful to hear those words come true.

"Then prove it." He lowered himself, poised to strike. The Geass was taking over again—he let it do so with obedience. If he were to die, then he would drag them along with him to Hell. "Show me what you can do."

They released a battle cry as they charged.

* * *

"Who's here?" Kallen said, her heart in her throat. "Britannia?"

"Yes," Suzaku said. He leaned against the doorway, unable to stand on his own. "They ambushed us. C.C. is buying us time, and—"

A cough racked through him. Specks of blood marked down his shirt. He weakly waved her down as she shot to her feet. "Don't worry about me. We have to go, quickly. Take Lelouch with you."

"But what about you?"

"I'll follow after. I'll cover you in case of reinforcements."

Behind her, Lelouch rose to his feet. "How? Aren't you badly injured?"

"I'm fine." Obviously a lie, but Kallen said nothing. She would have said the same thing. "Hurry. Before they arrive. Kallen, get to the Guren."

"Not without you. Or C.C.." Lelouch moved past her. "You two can't forfeit yourselves. I won't allow it."

"_Lelouch," _Suzaku stressed. "This isn't the time."

"I'm not leaving you behind!" The command was clear, and delivered with more force than Kallen knew he could muster. "I will not let you risk your life for me again!"

"Kallen." She straightened up. She could see Suzaku gazing past Lelouch, over the top of his head, right at her. The message, written in plain sight. _Save him. Go on without me. _"You know what needs to be done."

"Idiot!" Lelouch scowled. "I said—"

His voice was cut off by Suzaku's foot, spinning into his temple. Lelouch teetered back. Right as Kallen rushed forward and caught him, not a moment too soon.

"_Suzaku!" _Lelouch's eyes were closed; they probably would be for a while. The side of his head was already starting to swell up. "Was that really necessary?"

"Now you can take him," Suzaku said, without missing a beat. "It was the only way."

Kallen's expression scrunched up. "Yeah, but...he was just starting to get better."

"Whatever it takes." One arm was wrapped around his waist, trying to hold himself together. He could barely stand straight. But the determination. It was undeniable. "We're going to save him. Right?"

She bit her lip. _Whatever it takes. _"You're right. I'll bring him to the Guren. It's in the forest by the farm's edge."

"Good." Suzaku glanced back, out at the grove. Kallen tried staring past him. For a supposed battleground, the field had gone awfully quiet. "I'll try to find C.C.. You can handle Lelouch, right?"

"Yeah." She pulled him up, her hands under his shoulders. His feet dragged lifelessly over the wooden boards. "C'mon. Before they find us again."

He nodded, holding the door open. Slowly, they maneuvered their way outside. Kallen immediately shivered, the chill wrapping her in its hold. She quickly observed their surroundings. Stars chased each other through the sky. The moon was at full strength, the white circle gleaming. Fallen flowers, crushed oranges, and dead leaves littered over the farm grounds, cluttering up the once clean pathways. A majority of the trees were wilting or dead. She could see a circle of fallen soldiers on the ground, only a couple of yards away.

"Holy _shit," _she said. "Suzaku...did you take out all those knights?"

He nodded, wiping the blood off his mouth. "Barely."

"How?" She looked at him, astounded. And, for the first time, noticed something glowing in his eyes. Atrocious and familiar. "And why are your eyes red?"

He froze. "Don't worry about it."

"Is that what I think it is?_"_

"No. Never mind. It's nothing." He made to move in the opposite direction, stumbling as he walked. "I'll go find C.C.. You get the Guren ready."

"Is she okay?" Kallen called after him. Her arms were already getting tired. How was Lelouch so _heavy? _He was as skinny as a pole. "What happened?"

"I don't know. Last I saw, she was distracting Guilford." He moved a few more steps, then came to a stop. His head turned up to the sky.

"_Damn it."_

"What?" Kallen called out to him. "What is it?"

"Look," he said numbly. She squinted. Something stood among the ocean of stars. It was hard to tell, but it looked like...Knightmares? Sinking towards them, though it didn't seem like many. Two or three at most, each of them hoisting a spear. But that was still two or three more than they could handle. "Reinforcements?" Kallen mumbled. "It can't be. Not that quickly."

"No. They were waiting to strike." His words turned her blood into ice. "Kallen, run. Hurry."

"And leave you behind? Are you insane?!"

"If you stay, we'll _both _end up dead," he said. "I can buy you time."

"No way." She shook her head. "If anything, you should escape. I can fight them in the Guren—"

"No!" He glared back at her, the moonlight coating his wounds in white. A gash ran down his shoulder and across his chest, the wound ripped open, his shirt stained with red. "You're the only one they don't know about. If they find out, they'll come after you. You have a family to protect."

Her family. She hadn't considered how they would be at risk, that Britannia might set their sights on her mother. The thought of it made her want to vomit."B-But," she stammered, "I'm not going to _leave you to die!"_

"They won't kill me," he reassured, the determination set in his shoulders. He crouched into a battle stance. "I'll be fine. Go. Take care of Lelouch for me."

Kallen stumbled, almost slipping on the freshly fallen leaves. Lelouch's head lolled back. She could feel his weight in her arms. Feel Suzaku's sacrifice raggedly breathing down her neck. The two Knightmares—common Gloucesters, it seemed, from the war years ago—were close to approaching now, blocking out the light from the sky.

"Suzaku." He looked back. She saw the cut across his face, the fire in his stare. Good Lord, was this another suicide plan? Did the two of them know nothing else? "I'll be waiting for you. Come find me after you escape."

His eyes widened. "Where?"

"Home." She nodded. "You know where."

He stared. Then, with a sudden look of realization, nodded as well. "I see. I will meet you there."

"I'm holding you to that." She began moving back, behind the barn, the dirt sliding under her feet. Cherry blossom buds bounced by her head, bidding her farewell. "You cannot die here. Promise me."

"I promise." He faced back ahead as beams of light shone down, catching him under their spotlight. Did he sound _amused_? "You're not the first to ask me that."

Then he sprung forward—how the _hell _did he have the stamina to move like that?—and dashed to the side, narrowly avoiding the lance that came crashing down moments later. He was sprinting, past the trees and into the grove, leading them further in.

Kallen could only watch from her hiding place as the two Frames wordlessly chased in pursuit, the trees wavering under their presence. Soon they had become mere shadows in the distance. The sound of flying machines gave way to the wind.

She let out a ragged sigh before continuing to drag Lelouch, letting the stars guide her way. Not the first, huh? _You better keep your promise to all of us then, Suzaku._

* * *

_He was standing in a sea of white, though he couldn't tell what it was that covered his feet. But it seemed soft, and cushiony, like a cloud of sorts. Gently, he kicked at the floor. And watched in awe as feathers scattered up and into the air, vanishing into the light._

_"Lelouch!" He turned. She was running towards him, raising more feathers, her pink hair kept in tight curls. Her hands were holding up her dress, a long silken gown of white. That look of innocence on her face. The twinkle in her eye. Even now, standing at the gates of Heaven, they seemed so familiar together; had he ever seen her without them?_

"_Euphie?" he muttered, stumbling towards her. "You're...you're here?"_

_"Of course I am." She closed the distance and jumped into his arms. "Why wouldn't I be? _You're _here, aren't you?"_

_Already, he could smell cherry blossoms. She felt warm in his arms, like she was actually _alive, _like the Geass had never swept her soul away. _"_Euphie," he mumbled, burying his face in her hair, "I'm sorry."_

_"Hm?" she said, not pulling away. "For what?"_

_"For everything." He drew back first, and saw the pale blue of her eyes, reminding him of his mother's. Except hers was far more pure, and beautiful. A reason for the agonizing hole in his heart, as large as the one he had left in hers by gunshot. "If it weren't for me, you would be alive. History wouldn't have blemished your name. It was all my fault."_

_She blinked. "Lelouch...what are you talking about?"_

_"What do you mean?" he said, bewildered. "I _killed _you. I was too weak to live out our promise. You wished to keep the world safe, and I threw it into war." He grimaced. "Not even a thousand apologies would warrant your forgiveness."_

_"Oh, Lelouch." She moved closer, her smile brighter than the daybreak behind her. "You're so silly."_

_"Hm? Silly?"_

_"You think a thousand apologies might change things," she said. "But the deed has already been done. Holding onto such regrets...what will they do for you?"_

_"I can't help it, Euphie," he said, almost unwillingly. "How can I just move on? You were caught in the crossfire of my negligence. If...if there was some way I could have changed it. Somehow. Anything. You must know I would have done it to save you."_

_"I know, Lelouch," she said softly. There was no accusation in her voice, no sense of blame. "I believe you."_

_"You...you do?" he said._

_"Yes. But there's no point in hanging on. Your strength lies not in what you want, but in what you act upon. Holding on to me won't make you stronger. You know that, don't you?"_

_He exhaled. "Yes. I do."_

_"Oh, Lelouch," she said again. She tenderly raised a hand to his cheek. "You're stronger than you realize. Have faith, for it will carry you far. Farther than you can imagine."_

_At that, he smiled. Hope stirred within his chest, an intimate warmth, as gentle as the feathers embracing them in their light. "You believe so, Euphie?"_

_"Of course." Suddenly, her expression changed. Her smile stretched up, tearing through the flesh in her cheeks, both bloody and wide. Her pupils melted into a bottomless void. The color of her skin, her hair, had faded to a dull gray. When she spoke, her voice was but a raspy whisper, like dust exhumed from a corpse. "_You have nothing else left."

Lelouch's eyes snapped open. The first thing he saw was a white ceiling, along with light fixtures, hanging from above. He was lying in bed, still wearing his old clothes, under a blanket covered with pictures of cats. Sunshine poured through the blinds and onto the floor. Off in the corner was a table and chair, next to the wooden nightstand by his bed, complete with an aged photograph of a child with red hair. Kallen, perhaps?

"Hm?" he muttered, trying to sit up. A throbbing pain rushed to the side of his skull, making him grit his teeth. _I remember,_ he thought, his fingers gingerly poking at the bruise. _That idiot. I should have seen it coming._

Slowly, his body aching, he made to move out of bed. And stopped, for someone was just knocking at the door. "Hello?" he heard Kallen call out. "Are you awake?"

"Kallen?" he said. "Where are we? What's going on?"

The door opened. She stepped in, no longer wearing her pilot's suit, but a sleeveless yellow shirt and a pair of white shorts. Her dark circles had gotten worse. She seemed exhausted, if not ready to collapse.

"You're awake," she said. She sighed in relief. "That's good. I was starting to worry."

Lelouch sat up. "Worry about what?"

"That you'd be knocked out for another week, if not more. Thankfully, it was just overnight." Her slippers made a squeaking noise as she moved towards the bed. "How do you feel?"

He shook his head. "I'll be fine," he insisted, trying to ignore the continuous throbbing. "Again, where are we? Are we safe?"

Kallen gave him a warm smile. "Sure am. Welcome to my home, Lelouch."

"Your _what?" _Lelouch said, his mouth dropping open. "This is where you live?”

"Yup." She sat herself down on the bed, narrowly avoiding crushing his legs. She gazed over the room. "We found an apartment after everything had settled down. This is the guest room, but it's dedicated to my brother. Mom likes to think he would be living in here. If he was still with us."

"Dedicated to your brother," Lelouch reiterated. _So that was who was in the photograph. _"But why here? What about your mother?"

She looked to him. "What about her?"

"Isn't she concerned? That I, Lelouch, the one they called the Demon Emperor, has returned? That I'm sleeping in her house like some guest?"

"Don't worry, she doesn't know who you are," Kallen said, her smile vanishing. "Remember? She wasn't even sober enough to recognize _me _back then."

Lelouch fell silent. He remembered it too well. Their assault on the drug den. Her mother, crawling on her knees, talking to ghosts and thin air. "I see," was all he said.

"I told her you were a friend." She looked out the window, ignoring the blinding sun. "She didn't ask questions."

"And my name?" he said. "You didn't tell her that, did you?"

"Of course not. She never asked," Kallen said. "Even if she did, she wouldn't know. You're lucky she ignores the news. We don't even have a TV."

"Really?" Lelouch said, taken aback. "No outside communication? Nothing at all?"

"Well, there's a radio. But it's only for listening to opera while she folds the laundry." Kallen let out a small laugh. "She never cared for politics and that sort of stuff, ever since I was a kid. Old habits die hard, I guess."

Before she could continue, there was another knock at the door. Much lighter, and less impatient. "Kallen, dear?" said a woman's voice. "Are you in there? There's someone at the door for you. He says he's a friend."

"What?" Lelouch hissed. He whipped his head towards her. "You have someone else coming to visit?"

"No, I don't," Kallen mumbled, perplexed. "Rarely do students come to this area; it's too far from Ashford. Visitors aren't really a thing."

"Then, what?" began Lelouch. "Britannia's found us? Should we—"

"Hold on. Let me go check it out first." She pushed herself off the bed, and swept out of the room. Leaving him to brood in silence, wondering what could be waiting. If it were Britannia, perhaps he could give himself up in their place. _He _was the one they wanted. Kallen was innocent, and so was her mother.

He scowled. Sacrificing themselves...was that their only course of action now? More than ever, he missed when he had some semblance of power. Influence. _Something _that gave him an edge to change the tides of this world. Britannia or not, he would need to come up with a plan, and soon_. _Constantly running away, like dogs with tails between their legs, wouldn't get them far. And he was _Lelouch_, for God's sake. The man who once built the world anew. Not some useless burden for others to take care of.

He heard a surprised noise—that was Kallen, for sure—along with mumbled words, and footsteps shuffling. They were getting louder, moving towards his room. His fingers dug into the blankets, the anticipation making him tremble. If Kallen had let them in, it had to be someone they knew. Or maybe it was the government, and they had forced her aside. He certainly hoped it wasn't the latter.

The door swung in. Kallen slowly entered, and attached to her was someone covered in tattered rags. He wore a rice hat with a mask underneath, hiding his features. Scratches and dirt marked over his entire body. His head was bowed, and his arm was slung around her, as he hobbled on one foot.

"Kallen." Lelouch's voice was strained. "Who is this?"

"You don't recognize me, Lelouch?" The man looked up. Lelouch could make out a lock of brown hair, and a small, familiar smile as the mask fell. "I came back. For you. The least you could do is...is…"

He wavered, like a mirage in heat. Then, without warning, Suzaku slipped out of Kallen's grasp and collapsed to the floor, entirely still.


	12. A Most Excellent Stage

_"The trick of real combat is that everyone is human." - Lelouch vi Britannia_

* * *

Kallen propped the door open before walking in, a tray in her arms. "Here you go, Suzaku," she said, approaching his bed. She laid it by his feet. "Warm lemon tea and a slice of toast."

"Thanks, Kallen," Suzaku said gratefully. "You didn't have to do this."

"Nonsense. After what you went through, you could use something in your system."

He took a sip from the steaming mug. His eyes widened. "Oh, wow," he said. "That's...really good. What else is in here besides lemon?"

"Dried chrysanthemums, honey, and a little mint. Should help to calm you down." She sat herself down on the floor. "Is it working?"

"Very much so." He continued drinking eagerly as it warmed his throat, the ache in his muscles ebbing away. He let out a noise of satisfaction. "Thank you. I appreciate it."

"No problem." She wrapped her arms around her knees. "Now that you're awake and feeling better, Lelouch will be relieved too."

"Lelouch, huh?" Suzaku began nibbling on his toast, the crumbs falling into his lap. Wheat bread, too—just the kind he liked. "Is he doing alright? I basically took over his room."

"Oh, he's fine," Kallen reassured. "It's a good thing you arrived right as he woke up, even though you scared the hell out of him. He's been worried sick ever since."

"Really? It's only been a couple of days."

"It's Lelouch. He gets hung up on _everything."_

"I suppose that's true," Suzaku said, smiling to himself. "I should feel bad about stressing him out, shouldn't I?"

"Do you?"

"Kind of. But it's not my first time doing so. I guess I never learn my lesson."

Kallen looked to him, a smile in her eyes. "It's crazy, isn't it? At one point we thought he was completely heartless. But he actually cared enough to push us away."

"I suppose. Even if it hurt us, or him, he did it anyway. So long as it was for the greater good." Suzaku stared at his reflection in the silver tray, lost among the cuts and bandages on his skin. "But sometimes the consequences outweigh the result. Sometimes it isn't worth it."

"But what if there's no other choice?" Kallen said. "He isn't the most _moral _person, sure, but he did what he had to at the time."

"I...can't believe that." His expression became bitter. "He hurt so many people. Caused so many casualties. His ambition overshadowed his virtue."

"Don't tell me you can't see why. Didn't you do the same thing?"

"Yes. To reform the world. But I never hated myself more. I wished I could have stopped him before it got that far. Before it was too late."

"Wasn't the Requiem his plan?"

"It was a last resort. But I cared enough for him that—"

"'Cared for him'?"

Suzaku froze, the remnants of his toast turning to ashes in his mouth. "Well...yes. He was my friend. I didn't want to see him go down the same path I did."

"I see." She glanced at the photograph on the table. Contemplating something, it seemed like, though hopefully not what Suzaku was expecting—things were complicated enough without Kallen getting involved. "Hey, can I ask you something, Suzaku?"

"Uh, sure." Tension shot up his shoulders. Nothing good ever came from someone _asking _to propose a question. "What is it?"

"I hope this isn't too personal," Kallen began, "but what is Lelouch to you?"

_Damn it_. He wished he could disappear into the blankets. "I thought we talked about this when we flew to Kamine Island."

"We did," Kallen said. "But a lot's changed since then. I haven't forgotten what you said on the farm."

"What I said?"

"'Take care of Lelouch for me'," she recited. "I've never heard you sound so passionate. Over anyone."

Suzaku blinked. "It wasn't anything special," he said. "It was in the moment and I was scared. That's all."

"I know, but 'take care of him'? 'For me'? Not 'keep him safe', or 'make sure he escapes'?" She gave him a strange look. "Sounds more, I dunno, like he's _really_ important to you."

"I think you may be overthinking it."

Kallen said nothing. He fought the urge to look away. He should have known this was coming; Kallen had always been quick to catch details, and it was a matter of time before she found out anyway. But even so, why _now_? He still wasn't ready for what hid behind the mask, and he doubted she would be either. Like him, her feelings for Lelouch were far from subtle.

Finally, she exhaled. "Yeah, you're right," she said, leaning back against the nightstand. A strip of sunlight had slipped through the blinds, falling across her face. "Sorry for jumping to conclusions."

"It's okay." He almost sagged out of relief. "He _does _mean a lot to me, remember? It's why I tried so hard to keep him safe."

"I do. And I get it," Kallen said. Her eyes closed slightly, lost in a memory. "I gave up so much for him. Not just recently, but back when he was Zero."

"What's he doing now?" Suzaku wondered. He idly traced over the cats on his blanket with his finger.

"Tinkering with the radio outside. He's looking for something from Britannia, hopefully an announcement or something."

"And C.C.? Have you heard anything?"

"Nothing. At first Lelouch wouldn't stop worrying, but he seems to have accepted it for now." She spoke with difficulty, as if afraid of the truth. "I'm sure she's fine. She can't die, after all."

"That's true," Suzaku agreed in an effort to convince himself. "Well, did he get anything from the radio?"

"Dunno. I came to check on you before he started." She stretched out her arms. "Speaking of which, I haven't checked. How are you feeling?"

"Fine." His hand unconsciously traveled to his chest. Still burning. The gash had torn in deep, stopping just short of his vital tissues. "The salve you gave me worked wonders."

"Does it hurt? I can grab more stuff if you need it."

"I'll be alright, Kallen. Really." He gave her his most reassuring smile. "I just need more time to heal."

It did not work; she did not seem convinced. "Uh huh," she said. "Big words from someone who almost bled out on arrival. You know, you don't always have to act like a big, strong man."

"I'm not. I've gone through worse. Did you know I once got shot in the back?"

"Eh, that's not—wait, you _what_?" She uncrossed her arms. "When? How did you survive?"

"A long time ago. Before I was the Lancelot's pilot, when I was an Eleven soldier. I was with a squad at the Shinjuku ghetto—"

"_Shinjuku? _What were you doing there?"

"We were searching for something. Apparently some Japanese terrorists had stolen something important. A dangerous weapon, I think. I can't remember the details." He paused. "Uh, why are you staring at me like that?"

"_Suzaku." _She leaned forward, one hand above his leg. "I was _there_."

"Huh? You...you were?" he stammered. "But why? What were you doing? Don't tell me you were—"

"Wow. I know we've mentioned it before, but I never would've expected…"

She shook her head. "Never mind. It's a long story."

"We have time, don't we?" he said, his curiosity peaking. Now that he thought about it, he knew so little of Kallen's past. And with the day still early and Lelouch in safe hands, he could finally afford to hear her side. The Black Knights. The rise of Zero. Lelouch. "Tell me what happened. Starting from back then."

Kallen briefly thought it over. "All right," she agreed. "Only if you tell me your side too. Especially how you tried 'changing the system within'."

He raised his eyebrows. "For Britannia? Which part?"

"Whatever you want to share." She glanced back at the window, the sunlight fighting its way in. "I've got a feeling there's a lot for both of us."

He gazed down at the cats. A half-smile sprung to his lips. "I think so, too."

* * *

It must have been around noon when Suzaku had decided that enough was enough and had committed himself into leaving his bed, though Kallen's nagging for him to console Lelouch may have played its part. But even with her support the pain had torn through his body, spinning his head in circles, making it that much harder for him to put on Naoto's old clothes and inch his way out. "I thought it would have healed by now," he had muttered while trying to pull up his jeans.

"Your injuries were pretty severe," Kallen had said as she buttoned up his shirt; maroon must have been Naoto's favorite color. "It's going to hurt for a while. I'm sure running from those Knightmares didn't help."

"Suzaku." They had made it to the room right outside of his. Before them was Lelouch, already settled at the dining table. No longer wearing his farm clothes but a pale blue button-down, the collar popped open, and a pair of trousers slightly too big for his waist. The radio device fell out of his fingers as he rushed to his feet. "Are you okay? Does anything hurt? Perhaps you shouldn't—"

"I'm fine, Lelouch," Suzaku reassured. "Are _you _okay? You're not injured, are you?"

"No. I'm not the one who passed out from blood loss. Or had to elude a pursuing Knightmare." Lelouch scowled as he got closer. "You could've gotten yourself killed. Promise me you won't do something that stupid again."

Suzaku's expression, too, twisted. "It was either that or get captured," he opposed. "There was no other way." His eyes roamed past Lelouch's glare, hoping to land on anything else. The dining area they stood in was small, mostly empty, and reminiscent of the kitchen from his childhood home. Next to them were the cabinets, the beige doors popped open. A pile of dishes sat on a shelf by the fridge. Right by the dining table where Lelouch had sat was a shelving unit, covered in appliances and sliced wheat bread.

"It doesn't matter." Lelouch pressed his palm to Suzaku’s cheek. His eyes pierced through his. "I'm not losing you. Do you hear me? Not like that."

For a moment, Suzaku forgot how to breathe. "Lelouch…"

"Alright, you two," Kallen interrupted. "I'll get lunch ready. Lelouch, help me carry him into that chair."

"Is your mom joining us, Kallen?" Suzaku asked as Lelouch took on his weight. The realization that they had switched places—since when was Lelouch the one taking care of _him?—_crossed his mind.

"Nope. She's taking a nap," Kallen said. "But she did help prepare us lunch. Give me a minute to heat it up."

She left for the fridge, leaving Lelouch to guide him to the dining chair. Suzaku winced as he sat. It would be some time again before he could move his limbs without them screaming out in pain. How unfortunate, considering he had just been nursed back to health. He couldn't afford to falter now, not during such a critical time.

"You're in pain." Lelouch's voice cut through his train of thought. "I can see it."

"Lelouch, I'm _fine,"_ Suzaku stressed. "It's nothing I can't handle."

But like Kallen, Lelouch did not seem to take his word. He sat down before him. "Suzaku," he said. He placed his hands in Suzaku's lap. "You said you hated me. When we were on the farm. So why did you go this far to protect me? Allowing yourself to get hurt?" He searched over Suzaku's expression, imploring. "I've already died once, and you never have. I know you wish for death, but this won't—"

"I don't, Lelouch." Suzaku said it before he could stop himself. "Not anymore."

"Then why are you behaving so recklessly?" Lelouch inquired. "Why even take the journey to Kamine? Why do you keep throwing yourself into danger?"

Suzaku remained quiet. The sound of a microwave nearby, humming softly, cut through the silence. It was a while before he answered with, "What do you mean, Lelouch? I did it to protect you."

"But I thought—"

"You're right in that I haven't forgiven you. Not yet." He clasped Lelouch's hands in his, his grip caught around slim fingers. "But I didn't go through all this to confront you. Or to tell you that I hated you."

"Huh?" Lelouch faltered. "You didn't?"

"No," Suzaku said. "I did it because you're my friend."

Lelouch's grip tightened. "I don't understand."

His expression crumpled. "I missed you," Suzaku mumbled, his voice thick. "Lelouch, you were the only one who understood me. We had both lost everything. And then to lose you too after the Requiem...I didn't know what to do. I was more lost than ever before."

"You mean," Lelouch said, the corners of his lips turning up, "it was strange to no longer have someone to focus your hatred around. Is that correct?"

"I guess that was part of it." He turned back up. Lelouch's hair was hanging low, slightly wet, the strands clinging over his eyes. He could still see the purple behind them. "But not all of it."

"So you actually missed me? Truly?"

Suzaku's grin was weak. "Is that so hard to believe?"

"Well, yes," Lelouch uttered. "You tried to kill me. You brought me before the Emperor so he could erase my memory. Should I keep going?"

"Hey. You tried to kill me too_. _Multiple times. Can't say the same about my memories, though." Suzaku lifted their conjoined hands. His smile disappeared. "I'm sorry for punching you back on the farm. And for knocking you out after they invaded."

"Yeah, you gave me a bruise," Lelouch said lightly. "It still hurts, by the way."

Suzaku bit his lip. "I didn't want to hurt you, Lelouch. It's just—I didn't know what else—"

"Suzaku, relax," Lelouch murmured. His thumb caressed over bruised knuckles, causing Suzaku's skin to tingle. "It's okay. I don't _approve_, obviously, of you throwing yourself into danger like that. But," he continued, leaning in closer, "I'd be dead by now if not for you. Still dead. Once again, I am in your debt."

"You have yet to repay your first," Suzaku said. A memory came to mind. One that used to make his blood boil, but now left him hollow. "At the Kururugi Shrine."

"Ah. That's right. I...suppose I'm not the best gambler after all."

"No, you aren't." His eyes met Lelouch's. They were split between unwavering compassion and Geass, between Heaven and Hell. "You've gambled with me in more ways than you know."

At that, Lelouch's expression scrunched up. "I'm not sure I follow."

Suzaku wasn't sure what it was that compelled him, but it drove him forward more than any Geass command could. "Lelouch. You don't know how hard it's been."

"How hard what has been?"

"Everything. Without you."

"...So I heard. I truly am sorry. Kallen told me as much."

"It's not only that. There's something I need to tell you. Something you should know."

"Hm? What is it?"

Suzaku froze. He had driven too far, off the edge of a cliff and into the ocean. He squeezed his eyes shut. He could feel Lelouch watching him with concern, on the verge of calling for Kallen. With great effort he caught his voice in the back of his throat, struggling to keep the words from tumbling out. And said, "No. Forget what I said. It's nothing."

"Lunch is ready!" Kallen was suddenly there, approaching from behind. "Sorry that took so long."

Suzaku yanked his hands out from Lelouch's. "N-No worries, Kallen," he stuttered, praying that he did not seem too out of place. Though if he was to take anything away from Lelouch's expression, he probably did. And quite badly, too. "Thanks for getting things ready."

"No problem." She placed the tray down, making quick work of setting up the table. "You okay there, Suzaku? You look like you're going to throw up."

"I'm fine. Just...not that hungry is all."

"What is this, Kallen?" Lelouch said, trying to change the subject. He poked at the wooden box before him, solid and inedible, as if it were Arthur preparing to bite his finger. "How do you eat this? Isn't this made of wood?"

"No, you idiot," she said. "There's a lid right there. _Open _it."

"Ah." He did as he was told. A cloud of steam came rushing out. He glanced down at the box's contents. Then back up at her. "Er, what is this?"

"Lelouch. Really?" she said, blinking in astonishment. "It's a bento box."

"A what?"

"You know, like steamed rice? And meat? Sometimes vegetables? Usually I'll add tofu or…" Her voice trailed off. "Wow. You've never had one before?"

"I can't say that I have." He poked at a lump of brown with his chopsticks. "What's this over here?"

"Braised short ribs." She eagerly opened her own box. "There's a boiled egg and some pickled vegetables in there too. I can't believe you've never had it! It's my favorite meal."

"Well, it certainly seems like a lot." Lelouch tore off a strip of meat, chewing hesitantly. And came to a stop. His eyes immediately lit up. "This is..._amazing!"_

"Isn't it?" Kallen said, tapping her chopsticks together. "Mom makes the best short ribs. Come on, Suzaku, eat up before it gets cold."

"Oh, uh...alright." He reached for the lid, trying to ignore the shaking of his fingers. A blast of steam and the whiff of aromatic sauces made him draw back slightly, his stomach rumbling. "Thanks, Kallen. It smells fantastic."

"Of course. Dig in, everyone!"

* * *

"So you've heard _nothing?"_ Suzaku said, unable to hide his disappointment. He stabbed into the remaining half of his egg. "I thought they would have announced something regarding C.C. at least."

"As did I," Lelouch said. He was the only one not eating after having finished his box in a matter of minutes, leaving Kallen more proud than ever. "But there was nothing. I ran through the channels all morning and not a single word. We'll have to source out other intel if we want to rescue her."

"I mean, I guess that makes sense," Kallen said, wiping at her mouth with her napkin. "They seemed like they were trying to keep quiet back at the farm."

"They didn't have any guns," Suzaku added, pushing his leftover rice into one corner. "Even the Knightmares were acting carefully."

"Likely because it was an assassination attempt," Lelouch pointed out. "Why else would they be keeping a low profile? They must not want the public to know of their dishonorable tactics."

"Right." Like usual, Lelouch seemed to have processed the situation three times over. Everything about him was jarringly familiar, from the way he spoke to how his mind spun like a well-oiled machine. Even if everything else around them had changed. "So what should we do now? We can't attack them head-on, can we?"

Lelouch turned to Kallen. "Kallen, is there anything happening at Ashford in the next couple of days?"

"Hm? Ashford?" she said, frozen in mid-chew. "Er, I don't think so. Why?"

"I heard about a festival. Something involving lights, I believe."

"A light festival?" She nearly dropped her chopsticks. "Oh, right! The mid-spring Lantern Festival! Rivalz was stressing out about it last week. With everything else going on, I completely forgot." Her nose wrinkled. "Isn't that coming up soon? It should be in—"

"Two days," Lelouch finished. "It's supposedly one of the largest events in the city. All students and faculty are encouraged to join. Though, if Milly has any say, they'll probably be _forced _to."

"But I don't see how that involves us," Suzaku said, perplexed. "We can't go back to Ashford. Not after what happened."

Lelouch leaned back in his seat, his eyes glittering. "Why ever not?"

"What?" Suzaku stiffened. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Kallen do the same. "Lelouch. You can't mean that. They saw what we became. They thought we were _dead."_

"And what of it?" Lelouch asked innocently. "It's too late for pretense now. We've already been exposed. And with all of its resources, Ashford would be the perfect place for us to make our next move. Besides," he added smugly, "I _do _miss being home."

"You won't if you end up getting exiled. Or killed." Suzaku's voice had gone cold. "Did you even think this plan through?"

"Of course," he said. "With enough luck, we'll end up right in center stage. Exactly where we need to be to press our advantage."

"What advantage?"

"You'll see. I can't show my hand just yet."

"I'm not accepting that," Suzaku retorted. "If you want me to come along, you'll have to explain yourself."

"I'll explain what I must." There was an unbreakable calmness to his voice, a knife kept under silk. "But there's a reason to my methods. Trust me."

"And how am I supposed to do that when you won't tell us your intentions?"

"Must I clarify everything?" Lelouch asked, a puzzled look on his face. "I thought your faith in me was stronger, Suzaku. Especially considering what we talked about earlier."

Suzaku scowled. Of course Lelouch would be dangling their words over his head. Knowing he could do nothing to get within reach, not with his heart in the way. "Lelouch…"

"We'll do it," Kallen cut in. She gave Suzaku a look before he could interrupt, one that seemed to say _follow my lead_. "Tell us what to do. It involves this festival, right?"

"Right," he said. "Tell me, Kallen—what do you know about it?"

"Nothing." Her bluntness still surprised Suzaku sometimes. "I'm not part of the planning committee. I just know it's starting in two days. How did you find out? From the radio?"

"Not at all." He pointed. "Did you not realize you had a flyer right there?"

"Huh?" She turned. Stuck to her front door was a crumpled piece of paper, covered in the image of a giant floating lantern, along with a set date and time. "Oh. I guess Mom must've brought it in without telling me."

"Look closer," Lelouch said. "There's no fee requirement. No restrictions to entry aside from proof of connection, student or otherwise. And the event is being advertised to the whole city."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"The government wants to uphold an image of peace," he observed. "What better place to start than with Ashford's student body and their loved ones? The alma mater of their own Empress?"

"You think Britannia is going to be there," Suzaku said, the remnants of his meal entirely forgotten. "Trying to take over."

"Not just any part of Britannia," Lelouch added, "but royalty. Cornelia and Schneizel. They'll use Nunnally if they have her. A surprise visit would easily swoon the public over."

"But what if they're not there?" Kallen asked, her brows furrowed together. "We'll end up exposing ourselves."

"Not an issue." Lelouch closed his eyes. He gently sipped at his tea. "We'll win them over instead."

Suzaku stared at him. "Win them over?"

"Yes. The return of an emperor, one with the power to rise from the dead?" His smirk was a devious one. "They already know we are coming. Making the first move will inspire awe, if not terror, into them."

"Just like the Requiem." _Even if everything else around them had changed. _"The same way as before, Lelouch?"

"It's all we have," Lelouch responded, the light in his eyes obscured once more. Hiding something. "But I'll need both of your help. Can you get me into Ashford, Kallen?"

"I can," Kallen said reluctantly. Her mouth was drawn in a firm line. "But only if you promise me something, Lelouch."

"Tell me."

Her voice was hard enough to cut through glass. "You won't resort to what you did before," she commanded. "You won't put them in danger or keep them under siege. Either willingly or through Geass. Promise me that, at least."

Lelouch reached out. As he placed his hand on the table, the tips of his fingers grazed against hers. "I promise," he said.

She met his gaze. As time passed, Suzaku wondered what she could be thinking—not even he knew whether Lelouch could be trusted at this point—until finally she said, "Alright. When do you want to leave?"

* * *

"Hey, Nina?" Rivalz desperately knocked on the door. Geez, how could a couple of paper lanterns be so heavy? Did someone fill them up with lead? "C'mon, open up! I can't hold onto these for much longer!"

"Coming!" A thin voice came from within, followed by shuffling footsteps. The door swung open to reveal Nina in the doorway, wringing out her hands. "What are you doing, carrying all of that? Make sure you don't drop it!"

"I'm trying!" He teetered past her and into the student council's office, searching for something to break his fall. The boxes tipped precariously to one side. "Oh, crap! Quick, Nina! Grab the box with—"

"Gosh, Rivalz," a soft voice interrupted. The weight in his arms lessened, but it was already too late. He slipped and tumbled to the ground, the boxes scattering their contents across the carpet. "I thought you'd be more organized than this. Guess some things never change!"

"Oww." He rubbed at his head, groaning. "Sorry, Milly. I'm normally not this bad. Just today."

As she hoisted the box in her arms, Milly Ashford let out a giggle. "At least the lanterns in this one are okay," she said as she peered inside. "One, two, three...hm. Looks like all six are intact. Good job, Rivalz! You're not entirely useless after all!"

"Aw, c'mon. It's not my fault they're so _heavy,"_ he complained. "It's a good thing you came to help, Milly. Otherwise we'd be doomed."

"Oh, I know." Milly lowered herself to the floor, reaching for the scattered light bulbs. "You're supposed to be Student President, Rivalz. Are you handling it well? It's a lot of responsibility, and you're...well..."

"W-What do you mean? Of course I am! I've been doing it for a year!"

"That doesn't necessarily mean you've done well," Nina mumbled off to the side, not looking up from her textbook. "Though he certainly tries his best."

"See? Nina agrees with me!" Milly hopped back to her feet, one finger raised in lecture. "How often do you check the budget? Are the professors doing their job? When's the last time you looked over the security cameras? Can you recite the mission statement from—"

"Milly, please!" Rivalz clapped his hands over his ears. "I get it, I get it. I suck at being President. Can we move on? Will you help me now?"

"There you go! Took you long enough to admit it!" Milly's exuberance could have lit up the entire room. As she picked up another box Rivalz couldn't help but gawk at her, oblivious to the mess surrounding him. It was a shame that she did not visit Ashford as much anymore—her smile still made him weak in the knees. He missed seeing her giggle at his antics. The way she got him to keep his act together. And how pretty she was, and how nice she smelled, and how her breasts would always—

"Ack!" He shook his head rapidly. "Er, sorry. Did you say something, Milly?"

"Hm? Were you not listening?" She blinked. "I said, did you purchase the flowers already? This _is _a spring festival, after all. If nothing else, the decorations must be perfect!"

"Y-Yeah. I told Nina to order them three days ago." He looked over. "Right, Nina?"

"Huh? No, you didn't," she answered, bewildered. "You told me to answer phone calls."

"_And _order flowers," Rivalz added, already feeling perspiration gather on his forehead. "Remember? Pink carnations and blue hydrangeas?"

"Oh...you just said their names. I thought they were code for something else. "

"Huh? No, I—what? How did you even think of that?!"

"You told me we should use code names to keep things a secret. I-I just assumed—"

"Not for this!" Rivalz buried his face in his hands. "Crap. Now how are we gonna get enough flowers with just _two days'_ time?"

Milly could not hold back her laughter. "That's okay, Rivalz. Those flowers are horrible choices anyway."

"Agreed. I think cherry blossoms would suit much better."

The words struck him like a blow to the chest. Rivalz choked._ That voice_. One reminiscent of motorcycle rides, chess battles, and lonely fireworks. Of how he had holed himself up in his room for an entire week, consumed by grief. Could it have been from his imagination? But then why did it sound like it was coming from _a few feet away_?

He looked up, his mouth drier than the dust coating the boxes. And saw him leaning against the doorway. "_Lelouch?"_ He gasped. "B-B-But—"

"It's been a long time, hasn't it, Rivalz?" He looked the same as before. Same hair, same eyes, same grin, only a different outfit. The way he spoke sounded friendly, as if they were old friends reconnecting after a long break. "I've been gone for a while, I know. I'm sorry to have kept you waiting." He raised a hand in greeting. "How have you been, Milly? Are things going well at the news station?"

There was a crash as Milly dropped the box in her arms. Her face turned pale, as if stricken by fever. She clawed at the green fabric of her vest. "Y-You—" she stammered. "Lelouch...you…"

"Hm? Why is everyone acting so strangely?" Lelouch stepped in and past Nina, who looked like she was about to snap her pen in half. "Am I interrupting something? Kallen, I thought you said they would be free at this time."

"I did." Then _Kallen _came in. What the hell was she doing with Lelouch? Didn't she fight against him during the war? Had she been brainwashed? "That's what I thought, anyway."

"Hm," Lelouch mused. "Strange. Perhaps this is a bad time."

A sense of dread traveled down Rivalz's spine. It was unnerving to see Lelouch so at ease. Just like when he had become Emperor and destroyed the world without a guilty conscience. Maybe all of this was a dream, and his sleepless nights were finally catching up to him. "Lelouch," he began, his tongue caught in his mouth—what could he possibly say?—before ultimately continuing with, "What...what are you doing here? Why are you here?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"I said, _why are you here?" _Finally, he had found his voice. He shook his head desperately, as if to wake himself up. _Any second now. I'll wake up and this'll all be over. C'mon. Wake up. Wake up. _Wake up. "You. You were..."

"You were dead," Nina finished for him. If looks could kill, Lelouch would have collapsed on the spot. "So it's true. Even though he killed you. Zero."

But Lelouch ignored her. Ignored him. Instead, he gave Milly his full attention. "Milly, is everything okay? You look unwell. Do you recognize me?"

Milly recoiled as if slapped. Her eyes darted away. "Y-Yes. I do. I recognize you."

"Why are you shivering?" he asked. "Are you cold?"

"Stop." She said it weakly. "Lelouch. Please leave."

He blinked. "Leave? What do you mean?"

"Leave us alone," she said. She didn't seem to know where to look. "Don't do this. We don't have what you want."

"But I don't want anything," Lelouch said. He took another step forward. "I just wanted to say hi."

"Liar!" Nina stood up. "We don't want you here, Lelouch. Your actions are far beyond repentance. You need to leave. _Now_."

Rivalz held his breath. From where he stood he could make out Kallen in the back, moving to stop Nina. Until Lelouch held up a hand. Stopping _her _instead. It astounded him—was she _following _his command? Kallen? "Nina." Lelouch said her name without turning around. "It's good to see you."

But she didn't seem to hear him. "We had a deal," she said coldly. "You said if I helped you deactivate the FLE—"

"Can we all please relax?" Lelouch interrupted. He held up his other hand. "I don't have any ulterior motive, I swear. Is it so wrong of me to come and visit old friends?"

"Old friends?" Rivalz said. He gripped at one of the chairs, his fingers white. "Are you joking, Lelouch?"

"Uh...no?" Lelouch answered. "You're all my friends, aren't you?"

The way Lelouch was looking at him. Could he be telling the truth? But this was _Lelouch _they were talking about_. _Master of chess and mind games. The self-proclaimed Demon Emperor. And, now that he remembered, someone of royal blood. Rivalz frowned—he wouldn't let that one go so easily. If he were to die in this dream, then he would at least get some answers. "Are we, Lelouch?" he said. "Friends don't lie to one another."

"Is this about that time I told you Milly's favorite date spot? Because at the time it wasn't—"

"What? No!" Rivalz cried out, mortified, hoping that Milly was too preoccupied to have paid attention. "No, obviously not! You think that's what I care about?"

"Then what is it?"

"What _is it?" _Rivalz repeated. "Lelouch. You freaking _died_. On live television. In broad daylight. What...how? How are you here? What happened?" With each consecutive question he could feel the tension building inside of him, a cord about to snap. "Why did you lie about being of royalty? Why did you become Emperor? Why did you go and destroy the world? Lelouch, just, just..._why?_"

Lelouch had fallen silent. Sunlight poured through the tall windows of the student council room, illuminating his expression.

It was blank.

"Please, Lelouch, answer me!" Rivalz shouted desperately. Did he think they were that stupid? He had already fooled them once; he would not let him break their hearts again. Not his, not Nina's, and especially not Milly's. "You're our friend, right? Then why did you betray us? What do you want?! Tell me, or I'll, I'll...I'll use the PA system! I'll announce to everyone in the Academy that you're here! And then you'll...you'll have nowhere to hide!"

Rivalz felt fingers graze his shoulder. Milly's touch was delicate, enough to calm his trembling a little. Though scared half to death, he forced his eyes open, trying to ignore Kallen's stare from afar. Bracing himself for what he would find. Contempt. Disbelief. Maybe even hatred. But Lelouch may as well have been a stranger on the street, for his eyes were entirely empty. Just like the promise he once made to light fireworks with them.

Right as Rivalz was about to run up and shake him by the shoulders, Lelouch smiled again. "What in the world are you talking about, Rivalz?" he said. "Where did you come up with such a grand story?"

"Huh?" Rivalz blanched. "Story?"

"Are you feeling alright? It sounds like you've been awake for too long." His expression shifted. "Or is this another prank? We're not doing this again, are we? The one you pulled last time didn't even work."

Rivalz stumbled back, nearly tripping over the chair behind him. "Wha...Lelouch, how could—"

"Milly, is he okay?" Lelouch wondered. "Look, if this is another one of your grand schemes, you've won. I fell for it. A smashing success. But there's no need to get the whole Academy involved, is there?"

Milly looked like she was about to faint. "You can't be serious, Lelouch. Are you actually saying you don't remember?"

"Remember _what?" _He sounded exasperated. "Kallen, maybe you can talk some sense into them. What's going on?"

From her place by the door, Kallen bit her lip. "I don't know," she said, wavering, as if unsure of her place. "But Rivalz, Milly, Nina. I think you should give him a chance. He clearly isn't trying to hurt anyone."

If Nina were to give Rivalz the same look she was giving Kallen, he would have bolted out and never returned. "Kallen, you're going along with this?" she said. "You're siding with _him?_"

"I'm saying we shouldn't push him away so quickly. It's not what you think."

"Bullshit!" Nina suddenly erupted, like a bomb at the end of its fuse. She clenched the pen in her hand as if it were a knife. "I should've known you'd slither back to him! You people are all the fucking same! Nothing but dogs!"

"Hold on, Nina." Lelouch turned to her. He brushed his hand over one eye. "I don't want to cause a commotion. Could you please listen to what I have to say? Be reasonable, won't you?"

"Reasonable? You bastard, I'll show you—"

Then Nina froze. Her jaw went slack. She slowly straightened up, then nodded, the sharpness in her tone melting into vapor. "Yeah, sorry," she said. "I've calmed back down. I'll be okay."

"H-Huh?" Rivalz whipped his head back and forth. _Did he just...hypnotize her?_ "Nina? Lelouch? What did you do?!"

"I didn't do anything," Lelouch said. He rubbed at his eye—the same eye—with his hand, as if exhausted. "Nina can be sensible when she wants to be. She must have returned to her senses. Right, Nina?"

"Yes, I have. I shouldn't have overreacted." Nina nodded at them. She spoke with all the emotion of a robot. "Maybe you should see what he has to say, Rivalz. I don't think he means any harm."

Rivalz could feel the blood rushing out of him. His legs trembled, pushing him to make a run for it. But Kallen was guarding the door. She'd cream him in an instant. What if he tried jumping out the window? They were on the second floor; he could survive that, right? But what about Milly? How would she get out? He couldn't just leave her. But then they'd both be screwed. Unless he thought of something, quick. Something to escape this awful nightmare. _This has to be a dream. This has to be a dream. Wake up now, Rivalz. For the love of God, _wake up—

"Come on, Rivalz." He looked up. Lelouch was sitting at one of the round tables, patting the seat beside him. His grin was genuine. "It's been a while. Why don't you tell me what you've been up to?"

Before Rivalz could reply, he felt someone's hand on his shoulder. Milly was behind him again, her nails digging into his shirt. "Maybe we should listen, Rivalz," she murmured in his ear. Her voice was trembling. "Maybe he really has changed."

He stared back at her. "Milly? Are you hypnotized too?"

"No, of course not," she said. "But Lelouch could've killed us by now if he wanted to. I don't know what it is, but I have a feeling. I think...I think we should hear what he has to say. Something about him seems different."

"Different?" Rivalz turned back. Lelouch was waiting for them, his hands folded on the table. Were it not for...well, _everything, _Rivalz might have mistaken him for a regular student. A friend. His own friend. Passing notes in class. Messing with Shirley's belongings. Chopping potatoes together for school banquets. That was the Lelouch he had never stopped missing—could there be a trace of him still in there?

"Alright, Milly. I trust you." He shook his head. Then stepped towards Lelouch, his breathing shallow, the fear turning him into solid rock. "Okay, Lelouch," he said with a gulp. "We'll talk to you. But, uh, you won't hurt us, right? W-We're still your friends, right? Right?"

"Of course, Rivalz." Lelouch's expression softened as he beckoned them forward. As Milly sat beside him, Rivalz could only wonder whether they had become pieces in his chess game. "After all, you guys have always been there for me. Now please, tell me everything. How are things at Ashford?"

* * *

"Anything out here?"

"Nothing." Suzaku glanced down the hallway for the hundredth time. "You were right, Kallen. No one comes to the student council office after hours."

"Yeah. Rivalz makes it a huge deal that they aren't to be bothered after five PM. He loves slacking off when he can." She pressed her ear up to the door. "Looks like things have calmed down. I hope they're alright.”

"Me too," Suzaku said. He stared down at his shoes. "I really hope this wasn't a mistake."

"What makes you say that?"

"I can't imagine what we're putting them through. If Lelouch were to hurt them in some way, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself."

"Don't worry," Kallen said. "I don't think he wants to. They were his friends once too. He's not a complete monster."

"I know. But I can't help but worry. Lelouch has a history of going too far."

"Which is why I warned him," she said as she pulled back. "That he can't hurt them."

"And do you trust him?"

"Yes. Don't you?"

Suzaku hesitated. "I do," he said. "But…"

"You trust in him and his intentions," Kallen observed, "but not his methods. Am I right?"

"Yes. Yes, exactly," Suzaku said partially to himself. "I hope this works. I don't want to consider the alternative he'd sink to if it doesn't."

But before Kallen could respond, the door swung open. "I heard that, you know," Lelouch said. Gently, he shut it closed behind him. "Luckily, there's no alternative to consider."

"Really?" Suzaku perked up. "So they're okay with us staying here?"

"For now. But we're forbidden from interacting with the students, or leaving this wing of the academy. There's some rooms in the floor above where Milly's father used to live. We can stay there until the festival ends."

"And...they're okay? With us? With us going to the festival?"

Not to Suzaku's surprise, Lelouch shook his head. "Not exactly. Milly and Rivalz have their doubts, but they're willing to give us a chance. As long as we don't cause a commotion, we are free to do as we choose. Oh, and by the way, Kallen, they're waiting for you inside. They want an explanation from someone they trust."

"Shit." Kallen sighed. "I saw this coming. I'm terrible at lying."

"Best of luck," Lelouch commented as she slid past him. "Try not to scare them too much."

"Ha ha." She made a face as she closed the door. Leaving Suzaku alone with Lelouch, their only company the paintings on the wall. A sense of unease breathed down his neck, one he could not shake off. There were a million things that could go wrong with this strategy, and using Ashford as a base was skating on thin ice. If their safety were to be jeopardized, he might be out of miracles to pull. The last thing he wanted was to put his home in danger.

_Not your home anymore, _a voice in his head reminded him. _You never truly belonged here anyway._

"Are you okay, Suzaku?" Lelouch asked. "You seem troubled."

"I am," he said. "About a lot of things."

"Like what?"

"Your Geass. Did you use it?"

"I had to. On Nina. She was likely going to kill me if I didn't."

"What did you tell her?"

Lelouch sighed. "To calm down and listen to reason. Nothing too manipulative, I assure you."

"And Rivalz? Milly?"

"I was tempted, but no. They came around on their own terms." He ran a hand through his hair. "Satisfied?"

"For now," Suzaku said with a nod. "I'm choosing to trust you, Lelouch. Not only as your knight, but also as your friend."

"I guess that makes me the lucky one." Lelouch smirked. "The pieces have been set, Suzaku. With Milly and Rivalz on our side, all that's left is to wait."

"Wait?" Suzaku questioned. "Wait for what?"

"For their next move." The last rays of sunlight were dull compared to the sparkle in his eye. "Regardless of the outcome, it will make for a most excellent stage. And if there's one thing people love, it's an entertaining show."

* * *

C.C. mumbled aimlessly as she woke up. Dreams, hazier than the faces from her past, fogged her senses. It didn't last for long; the sound of a door being slammed brought her back to reality.

"Ugh." She sat up, wiping at her eyes with her sleeve. Three days already. Or was it four? She was starting to lose count. Her imprisonment was nothing new, nor was her holding cell. The air reminded her of sewage, and that awful green light did nothing to ease her nausea. Her straitjacket, on the other hand, felt oddly appropriate given her situation.

_It all leads back to Britannia. _No doubt Lelouch must be worried out of his mind, trying to convince himself of his adequacy. She had seen him do so many times, back when the empire he built had been brought to its knees. Without realizing it, she smiled to herself. Normally the temperamental ones never got anything accomplished. But Lelouch had been the exception to many a rule, and his influence was one of a kind. Geass had given him the power to change the world, but only he could have pulled it into being.  
  
Thank goodness that she had picked the right partner.

Footsteps. She heard them now, getting louder. Boots raining on metal. It was coming her way. Another guard to question her? Perhaps they had reached the torturing stage. Or they could be jumping straight to execution if they were really desperate. Not that it made a difference. The solace she felt upon blacking out was no more than a slumber, and she was more than used to experiencing pain.

A jarring sound reached her ears. The door to her cell had opened. In walked a tall figure, clad in purple robes. The green light reflected off of the mask they wore.

"So you finally came," C.C. said. "Zero."

Zero walked closer, their cape swaying by their ankles. And stopped before her. C.C. blinked. Was this supposed to be part of the interrogation? Rarely did they send someone of higher ranking; Clovis had been the one exception. "To what do I owe the honor?" she said.

"It's been a while, C.C.." The voice had no owner. "Are you surprised to see me?"

"Surprised? Not anymore," C.C. said. "I was, at first. But then I remembered that nothing in this world is sacred."

"Sacred, hm?" Zero lowered themselves to their knees. "Are you saying that salvation is out of my reach?"

"There is no such thing as salvation," C.C. answered. "People create their own definitions to push others' away. The idea is no different than justice. Universal, yet meaningless."

"What a fascinating answer!" Zero let out a sound that could only be described as a laugh. "Though I should have expected nothing different from you."

"And I should have seen that question coming from _you," _C.C. answered playfully. "You always did have a knack for hypotheticals. Didn't you, Marianne?"

Without another word, Zero raised their hands and lifted the mask off. Dark hair poured down her shoulders, followed by angular cheekbones. Under the dim light C.C. could see the warmth in her smile, one that could only belong to that of a mother.

"You know me too well, C.C.," Marianne vi Britannia said warmly. "It's true what they say—some things never change."


	13. (Picture Drama 2): Healing

“Hold still, won’t you?”

“Ouch!” Suzaku jerked back, nearly causing Lelouch to drop the container in his hand. “That stings!”

“Don’t be such a baby,” Lelouch reprimanded. They were back in the guest room, their lunch having ended with Suzaku as Lelouch’s patient while Kallen had taken on cleanup duty. Not that he had gotten much of a say—Lelouch had practically dragged him away by the collar, despite his complaints of being fine. Then pushed him down on the bed. Then commanded him to strip, to look forward, before finally subjecting Suzaku to his torture weapon of choice. 

“What happened to the brave Knight of Zero?” Lelouch continued as he dipped two fingers into the ointment—_why does it smell like gasoline? _Suzaku wondered—and rubbed over the wounds on his shoulder, making him grimace. 

“Your Knight of Zero had a Lancelot for protection,” he said. “And Cécile was much more _ gentle.”_

“I’m not Cécile.”

“I can tell.”

“Hush,” Lelouch snapped. He ran his hand down Suzaku’s exposed side, caressing over the upper half of his body. Poking here, gliding there. It meant nothing, nothing more than a concerned friend looking after him. C.C. had done the same to him before; Kallen, too. 

But that did not stop him from shivering under his touch. 

“You’re lucky to be alive," Lelouch muttered. “I can’t believe you escaped _ two _Knightmare Frames. How the hell did you manage to get out?”

“Don’t you remember, Lelouch?” Suzaku said, wary to look back lest Lelouch whacked him over the head again. _ Stay still, Suzaku. Stop fidgeting, Suzaku. _And he thought Cécile had been uptight. “Your Geass?”

“What about it?”

“Your command to me?” he said. “It was what got me out.”

There was a moment of silence. “What command?”

He ignored Lelouch’s noise of exasperation as he looked back. “You don’t remember?”

“I’ve given lots of commands, Suzaku,” he said. “You can’t expect me to remember all of them.”

“I don’t.” The burn from his injuries was little compared to the fire building inside of him. “But this one was different.”

“Oh? How so?”

“You forced me to _ live. _It was why I became Zero. Had to repent for my crimes. All I wanted was to die, and you prevented me from having even that.”

It would have been less painful were Lelouch’s display of surprise not sincere. “I...did I really?”

“You said it yourself,” Suzaku said, trying not to strangle him. “You pointed out how I wished to die? And that I shouldn’t throw myself into danger?”

Another moment. One that felt like eons, before Lelouch’s eyes widened. “That’s right,” he mumbled. “When you were holding me hostage before Kamine Island. My Geass.”

_ He really didn’t remember. _“Your memory…” he began, looking Lelouch up and down. The mark was shining in both eyes. The same that had cursed him to walk this path. “Is it still recovering?”

“It’s fine,” Lelouch brushed aside. “I’ll be fine. It may take some time, but I promise not to let such things go again.”

“You can’t guarantee that.”

“I can, and I will.” He gave him a small shove. “Now, turn forward. I told you not to move!”

“Ugh.” Though Suzaku made a face, he held back a sigh of relief. Cornelia was after blood, C.C. could be dead—though he doubted it—and Zero was cornering them like rats in a cage. With everything looming over their heads, Lelouch had taken a turn for the worse: he looked like he hadn’t slept in days, and he wouldn’t stop shivering, despite the warm weather. But his memory seemed...decent, at least, and looking after Suzaku seemed to be good for him, his attention focused on something other than their impending doom. A good distraction from Nunnally, as well—something they both desperately needed. 

“Say, Lelouch,” Suzaku began, right as he felt something cold on the back of his neck, “what are you trying to get out of this plan?”

“Hm?” His hand stopped moving. “What are you going on about now?”

“You’re going to visit Ashford, right?” he asked. “Why?”

“You already asked me this. Twice.”

“Because you never answered.”

“And I _ told _you why I wouldn't.” Once again, Lelouch had begun applying. Over his shoulder blades, down his back, his skin tingling from more than just the ointment. “There’s a reason it’s called strategy, not open discussion.”

It took effort not to turn around just to aggravate him. “Okay, but why can’t you share your _ strategy?_”

“That would threaten the element of surprise. The less information I share, the less likely it will leak to the masses.”

“Right, but—”

“You were a general once,” Lelouch said. “Don’t act like you don’t know this.”

Suzaku sighed audibly. “Fine, Lelouch,” he said, his fingers tapping against the bed frame. “Keep your secrets to yourself. Don’t share with me. See if I care.”

“I will, thank you.” There was a jagged noise, loud enough to make Suzaku wince. “Just so you know, this might hurt a bit.”

Lelouch had lied—the gauze slamming into his wounds almost made Suzaku bite his tongue in half. Luckily, it was not long before he had finished covering up his back, the gauze wrapped tighter than the schoolgirls around Gino’s finger. “Wow,” Suzaku breathed out as Lelouch sealed the last strip. “That was awful. It wasn’t that painful when Kallen did it.”

“It wouldn’t be at all had you been more careful.” Had Lelouch not been a powerful dictator, he would have made the perfect nanny_. _“Kallen said you told her that the salve was working wonders. Were you lying?”

His mind went blank. “Uh...no?”

“Tch.” The blankets shifted as Lelouch moved up beside him, glaring down. “Stop trying to act like a hero all the time.”

Suzaku frowned. “Well, _ one _of us has to be.”

“This isn’t some fairy tale in a storybook. If, after everything we went through, you still believe in some silly concept of good versus evil, of white versus black, then you’re dumber than I thought.”

At one point the insult would have stung harsher than his wounds. Ignited Suzaku like a match to gasoline. Now, they flew past his head. It was just Lelouch. Albeit, a stressed Lelouch. “I didn’t say it was,” he pointed out. “Just that someone has to take the fall for your safety.”

“You are _ not _going to guilt trip—”

“I’m not. Relax, Lelouch.” Kallen or her mother must have pulled up the blinds at some point; sunlight was pouring in, heating the back of his head. Casting Lelouch’s anger under white light, his skin even more pallid. “You said it yourself: ‘A king must lead so his subjects can follow’. And there’s no way you can lead if someone isn’t protecting you. That's what I’ve done to keep you safe. What I’m going to keep doing, if I have to.”

“But—”

“You were the Emperor once.” His tone held no harshness, but Lelouch’s eyes widened nonetheless. “Don’t act like you don’t know this.”

His words were like a needle, puncturing Lelouch as he deflated. He plopped back down onto the bed. A minute passed before he mumbled out, “But you didn’t follow. You put yourself at risk. That’s not...” 

“Not what?”

But Lelouch could not bring himself to answer. Instead, he buried his face in one hand. “Ugh. I’m sorry. I just...I don’t want to lose you. The thought of it—”

“Hey. You haven’t.” Suzaku placed one hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently. “I’m right here, aren’t I?”

“Yes. Yes, you’re right.” He blinked extra hard that time. His hand fell. “Turn towards me, won’t you? We’re almost done, I promise.”

For a moment, Suzaku seemed to pause. _ No use hiding it now_, he thought_. _ Then he did as he was told, only to feel goosebumps as Lelouch gasped loudly, and whispered out in horror, “_Suzaku._”

“I’m fine.” He attempted to cover the wound with his hand, as if to make it smaller somehow. “Really, I’m okay.”

“No, you’re not!” The jar of ointment fell onto the bed as Lelouch leaned forward, his fingers gliding over the gash. “What happened here? Doesn’t this hurt?”

“No.” 

“You’re lying again.” He shook his head. “Dear God, can’t you be honest for once? With something like this, it’s a miracle you’re still alive.”

“Yes. Kallen told me that already.” They were so worried about him. Why? He had an eternal command to live, and not much to live for. He should be the least of their worries. “I’ll be okay. I’ll live, Lelouch.”

“Barely.” His eyes remained fixed on his chest, his fingers aimlessly searching for the jar. “I can’t believe you were injured so badly. That you hid this from me.” The pain in his voice made it crack. “And you wonder why I worry about you.”

“I hid it so you wouldn’t worry.”

“Does it look like it worked?” Irritation flashed in his eyes, battling against the concern. He took a deep breath. “Suzaku. Please. Don’t hide these things from me. I can’t worry about our next step _ and _ what you’re silently enduring at the same time. The stress would kill me.”

Suzaku’s gaze fell. “Now you remember,” he said softly, “how it feels to have secrets kept from you.”

For the second time that day, Lelouch seemed at a loss of words. “Suzaku," he said. "That’s not...”

“Are you going to continue?" Suzaku interrupted. He held back a shiver. "I’m starting to get cold. We’re almost done, right?”

A pause. Then, “Right. Right, we’re almost done.” He reached out, his fingers caressing over his chest. Thank goodness that the wound had avoided the area above his heart—Lelouch would have felt it racing for sure. “Suzaku, I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright.” He shot him a weak smile. “I’m sorry I made things difficult.”

“You did what you must. As knights must do.” Lelouch’s eyes fell half-closed, lost in thought as he finished up. “And as a leader, it is my duty to lead. No matter the fears holding me back.”

_ Just like Nunnally. _ The thought struck a chord with him. How both siblings had been held back by every force imaginable, yet emerged as leaders of the world. Even broken free from their lineage to chase after peace. Perhaps noble blood _could_ have noble intentions.

“Hm? What does Nunnally have to do with this?”

Suzaku jerked up. Had he said his thoughts aloud? “Oh,” he began. “Uh, I was just thinking about how Nunnally was similar to you. As a leader.”

“Is that so?” Another tearing noise as he drew out the gauze. “In what sense?”

“She understands what it means to have governance. Over many people.” He clenched his teeth as Lelouch applied another strip; it felt like being scrubbed with sandpaper. “But she—_ow!—_knows that, as hard or scary as it may be, it is a leader’s job to make hard decisions. Not to chase after power.”

“That’s a simple way of putting it.” Lelouch gave one last pat for good measure, hard enough to make Suzaku reconsider whether he was actually dying after all. “Politics are twisted in every way. One right move, and something else falls apart. It’s much easier to unite them under one concept.”

“Isn’t that what your parents tried to do?” Suzaku said. “Eliminate all differences?”

“Yeah. The ultimate act of narcissism.” He scoffed. “They sought a world that served their own ideals.”

“And you’re no different?”

“The world I wanted was for _ Nunnally,” _ he argued. “One that brought peace, not conformity. Made _ her _happy.”

“Hm.” So C.C. had spoken the truth. _ Nunnally was but a guiding light to show him how. _“And this plan of yours is for that goal?”

“No, my plan is—”

He caught himself. “Ah. So that’s why. Trying to get me to reveal my hand, Suzaku?”

He gave a half-hearted shrug. “Worth a shot?”

“Nice try. I don’t lose that easily.”

“Oh?” Suzaku raised his eyebrows. “You think so? Then who won every time on the battlefield?”

“That’s because you rode a demigod of a war machine,” Lelouch said. “I’m talking strategy. No outside help. Who used to win at cards? At chess? At mahjong?”

“Hey, that’s not fair! My first time playing was with you!”

“Not my problem.”

“Well, what about tag? Or when we’d catch fireflies? You couldn’t run to save your life.”

“You know damn well I have weak knees.”

Suzaku did not retort, his mouth drawn into a firm line. It was always this way with Lelouch—he was nothing if not competitive. Either he would be the last one standing or he would drag everyone else down, so long as he came out the victor. Even now he was glaring back, the look in his eyes daring Suzaku to push further. Just like the day he had become Emperor, waiting for someone to challenge his might. 

Suddenly, Suzaku burst out laughing. “W-Wow,” he sputtered out, falling back onto the bed. “You...you really haven’t changed at all. Have you?”

“What?” Lelouch said, bewildered. “What are you talking about now?”

“Lelouch—” Suzaku held a hand up to his chest as it heaved uncontrollably. “You should see the look on your face!”

Lelouch almost fell off the edge of the bed. “Huh?”

“You look—you look so serious!” He hiccuped. “Sorry. It’s just, you look so _ mad. _ Over something so _ dumb.” _

The speed at which Lelouch went from pale to beet-red was astonishing. “I—you started this!”

“I did. I really did.” At last, the remnants of his laughter began to fade. He shakily pushed himself back up. “Wow. I can’t believe it. You’re just as competitive as before.”

“Hmph.” Lelouch let out a huff, pouting as he looked away. “And you’re as annoying as ever.”

“Oh, come on,” Suzaku prodded gently. “Don’t act like you didn’t miss this.”

“I didn’t miss this.”

“You did. Come on, admit it.”

“No.”

“Still stubborn too, huh?” He shook his head, the grin taking over his cheeks. _ Can’t admit when he’s wrong, can he? _With no response seemingly in waiting, he made to get up. “Fine. Guess I’ll leave you to—”

“Suzaku. Wait.” His hand had shot out, grabbing onto Suzaku’s. “You’re not ready to get up on your own.”

“I’ll be fine. I can handle—”

“You can _ not _handle it.” Weakly, Lelouch pulled him back down. “This is not a contest. Please.”

The final word seemed to break his voice. Suzaku turned to him. His head was bowed, the threads of his hair dangling low, hiding his expression. “Lelouch?” he said. “Are you okay?”

“I am. But you’re not.” To Suzaku’s surprise, he moved up closer. Drew up beside him, their hips almost touching. “Don’t leave me yet.”

He held his breath. “Lelouch?”

“I said, don’t leave me yet.” The stubbornness in his tone had melted into a softness, one that Suzaku had heard very few times before. Only with Nunnally, it seemed. “I’m tired of worrying. With you here in my sight, it makes things easier.”

_ Makes _ what _ easier? _Suzaku wondered. “You don’t have to worry in the first place. I told you.”

“But I do.” He heard Lelouch sigh. Then, suddenly, saw him tilt over, his head leaning to the side, before it came to a stop against his shoulder. “And I don’t want to. Not for now.”

Something welled up in Suzaku’s throat. “Does this make you happy?” he dared to ask. He was afraid of pushing too hard, of driving him away. Of revealing more than he needed to. Maybe, through some way like this, he could still make him happy. At a distance. Without having to resort to warfare or Geass or death. “Me being here?”

“For now.” He chuckled. “You know, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you were right.”

“About?”

“About us,” he said. “I _ did _miss this.”

Suzaku was stunned into silence.It was likely nothing important, nothing more than a concerned friend looking after another friend. Lelouch must have also missed C.C.; Kallen, too.

But that did not stop him from pulling Lelouch closer, one arm wrapped around his shoulder. “I missed this, too,” he said softly. 

“Hm.” Lelouch leaned into him, watching the gray of the buildings outside the window. “_Now _you listen to me.”

“Someone has to look after you.”

“Says the one who gets into danger.”

“Yes. For you.” Off of Lelouch’s hair came the scent of smoke and sandalwood. Familiar. Subtle. The same as that of the boy he had found on his doorstep, holding his blinded sister. “Because I have to protect you.”

“I see.” Lelouch placed one hand on his exposed chest. “A knight and his Emperor. Right, Suzaku?”

_ More than just that. _“Yes, Your Majesty.”

A knock on the door made Suzaku jump. “Hello?” he heard Kallen call out. “Are you both finished in there?”

His cheeks burned more than the sun on his skin. “Uh, hold on Kallen—”

“Yes, we are,” Lelouch interrupted lazily. Not moving. Still cradled on his shoulder, his hand hovering near his heart. “Come in, Kallen.”

Suzaku barely had time to hiss out “_Lelouch!” _and push himself away before the door swung open, a curious Kallen making her way in. Her expression changed as her gaze fell on them. Lelouch, only starting to sit up straight. Suzaku, trying not to seem out of place (and failing spectacularly). “What’s going on?” she asked, staring back and forth.

“Nothing,” Lelouch said. He raised his hand, beckoning her forward. “Come join us, Kallen. We were just talking about who would win in a game of chess.”

“Well, you, obviously,” she said. “But Suzaku has you beat in everything else. Why is this even a question?”

Off to the side, Suzaku could not help but mutter _ told you so _as Kallen approached them, her hands held behind her back. “Lelouch,” she began, her expression darkening ever-so-slightly, “I have something for you.”

He leaned forward. “What is it?”

“This.” She held out her hand. In her palm was a tiny black box. “You’ll need it for later.”

“And this is?”

“Your contacts,” she said, watching him as he removed the lid. “For later today. And whenever you’re out in public.”

He lifted them on the tips of his fingers. “I see,” he said, rotating them slowly, watching them catch the sunlight. “Where did you get this? I thought they belonged to C.C..”

“They do,” Kallen said. “She wanted me to give them to you when the time was right.”

“And that time is now?”

“Yes. Don’t forget your promise to me.” She made to leave the room. “We leave in a few hours. Behave yourself, okay?”

“Wait. Kallen.” Lelouch tossed the box aside. Suzaku could see the Geass flashing, desperately trying to avoid being smothered. “Thank you for this.”

“You can thank me by keeping true to your word,” she said. With one hand, she opened the door. Then stopped. “Put them on soon, okay? I miss your old eyes.”

He blinked. “My old eyes?”

“Yeah. They were really pretty.”

“Oh.” In one fluid motion, he slid his fingers over his eyes. “You mean like this?”

Hesitantly, she turned around. There was concern on her face, but it quickly vanished into recognition. Relief. As warm as the feeling in Suzaku’s chest from where Lelouch had touched him. “There we go. That’s the Lelouch I know.”

“What do you mean?” Lelouch said, puzzled yet again. “It’s just contacts.”

“No, it’s more than that. It’s you.”

“But I’m still me. Is this a joke?”

“No. I meant—” She tossed her head back. “You know what? Never mind. Forget I said anything.”

And she was gone before Lelouch could ask, the door slamming shut behind her. He lowered his hand, and looked over at Suzaku, the sunlight highlighting the purple in his eyes. “Did I say something wrong?”

Suzaku shook his head. And he thought _ he _ was the awkward one. “You _ definitely _haven’t changed,” he said amusedly, “have you, Lelouch?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next (official) chapter is already in the works; sorry for the longer wait times!


	14. Dance of the Devil

_“Even if I’m reborn, I’ll keep falling in love with you.” — Shirley Fenette_

* * *

Kallen leafed through the pages a second time. “It’s no use,” she groaned. “Rivalz, there’s nothing in here.”

“What?” Rivalz jumped up from his corner of the student council room. “Check it again!”

“I did. Twice.” She slammed the open book onto the table. “I told you, you won’t find anything in the Ashford directory. This was written years ago. Probably by Milly’s great-great-grandparents.”

“But-but—” he stammered as he made his way over, “Where am I supposed to get more? The store ran out! And the festival is tonight!"

“Didn’t you place any on hold?” Kallen asked. “You knew this was for a _ festival, _ right?”

“I wouldn’t be asking you if I did!”

“Damn it, Rivalz.” She rubbed her face with her hands. Why, oh why, did she allow him to rope her into this mess? Without Milly to keep him in check, it was falling on her to pick up the slack. A _ lot _of slack. Definitely more than she had signed up for. “I dunno what to tell you. When you told me ‘join the committee or none of you can participate’, I thought you meant help with the little things.” 

“These are the little things,” he pointed out. “I haven’t even told you where to pick up the food!”

She could have sworn she felt a blood vessel pop. “Rivalz—”

“It’s okay, Kōzuki.” A hand fell on her shoulder. “I’ll call Ohgi and ask if he knows anyone in the...er...floating lantern business. I’m sure we’ll find something.”

She looked back. “Are you sure, Ms. Kaname?” she said. “It’s not your responsibility.”

“I told you to call me Villetta.” She smiled. “Just because I’m your coach now doesn’t mean we have to be formal.”

“Sorry, Villetta.”

“Don’t be.” She shook her head, her silver ponytail swinging by her hips. “And yes, it is. As co-head of the committee, I have to make sure things aren’t falling apart.”

“But isn’t this extra trouble for you?”

“Eh. I’m used to it.” She raised her chin towards Rivalz. Rapidly searching through a binder, mumbling to himself. “You don’t know how much trouble that one has given me.”

Kallen groaned. “Same.”

“Are you done with scheduling?” Viletta leaned over. “I’ll need a copy to prepare flyers.”

“A-Almost!” She suddenly lunged forward, covering the sheet of paper before her. “I’m not done yet!”

“Hm? Is everything alright?”

“Everything’s fine!” Her voice cracked. “The schedule’s okay! Nothing’s wrong!”

“What is—“

“It’s just really messy. Like, _ really _messy.” Eventually she would have to ask Lelouch on how to tell a lie without choking up. “Everything’s all over the place. I’m still working on it. Almost done, though!”

Villetta withdrew her hand. “Oh,” she said. “Well, okay. Let me know when you’re done. I have the printers on standby.”

“Will do!” She held her breath as Villetta walked off. And exhaled as she left the room. She glanced down. “Crap,” she muttered. “How am I going to make this work?”

“Make what work?” Rivalz was coming back to her. “You’ve been working on that for an hour. C’mon, Kallen, we got things to do!”

“Shush,” she said. “I’m trying to think.”

“What’s there to think about?” he said as he dropped the binder before her. The lists of restaurants were overwhelming, their names crammed together like sands in an hourglass. “I gave you the list of events already.”

“Yeah. Yeah, you did.” Her nose wrinkled. “Hey, Rivalz. Can we push the official address back by a few hours?”

“Huh?” he exclaimed. “Why? We always start off festivals with the official address!”

“Yeah, but wouldn’t it be nicer to have people enjoy themselves first?” Kallen proposed. “Light some lanterns? Settle in? We could schedule it after the ball. That way it won’t be too late, and they’ll get to relax after dancing.”

“I mean…” His voice trailed off. “Technically, yeah, we can. But we’ve never done it that way before.”

“Well,” she began, with as much conviction as she could muster, “aren’t rules meant to be broken?”

He glanced up at the ceiling, chin in hand. “I mean,” he mused to himself, “that _ does _make sense. I usually fall asleep during the address anyway. Everyone wants to get started, so no one pays attention.”

“Exactly.” Kallen had to double down on her surprise_. Rivalz, please never change. _“People will listen if they’re not as impatient. And they’ll be tired after dancing, so it works out.”

“Alright, fine. You’ve convinced me.” He nodded. “We’ll set it for after the ball. That way, people can chill and light their lanterns as our speaker wraps up.”

“Sounds good to me.” As Kallen began scribbling, she stopped halfway. “By the way, who’s our speaker anyway?”

“I didn’t tell you? It’s someone from the UFN. Kagura, or something.”

Though it failed to crush her, the sense of disappointment was still jarring. “Oh,” Kallen said. “It’s not the Empress?”

“Well, we tried asking for her. But the government never got back to us.” He plopped himself onto the table, oblivious to its wobbling and Kallen’s cry of concern. He sighed. “I heard they’re still coming, though. Britannia.”

“Who’s coming? Officials? The royal family?”

“I guess? That’s what I’m hoping for. They just said they were coming.” He let out a yawn. “It’d be nice to see Princess Cornelia though, you know what I’m saying?”

“You’re just saying that because you think she’s pretty.”

“I do _ not!” _

“Kallen, are you finished?” She could hear Villetta’s voice before she saw her step through the door. “I need to get these printed now.”

“Ms. Kaname! Good, you’re here!” There was a relieved look on Rivalz’s face as he jumped from his seat, sweeping the binder into his arms. “Kallen is taking forever, so it looks like you’ll have to pick up the food.”

“Oh, fine. Where do I need to go?”

“Uh, there’s more than one. Let’s see..._one, two, three..._seven! No, eight!”

There was a crashing noise as Villetta backed into a chair. “What?” she said. “I have to run to eight different restaurants? Are you insane?!”

“It’s a lot of food! And you told me to get the cheapest prices!”

“Yes! From _ one place!” _

As they continued to bicker, Kallen leaned forward. She dug her pen across the paper. So much for a peaceful afternoon. _ You owe me for this, Lelouch_, she thought miserably.

* * *

With care, Lelouch began searching through the closet in his bedroom. It was bigger than expected, so much so that he could fit himself and an entire wardrobe inside with ease. In fact, the entire living quarters had been surprisingly satisfactory, aside from the dust left by the maids. The space was large, larger than his old bedroom, and though the walls were an ugly shade of pink, the accompanying mattress, desk and nightstand were respectable enough. 

He swept past the carbon copies of Ashford uniforms—_damn thing must be produced in a factory, _he thought—and settled on a hanger, partially hidden under a garment bag.

“So she held up her promise,” he said to himself, half-surprised. When Milly had offered to provide him with attire, his first thought was that she had only done so out of fear for her life. That he’d end up with a potato sack or hand-me-downs. But the president _ did _always have a weakness for glitz and glamour, and who was he to complain?

He zipped down the bag, and observed the suit underneath. “Wow,” he said to himself. She had not lied when she said she had a particular reference in mind. “I wonder if…”

“Lelouch?” Suzaku’s voice came from outside, arising from the shadows. “Are you done? Can I come in?”

“I haven’t changed yet, if that’s what you’re wondering,” he called out. “But yes, you can come in.”

His footsteps were hesitant. “Shouldn’t we be going? According to Kallen, the festival is starting soon.”

“I’m not making my entrance until later,” Lelouch snapped, his attention still caught by the suit in his hands. “Remember? I told you what I plan to do.”

“You did. I didn’t think you would.” He could tell that Suzaku had reached his closet, and was standing right outside. “I’m surprised you gave anything away. It’s not like you.”

“Oh? No more '_you haven't changed, Lelouch’?” _he imitated. “Isn’t that what you said? Did things finally change?”

“You’re stressed, aren’t you?”

Lelouch came to a stop, the suit partially caught in his arms. “I’m fine.”

“You think I can’t tell?” Suzaku said. The closet door creaked as it swung open. “Everytime you get stressed, you lose your temper.”

“If people didn’t keep _ bothering _me,” Lelouch said pointedly as Suzaku entered, “I wouldn’t have to.”

“Are you still struggling with that?” He reached for the garment bag. “Here, let me help.” 

He turned around. “I told you, I’m—”

His words abandoned him. Suzaku was right there, standing before him, fully dressed for the night. His hair was neatly combed, his suit a perfect fit for his size. The coat was the darkest shade of midnight blue, embroidered with thin lines of gold, the lapels pressed back. His shirt was black, just like the pants he wore, the front covered by a white embroidered seal. A crimson jewel sat in its center, surrounded by golden accents, forming an insignia in the shape of a single, glaring eye.

Everything about him made Lelouch’s mouth run dry. Most of it was horrifying, a sight dragged out of his past. The rest, on the other hand, made him feel…

Well, it was some way he couldn’t describe. But he did not like it.

He cleared his throat. “You...look just like back then,” he mumbled. And immediately felt annoyed. _ Why would you say that? _

“I think that was the point.” With a tug, Suzaku yanked the outfit out of Lelouch’s arms. “I’ll take care of this. Don’t be stubborn.”

“Fine.” Lelouch observed as Suzaku pulled back the zipper—_i__t only took him a second? How?—_and lifted the suit out carefully. “But you’re not going to like it.”

Being right about something, Lelouch realized, was not a guarantee for vindication. His garment was a direct contrast to Suzaku's suit of dark, made up of white pants and a blazer with red buttons, the coat covered in streaks of gold, like rivers running through snow. The shirt inside was also black, with shining yellow trails and accents curving around crimson buttons, the path of eyes staring back at him. Seeing it raised in its entirety, under the dim light, Lelouch could tell it was undoubtedly well-made. And expensive. Milly must have connections in high places, or some hidden fortune he didn’t know about. 

But its magnificence only seemed to make Suzaku hate it more. “This…” he said, unable to finish. “What is this?”

“Guess there’s only one thing Milly remembers us for,” Lelouch said. “Emperor and Knight. Right, Suzaku?”

He could see the memories resurfacing in Suzaku’s eyes. Likely killing him inside, pushing him to chuck the suit to the floor and smother it beneath his shoes, as if he could destroy their past along with it. Instead, he heard him speak the opposite: “Of course, Your Majesty.”

_ Strange. _He thought Suzaku would have reacted more strongly. But he barely had time to think it over before Suzaku continued on with, “You’ll need help putting this on. Turn around.”

“No, I don’t.”

“At the pace you’re going, we’ll be here all night.” He looked up, his gaze unwavering. “I said, turn around.”

It was as much of a command as Lelouch had heard from him. “And if I don’t?”

“Then you can handle everything else on your own too.”

_ Ah. _ So that’s what it was—a way to test the waters. _ Two can play at that game. _“Fine, Suzaku,” he said. “But be quick.”

He heard Suzaku mutter something under his breath as he turned around, making quick work of the buttons down his shirt. It soon slipped off his shoulders, exposing his arms, his white shirt underneath so thin that it was practically see-through.

“Well?” Lelouch pushed. “Are you going to put it on or not?”

“Stop being so impatient.” First came the dress shirt—goodness, why did Milly have to get one so _ tight_?—and Suzaku’s hands along with it, reaching around to smooth out the crinkles. To slip the buttons through, almost ripping them off in the process. _ And he says I’m the impatient one. _“How does that feel?”

“Like I’m being tortured.” Is this what wearing a straitjacket felt like? No wonder C.C. was always so resentful. “Are you finished?”

“Done.” He could have sworn Suzaku was slowing down on purpose. “Here’s your coat.”

“Finally,” Lelouch said with an exasperated sigh. “I thought someone like you would be better at menial tasks.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, nothing.” He took it from Suzaku and pulled his sleeves through, his hands smoothing back the lapels. At least it was comfortable. And with such a distinct ensemble he was sure to catch the attention of the crowd, whether they wanted to notice him or not. “I thought you were good with your hands. That you knew how to satisfy.”

“What...what’s _ that _supposed to—”

“It means whatever you want it to mean.” He glanced over his shoulder. Sure enough, Suzaku seemed more lost than a child in the woods, his face slowly growing red. _ So easy. _“Is it true?”

“I mean,” Suzaku began, unsure of where to go, “I’m good at manual tasks. You know that.”

“I do,” Lelouch said. “I remember you were especially good at chopping wood. Even with such skinny arms.”

“How else do you think I got those calluses?” Suzaku took a step closer. “Don’t forget your pants.”

“Did you want to help me with those too?”

“I...I mean—”

“Wow. I’m surprised you didn’t jump at the opportunity.” Lelouch chuckled. “But I wouldn't be the first person you've done this to. Would I?”

No response. _ Go easy on him_, he had to remind himself. Stroking Suzaku’s unease would only complicate things further, and the night was looking complicated enough. But old habits tended to die hard, and with Suzaku it was so. Easy. “I don’t mind if you do, by the way,” he added teasingly.

“Here.” He felt something shoved towards him. “I’ll be waiting outside.”

_ Crap. _“Suzaku, wait—” He reached for his shoulder, and narrowly missed him as Suzaku stalked out of the closet. His feet were already moving before his mouth could form the words, “Wait. I’m sorry.”

“Are you?”

“Yes.” Since when did he become so sensitive? _ What is going on? _“I didn’t mean to antagonize you like that. I guess I’m just used to it.”

Suzaku paused, almost at the front door. He turned back, his eyes boring holes through Lelouch’s conscience. “Used to what?”

“Teasing you,” Lelouch said, caught off guard by his own uncertainty. “I mean, isn’t that what friends do? Annoy each other?”

“Right.” There was something off about the way he spoke. As if a light were dimming inside, a fire extinguished. It reminded Lelouch of before. _ Lifeless. Forsaken. _Of their past, all over again.

_ Their past. _“Suzaku,” he began, catching on far too late. “I know I might seem the same as before. The same manipulative person. But things aren’t how they used to be. They won’t be.”

“Sure.” His expression was unreadable. “But I expect you to hold true to your word, Lelouch. I’m tired of resting on assumptions.” Gone was the bounce to his step, the color to his voice. Back to a steadfast knight, prepared to obey and obey only. 

_ Old habits always die hard, don’t they? _“Very well,” Lelouch said, knowing any further placation would be of no use. “Let us complete tonight first. I’ll prove it to you.”

“Fine.” Suzaku yanked the pants out of Lelouch’s arms before he could react. “I’ll do this too. You take way too long.”

Lelouch could not find it in him to argue as he conceded, his hands slipping off his belt. It wasn’t Suzaku’s first time seeing him so exposed—they’d seen more than enough of one another as kids—but it felt strange nonetheless. There was an air between them, one Lelouch couldn’t put his finger on. And if there was anything he hated more than losing, it was feeling out of control.

But Suzaku had stayed true to his word, helping Lelouch slip in as he pulled them up to his waist. “You’re all set, Your Majesty,” he declared, stepping back. 

“Thank you, Suzaku.” He gave his pants an experimental tug, and spun in a circle. “How do I look?”

If he was expecting an answer, then Suzaku was set to disappoint. He was staring at him, his mouth drawn in a line. Lelouch could feel the seconds ticking by before following up with, “Suzaku? I asked—”

“You look good.” It sounded forced, but genuine. “It suits you.”

“Thank you.” He approached him. “Thank you for helping me.”

“Of course.”

“I mean it, too.” Now he was standing before him, close enough to feel his warmth. “If I haven’t said it before, I’m saying it now. I need you there by my side.”

Suzaku seemed to be looking him over before responding with, “Don’t worry, I’ll be there.”

“Good.” He felt it—a tug. An impulse. Quick, but sharp, like someone yanking a cord through his chest. Pulling him to Suzaku, his eyes ensnared to a certain part of his face, soft and— “Uh, _ ahem. _Are you all prepared?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” Suzaku nodded. “Shall we?”

* * *

Kallen let out a gasp of pain. “Ack! I-I can’t—”

“You most certainly can!” Milly insisted. “I told you to _ suck in!_”

“I’m _ trying!” _Kallen said, her palms nearly breaking through the wall. “It’s not closing!”

“Don’t worry,” Milly said, determined. “I’ll make sure it does!”

“Oh God, please don’t—”

Her speech was cut off by stabs around her waist, sharp and unforgiving. Followed by the sound of something zipping up. Then Milly’s noise of satisfaction. “There. It’s done.”

“Thank God,” Kallen said, wondering how Milly could be such a masochist as to enjoy such a thing. “This is why I don’t wear dresses.”

“But Kallen, you look so pretty!” Milly insisted. “Look in the mirror!”

She pulled back on Kallen’s shoulders, turning her so that she could stare at her reflection, one of a stranger. The gown was tight-fitted, cascading down and around her legs, the sequin-covered fabric shimmering under the light as it ran up her arms to her shoulders. A heart-shaped cut around her chest and two slits by her waist exposed her skin to the night air. It was sleek, elegant, and likely cost no less than a fortune.

She hated everything about it. “Thanks, Milly, but I feel like a sausage stuffed in casing.”

“You mean a tasty sausage!” Milly gushed. “Imagine the look on his face when he sees you!”

“I’m not trying to impress him.”

“Why not?” She peeked around the side. “Maybe you’ll be having his kids someday!”

“What?! That’s not—”

“My, you’re red as a tomato,” Milly said, concerned. “Do you need more foundation? And where is your eyeliner?”

“Oh, no,” Kallen replied hastily. “I don’t wear makeup.”

“Are you serious?” Her mouth dropped as she drew back, her ballgown of lavender bouncing up and down. “Never?”

“No. I hate dressing up all fancy.” She looked out the tall window, the Academy grounds slowly coming to life as guests poured in. “Can we head out now? I just want to get this over with.”

“But of course!” Kallen made a noise of complaint as Milly seized her hand and dragged her out the door, her heels begging her to slow down. “Your knight in shining armor awaits!”

“I told you, I’m not—”

Her voice caught in her throat. He was waiting out in the hallway (no doubt impatiently, by the way he was frowning), his back leaned against the wall. His hair was swept back, his suit tailored perfectly to size. Made entirely of black, with wreaths of gold trailing down the length of his coat. A white bowtie sat below his neck, just above the black shirt resting inside. Under the light of the street lamp, shining through the window, his features were impossible to ignore. She could see the angle of his jaw, the blue of his eyes.

She realized with a start that she was stammering. “Y-Y-You—“

“Hm?” He looked up. And, to her surprise, saw him do the same thing. “W-Wow. You…you, uh…”

“‘_Look beautiful!’” _Milly eagerly whispered on his behalf. “That’s what you meant to say, right, Gino?”

He had to blink twice before clearing his throat. “Um, actually, what I meant to say was—”

“I’ve seen better,” Kallen interrupted, smirking. “You look tacky as hell.”

“And you look outdated.” He scoffed. “Who wears a dress with a heart around their cleavage?”

“Excuse you!” Milly fumed. “I’ll have you know I picked this dress myself!”

“Really? Were you trying to sabotage her, ex-president?”

“Of course not!” She made a _ harumph _noise as she moved to block him from Kallen’s sight. “Don’t listen to him, Kallen.”

“Way ahead of you.” She gently pushed Milly aside as she walked over. She extended her hand to him. “Shall we get this over with?”

“You’re the one who said yes,” he pointed out. “Gotta admit, I’m surprised you agreed.”

“Me too. Don’t let it get to your head.”

“Careful, Kallen,” he said, his lips curling into a grin. “It’s too early in the night for me to get burned.”

She rolled her eyes. “Are you going to take my hand like a gentleman, or not?”

He chuckled as he wrapped his fingers around hers. “My pleasure, _ Miss Kozuki.” _

“Perfect! Now you’re both ready!” Kallen nearly tripped as she felt a firm hand press down on her back, eagerly pushing them down the hall. “Now get a move on! The festival is starting soon!”

“Alright, alright! We’re going!” She stumbled over her feet as she held onto Gino, grasping at his hand for dear life. Why did she agree to this again? Better yet, why would anyone _ choose _to walk in heels?

“Aw, what’s wrong?" Gino said. "Doth the lady require assistance?”

“You’re _ such _a prick,” Kallen muttered. “Can’t believe I’m doing this.”

His laughter, as much as she hated to admit it, made her feel slightly more comfortable as they opened the main doors and descended down the steps, soon to be swallowed up by the crowd. “I’ll take it.”

* * *

“Lelouch?”

Suzaku gently pushed the door open before peeking into Ruben Ashford’s abandoned office. The room was dark, the lights turned off. In the center sat a wooden desk and an old-fashioned armchair. A massive rug, white and furry, covered the wooden floor. At the end to his right was a towering bookshelf, standing beside an antiquated record player. Opposite of him was a wall made of glass, and he could see Ashford on the other side, the streetlights sprinkled through the campus grounds like stars. 

He took one step in. “Lelouch, are you here?” he said. Dust tickled his nose, giving him the urge to sneeze. Bastard must be out of his mind. Why stay in here when there was his perfectly clean bedroom next door? “The opening ceremony is starting soon. Are you ready to—“

He stopped. Was that a groan he had heard, just now? His eyes roamed over the room a second time. “Lelouch?”

There it was again. He moved further in, taking care to make as little noise as possible. And almost sprung back, for what he had mistaken as part of the chair was actually a body, slumped over on the desk. A mound of dark hair was spilled across the tabletop.

“Lelouch!” Suzaku closed the distance. “Hey! Lelouch!”

Lelouch’s hand feebly scratched at the table. Slowly, he rose up, a stranger to the world around him. “Mmph...Suzaku?” he managed to sound out. “Is that you, Suzaku?”

“Yes, it’s me.” Suzaku placed one hand on his shoulder, searching him over. “What happened? Are you alright?”

“Hm?” Lelouch fell back in his seat, the life in him nonexistent. And let out a massive yawn. “Nothing. I feel asleep.”

“Huh? You...you what?” Suzaku said. “Fell asleep?”

“Yeah.” He watched Lelouch attempt to rub the sleep from his eyes, the cuffs to his sleeves dangling open. “Why? Am I late for something?”

Suzaku stared at him. There were no injuries on him, nor blood. He really _ had _been sleeping in this horrid office the entire time. In his suit, no less. As if they were kids again, taking naps in the sun by his window. “Not yet,” he said. “But the festival’s about to start. I came to check on you. When you said you wanted some time to yourself, I thought you’d be...I don’t know, getting prepared or something.”

“Ah,” Lelouch mumbled. “Right, right. The festival. Can’t be late for my grand entrance.”

Suzaku took a step back. “You seem awfully excited about this.”

“I am, as a matter of fact. I haven’t been to one since Milly’s heartbreak pageant.”

“Because you died.”

“Exactly. That ordeal was awful enough, so what’s the worst that could happen tonight?” Lelouch rose to his feet. “They torture C.C. in front of us and commit mass genocide?”

“Yes.” His sense of humor was questionable, at best. “That’s the literal worst that could happen.”

“Tch.” Lelouch rapped his fingers against the desk. “You heard what Kallen told us. This is a night for festivities, and royalty will be in attendance. They wouldn’t tarnish their image. And they don’t expect us to either. I’d say we have the element of surprise.”

“Don’t be too sure about that,” Suzaku said. “You don’t know what Cornelia is capable of. Or Schneizel. Or Zero.”

“I know what I’m capable of,” Lelouch answered, more than a little haughtily. “That’s more than enough.”

He turned on his heel before Suzaku could respond, making his way to the record player in the corner. With care, his fingers traced down the brass pavilion, as if coaxing it to relax. “Tell me, Suzaku,” he said, before delicately lifting the needle, “do you know how to dance?”

“Dance?” _ Why ask this now? _“No, not really. I never learned how.”

“Hm.” Lelouch spun the turntable, watching it cough up a cloud of dust. “Well, that won’t do. How do you expect to be my partner for the ball then?”

Suzaku shot up faster than the Lancelot launching from its hangar. “I’m sorry?”

“You heard me,” Lelouch said. It sounded like he was smiling, though Suzaku could not tell from afar. “Tonight, I will be making my entrance as the previous 99th Emperor of the Holy Britannian Empire. And everyone knows an emperor can’t be seen without his knight.”

“B-But,” Suzaku stammered, “I thought Kallen would be escorting you. After all, she—”

“Will be hiding in the crowd,” Lelouch finished. “We spoke it over. It’s best for her to blend in and be on the lookout. Besides,” he continued, the cheerfulness draining out of him, “I have reason to believe she’s found someone.”

“She has?” Suzaku said. “I had no idea.”

“It doesn’t matter.” He turned back to him. “I’m asking _ you, _Suzaku. You may not trust me, but I'm willing to trust you. You are my knight. My guardian. For tonight, would you be my partner as well?”

_ My partner_. The words swept through him, almost knocking him off his feet. Never had he expected to hear them running off his tongue. Directed towards him. He knew there was a desire strong enough to move mountains under that cold facade, but it had always been for Nunnally. For world peace. Not for him. 

Not for Suzaku, the accursed Knight of Betrayal. The one whom Lelouch had once hated with every breath.

_ It’s only for tonight_, he harshly reminded himself. _ A formality. A favor being asked of you. Don’t get ahead of yourself. _So convincing was the voice in his head that he did not notice the look in Lelouch's eyes, begging for him to say—

“Yes.” It came without question. A response to a command from his king. “As your Knight of Zero, I would be honored.”

Lelouch's smile was crooked like his morals, and one that Suzuku knew like the back of his hand. “That’s what I hoped to hear,” he said. 

He turned towards the shelf. His fingers leafed through a small box on the third rung. There must have been over twenty discs inside, Suzaku realized, their existence forgotten over time. Lelouch seemed to stiffen, stuck in indecision, before lifting out a volume. Across the room, Suzaku could just make out the title in cursive: _ Clair de Lune. _

“I suppose this will do,” Lelouch said. “It’s no Tchaikovsky, but…”

He flipped the case open, lifting the disc by his fingertips as he balanced it on the turntable. Upon giving it a spin he pressed the needle down. The first notes of the piano, calm yet powerful, reached Suzaku’s ears. Before long the melody had found its way, tiptoeing with ease, eager to share its story. “Wow,” he breathed, swept in their grip. “That’s…”

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Lelouch turned back to him. There was joy in his expression, and it only served to lift Suzaku more, as high up as the highest octaves. “I heard this once.” 

“Where? When?”

“Long ago. Marianne loved a piece that was, in her own words, ‘special’.”

_ Marianne_. Not “Mother”, nor “Mom”. After the World of C, Lelouch had been clear to refer to her by name only. There was a strain of anger associated with it, and only Suzaku was aware of how Lelouch despised being tied to demons with no hearts to speak of. And why Lelouch had become one himself, for whose footsteps should you follow in if not those of your parents?

It took him a moment to notice Lelouch was still speaking. “Shostakovich, Strauss, they all tended to bore her after a while.”

Their names soared over his head. “Right.”

“Hm.” Lelouch chuckled as he made his way to the front. “Why are you so far away?”

“What do you mean?”

“We’re dancing, aren’t we?” He gestured to him. “Come here.”

“Oh. Right.” Stumbling, tripping over his doubts, Suzaku hazily made his way over, the ache in his legs forgotten. “But Lelouch, I don’t know how to do this. I told you, I can’t dance. At all.”

“Then I’ll show you," Lelouch said as he got closer. "It’s not that bad.” 

They were soon standing inches apart on the massive rug, the stars framed behind Lelouch in the sky. Under the soft light, Suzaku could see the delicate line of his jaw. The hollowness to his cheeks. The dark circles, carrying burdens beyond the strength of his shoulders. He had never been one to be considered ‘handsome’ per say, not even by the schoolgirls at Ashford, for Lelouch had always lacked the charming charisma, the modelesque physique. And yet, there was a certain quality to him that was indescribable, one that was uniquely his own. An ethereal grace behind the madness.

And now it was asking to be his.

“Suzaku.” His palms were cupped together as he lifted them up. “Will you waltz with me?”

The smile that filled his cheeks, the tiny leap in Suzaku’s chest, was undeniable. He placed his hands in his. “Yes, Your Majesty.”

With care, Lelouch began to move. Slowly at first, then picking up speed, instructing Suzaku on how to follow. Gradually, he came to realize that Lelouch had lied to him. It was not bad, but terrible, and far more confusing than Suzaku had once thought; the socialites at Britannian gatherings had made it look so _ easy_. He could barely wrap his head around the rhythm—_one, two, three, _as Lelouch murmured in his ear, nonstop—let alone follow his movements. 

“Where did you learn this?” Suzaku asked, frazzled. The way Lelouch moved was so _ effortless, _his every step poised and graceful. And here he was, fumbling. Father would have been furious to see him so easily upstaged.

“I learned how to waltz when I was growing up,” he said, the strands of Lelouch’s hair brushing his cheek. “Marianne made me try out every hobby in existence. Violin, ballet, calligraphy. You name it, and I had a tutor for it.”

“Wow. You can do all of that?”

“Some.” Lelouch grinned. “I didn’t say I stuck with them. Most lasted no more than a week.”

Suzaku swung back clumsily, watching Lelouch somehow follow in his footsteps. “You do have a knack for losing your patience,” he said playfully. “Remember when we used to play in the river?”

“I do,” Lelouch said. “I always won.”

“Because you cheated. You were supposed to close your eyes, then chase me.”

He scoffed. “What matters is who comes out the winner. Besides, that game was annoying. It took too long.”

“That was kind of the point.”

“Hmph. If you say so.” Suzaku stepped to the side, and he followed suit. “You’re actually doing quite well, you know.”

“I am?” Suzaku said. “I feel like a bumbling monkey.”

“It’s typical for beginners. But I can tell you’re balancing on the balls of your feet, and that you’ve got a sense of rhythm.” Suddenly he moved in, his head nuzzling up against Suzaku’s shoulder. “I can feel it in the way you move,” he murmured into his chest.

Suzaku felt something blossom from where Lelouch was touching him, leaving him in a daze. “That’s...ahem, that’s not possible. And you know it.”

“Shh. Let me have this moment.”

And so Suzaku did, the two of them slowing to a calmer pace. They twirled in tandem, like two bound snowflakes falling through the sky. He closed his eyes, wishing that the music would play on beyond its final notes. That the only worry on his mind was when they had to stop dancing, and when Lelouch was no longer in his arms.

“Suzaku. Look at me.”

He did as he was told. Lelouch was watching him. Not a mark of crimson to be seen. “Tell me something, Suzaku.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Something I’m not already aware of. Something about you. I’ve grown weary of predicting where our days will go. I wish to hear something less unpleasant.” He leaned in to Suzaku’s ear, his whisper competing with the crescendo of the piano. “Surprise me.”

Suzaku couldn’t hold back his smile. _ Nothing new, huh, Lelouch? _“Anything?”

“Anything at all.”

He came to a stop as he searched through his thoughts. “Well,” he began. “I, uh...I like to cook.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I don’t tell people because, well, I’m not that great at it.” Clumsily, he continued their waltz. “When I was a kid, I’d steal vegetables from the cabinets. My dad hid the knives, so I’d wash them in the river and peel them with rocks. Then I’d cook them out back.”

“Where the fire pit was,” Lelouch realized. “I remember. We used to tell stories at night.”

“And play with the fireflies. Yes,” Suzaku added warmly. “They usually turned out inedible, but that didn’t stop me. I wanted to be the best chef Japan had ever seen.”

“How have I never seen you do this? I lived with you.”

“I only did it when he was asleep. You were asleep then too, and Nunnally. But not me.” His mouth twitched slightly. “Eventually Father found out. He was mad at first, but then he taught me a few things so I’d never do it again.”

“Wow,” Lelouch said. “I had no idea. Do you still cook?”

“Sometimes. I did for Nunnally. If she didn’t like it, I’d tell her I got the recipe from you.”

“Wha—hey!” There was a hint of color in his cheeks. “I’ll have you know I was an amazing cook! I was head chef for multiple banq—”

“Lelouch, relax,” Suzaku said. “I’m kidding.”

But it must have came across wrong, for Lelouch’s voice cracked as he exclaimed, “Kidding?”

“Uh...yes?” Suzaku tensed up, completely forgetting to step on beat. “Sorry. That was a joke. I swear.” _ Did I go too far? Did I ruin it? _“Really, Lelouch, I wasn’t being serious. Your cooking is—”

“No,” Lelouch said. There was something different in his tone, but Suzaku could not place his finger on what. “No, it’s not that.”

“Huh?”

“Hey, Suzaku.” He came to a stop. “You should spin me.”

Suzaku’s eyes widened. “What?” he said. “Are you sure? But I don’t know how.”

“It’s simple. On my cue, draw me in and place your arm above my head, like so—” he gave a mediocre twirl in Suzaku’s arms “—and pull me close to you.”

_ Pull me close to you. _“Oh. It’s literally a spin. I thought you meant what ballerinas do.”

“You mean a pirouette?” Lelouch said, trying to hold in his laughter. “No. It’s not that.”

Suzaku let out a huff. The way Lelouch spoke to him when he was aware of something he wasn’t. Slightly condescending, and full of amusement. He used to hate him for it when they were younger, and even more so as they’d grown up together. Lelouch vi Britannia, the boy who cried after scraping his knees. Lelouch Lamperouge, the slacker who slept in class, yet passed with flying colors. Emperor Lelouch, the conquer of worlds.

_ Lelouch. _

“Sure,” Suzaku said, trying to sound nonchalant. As if his pulse were not racing, and the thought of holding him was not sending him into a sweat. “If you want to, I’ll do it.”

“Perfect. Then wait for the piano to hit its climax. On the count of three, I want you to throw out your arm while holding on to me.” His grin was almost enough to wipe the instruction from Suzaku’s memory. “Ready? One...two..._three!” _

A knight following command, Suzaku flung his arm out. And watched in awe as Lelouch traveled along the path he had set, reaching across the rug, his fingers grasping for the sky before twirling back, a figure of grace against the moonlight. He slammed gently into Suzaku, falling back and settling into the shape of his body, their arms crossed around him. 

A peal of laughter left his lips. “Oh, I’ve missed this,” he said breathlessly. “Dancing like this. And look, Suzaku. The moon is reaching full phase tonight. It’s beautiful.”

He raised his chin towards the sky, at the gleaming circle in the black ocean. But it was the last thing Suzaku was paying attention to. “It is,” he murmured, unable to look away.

“Hm?” Lelouch turned to face him, and made a noise. “Suzaku...have you been staring at me this whole time?”

“Oh.” Now _ he _ was blushing too.“Er. Sorry. I—I didn’t mean to.”

“You…” Lelouch began, then stopped. The distance between their lips was small, enough for Suzaku to mistake Lelouch’s breath for his own. “You’re embarrassing.”

The distance widened as he pulled back. “Embarrassing?”

“Look at you,” Lelouch said. “It’s incredible.”

“Incredible?”

“Yes.” He turned back ahead as he nestled into Suzaku’s arms, easing into their embrace. “You keep saying I’m no different. That I haven’t changed.”

“Well, you haven’t,” Suzaku said. He held him close as they began to sway ever-so-slowly, like flower petals in the breeze_. _“You’re no different than before.”

“Perhaps,” Lelouch mumbled, “but _ you _have.”

“What?”

“You’ve changed, Suzaku,” he said. There was a warmth to his voice, and it sounded more melodic than the harmonies pouring out of the record player. “You’re not who you used to be. Haven’t you noticed?”

“Not really, no,” Suzaku said. “In what way?”

“You told a joke,” Lelouch said, as if it were the most profound discovery. “A few days ago, you apologized to me.”

“So?”

“Don’t you see it? You actually care_._”

“I wasn’t like that before?”

“Don’t flatter yourself. Did you forget already?” he wondered. “After Euphemia? The FLEIJAs? You were no more than a shell, Suzaku. Especially near the end. A walking corpse, waiting to die.”

“Ah.” Suzaku moved in closer, unable to resist. “To be fair, it was hard with nothing left to live for.”

“Imagine how it was for me,” Lelouch said. “I couldn’t recognize the boy I used to—”

But he stopped. Stiffened under his touch. Right as Suzaku did as well, his breath caught in his throat._ Used to...what? _

As if he had detected something wrong, Lelouch came to a standstill. And pulled away. Breaking free from Suzaku, leaving him cold. Luckily he did not have to wait long—slim hands fell on his shoulders as Lelouch turned back to him. “Suzaku,” he said as he faced him, the moonlight dipping under his jaw, “hold me, won’t you?”

He swallowed past the curiosity in his throat. “Yes. Yes, I will.”

He looped his hands around Lelouch’s waist and pulled him in. They were no longer waltzing, for Lelouch was almost pressed up against him now, close enough to put his experience in the Lancelot to shame. His fingers were digging into his shoulders, his eyes holding him in place as it forced his heart to beat faster, to the point where Suzaku thought it might burst from his chest.

“Don’t you know?” Lelouch mumbled. “I thought…”

“Thought what?” Suzaku said, becoming more numb by the second_. _“I don’t know anything.”

“That you knew how much you meant to me. How much I care about you. Why else do you think I keep worrying?”

“Wait, are you telling me you—”

“I thought you knew! That this is—”

“This? What is ‘_this’?” _

“Something more. I don’t know, like—”

“Wait, stop, stop,” Suzaku urged, his grip tightening. “This isn’t going anywhere. We’re both rambling. Badly.”

He had caught Lelouch with his mouth wide open. Slowly, it fell closed. “Look at us,” he said, unable to meet his eyes. He chuckled. “We’re quite a pair.”

“You could say that,” Suzaku said. The notes of the piano were growing faster as they chased after one another, like falling stars across the night sky. “Lelouch. Look at me.”

He spoke it softly as Lelouch turned his head up. Suzaku could see the curve to his lips. The swinging strands of hair. The intricate pattern of his collarbone. And asked, “What was it that you wanted to say?”

“I…” Lelouch began. Then stopped, the seconds long enough to push Suzaku to the brink of madness. “I think you know what I meant to say.”

“How would I know?”

“Because,” Lelouch said, “You were my first friend. You know me better than anyone.”

“Lelouch.” Ruben’s office had disappeared. All that remained was purple, hidden behind black, reminiscent of lilacs. The slightest scent of sandalwood. And above all, the sweet musings of the piano. “Are we friends?”

“Yes,” Lelouch said, far too focused on the emblem on Suzaku’s chest. “We are. Though, as I'm sure you've realized, I think of you as more than just some friend.”

“Then...a knight? And his Emperor?”

“No, you idiot.” His hands moved up, his arms circling around his neck. “Do you still not see it?”

For a moment, he wondered whether this was all an elaborate joke. “See what?”

Lelouch’s gaze finally met his. “Suzaku Kururugi.” His lips were close—unbearably close—the heat of his body making Suzaku flush. His blood pump faster. The sight of him was almost dizzying, a pale beacon of darkness in the light. Too familiar. _ His Majesty. Lelouch Lamperouge. Lelouch vi Britannia. _

_ Lelouch. _

“My Suzaku." It sounded like a chimera, the way his name left his lips. "The one I missed. The one I thought I lost forever.”

_ My Suzaku. _If he wasn’t sure before, he certainly was now. His heart swelled as the words slipped out, as if they had a mind of their own. “I’ve missed you, too.”

He could not resist pulling Lelouch closer as their lips closed the distance and met. _ Lelouch. _He was kissing Lelouch. His childhood friend, the other half of him, the one he hated. No longer out of desperation, but from an ache nestled in the corners of his heart, longing to be freed. But it was the feeling of Lelouch returning the kiss that broke something inside. Made him moan softly. A wave of yearning, overpowering and bittersweet, washing over something that had long since withered away.

He did not want to pull away. The music was gentle in his ears, and so was Lelouch, his lips warm with no intention of drifting. _ I’m kissing him. _ And Lelouch was kissing back, with a tenderness Suzaku didn’t know he possessed. Slowly, they moved back and forth to the music, his mind wandering into uncharted territories as he lost himself in him. The way he tasted like scalded tea leaves, subtle and slightly bitter. How his fingers were traveling up the back of his neck, pulling slightly at his hair. He responded just as eagerly, his hands whispering unspoken thoughts as they moved along the small of his back. _ How I’ve missed you. _

Against his will, he pulled back. Lelouch was gazing up at him, with such warmth in his eyes that Suzaku thought he might dissolve in his arms. “So,” Lelouch began, his voice husky, “this is how you feel.”

“I’ve always felt this way.” He leaned forward, his forehead touching his. He brought up his hand, and slid his thumb down Lelouch’s cheek. Felt him shiver. He murmured, “But I had no idea about you.”

“I told no one. Least of all you.”

“Why?”

“I did not want you to think I was overstepping boundaries,” he said. “To break what was already so fragile.”

“What do you mean?”

“We’ve been through so much together. Euphemia. Zero. Geass. I didn’t...I wasn’t sure if...”

“I know. But you should have. Our time was already limited.”

“Perhaps.” His chest heaved as he let out a sigh. “Better late than never?”

“Definitely better.” Then he was kissing him again. Freeing the voice inside, his heart sighing in relief. Years of fleeing in fear, of isolation, were falling away like shadows to sunlight. Lelouch responded accordingly, melting into him, his fingers sliding down to his chest. The movements were awkward, the marks of inexperience belonging to one who had never engaged in such intimacy. But what he lacked in expertise he made up for in tenderness, his hands soft as spider silk as they caressed over his body. Comforted his wounds. Indulged Suzaku in a way no one other than Lelouch could.

“Lelouch.” He mumbled his name against his lips. “This...this is…”

“Wrong? Uncomfortable?”

“More like strange.” His eyes drifted down to Lelouch’s collar. _ When you get down to it, I’m no more than a sinner. _“Because I don’t want to stop. Even now.”

Why was Lelouch's smirk so _ irritating? _ “And how is that strange?”

“I mean, look at us. We’re in Milly’s grandfather’s office.”

“And there’s a festival waiting.” Lelouch pressed his lips back to Suzaku’s. They were inviting and gentle, like drops of rain after a long drought. And pulled away too soon. “You’re right. We should start getting ready. The last thing we’d want is for someone to walk in on us.”

“Right.” The disappointment was slight, but he couldn’t hide it. “There’s a lot going on tonight, isn’t there?”

“Nothing we haven’t done before,” Lelouch said as he withdrew himself. He made towards the record player, still caught in song. “I only hope that Nunnally will—”

“Lelouch, wait.” Suzaku grabbed for his hand. “Before you go.”

“Hm?”

He reached forward and pulled him in before Lelouch could object, his arms wrapped tight around his waist. “Thank you,” he murmured as he held on, afraid of letting go. Of losing him again. “For trusting me like this.”

“Suzaku?” he said. “You’re not getting soft on me, are you? Whatever happened to hating my guts?”

“If you keep ruining the moment, I will.”

“There, there.” He reached up, softly patting the mound of hair on Suzaku’s head. “We have all the time in the world for sappy confessions after this is done.”

“Don’t jinx it,” Suzaku muttered. “Please don’t jinx it.”

“You really _ have _ changed.” He turned to the side, and gave Suzaku a single kiss on the cheek. _ My childhood friend. My Emperor. But now…now, he’s…_“Was the dance lesson that good? Did you enjoy it, my bumbling soldier?”

_ Now he’s still annoying as ever. _ “It was wonderful, _ Your Majesty.” _

A chuckle escaped Lelouch as his fingers found their way back into his, holding tight. “Are you ready then, Suzaku?” Even from behind, Suzaku could see the smirk borne from devilry. “I hope you’re prepared. Tonight is the night it all begins.”


	15. You Will Know His Name

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At last, we’ve arrived!
> 
> So sorry for the delay—I wanted to make sure I got the anatomy of things correct (I may or may not have stared at a picture of Ashford while writing this), and ran into a few personal issues/a bad case of writers block. This is also my longest chapter by far, as I wanted to make sure everything was included.
> 
> Regardless, I hope you all enjoy. Thanks for the patience and for sticking it through to the end (for now! :) )

_"You can't change the world without getting your hands dirty." — Lelouch vi Britannia_

* * *

Once again, Rivalz scanned over the storage room, his conscience resting on pins and needles. “Are you sure about this, Milly?” he said, wringing out his hands. Even the crates seemed to be spying on them. “What if he finds out?”

“Sure I’m sure! And will you keep your voice down!” She did the same, eyes wide in the dark_. _“He won’t find out. We just have to be extra careful.”

“But this is Lelouch we’re talking about,” he whispered. “He’s, like, a complete genius. He once aced a test without studying!”

“That doesn’t make him a genius,” Milly said, snorting. “And no amount of smarts will help him now. It’s not like he can teleport across campus, can he?”

“I mean, I guess not.” He shifted uneasily, close to toppling a stack of boxes. “But...I dunno, Milly. I’m not sure about this.”

“Hey. You were the one who wanted to keep an eye on him.” She leaned in, her face almost pressing against his. The scent of perfume, cloying and artificial, left his head swimming. The fact that it was Milly offered no help. “Are we doing this, Rivalz?”

“Uh...yeah.”

“Okay. No turning back now. Repeat the plan to me again.”

“Okay, okay!” He swallowed. For someone so sweet, she sure could be scary when she wanted to be. “Lelouch said he’d hide until the address, right? So once he’s in the crowd, I’ll scope him out. Then you and the reporters can put him on blast. That way, he'll be exposed to the world.”

“And?”

“And then we’ll call security. With Lelouch under hostage, Suzaku will have to listen. We’ll bring them to whoever’s visiting—they'll take care of it.”

“That’s right!” She moved back, smiling. “Good job, Rivalz! I didn't expect much, but you’ve got it to a T.”

But for once, her charm did nothing to ease his nerves. He shook his head. “I feel bad about this, Milly,” he confessed. “They’re our friends, aren’t they? I mean, Lelouch said so himself. What if he meant it this time? Are you sure we’re doing the right thing?”

He expected a retort, for Milly to drag him through the mud for being so gullible. Instead, her smile vanished as she released a sigh. “I know,” she mumbled. She sounded tired. “I don’t like it either. I really, _ really _wanted to believe him.”

“But?”

“But it’s either them or this school. And I won’t let them trick us again. I won’t risk it.” Her expression changed, shifting into something almost unrecognizable. Gone were the swelled cheeks, the exaggerated batting of eyelashes. She looked exhausted, and resolute, and...and…

_ Scared. She’s scared too. _“I...I don’t want to do this, Rivalz. But we have to.”

“Yeah.” His face fell, dragged down into the shadows. “Yeah, I guess we do.”

* * *

“Whoa!” Gino’s voice was anything but subtle. “Kallen, have you tried these?”

“No.” She grimaced at the tray of appetizers, a pasty color of beige, the spinach inside trying to escape from prison. “Do I want to?”

“Trust me, you do.” He popped another into his mouth, then lifted the tray to her face. “They’re incredible!”

“Uh, I’m good.” She turned away. Aside from the questionable hors d’oeuvres, the evening of the Lantern Festival had been a smooth walk to tread. The Ashford backcourts had been undoubtedly decorated with care, the benches and greenery wrapped in colored lights. Picnic blankets lay hidden under families. Even here there were more people than expected; Lelouch was not lying when he said the whole city must have heard. So numerous was the headcount that she could barely see the white sidewalks, the divided sections of grass. Some faces were old, others were new, but most were familiar, especially those of her class. A few wore casual attire, but the majority were decked out in fancy dresses and suits, an attempt to flaunt the wealth hanging from their family trees. 

_ Guess Rivalz must have gotten his act together. _It all seemed so normal, hearing them laugh. Exchange words and plates. Sip on glasses of wine. Where were the security guards? The promised visitors from Britannia? 

She spun in a circle. _ I know they’re here, _ she thought, the desperation wearing her thin. _ Where are you, you god damn— _

“Uh, Kallen?” A gloved hand came into her vision. “Hey, Kallen? You there?”

“Oh! Uh, yeah. Sorry.” She tore herself away from a suspicious-looking group, exchanging whispers in the corner. “I’m here. What’s up?”

“Well, you’re not eating anything,” Gino observed. “Do you wanna do something else?”

“Sure.”

She let him take her hand as he headed for the monument in the center, the heart of the cross. “Wait, where are we going?” she asked.

He shrugged. “Just figured I’d get you away from the commotion.”

“Huh?” she said. “But this leads back to Ashford. The back entrance is up ahead.”

“That’s not where we’re going,” he answered, tugging slightly harder as they marched past. “I’ve got an idea. You haven’t seen the front lawn yet, have you?”

“No. Is that your idea?”

“Just trust me.”

“And why should I do that?”

“Because,” he said as he gave her a wink, “I’m the one you’re holding onto. Unless you wanna _ accidentally _trip on your heels.”

She nearly tripped regardless. “You wouldn’t.”

“Nah. I’m just teasing.” They had made it out of the field, the lamp post guiding their way. His suit seemed to glitter under the light, matching the glint in his eyes. “C’mon, this way.”

She made a _ hmph _noise as she gave in, following him up the stairs and around the academy, their path blocked by barons and students alike. Twice she thought she had spotted Lelouch, a snippet of black hair that made her heart stop, but it was no more than her mind playing tricks on her. She hated it, that pit of unease. There was too much at stake and even more that could go wrong. And where was Schneizel? Cornelia? 

“Penny for your thoughts?” she heard Gino ask, as if from far away. “You’ve been...awfully quiet.”

“Maybe I just have nothing to say to you.” 

“Ouch. Even after I saved you from _that?” _ He jerked his thumb back. “Unless you enjoy noisy crowds. And burnt spinach.”

“I thought you said it was incredible.”

“It wasn’t. I just wanted to see you try it.”

“Ugh.” She briefly scanned the windows overhead, only to be disappointed. _ Lelouch, where are you? _“I hope you know this isn't my idea of fun.”

“Don't worry, we’re almost there.” He rounded the corner as he spoke, and nearly crashed into another lamppost. “Whoa! Never mind, we’re here.”

“Huh?” She could see the main entrance to the academy now, the square pools a short distance away. A massive black stage was lodged in front, surrounded by spotlights and students urgently running about preparing for the address. Off to her right were steps to the central court of Ashford, a sea of grass divided by paths of white. Tabletops surrounded the central walkway, covered in boxes of paper lanterns, waiting to be set free. The field was already littered with families and nobility, waltzing to music from the trees. 

For a moment, she forgot where she was. “Wow,” she whispered. It was her first time seeing it in person, how the council had set up. How _grand _it all was. The garlands of flowers (though why would anyone go with blue hydrangeas?) leading down the steps. The arches enveloped in fragments of colored light. And how everyone looked so happy. Like the area had never been ravaged by war. Like the haven her mother had always dreamed of. “Gino...it’s beautiful.”

“It sure is. You can blame yourself for that.” He glanced at her, smiling. “You did a great job planning, miss Student Council.”

The flush in her cheeks better have been her imagination. “Shut up.”

“C’mon, what are we waiting for?” He motioned to pull her forward. “The people are already dancing.”

“Wait, we’re dancing?”

“Well, yeah. It’s a festival, isn’t it?” She had to lift her dress with one hand as they descended the steps, like some princess tugged along by her prince. _ A peasant, more like it. _“You know how to dance, right?”

“I do,” she said, somewhat proudly. “I used to practice with my brother in the backyard.”

The arches winked at her as they walked onto the grass. “I didn’t know you had a brother,” Gino said as they made their way in, further east.

“I did. Have a brother.” Luckily the lighting was dim enough to hide her expression. “He’s been gone for a while.”

A small pause. Followed by, “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It’s fine. It happened years ago. You don’t have to pretend like you care.”

“I do.” Hearing Gino _not _act a fool was strangely off-putting, in a way. “I’m sorry you lost him. That’s a tough thing to go through.”

“Yeah, it was.” They had reached the edge of the field before Gino came to a stop. She saw him swivel back, and suddenly found herself closer to him than expected. Something fluttered in her chest. His body was warm, and the way he held her was bringing up thoughts. Embarrassing thoughts. And she used to loathe that smirk, but now... “But, er, I mean, do you have any siblings?”

“Nope. Only child.” Gently, Gino began to swing her, the violins guiding their every step. The grass was soft, and she probably would have fallen ten times over, were it not for his sturdy grip. “Does that surprise you?”

“Not in the slightest,” she remarked, though it lacked its usual sting. “Are you close to them? Your family?”

“I mean, I guess you could say that.” He looked into the distance. “My mom’s always been there. She’s taken care of me most of my life.”

“But your dad?”

“Never got to know him. He left when I was young.” There was something wistful in his tone, a once-colorful palette smeared with gray. “Might’ve been when I was two. Or three? I don’t remember.”

“Oh.” She sputtered the word without thinking. “Gino, I...I had no idea.”

“I mean, how could you?" he said. "It’s not like I tell people this.”

Her fingers dug into his shoulder. “Then why are you telling me?”

“Good question.” His eyes were missing their usual humor. Brimming with something unfamiliar. “Guess it means I trust you. Just a bit.”

Her lip curled up. “Didn’t I prick you in the neck?”

“_Stabbed _me in the neck,” he corrected as he stepped—effortlessly, Kallen hated to admit—to the rhythm. They scraped past another couple, a whirlwind in slow motion. How did they manage to move so elegantly? “Before you left me to bleed to death in agonizing pain.”

“How tragic.” She glanced away from the ocean of dancers to the academy doors. Expecting them to swing open at any moment, and for chaos to overcome the night. Then at the trees in single file lines. The school buildings. Even the night sky held—_n__othing. There’s nothing. _Could it be that Lelouch had changed his mind? That Britannia wasn’t trying to burn things to the ground?

“Okay, I’ll bite. What’s going on?”

“Huh?” She found herself face-to-face with Gino’s scowl. “Did you say something?”

“I said, what’s going on?” he pressed. “You’ve been distracted all night. Are you expecting something?”

“Uh, no.” 

“Look, I can help if you want,” he said. “But you gotta tell me what’s going on first. 

“Nothing important.”

“Come on, Kallen. We both know you’re terrible at lying.”

The noise she made was nothing short of embarrassing. “You—”

“Hey, am I wrong?” His shoulders lifted in a half-shrug. “I just want us to have a good time. No point in being here if we can’t enjoy ourselves.”

But before she could craft a suitable comeback, she heard a jarring cry. A high-pitched gasp, followed by whispers, as everything seemed to screech to a stop. Then another. Accusations being thrown, along with a scream or two, feeding the wildfires of panic. Not from the academy entrance, but from behind her: near the metal gates.

She knew the answer before she saw it. A head of black hair, next to brown. White, accompanied by black. He stood straight in all his regality, as if their symphony were a testament to his might.

“So.” Gino released her to face the commotion. “He’s finally arrived.”

“So he has,” she said, also pulling away. _ Here we go. _“Lelouch.”

* * *

“Careful,” Suzaku heard Lelouch mutter. “Don’t drop your guard, or they’ll strike.”

“Who’s they?” Suzaku responded out of the corner of his mouth. Expressions of disgust. Horror. Women recoiling into their partner’s arms, burying themselves out of sight. _ Nothing I’m not used to, _he thought; his years of being Suzaku had desensitized him to the most visceral signs of fear. “I don’t see anyone who could be a threat.”

“Exactly,” Lelouch said. “They might be hiding." He nudged Suzaku in the hip. "And stand up straight, won’t you?”

“Oh, uh...right.” The arches were but a short distance away, putting the stars to shame. “So what now?”

“We do as planned,” Lelouch said. “We dance.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” he wondered. “They look like they want to burn us at the stake.”

“Because they do.” Lelouch moved closer to him, their shoulders brushing. “Look, Suzaku. The fear. The surprise. It’s all going according to plan.”

“You never mentioned _that _part of the plan,” Suzaku said, wondering whether death had refined Lelouch's sociopathic tendencies to a sharpened edge. Not that it would have surprised him. This was the same man as _ Zero, _after all. “This...this doesn’t feel…”

“Right?” Lelouch pulled forward, and the crowd shrunk back. As if they were Nina in the Ganymede, about to detonate the FLEIJA. “It isn’t. Rarely is the path to freedom spared from acts of cruelty.”

“You’re doing that thing again.”

“Hm?” At that, he slowed. “What thing?”

“Talking like a pretentious madman,” Suzaku answered. He stared at the Academy looming tall, ignoring the whispers begging for his head. “Now’s not the time. Consider the situation.”

“That,” Lelouch said snarkily, “might be the best compliment you’ve ever given me.”

“It’s not meant to be one.”

“Details, details.” Lelouch faced him. “Shall we dance then, Suzaku?”

“Huh? Here?” He whipped his head back and forth. “Just in the middle?”

“Look around us.” He gestured to the side. “Does it seem like we have another option?”

Suzaku paused. “I guess you have a point.”

“Of course I do. Come.”

* * *

“M-Milly!” Rivalz squeaked into the communications device. He dodged to his right, narrowly avoiding a collision with an _awfully_ pretty student (Miya, he believed her name was?), his head buried in his coat as he scurried into the trees. _ Shit. Shit. Shit. She’s going to _kill _me. And if not her, then they will! _“They’re here! Lelouch! And Suzaku!”

A crashing noise came from the other end. “What?” shouted a distressed Milly. “But why? They’re not supposed to appear until the address!”

“I dunno!” He wiped sweat off with his sleeve as he snuck behind one of the thicker tree trunks. Then peered around the side. Helpless to watch as the two of them marched down the aisle. Like nothing in the world could stop them. “What should we do?" he asked. "Should we go with the original plan?”

“No.” Milly’s voice was firm. Something strange had to be taking place, for Rivalz could hear crackling noises. “That’s exactly what they want.”

“Huh?”

“Think about it, Rivalz,” Milly said. “Why else would they walk out now? They must have a reason.”

"Like what, Milly?"

"Not sure," she said unhelpfully. "Maybe they're trying to make a statement? You know how Lelouch can be."

“Really? ‘Cause I don’t think it’s working.” As if on cue, a young couple dashed into the trees, the schoolgirl ducking under her arms as she screamed. “Did you hear that? Everyone’s scared out of their minds.”

“Yes! Like I said, that’s exactly what he wants!” Milly said with fervor. “And why we have to do something!”

“But what can we do?” He wrapped an arm around himself, trying to quell the rising panic. “Are you seeing this, Milly? Oh God, what should we—”

“Yes, Rivalz, I can see them. I can see everything. I told you before, I’m on the rooftop!”

“What?” He squinted at the clouds. It was hard to tell, but now that she mentioned it, he could just distinguish something, or someone, on top of the residential wing. Tall shadows, blocking the moon. The more he focused the more people came into form, surrounded by square pods on stilts. “Wait, I think I see you. Are you standing on the east wing with a bunch of reporters?”

“Finally, you see us!” One of them was jumping and waving. “But that’s not all—look to your left. On top of the west wing!”

He did as he was told. His jaw dropped. “Wait,” he said in awe, “are you telling me that’s—”

“Mhm. I told you they’d come.”

* * *

“Britannia.” Lelouch spat the name out as if it were thistles in his mouth. “I see them.”

“What?” He felt Suzaku stiffen first before he began to tremble, itching to survey their surroundings. _ Idiot. Don’t let them know we found out. _“Where? I don’t see them.”

“Rooftop. Northwest,” he answered under his breath. “Don’t make it obvious.”

There was a moment of silence. “Got it,” Suzaku confirmed. “On top of the academy wing.” 

“Mhm,” he said. “Are they watching us?”

“Yes,” Suzaku answered gravely. “I can see Cornelia. Schneizel. A handful of knights, no more than a dozen.”

“Nunnally?”

“Nowhere. If she’s here, then she’s not with them.”

“Tch,” Lelouch muttered. “Of course she wouldn’t be.”

“So,” Suzaku said as they approached the first archway, “what’s next?”

“Nothing's changed. We do as planned,” Lelouch said, though it was easier said than done. _ Don’t look_, he told himself. How he wished to wipe them clean, the stains of irreverence on his conscience. But it was of no matter—they could watch, if they so chose. They would learn. And they would remember his name until their last breath.

_I’ll find you, Nunnally. Wherever you are. _

Suzaku flashed him a curious look. “You mean, we’re still just going to dance?”

Lelouch responded by holding out his hand. “Take it, Suzaku," he said. “The spotlight’s on us. They’re all looking at you.”

It took a few seconds—and quite a bit of staring at Suzaku’s end—but he ended up placing one hand in Lelouch’s, his touch delicate. “I don’t think they’re staring at me,” he said as they proceeded ahead. Under the hanging lights, his hair was more golden than brown. “I think they’re staring at you.”

Lelouch chuckled; under different circumstances it might have sounded romantic. “At _us_, then.”

They had reached the second milestone, a beacon of bowed grace. At Suzaku's nod, Lelouch drew himself close. His chest came in contact with Suzaku’s crest. His fingers looped around his. “Follow after me, Suzaku," he commanded, hoping that he sounded more like an Emperor than an eager schoolboy. "Like we practiced.”

“Alright.” The hesitation was there, but only slightly, and Suzaku seemed fit to push the rest of his misgivings aside as their waltz came to life. Lelouch followed in step, making sure to guide Suzaku in time, aware of the stiffness to his body. How he _just _caught himself before stumbling. His movements were more steady than fluid, a stream within a sea of tides, the awkward gait undoubtedly that of a soldier's. And his suit was doing him no favors, the navy cashmere restricting his already limited repertoire to a simple step routine. 

But above all else, it was Suzaku. For Lelouch, that was more than enough.

As Lelouch gave in to the music, his eyes fell closed. Shades of white and gold danced in unison, worshipping their chaos. From the sideline came noises; a pack of sheep without a shepherd. Gasps, murmurs, and whispering of their names like a blasphemous crime. Their empty (or so he hoped) threats tangled through the air, like dust on the wind, searching for a foothold in their sanctuary.

_ But no one’s coming. _ Just as expected—they may be scared, but they were also fascinated. _ If there’s anything people love, it’s an entertaining show. _And they had no reason to fear, for the shepherd would come. He would make sure of it. 

“Why are you grinning like that?”

“Hm?” Lelouch broke out of his thoughts to see Suzaku watching him. “I’m what?”

“You’re smiling really wide. Like this.” He gave an exaggerated grin. “It’s unsettling, to be honest.”

“Oh.” Guess he wasn’t as subtle as he thought. “It’s nothing.”

“Is it because of me?” he joked, stepping to the side. The colors of his coat were stark to the light surrounding them. It served to make Suzaku more distinct, and Lelouch more aware of the absurdity of it all. Of Suzaku, in his arms. With him. “Am I that good of a dancer?”

“No,” Lelouch answered honestly. “You’re only slightly above mediocrity.”

He swung Lelouch extra hard that time. “You know, it’s strange.”

“What is?”

“Even though you’re testing my patience, all I can think about is how I wish this was real.”

Lelouch blinked. “Is this not real?”

“Not to me. It’s not how I imagined it to be.” He gestured with his chin. “Not with so many people wishing us dead.”

“I don’t see how it’s any different than before,” Lelouch pointed out. His shoes made no noise on the pavement, though Suzaku was loud enough for the both of them. “Nothing is owed from noble intentions. And the pains of being a symbol, of being a hero...it carries its weight in evil. One we cannot win.”

“The pains of being a hero?”

“You know it as well as I do,” Lelouch said wistfully. “Think of what we lost.”

"But that wasn’t enough,” Suzaku said. “It's never enough.”

“Yet that didn’t stop us.” The grin was back. “We must hate ourselves.”

“Not just ourselves, but each other. Hated the world for what it stole from us. But we still did what we could to save it.’

“And each other.” He pulled back to see Suzaku fixated on him, his eyes dark with intent. _ This is real to me. You’re real to me. _“Do you trust me?”

If Suzaku was surprised by the question, then he hid it well. “You know it’s more complicated than that.”

“I do. But if we’re to make it, I need your faith in me to be sound.”

“We’re already here, aren’t we?” Suzaku pointed out. It almost flew past Lelouch, for he was growing ever-so-slightly dizzy, though whether it came from the waltzing or the fuzziness in his head, he did not know. “I’m willing to go as far as what you told me. You have a promise to keep.”

“So, you believe that I will keep it.”

“I can only hope.”

“Good.” Either they had decided to turn the speakers down, or things were getting harder to hear past the blood in his ears. _ This may have been a bad idea. _“We...We, uh, we need to be there soon. At the stage. I have a distraction planned just in case.”

Lelouch wasn’t sure if it was intentional, but he felt Suzaku’s lips brush his ear. “Like what? Should I kiss you or something?”

“No.” _I’d be the most distracted. _“Could you imagine the headlines if they saw?”

“I remember those on the day of the Requiem,” Suzaku answered as he spun him. “‘Demon vanquished by Hero of Japan.’ ‘Zero saves us all—long live the Man of Miracles!’ And everyone believed it.” 

“As they should have,” Lelouch pointed out. “What else was the Requiem for?”

“Maybe,” Suzaku said, “but it took you from us.”

At that, Lelouch could think of nothing to say. He buried his face in Suzaku's shoulder. What was it that Kallen had said? That the Requiem had been selfish? But it had been designed for the world’s sake. For Nunnally. If that was still selfish, then…

“Lelouch,” Suzaku began. “I think they’re planning something.”

“What?” He scanned both sides and saw daggers. Of course_—_they were nearing the end of their fuse. Some had pulled out their phones, the cameras flashing red. Others seemed to be at wit's end, bracing themselves for something drastic. Not a single warm expression in sight. Especially not the one he had been searching for. 

He slowed to a stop. “We’ll be fine,” Lelouch said with a nod. They had reached the last arch, the stairs up ahead. White, grand stepping stones leading to the stage. _I should’ve known it would start here, _ he thought. _ At home. _

“Let us begin the second phase.” He gently squeezed Suzaku’s hand. “Are you ready?”

His eyes met his. “Yes.”

* * *

“Look at them just dancing,” Gino spat out. “The hell are they thinking? Are they insane?”

Kallen said nothing, frozen in place. The way Lelouch was holding him. The way Suzaku snuck glances when Lelouch was distracted._ Is that why? _“Gino,” she said, hardly able to form the words, “I don’t...I’m not sure…”

“Kallen, come on.” A hand shook her by the shoulder. “We have to do something. We can’t let them get away with this. Whatever it is they’re about to do.”

“Right. Right, yes.” Gone was Ashford, the tuxedos and ball gowns. Gino, too, felt beyond reach. “We have to do something. Lelouch. We have to.”

“Huh?” He whirled to her. “Hey, Kallen. What’s gotten into—”

“Hold on.” She pointed, almost striking someone in the shoulder. “They’re moving ahead.”

“What?” He made an irritated noise. “Damn it. Don’t tell me they’re going up to the stage.”

_ Going up. _ That's right, she thought, as Lelouch’s plan came rushing to realization, knocking her back to her senses. “Of course,” she whispered to herself. Her fingers clawed at her dress, the sequins scratching her palms. “That’s why he wanted this.”

“What _ who _wanted?” Gino demanded under his breath. “You knew about this?”

“No,” she said. “I don’t know what he’s planning.”

“But you knew he’d be here.” The accusation was a knife held to her chest. “You knew and didn’t say anything?”

“Will you keep _quiet!_” she hissed. A handful of students had turned around, bewildered. She immediately pressed a finger to his lips. “I’ll explain later," she whispered in his ear. She could practically feel the barrage of words behind clenched teeth. “Just follow my lead, okay?”

His glare spoke on his behalf.

“You don’t have to trust me,” she added hotly. Her head darted back and forth, but no one was paying them any further mind, their attention seized by a fear so thick it could have dulled any blade. “But at least hear what I have to say. You owe me that much, at least.”

His eyes widened slightly. He gave her a nod. She drew back, and not another second passed before he let out a low whistle. “Damn, Kallen,” he muttered, as he ran his hands through his hair, “I knew you were crazy, but this seems like much.”

“For me, it’s not.” She attempted to peer above the multitude of heads. She could just make out Lelouch and Suzaku, nearing the end of their course. _ Of course. Lelouch, I should have known. _

“So, what do we do?” Gino said from behind. The playfulness had returned to his voice, almost soothing. “Are we just gonna let them walk up there? Or are you gonna explain what’s going on?”

“I told you, I don’t know,” she said. “Like you said, I’m a terrible liar.”

“So he also left you in the dark,” he observed. “Thought he would’ve revealed more since you guys are...y’know. Friends.”

“That means nothing.” He was trying to rile her up, she could tell. Worse—it was working. “I’m not involved in his schemes.”

“Great.” He took a step forward. “In that case, you won’t mind if I do something about it.”

“What?” She lunged out, right as he made to leave her behind, the golden threads on his sleeve wrinkling under lantern light. “Wait, hold on—”

“Knew it.” His voice was light, but something was missing when he turned back. She held her breath. His eyes—their warmth had all but vanished. “I knew you were involved. Don’t know what I expected.”

She tugged again, harder. “No, Gino. Don’t do this. You don’t know what’s happening.” 

“That’s exactly what he said.” He jerked his head towards Suzaku, partially hidden behind pinned up hair curls. “And now look. Not gonna fall for that again.” 

“That’s not—”

“You see anyone else doing anything? They’re all scared shitless. No security either.” He shrugged her off. “But none of that matters. ‘Cause it’s _ Lelouch_. Right, Kallen?”

“Gino…”

“I knew I shouldn’t have counted on you.”

Something inside of her froze into ice. “What?”

But he was already gone before she could follow up. Carefully, he weaved past a duchess in a large gown. Then not so carefully past a male student. His mouth ran excuses as he maneuvered through couple after couple, throwing formalities to the wind. Kallen, much to her dismay, was losing him as she sped after him. “Wait, Gino!” she cried, her hands pulling up her dress. She had to stop him before it was too late. Before Lelouch did with something worse.

“_Lelouch!” _

Whoever was shouting, it came from behind. Reluctantly, she spun back. And saw Villetta sprinting in her direction, not bothering to spout _any _excuses as she pushed aside anyone in her way. “You’re not getting away with this!”

“Villetta?” Kallen said, dumbstruck, the thought of Gino slipping out of her mind. “Damn it, why now?”

“Kallen?” She sounded just as surprised as she slid to a halt. “What are you doing just standing around?”

“Nothing!” It was the worst possible alibi, and she knew it. “I was dancing. With Gino. But he, uh, had something to take care of.”

But Villetta did not seem interested in whatever Gino had to take care of, for she waved Kallen’s words aside. “Do you not see what’s going on?” she said. “He’s back! We have to do something!”

_ Oh, God. _The cards were stacking up too quickly, on the verge of crushing her. “Uh,” she began, “well, it’s more complicated than that.”

The look Villetta gave her could have broken glass. “Complicated?”

Kallen swallowed. “Sort of, yeah.”

“You...are you saying you’re helping him?”

“No!” The hairs on the back of her neck stood up as she noticed them turn around, their stares landing on her. Gaping at her. _ Shit_. If they turned on her now, she would be rendered useless. Worse, she could end up a hostage. And with the way Villetta was glaring at her, she’d lose a lot more than just her relationship with Gino. “No, it’s not that!” she continued. “I’m just—I’m saying we shouldn’t jump to conclusions. Think this through for a second!”

“You’re kidding.” She had her knees bent, her fists curled. A gust of wind blew her jacket open, her ponytail dancing behind. “I’m not letting you get in my way, Kōzuki. Don’t make me tackle you down.” 

Kallen sucked in a breath. “You’d attack a student?”

“To stop him?” Villetta said. “Yes. I’ll do whatever I have to. Especially if you’re helping him.” She shook her head in disgust. “I’m disappointed, honestly. I can’t believe I ever counted on you.”

“I,” Kallen began, “am so _ sick _of hearing that.”

“Enough. Move, or I’ll make you move.” Then she was barreling towards her at full speed, a Knightmare braced for impact. “This is for your own good!”

Caught unawares, Kallen stumbled back. Her body tensed, her dress flowing. Except it was not flowing enough, the sequined fabric having wrapped around her legs, leaving her wide open for Villetta to charge into her and slam her onto the grass, knocking the wind out of her.

“You know,” Villetta said in between pants, “I’m surprised, Kōzuki. You’re a fighter, aren’t you? I thought you’d wear something more reasonable. Less tacky.”

Kallen felt her jaw clench. “For the last time, _I didn't pick this."_

She shot up, her skull colliding with Villetta’s. She heard a gasp of pain as she rolled to the side, the grass scraping her cheek, and swept her arm out. And felt something, her fingers managing to latch onto Villetta’s wrist. With a jerk, she sent her tumbling to the ground. 

Villetta snarled as she made to get up. “You little—”

But Kallen was already in motion, her grip never loosening as she rolled back and shot up. Her knees caught her by the hips, her hand twisting Villetta’s arm behind her back while she seized the other as it clawed at the grass in an attempt to escape. “Sorry, coach,” Kallen said as she brought them together and forced them down, locking her in place, causing Villetta to cough out grass amidst the slew of curses. “But I have to do this.”

“Are you kidding?” she gasped out. It felt like Kallen was trying to hold a fish with her bare hands. “Do what? Help _ Lelouch? _ You were there! You saw the things he did!”

_ She’s right. _ The thought came to her slowly. She was pinning an instructor to the ground. On the night of the festival. While Lelouch merrily made his way to the podium, causing madness wherever he so chose. _ He was a monster. Still might be. So why am I helping him? _

“Maybe he is.” Was she speaking aloud? “But you don’t get it. Lelouch...there’s more to it. A lot more.”

“A lot more?” Villetta repeated as she struggled. “Who the hell are you? Did he use his Geass on you? Have you been helping him all along?!”

Kallen opened her mouth to answer, but something interrupted her train of thought. And before she saw Lelouch, before she saw students rushing to tear her off of Villetta, she saw black and gold moving towards the steps, brandishing Lelouch’s name like an act of treason.

She cursed as well. “I forgot about him.”

* * *

“_Lelouch!” _

Suzaku thought he must be hearing things. “Gino?” he said, right as he witnessed the soldier breaking through the frontlines. With one hand, he knocked a table over. Boxes of lanterns were sent tumbling. He staggered into the aisle, his exhaustion a candle to the flames of resolve. 

Suzaku blanched. “How did he—where did he come from?”

“Hey!” Gino shouted out, his hands around his mouth. “You really think this is gonna work? Huh? You think we’re just gonna let this happen?!”

“Damn it.” How did he not see this coming? “What is he thinking?”

“Suzaku,” he heard Lelouch say urgently, “the stage is right there.”

“He’s coming for you,” Suzaku mumbled, afraid to break gaze for a split second. Gino was kneeled over, panting, his hands on his knees. It would not last long, Suzaku knew. “I can hold him off. If he comes after us—”

“You’re not going to fight him,” Lelouch spoke with finality. “You’re injured, aren’t you?”

“Do you have a better idea?”

“You’re not doing this.”

“_Lelouch.”_

“I said, _ no.” _ Lelouch’s glare could have burned down the city. “I told you after what happened on the farm. I won’t allow it.”

But Suzaku shook him off. “You’re wasting time. Go. I’ll deal with this.”

His face cracked. “For God’s sake, can’t you—”

“So that’s how it’s gonna be, huh?” Gino straightened up. “Even you, Suzaku? Whatever happened to doing the right thing?”

A flurry of words sought to escape his mouth, none of them too kind, but Suzaku held back. “I’ll deal with this,” he muttered again. One hand flew to his belt, reaching for a sword that did not exist. “Lelouch, go.”

“Still? Have you lost your mind?”

“I know what you said. But we don’t have a choice, do we?” When he looked back, he saw Lelouch flinch. As if surprised by what he found in Suzaku’s expression. He wondered what it could be. “Do what you have to do.”

“Suzaku…” Lelouch said to the back of his head. “You’re choosing to trust me?”

The question sounded raw, a plea without hope. But Suzaku chose not to respond as he walked away. Gino was also making his way forward, his hands in his pockets, his walk slow and steady. As if he were planning to bore Suzaku over which girl had caught his eye. Or drag him by the ankles to Death's door.

“You told me—told _us—_you’d do the right thing,” Suzaku finally answered, his voice thick, wondering whether Lelouch could hear him. “Promise me you’ll stay true to your word, Lelouch.”

He did not expect much. A roundabout excuse, at best. But his apprehension was short-lived, for Lelouch was quick to respond soundly with the words he once gave up everything to hear: “I promise you, Suzaku.”

There was no further subtlety to Lelouch’s movements—shoes slamming on concrete as he raced his way up, as fast as someone of Lelouch’s physicality could move. It was enough to make Suzaku grin. 

“Just like old times,” he murmured. He and Gino, squaring off in the crumbling hall of Damocles as Lelouch hunted for Schneizel. Their only thread of hope, stretched taut, yet somehow sturdy enough to survive. _History always repeats itself._

“Suzaku.” Gino had shortened the distance from yards to feet. His hair was rumpled, the braids limp on his shoulder, almost blending in with his suit. His expression was empty. “Tell me why, first.”

Suzaku stared back. “Where do you want me to begin?”

“I gave you a ticket out. This is how you chose to use it?” He scoffed. “You spoke of honor and doing what’s right. How could you stoop to this level?”

“You still don’t get it, Gino,” Suzaku said with a twinge of sadness. “You speak of honor like it’s only one thing or the other. But it’s never so black and white. You should know that by now.”

“No. I guess it isn’t.” For a moment, Suzaku saw something take over, a hardened soldier giving way to a schoolboy. “You ever wonder how things could’ve been? If none of this ever started?”

“I do.” _ More than you know. _ “I could’ve been a student here. Had a regular life. Shown up and explained myself, instead of living the worst possible lie.”

“Sounds like a pipe dream.”

“No warfare. No suffering.”

“No Lelouch, either.”

“No Lelouch,” Suzaku agreed. The thought, to his surprise, gave him a sliver of comfort. “It’s what we fought for, you know. That idea of peace. Both of us.”

“I almost want to believe it.”

“Is there any way I could convince you?” he said, holding back the urge to comfort him. Gino, the fool who cracked more jokes than Suzaku could count on both hands. The soldier who jumped in to shield his comrades, forging a path for his country. Almost a younger brother. _ You were one of my first friends, Gino_, he wanted to say. _ No one else would accept me in the Knight of Rounds. Except you. _“Anything, Gino,” he pleaded. “Please.”

It was hard to miss the clash of morals on Gino’s face. Suzaku could see it written around the corners of his mouth, the way his shoulders broke steady. An eternity came and went before he looked up, his eyes hardened. “There is,” he said, removing his hands from his pockets. Whatever decision Gino had made, Suzaku could tell that it was set into stone. “You can get out of my way.” 

He rushed forward, right as Suzaku noticed the switchblade in his hand, catching the light from above.

* * *

“For Christ’s sake,” Lelouch gritted out as he rushed up the steps, “can something go right for once?”

He ignored the storm of hydrangea petals by his feet as he reached the top. The stage was but a short distance away, before him. A digital screen hung down the back, large enough for the world to see, the spotlights trained on the microphone in the center. There was no one around, not even the students from before. _ Good. _ The less distraction, the better. He only needed a few minutes, and then the stage would be set.

He glanced to the side and saw only pavement. “That’s odd,” he said, his eyebrows furrowing. “They should be waiting. Where could they be?”

But he did not have the chance to think long. Following his thought was a group of Britannian guards storming around the corner, their weapons drawn. They locked in on him. “Halt!” one cried as they sprinted to surround him, cutting off his escape route, the lance aimed straight for his head. The guard wore a cover over his eyes, hiding the one vulnerability Lelouch had to his advantage. Not just him—all of them. _ They knew. They knew I was coming. _“Not a single move, Lelouch vi Britannia. Surrender, now!”

“What?” His eyes ran back and forth, like an animal cornered before slaughter. “You...you were waiting for me? Just to corner me like this? Is this some sort of joke?!”

“Not a joke, Lelouch.” To add insult to injury, he saw Kaguya—_Kaguya, _of all people to predict his plan—step out from behind, the same shield protecting her. From her body hung her pink dress, secured with a red bow, the two pieces grazing the concrete. He didn’t need to see her eyes to witness the disappointment. “You made a mistake in showing yourself tonight.”

“Kaguya…” he rasped out, his hand clutching at his suit as if it were armor. “You knew? All along?”

“Yes, Lelouch. I know why you did it,” she added. There was no anger, the solemn acknowledgment more distant than the mountains. “Over a year ago. Even now, I don’t want to fight you. Come with us. This isn’t how things have to end. We can find a way, I’m sure.”

“Absolutely not,” he spat out, well aware that he was burning the only olive branch he would ever receive. “If you know why I became Emperor, then you would know why I’m doing this now. Why I have to.”

“Your methods…” she began, before shaking her head. “Don’t you see it, Lelouch? There are better ways. There _has _to be. Don’t make the same mistake twice. If peace is what you aim to achieve, then let us extend a hand instead of a weapon. A rule by tyranny is no rule at all. You know that.”

“You don’t understand.” The situation was so ludicrous, he almost wanted to laugh. She dared pity him, now that he was cornered? “You don’t understand what I’m doing. At all.”

She flinched. “Lelouch—”

“In the end, you’re still just a child.” A pang of guilt struck him, but it passed quickly. If he was to die, he would rather die a martyr by his own rules than to falsities of grandeur. “A wise woman like you should know better than to support false hope. Is that the best you can do?”

“I…” Her voice tapered off. He could see stars in the jewel on her forehead as it lowered. “Very well. So this is how it ends.

“Kaguya,” he said slowly, “you don’t know what you’re doing. You’re letting this world fall into the wrong hands. Can’t you see it? You’re in the UFN; you must be aware.”

“Maybe,” she said, “but I’d rather be in those hands than yours.” Her head snapped up. “Submit, Lelouch. Or we’ll have to use force. I don’t wish to start a fight here if I don’t have to.”

Whether to his luck or misfortune, Lelouch was spared from responding as wisps of smoke began pouring out of the ground. A steady trickle, almost naked to the eye. Then rapidly swelling into geysers, rushing forth. Pouring out of the walls of Ashford. The very pools of water, it seemed like, as pods of gas exploded and the fog swarmed his senses on the snap of a finger, thicker than the lies he was guilty of speaking. 

He coughed, his vision obscured, the guards and Kaguya having vanished into the endless gray. “What?” He gasped, trying to shield his eyes. Blindly, he spun back and forth. There—he could see the stage above, calling out to him. He stumbled forward—he had to reach it before Kaguya did—as he heard screams rise behind him. Around him. People trying to seek shelter, like a terrorist attack gone wrong. _ Why. Is. Nothing. Going. Right. _“Now what’s—”

He felt strong hands seize him, gripping his shoulders. “Got you, prince,” a voice snarled in his ear. “You’re ours now.”

* * *

“Milly! I did it!” Rivalz stuffed the remote control back into his pocket. “You were right—the smoke still works. Good thing we saved the machines from last festival!”

“I told you to save it!” she said eagerly. “Hm, seems like we’re missing the bubbles though. Are you sure it’s the same gas?”

“Uh, I think?” The realization that he forgot to check came up, but he quickly stowed it away. “Doesn’t matter. With everything going on, they’ll get Lelouch for sure.”

“And once the smoke clears, we’ll start filming. If they see Lelouch being handled by security…"

“They’ll have hope,” he finished. “And Suzaku will probably give up. Everything will work out.”

“I can’t believe it, Rivalz,” Milly said. “We outsmarted Lelouch. _We outsmarted Lelouch!_ Why didn’t we do this to begin with?”

“It’s weird though,” Rivalz brought up as he peered out from his hiding spot. Shadows were running amok, the cries of pandemonium blending as people sought out their families. Their partners. _ Oops. _They should have considered that before resorting to plan B, he supposed. “You’d think Lelouch would’ve seen this coming. Maybe he’s lost his touch?”

“I’m not complaining." He heard a clicking noise. “Alright, we should be ready. As soon as the smoke clears, give me a heads up and we’ll start!”

“A-Alright!” He could hardly wrap his head around it. They would stop Lelouch. Ashford would be saved. The festival would forever be a reminder that they, the student council, had taken down the Demon Emperor. Not that there wasn’t guilt to be found—he still missed his friend, the old Lelouch, dearly—but that friend seemed gone for good, and he treasured his home more than a friendship riddled with questions. “I think it’s clearing, Milly!”

“Perfect!” More clicks and shutters. A strange beeping sound, which he assumed to be cameras switching on. “I think we’re good to go!”

His assumption had been correct—the smoke was thinning for sure. The people, too, were slowing down. “Hey, Milly,” Rivalz brought up as he toyed with the branches overhead, watching the smoke curl around the leaves, “what're you guys gonna do with the footage, anyway? After showing it to the world?”

“What do you mean, Rivalz?” Milly said. “It’s all for His Majesty, of course! Proof of his glory!”

His hand stopped. “Huh? What did you say?”

“There he is, Rivalz!” Her voice was eager, but something about it sounded eerily smooth, like a canvas wiped clean. Like she was being controlled from afar. Like..._Nina_. “There he is now!”

The dread was back. Twice as overwhelming as it was cold, shooting through his nerves. The branch snapped in his hand as the smoke gave way. A scene worse than any nightmare, for this was real. Really, really real. _But_ _we had him. We won. _“Milly?” he said. “Are you there? What’s happening?”

“So, this is what it’s come to.” Lelouch’s voice was harsh, his smirk cruel. The spotlights shone brighter than the white of his suit. A gun was propped to Kaguya’s head as she struggled in his arms. “Thank you, Ashford. I could not have wished for a warmer welcome.”

* * *

“Your Majesty.” The guard walked up to him. “Shall I hold her for you?”

“No need,” Lelouch dismissed, more than certain of their loyalties, the crimson hiding their pupils. “I can handle her.”

“Lelouch…” Kaguya gasped out, her tears sparkling under the light. “You cruel, insane—”

“Come now, Kaguya.” He tapped the barrel to her head. She jumped in his arms. “That would imply I’m a madman without direction. I assure you, I have a plan. I am Zero, after all.”

“I can’t believe it.” Her fingers pawed at his sleeve. “I thought you might have changed. That you would have learned from your wrongs. But you’re the same. No more than a demon.”

“Trust me, I have.” He gazed out at the field. A part of him was registering that Kaguya was speaking again, but he chose to ignore her. They were watching him. The _world _was watching. Who was he to disappoint? 

He grinned. “It is an honor to be graced at such an event,” he continued. “To all who are watching—I have returned. Risen from the dead, as it seems. Lelouch vi Britannia, the 99th Emperor of the Holy Britannian Empire!”

His declaration was a trigger, the dawning of their collapse. They began clutching onto one another, like broken promises trying to be whole. A few were sobbing. Someone was begging for him to release Kaguya. Another was calling for the guards to _come to their senses. _All attempting to wield their wishes like a gun lacking ammunition.

It felt oddly familiar, though not any less tragic.

“Look what you’ve done, Lelouch.” Once again, Kaguya was speaking, albeit this time with anger. “You call this justice?”

“Is it any different than before?” he mused softly as he watched them cower. “The Requiem achieved the same purpose, and with much more bloodshed. You approved of that, didn’t you?”

“Not the means by which you achieved it.” She stared straight ahead as she spoke. “You can’t see past your own hypocrisy. And you consider yourself a hero?”

“No,” he said, his gaze naturally traveling to someone kneeling at the stairs. Green eyes and soft hair, the color of chestnuts. He was bleeding—were those _cuts _on his face?—and his expression was just as Lelouch had feared. Tearing at the strings of his heart, nearly cutting them loose. “It wasn’t me who considered himself a hero.”

Before it could haunt him further, he cleared his throat. “You’ve given me more than I can ask,” he said into the microphone. “Now, I have a path towards the future.” He pushed the gun into her head and heard Kaguya cry out. “I’m sure our head of the UFN would agree.”

“Lelouch!”

The voice came from Villetta, standing in a clearing. Kallen was next to her, seized by a group of students, their hands over her mouth. Restraining her. Her dress was torn in multiple places, and Villetta was holding something to her throat. Something sharp. “Step down, or she’ll take the fall!”

“Kallen.” Were it not for years of hiding emotions, everything might have fallen apart then and there. “_Damn it.” _

“Lelouch,” Kaguya said furiously. “Surely you can see that this is hopeless. What do you hope to achieve by turning the world against you? Again?”

“You’ll see, Kaguya.” Something inside of him flared up_._ _Not like this. _“In time.”

He could hardly keep his voice steady as he addressed her with, “Coach Villetta. You would harm one of your students?”

“To stop _you,” _ she exclaimed. “To end your plan before it starts. Before you destroy the world again!”

“So you’re dirtying your morals to...what? Make a point that I have none?” He shook his head. “Harming one of your own—is that not what you criticized me for? And a student, at that. What makes you think you’re any better?”

She hesitated, the shard of glass dipping. “T-That’s—”

“You’re correct, Villetta,” he pressed on. “I am trying to destroy this world. To stop this false”—he waved the gun around—“thing you call peace, sullied behind closed doors. The corruption, the greed, the lies; I will see that they are brought to light.”

He turned back ahead, trying to wipe Kallen’s expression out of memory. Villetta was all talk, he knew, but that was of no comfort. If there was one rebellious rat, then there was bound to be another. He had to snuff out what resistance was left. Quickly.

“But I’m not the only one,” he said. “Defy me, if you want. Perhaps you’ll listen to him.”

He gave a slight nod. From behind came the flick of a switch. The monitor buzzed to life, the emptiness filling up with color. Static coalesced into a solid image. Gauging by their reactions, his hopes were confirmed as he heard the monitor announce—

“_I am Zero!” _ The image cleared to reveal the mask, as revered as he was cursed. “_People of Japan. Of Britannia. Of the world. You will listen!” _

* * *

“It can’t be.”

If Suzaku were not already kneeling, he would have fallen to his knees. Gino lay beside him, knocked out cold, the knife a few feet away. Blood poured out of more than one wound, but he felt nothing. The adrenaline was gone as he sank, a corpse in the ocean, oblivious to the rising panic of the night. “How? But that’s not…he said he was just…”

“_I am saddened.” _ The voice was warped, like twisted steel. “_I see countries hidden behind false smiles. Hands being shaken, the same hands that gave birth to cruelty." _The mask spoke like Lelouch. It moved like Lelouch. But it could not be Lelouch. Unless— “_For the lives that were lost. For ending his reign of terror. To see that my sacrifice has been wasted...I will watch no more. The charade has gone on long enough!” _

Zero buried its mask within a hand. _ “I cannot remain a witness while this world crumbles. I see now where the path to freedom lies. For only demons see truth in evil as angels fall naive to grace.” _

Suzaku let out a strangled noise. The same pretentious nihilism Lelouch had preached to him before, even as kids. _ But it can’t be. _ He had promised he wouldn’t turn on them. On his home, on Ashford, on Kallen_. _This had to be some trick. All of this. 

But if so, then why was the mask still _talking? _

_ “Watch those around you. Question the rulers who claim to protect you. For the enemy is not who it seems.” _ Under the spotlight Lelouch’s face was expressionless, but Suzaku could see the sparkle in his eye. No more clouds. Nothing hidden. _“Nor is it Britannia. Japan. But those who lie in the shadows, laughing as we suffer. Who cast aside the weak to consort with greed. The ways of old run prevalent, but I refuse to give corruption a voice to be heard.”_

The figure spread its arms wide. _ “Change begins here. With us. If you believe in the oppressed, you will stand by our side!” _ it cried with fervor._“You will reach past the web of lies to seek the truth. You will stand with us for a better world. For tomorrow!” _

_ For tomorrow. _ The last words ran circles around Suzaku’s head as the image fizzled out, a blank screen. Leaving their wishes trampled on the courtyard. Wind brushed through his hair, making rounds through the graveyard. The silence was only broken by their whimpering.

Followed by—_nothing_. 

Time must have stopped, for it was quieter than Euphie’s memorial. Lelouch’s execution. As still as the sound of his heartbeat, as if it had come to a complete stop. Until, the voice of Lelouch as he declared, “So.”

Suzaku looked up. Lelouch was there, the gun pressed to his cousin’s head. “You’ve heard from your messiah. The die has been cast.” Suddenly, he grinned. Under the spotlight, he looked paler than his own corpse. “Not even your savior can say otherwise. So what will you do, people of Ashford? Of the world? Who will you turn to now?”

More silence. Suzaku already knew what awaited. The lack of protests, of cries for help, spoke all he needed to know. And he was one of them, helpless to watch as Lelouch added another sin to his collection. As if his word to Suzaku had meant so little compared to the thousands running through him now, crushing him in the maelstrom.

“We cannot.” It came from somewhere to his right. He no longer had the strength to look. “W-We refuse. You’re a tyrant, Lelouch. A monster!”

The protest was followed by people agreeing. More dissents. It slowly grew, a wild beast being fed. Chants began to rise, mingling with false threats, as they collectively spoke out against Lelouch. Nobles and students, old and young. He could hear footsteps gathering, a mob prepared to drag Lelouch to his execution.

Weakly, he looked up at the roof. _ They’re still there_, he realized. Cornelia, Schneizel, and their pack of guards. Standing silent, spectating, passive to the shifts in course. But why? Why come, if not to encourage or halt the festival? Why watch their people suffer at the hands of their brother?

“Suzaku!” He could see bruises on Kallen's neck as she kneeled by him. “Are you okay?”

He blinked. “Are you?”

“I’m fine.” She gently shoved him aside to get a better look. “Jesus Christ, did you knock him out?”

“I had to,” he said. “He was going to kill me.”

“I’m not accusing you,” she said as she placed two fingers on Gino’s neck. She sighed in relief. “I would’ve done the same. He’s such an idiot. I’m sorry if he hurt you.”

But Suzaku was too far gone to consider her apology. “Kallen,” he mumbled, like a lost child stumbling in the dark, “what do we do? There’s no turning back. And Lelouch, he…”

She drew back. “I don’t know.” 

“You don’t know?”

“They might kill him at this point.” Blunt as always. “And I’m not sure if I should stop them, or join them.”

Hesitantly, she looked up towards the stage. The horror that sprung across her face was immediate. “_Shit.”_

“What is it?”

“No way. Not after what he told me.”

“What?” He followed her line of sight. And felt everything come crashing down, just like the day Lelouch had awoken. “No,” he strangled out. “He wouldn’t...he said he wouldn’t. He _can’t. _”

“_Bastard.” _ Kallen said it as if she regretted every decision that had led to this point. “I should’ve known.”

* * *

“Take her away, won’t you?”

“Yes, my Lord.” The guard approached him to take the gun, then Kaguya. She cried and kicked as they carried her off, similar to a struggling Viletta in the distance. And if her final words of “_Lelouch__, how could you?!” _managed to lodge themselves in his chest like shards of glass, then he told himself it was only his imagination.

Weary, he watched through half-closed eyes as the citizens formed a half-circle, hoping to trap his mutiny under siege. He exhaled. Despite the road bumps, everything had gone according to plan. But strategy could only carry so far, and the battle was now his to lose. Only by moving Heaven could he sow the conditions to call checkmate.

_So be it, then._

“Shall we fire, my Lord?” Another soldier came up. “They seem to be losing their senses.”

“No,” Lelouch said, watching them gather.At least with spoiled nobles, it had seemed fitting to resort to corruption. But to do this to commoners, to innocent students...

He shook his head. “I’ll handle this.”

The soldier nodded and drew back. Absentmindedly, he raised one hand. The same that had played chess with Schneizel. Flipped through fairytales for Nunnally. Gripped Zero’s mask with his last breath. 

_ You know, I’ve always thought I was no more than a sinner. _ He could still remember Suzaku’s words from a night on Jeremiah’s farm. A conversation between friends, the hanging stars, and the feelings hidden dormant. _ Maybe that’s all I’ll ever be. _

“Perhaps, old friend,” he murmured. His smile was one of grief. “But at least you’ll never fall to Hell like I have.”

He began removing his gloves. “I see,” he said, louder. “Then, I have no choice but to ask you all a favor.” 

If they weren’t concerned before, then they certainly were now. But he wasn’t paying attention as they scrambled like mice, for he was focused on the pairs of eyes by the steps.

Blue like the sky. Greener than grass. The expressions they belonged to were torn, like the halves of his heart.

_I'm sorry. _

He drew his fingers over his eyes. “_Acknowledge me!” _

* * *

_ Promise me you’ll stay true to your word, Lelouch. _

Suzaku slowly rose to his feet. Heard the words leave Lelouch’s mouth, no different than when they had stormed Pendragon. He spun in a circle. One by one, he saw them surrender to his power. To _ Geass. _Their mouths hung open, like chess pieces waiting to be played. 

_ I promise you, Suzaku. _

“Mmph.” A groan came from the floor. “What the hell…? What’s happening?”

“Get down!”Kallen was immediately on top, covering Gino’s body. Her hands knotted in his hair. “Don’t look up!”

“Kallen? What are you—”

“Listen to me,” she hissed in his ear. “I’ll explain later. But whatever you do, don’t. Look. Up. Trust me.”

“And why should I do that?”

“Because if there was ever a time in your life where you weren’t a complete idiot, now’s the time.”

“Kallen,” Suzaku interrupted. “Get Gino up. Take him to safety.”

She did not move. “How should I do that?”

“Cover his eyes. Take him around back into the Academy.” His tone was sharper than the knife that scarred his skin. “I’ll deal with this.”

“But—”

“I said, take him.” _ I did this. Their suffering. It’s all my fault. _ “Let me handle this. Lelouch is mine to deal with. Please.”

There was a pause as she shot him a strange look. “Alright,” she eventually said. Whether she knew, or even understood, he did not know. “I’ll take him. C’mon, Gino. Get the hell up.”

Suzaku was hardly paying attention as she hauled him to his feet, one hand over his eyes, and slung him over her shoulder. Carefully, she began dragging him away, her dress falling apart with every step. As they slunk off to the side and vanished out of sight, the last of Kallen’s words hung back in the air: “_Thank you, Suzaku.” _

“Don’t thank me,” he muttered to himself. "I'm the reason this all happened."

Lifelessly, his gaze traveled to the knife on the floor. His hand reached for it.

_I'll make sure history repeats itself._

“This is a festival, isn’t it?” Lelouch was speaking again, crumbling whatever was left to ashes. “Why don’t we celebrate? I believe we’re just in time for the lantern ceremony.”

Their cries were rooted in his will. “Yes, your Majesty!”

The crowd dissipated. He could hear arguing as they fought over one another, each of them hoping to catch Lelouch’s attention. Disgust roiled inside, more bitter than the taste of his tears.

If being Zero was to atone for his crimes before, then what was left for him now?

Could this serve as repentance?

He looked down to see his gloves, bloody and worn, shaking around the hilt. The knife was cold. Whispering to him. A second chance to right their wrongs. But if that were the case, then why was it coupled with the stupid_, absolutely stupid _desire to save Lelouch from the fate he had sworn himself to? Why was his heart crying in protest?

_ I did this, _ he thought. Through the holes in his gloves, his knuckles were white. _ I did this. I did this. I did this I did this I did—_

“Suzaku.” He did not know when, or why, but Lelouch must have come down to him at some point. “Are you okay?”

He said nothing.

“You’re hurt.” His fingers were gentle—_the same fingers—_as he wiped the blood off his cheek. “What happened?”

Suzaku stepped back. “Don’t.”

Lelouch glanced down. “You’re holding a knife,” he observed quietly. He did not continue. Already, Suzaku knew that Lelouch understood. _ The other half of me. _

His eyes met Suzaku’s. “Come. Watch them celebrate with me.”

“What do you mean?” Suzaku said.

“It’s the Lantern Festival tonight. We should celebrate.”

“Celebrate the festival.”

“Yes. We’ve missed so many. Let’s watch this one.”

Suzaku remained silent. So did Lelouch. There was nothing left to him as he knowingly surrendered, with Lelouch moving to stand by him as the world fell at their feet. He remained quiet under the arches, his suit ripped and stained to Lelouch’s pristine white. An uncanny resemblance to a certain Emperor and his Knight from a time beyond reach.

Like a butterfly chasing the sun, one of Lelouch’s hands had found their way into his. His other trembled around the blade in his grip.

As one, they watched the people of Ashford storm the tables. Puff out whatever lanterns they could get their hands on. Eagerly lit matches. Gradually, the globes of light rose up, marking the night sky with one false hope after another. Just like the fireflies that once danced between two boys, a Japanese hopeful and a Britannian prince, as they dreamt of a better tomorrow.

The switchblade fell out of his hand. It struck the floor, joining the broken pieces of his faith. 

_ You promised me, Lelouch. _

“All hail Lelouch! All hail Lelouch! _ All hail Lelouch!_”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I currently plan on putting this on hiatus for now to work on the second half of this story, but will make sure to officially start up again once things are ironed out (likely in a few months or less). Until then, expect a few other updates here and there, as I don't plan on letting this sit quietly for too long. ;)
> 
> As always, comments or kudos are always appreciated :) Thank you so much for reading!


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